Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Developing Story - Secretary of State Defends “Mushroom Cloud” Prediction

Rice Touts ‘Axis of Evil’ Program As “Wildly Successful” In Wake Of North Korea Nuke Test

AEL Members Adhering To Program; Allows Bush, World “Swift and Unfettered” Rhetoric” As Precursor To Planting Seeds of Democracy

Barely containing an “I told you so” smile, as to her earlier warning of “mushroom clouds”, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice hailed President Bush and his ‘Axis of Evil’ program as being “wildly successful” in wake of the reports of the North Korean government testing a nuclear device this past weekend.

Rice made her comments, following a “surprise” news conference in the Rose Garden by President Bush, where he both denounced North Korea, yet also stated he has no plans to invade or attack the country.

Rice: North Korea “Following the AEL Protocol Quite Well”

Rice offered that “we have a team, an interim government we can place in North Korea, if it comes down to that.”

“I haven't spoken with the President yet today,” added Rice, “I believe he is very pleased that the North Koreans are embracing their Axis of Evil List placement and, I must admit, have been following the AEL protocol quite well... We could not have asked more of them, to prove our judgment was correct as to placing them on the AEL.”

While the President “reserves all options to defend our friends and our interests in the region against the threats from North Korea," sources close to the White House believe there is a queuing taking place, with Iran, a fellow AEL member with the North Koreans, first in line to have military action aimed against them. North Korea, the sources tell The Garlic is “likely number two ... possible number three ,,,:

According to Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century, the White House believes that, with a pumped-up ‘Axis of Evil List program, there’ll likely be a new, North Korea Group formed inside the West Wing, a second spin-off of the White House Iraq Group, following the development of the White House Iraq and Iran Group earlier this year.

Cheney and Rumsfeld Waiting In Wings With “Little Red Mao Book” Jibs For Critics

“We’d certainly welcome that,” admitted Martins. “They’ve got tons of rhetoric and slogans just sitting in the files ... And with this nuke test, they actually save themselves a few months ... The nuclear issue is on the table ... They can cut right away to the WMD’s, and how unsafe Kim Jong IL makes the world, how he mistreats his own people ... The AEL made it all possible and I believe you’ll see the White House leverage that.”

Rumors have circulated around Washington that Vice President Dick Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld may hit the speaking circuit again, reviving their “Nazi Appeasers” rhetoric, but tailoring it for the situation with the North Koreans.

“They’ll tweak the same speeches, “ said Hugh P. Varicator, a consultant with the conservative hawkish think tank, “Cry Wolf”, that is said to be closely affiliated with The Project for the New American Century (PNAC), and, some say, may be an adjunct to the White House Iraq Group, or WHIG, “and they attack the President critics with some jabs about “taking a page from Mao’s little Red Book”. They’ll have to walk a fine line, so as not to offend China.”

If President Bush was to take military action against the North Koreans, he’ll have to do it under some other auspices, as the White House is still on it’s heels as to planting any new seeds of democracy, following the stinging Inspector General’s report this past August. The report cited that the seeds used in Iraq were from an unapproved mail-order house and were “worthless”.

Varicator said that there are “many, many options besides planting seeds of democracy” and “and all scenarios are mapped out”. Including, according to Varicator, “they’ve even budgeted for the victory celebration”.

“After watching, for hours, the Iraqi’s pulling down the Saddam statue,” added Varicator, “they’ve got some new devices that will trim tearing down any statues or memorials down to minutes ... The goal is to have it work so it could be packaged inside a typical evening news broadcast.”

Rice Defends ‘Mushroom Clouds” Prediction; “Never Said It Would Be Above Ground or Below Ground”

North Korea kept to its’ AEL role, denouncing the President and the United States, calling for an end to the “hostile attitude”, which comes as no surprise to Rice.

“They’ll hem-and-haw for a few days before it all sinks in.”

Before leaving, Rice gave directions to the media assembled that “I hope you take note in your reports, that I was right about the mushroom clouds, and if you go back to when I made that fact-based assessment, I never said if it would be above ground or below ground.”

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said of North Korea’s reported testing of a nuclear device “we could not have asked more of them, to prove our judgment was correct as to placing them on the AEL.”

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