That's Amore!

Not exactly as riveting as Gabriel Garcia Marquez, in his awesome "Cien Anos de Soledad" (One Hundred Years of Solitude), where he spent about the first page-and-a-half having his protagonist describe, while standing in front of a firing squad, the first time he discovered ice, but interesting nonetheless.

Kim Young Ill had completed a 10-year project to bring pizza to North Korea

It has taken almost 10 years of work, but North Korea has acquired the technology to launch a project very dear to its leader's heart - the nation's first "authentic" Italian pizzeria.

The launch of Pyongyang's first Italian restaurant meanwhile brings to fruition a ten-year effort by Kim Jong-il - a renowned gourmand and lover of western food - to create the perfect pizza and pasta in his homeland

Imagine that.

All that huffing-and-puffing by The Bush Grindhouse, the Axis of Evil bullshit, when all they had to do was woo him with "a couple of slices".

Perhaps, we need to update that old saw of "guns-and-butter", to "nukes-and-pizza".

Last year a delegation of local chefs was sent by Kim to Naples and Rome to learn the proper Italian techniques after their homegrown efforts to mimic Italian cuisine were found by Kim to contain "errors".

In the late 1990s Kim brought a team of Italian pizza chefs to North Korea to instruct his army officers how to make pizza, a luxury which is now being offered to a tiny elite able to afford such luxuries in a country that cannot feed many of its 24 million inhabitants.

Despite the food shortages high-quality Italian wheat, flour, butter and cheese are being imported to ensure the perfect pizza is created every time.

Ahh, Little Kimmy, you need to go the distance with this.

If you are building the perfect pizza parlor, that you gots to get a Wurlitzer, and make sure this tune is in it;

That's Amore - Dean Martin




Bonus North Korean Riffs

Deadline Looms For Axis of Evil Applicants ...White House Cramming To Fill List For State of Union Address; Is Considering Adding Individuals For First Time

Axis of Evil Update ... It's Sheehan; Anti-War Mom Makes Axis of Evil List ...Down To Minutes Before Speech, Sheehan Arrested, Removed From House Chamber

Developing Story - Secretary of State Defends “Mushroom Cloud” Prediction ...Rice Touts ‘Axis of Evil’ Program As “Wildly Successful” In Wake Of North Korea Nuke Test ...AEL Members Adhering To Program; Allows Bush, World “Swift and Unfettered” Rhetoric” As Precursor To Planting Seeds of Democracy

Developing Story! Rove Has Gone From “Bush’s Brain” To “Bush’s Drain” ...White House In Crises, As Rove Takes Credit For North Korean Nuke Test ... Sources Say ‘Bush’s Brain” Weary From Sinking Polls, Fundraising; Too Tired To Come Up With New October Surprise

Breaking News! Back To The Drawing Board For Security Council ...New Problem As Jong Il Issues “Korean-Style” Signing Statement To Invalidate U.N. Sanctions ...U.S. Irate But Must Abstain Due To Conflict of Interest; North Korea Also To Start Page Program For Potential Scandal

Developing Story - Secretary of State Defends “Mushroom Cloud” Prediction

Rice Touts ‘Axis of Evil’ Program As “Wildly Successful” In Wake Of North Korea Nuke Test

AEL Members Adhering To Program; Allows Bush, World “Swift and Unfettered” Rhetoric” As Precursor To Planting Seeds of Democracy

Barely containing an “I told you so” smile, as to her earlier warning of “mushroom clouds”, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice hailed President Bush and his ‘Axis of Evil’ program as being “wildly successful” in wake of the reports of the North Korean government testing a nuclear device this past weekend.

Rice made her comments, following a “surprise” news conference in the Rose Garden by President Bush, where he both denounced North Korea, yet also stated he has no plans to invade or attack the country.

Rice: North Korea “Following the AEL Protocol Quite Well”

Rice offered that “we have a team, an interim government we can place in North Korea, if it comes down to that.”

“I haven't spoken with the President yet today,” added Rice, “I believe he is very pleased that the North Koreans are embracing their Axis of Evil List placement and, I must admit, have been following the AEL protocol quite well... We could not have asked more of them, to prove our judgment was correct as to placing them on the AEL.”

While the President “reserves all options to defend our friends and our interests in the region against the threats from North Korea," sources close to the White House believe there is a queuing taking place, with Iran, a fellow AEL member with the North Koreans, first in line to have military action aimed against them. North Korea, the sources tell The Garlic is “likely number two ... possible number three ,,,:

According to Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century, the White House believes that, with a pumped-up ‘Axis of Evil List program, there’ll likely be a new, North Korea Group formed inside the West Wing, a second spin-off of the White House Iraq Group, following the development of the White House Iraq and Iran Group earlier this year.

Cheney and Rumsfeld Waiting In Wings With “Little Red Mao Book” Jibs For Critics

“We’d certainly welcome that,” admitted Martins. “They’ve got tons of rhetoric and slogans just sitting in the files ... And with this nuke test, they actually save themselves a few months ... The nuclear issue is on the table ... They can cut right away to the WMD’s, and how unsafe Kim Jong IL makes the world, how he mistreats his own people ... The AEL made it all possible and I believe you’ll see the White House leverage that.”

Rumors have circulated around Washington that Vice President Dick Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld may hit the speaking circuit again, reviving their “Nazi Appeasers” rhetoric, but tailoring it for the situation with the North Koreans.

“They’ll tweak the same speeches, “ said Hugh P. Varicator, a consultant with the conservative hawkish think tank, “Cry Wolf”, that is said to be closely affiliated with The Project for the New American Century (PNAC), and, some say, may be an adjunct to the White House Iraq Group, or WHIG, “and they attack the President critics with some jabs about “taking a page from Mao’s little Red Book”. They’ll have to walk a fine line, so as not to offend China.”

If President Bush was to take military action against the North Koreans, he’ll have to do it under some other auspices, as the White House is still on it’s heels as to planting any new seeds of democracy, following the stinging Inspector General’s report this past August. The report cited that the seeds used in Iraq were from an unapproved mail-order house and were “worthless”.

Varicator said that there are “many, many options besides planting seeds of democracy” and “and all scenarios are mapped out”. Including, according to Varicator, “they’ve even budgeted for the victory celebration”.

“After watching, for hours, the Iraqi’s pulling down the Saddam statue,” added Varicator, “they’ve got some new devices that will trim tearing down any statues or memorials down to minutes ... The goal is to have it work so it could be packaged inside a typical evening news broadcast.”

Rice Defends ‘Mushroom Clouds” Prediction; “Never Said It Would Be Above Ground or Below Ground”

North Korea kept to its’ AEL role, denouncing the President and the United States, calling for an end to the “hostile attitude”, which comes as no surprise to Rice.

“They’ll hem-and-haw for a few days before it all sinks in.”

Before leaving, Rice gave directions to the media assembled that “I hope you take note in your reports, that I was right about the mushroom clouds, and if you go back to when I made that fact-based assessment, I never said if it would be above ground or below ground.”

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said of North Korea’s reported testing of a nuclear device “we could not have asked more of them, to prove our judgment was correct as to placing them on the AEL.”