Friday, January 27, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard In The Hamas Election Headquarters

10. Authorize the spending for the cell phone plan, the "Friends and Family" one … Maybe we get the Americans and Israelis on it

9. Let's rattle our swords at ABC .. Make a demand that they put Heather Graham's "Emily Reasons Why Not" back on the air

8. Holy Shit! … We Won!

7. Call the television station, tell them to get this crap off and run that Oprah show … I want to see her slam that guy

6. Forget the election, did you hear the Sly Stone might perform at the Grammy's!

5. Hey, Chris Matthews is on the phone … He wants to know if we have any speeches coming that sound like Michael Moore

4. What do you guys think of making Gaza a Chocolate, or better yet, a Baklawa City?

3. Let's wait and see how much they give us … If they stall, we'll tell them we're going to sell our photo of Bush and that Abramoff guy

2. Get our lawyers ready, just in case those Americans, Gore and Kerry, decided to contest the results

1. Somebody log on to Amazon.Com … Buy all the books you can that tell you on how to run a country

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