Thursday 26 January 2006

Bush Says Palestinian Elections Not Valid; "No Official Purple Fingers Verified

Rice Offers To Send Bremmer, Halliburton In To Set Up Interim Government Until New Elections Can Be Called

In a wide-ranging press conference this morning, covering numerous hot issues, President Bush said that "the elections are not valid", when asked a question about the pending upset by the Hamas party, in apparently winning a majority number of seats in the Palestinian elections held yesterday.

"We have our people on the ground over there," continued the President, "and they could not verify one, single purple finger coming out of the voting places. Not one … In our view, that says these elections were corrupted … Fixed … We just don’t know the full story yet."

The White House confirmed that, along with normal, diplomatic personnel, additional staff was sent from the Republican National Committee offices in Florida and Ohio, to oversee the election and the vote count.

With the results not official just yet, it appears that the Hamas Party was won 76 or the 132 seats in the Palestinian Parliament, with the favored Fatah Party picking up only 43. This was the first elections for the Palestinians in over a decade.

And, with a barb aimed at his opponent in the 2004 U.S. Presidential Election, The President joked about the upset by Hamas, saying "they must have been using John Kerry's exit pollsters over there".

Hamas, on the United States Official Terrorist List, calls in its' platform for the destruction of Israel.

The White House is also considering adding Hamas on their "Axis of Evil" list, for the President's State of the Union Address next Tuesday. The White House would not confirm if the allegedly illegal election victory would increase Hamas's chances of making the Axis of Evil list.

Asked how the White House, and the United States would deal with a Hamas-led Palestinian Government, Bush said "difficultly".

"It's a complicated issue … We can't count on PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat to fix this problem. He's dead … That means he's not alive, he's not with us anymore …You understand? … We have to work with someone over there that is alive, that is with us … you see what I mean?"

The President called for new elections to be held, and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice issued a statement, saying the State Department would work with the Palestinians, and "could offer former Iraqi Ambassador and Administrator of the Coalition Provisional Authority L. Paul Bremmer, and the Halliburton Company to assist you in setting up an interim government".

When reached by The Garlic for comment, Bremmer said that he'd "be happy to serve" and "this time, I won't be surprised by any insurgents"".

In her statement, Secretary Rice warned the Palestinians that "looting with not be tolorated, no matter what Secretary Rumsfeld has said in the past".

In his press conference, the President intimated that the White House may set up a "Palestinian Surveillance Program" and that, for "the forseeable future" all Hamas leaders will be monitored by the National Security Agency.

The President, forceful said of the "Palestinian Surveillance Program", like his "Terrorist Surveillance Program" that "there's no doubt in my mind it is legal."

"The program's legal, it's designed to protect civil liberties, and it's necessary," Bush said.

During the conference, the Presidend was also peppered with questions about indicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff and defend his decision not to release the alledged photos the White House is said to be holding.

"Like Scott said yesterday," huffed the President, "buyer beware."

President Bush also pointed out that there is an on-going federal investigation into Abramoff and that they would "look into all aspects of his influence on Capitol Hill". The President then went on to commend the Congressional Republicans and their "Lobbyist Surveillance Program".

In a related matter, MSNBC host Chris Matthews said today that he was "pouring over" statements by the Hamas group, to see :how much of their rhetoric is "rehashing the Democratic Party's, and those far-out left-wingers, like Michael Moore, John Kerry, Dick Durbin and that whole gang".


















Former Iraqi Ambassador and Administrator of the Coalition Provisional Authority L. Paul Bremmer, shown here with Under Secretary Paula Dobriansky, says if he's called to head an interim government for the Palestinians, he won't be surprised by the insurgents this time