Saturday, August 30, 2008

The 1,001 Points of Light

Leave it to the Republicans, and Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, at a time with the worst President sitting in the White House, in a year, from the Presidential race, to down-ticket, is expected, due to lying, scandal and abuse of power, a disaster for the GOP, and they go out an pluck a vice-presidential candidate that is, currently, in the middle of an ethics investigation.

Hmmm ... It makes me wonder if Ralph Reed was on the short list, or, perhaps, the Stumblin' Bumblin McCain campaign checked with the Federal Prison Bureau, to see if they could get Jack Abramoff furloughed for a a few months.

Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin, may not be shaking down bag men, like a former Republican gem, Spiro Agnew, but, Jesus, they've set up a "Tip Line", up there in Alaska, for people to phone in anything they have on how Palin may have abused her power.

Maybe they can work something out, like put the number under the "Country First" banners, which, IMHO, are, yet another example of how dead asleep the Rove Rats are.

Whenever I see those signs hanging over McCain, my first thoughts are "Gee, he's got a bank sponsoring his speech? ... Country First? ... Wonder where they're from ... And tying the thought of a bank to Stumblin' Bumblin John takes us where - The Keating Five (check out Barry Crimmins; Barry offers that if Palin was around back then, we'd be calling the thing "The Keating Six")

It's going on 48-hours since Stumblin' Bumblin Johnny gave his 'Price Is Right' shout-out, for Palin to "C'mon Down", and since that moment, it's been like someone left the faucet on, both levers, at full tilt, as the 411 on Palin is gushing out with the ferocity of the Colorado rapids.

Such as ...

She kills moose with her bare hands (kidding, I think), but she is a life-long member of the NRA ... She's a former beauty pageant contestant (runner-up Miss Alaska) ... A basketball star (for her work on the hardwood, the moniker "Sarah Barracuda") ... Hockey Mom (with the Repubs spinning as that's just like a soccer mom) ... Mother of five (spun as a Norman Rockwell painting, as if motherhood is some rare quality not seen in politics before) ...

But wait, there's more ...

She was for "The Bridge To Nowhere", enthusiastically, before she was against it (only after it was being ridiculed, and killed in Congress).

She is against abortion, no exceptions.

She wants to see Jesus in schools, a proponent of Creationism in the classroom

She was/is a supporter of Pat Buchanan

Pat Buchanan?
Christ, the more that comes out about her, the more she's making Ron Paul look like a pansy liberal.

Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin is a RightWing Nutjob!

Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny is being praised (hard-core RWFS Only) and castigated (everyone else) on choosing The Midnight Sun.

For my money, it's a cynical and pandering pick, a 72-year-old chest-thumping "I'm a Maverick", is more likely to produce said-72-year-old forgetting what he was talking about, reaching for the TV Guide, to check if TNT was running the Mel Gibson movie again, looping it, as they so often do, throughout the evening.

He's going to grab the woman's vote due to, for one, Midnight Sun exploited the Hillary Clinton campaign in her C'mon Down speech, and, two, just because she's a woman?

And you know what, Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin is a maverick too!

I tend to think they're spinning the "maverick" thing in an empty hat, that, looking at the Dead Campaign Express, most, if not all of the top tier GOPers were letting those VP calls drop into voicemail.

A novice, small-potatoes wannabe politician from the depths of Alaska? ... Talk about going to the "ends-of-the-earth", or in Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny's case, maybe he was warming up for that Osama bin Laden hunt, by chasing his VP choice to "the gates of the Arctic Circle"

And how's this for an endorsement, from McCain's homeboy, Charlie Black;
"[Sarah Palin is] going to learn national security at the foot of the master for the next four years, and most doctors think that he'll be around at least that long," said Charlie Black, one of Mr. McCain's top advisers, making light of concerns about Mr. McCain's health, which Mr. McCain's doctors reported as excellent in May.

We want a gun-toting, moose-killing, Pat Buchanan-supporter to be the proverbial "heartbeat" away from the Presidency?

A woman, who just a little over a month ago, stated she didn't know what a vice-president does, and dissed the job because she's a busy-bee-doer?

And, as we referenced in the beginning, her ethics investigation, Midnight Sun is going to have to balance campaigning, with giving depositions, being hounded by the media, for both, whatever stumblin' and bumblin' she picks up from her mentor, as well as any-and-all developments in with what's going up in Alaska.

And, did we mention she is a mother of five?

Now, just a month ago, we wrote;
WTF is going on with Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain?

Jesus, he might as well just start walking around in a bathrobe, like that old Mafia guy did, to play out that he was crazy.

Just ride around in the Dead Campaign Express, make some stops (kicking away the empty beer bottles to exit), shuffle around in the robe and slippers, shake a few hands, maybe pick up a few Slim Jim's at a convenience store ...Toss out a few bon mots on his heroism, his POW days, as he rips off a piece of Slim Jim, perhaps dribbling some of the dark juice on his bathrobe.

I mean, he's down to just makin' shit up now ... Seemingly not caring what he says, how it sounds, what it looks like ... Just blathering on like ... Well ... Like an old guy shuffling around in a bathrobe, muttering incoherently.

That seems to be the program, on how Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin got to be Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny's VP choice.

He's throwing it against the wall to see what sticks.

If we checked in with Punxsutawney Phil, he'd likely indicate that means we have eight-more-weeks of McCain, the Rove Rats, the Rightwing Freak Show, the RNC, running a campaign, not of ideas, but just tearing down with lies, distortions and smears, the Obama campaign.

Included in this, perhaps, the October Surprise;
Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin goes all Eagleton (or the ethics investigation yields some bombshell), and has to be dropped from the ticket.

And, riding in on the red horse, none other that McCain's Mini-Me, Joe Lieberman (apparently, McCain's only serious consideration in the first place).

Holy pre-programed Diebold voting machines, Batman!

Stay Tuned, Bat Fans ...

Bonus Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin Links

The Jed Report: McCain Didn't Even Know Palin Before Picking Her

Think Progress - Doocy: Palin knows about foreign policy because Alaska is ‘right next door to Russia’

Andrew Sullivan: A Harriet Miers Moment?

Libby Spencer: McCain gambles on Palin pick

Think Progress: Top Alaska Republicans puzzled by Palin pick

Jonathan Alter: McCain’s ‘Hail Sarah’ Pass; His choice for veep is all but set up for failure in the fall

McCain VP Confusion; Staff Had Canadian Actress Sarah Polley In Dayton Hotel For Three Days

Let's Give It To Mikey ... He Hates Everthing!

A little pause in the program here.

If you are recovering from the Dem's Convention this past week, or Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain's roll out of The Midnight Sun, seeking to see/hear/read anything other than politics, then we got a good one for you here.

Stumbled the other night on Joe Posnanski's blog.

As he describes himself, "Joe Posnanski has been sports columnist at The Kansas City Star since 1996. He has twice been named the best sports columnist in America by The Associated Press Sports Editors. As his mother says, that and about four bucks could get him a Grande Mocha at Starbucks."

As to the blog?

"This blog is a look into his confused mind."

The post that had me doubling over in stitches is Pixifoods Part I

Pixifood (PIKZ-ee-food), noun: Any food substance that is highly pleasant to the taste as a child and tastes shockingly unpleasant once you become an adult.
He has some good ones, classics, up there.

Candy Cigarettes ... Dinty Moore Beef Stew ...Fig Newtons ... Tang, and many more ...

All pretty hysterical.

Here's a sample;

As a Kid: Well, kids love the taste (and Moms love the nutrition!)

As an adult: Plastic and ketchup.

Tidbits: “Helping kids grow strong and healthy is a full-time job. Why not let SpaghettiOs brand pasta give you a hand? Each delicious serving of these tender little O’s provides a serving of vegetables (Editor’s note: What vegetables?), a serving of grains AND at least SIX essential vitamins and minerals!”

OK, beyond the obvious vegetables question, I have another one: What do they mean AT LEAST six essential vitamins and minerals. Might there be more? Have those just not been discovered yet? Are scientist working in the SpaghettiO labs non-stop and occasionally shouting out, “WAIT, I found one! Oh, no, sorry, that was some lint from my pocket. Damn. False alarm.” Or does it depend on what you consider to be essential? Like do these have Calcite in them, but many Moms don’t feel that’s essential?

I just keep it simple ... Anything "rich in electrolytes".

Go check out Pixifoods Part I.

This Date ... On The Garlic

30 August 2006... On The Garlic

Minced Garlic ... Keith Olbermann Special Comment - Feeling morally, intellectually confused?

Developing Story: Iraqis Fume, Charge Bush With ‘Cutting and Standing”; Bush Promise To Hurricane Victims Inflames Iraqis; May Sue In World Court; Fear Unfinished Job; Maliki Says “He Was Here First” and “He Can’t Stand In Two Places”

Friday, August 29, 2008

McCain VP Confusion; Staff Had Canadian Actress Sarah Polley In Dayton Hotel For Three Days

Sources tell The Garlic today, that the staff of Senator John McCain was so confused over the choice of his Vice Presidential pick, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, that they had mistakenly flown award-winning Canadian actress Sarah Polley to Dayton, Ohio, and had her in a hotel for three-days, awaiting the planned announcement.

Polley was said to have been "very surprised" with being chosen by McCain, especially with her long time political activism, and that she is a member of the New Democratic Party in Canada.

Polly, an accomplished actress, had starred in such films as The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988), and The Sweet Hereafter (1997).

Additionally, Polley was nominated for an Academy Award, in the category of Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published, for the film, 'Away from Her (2006)'.

Sources say that the McCain staff had believed that "he was really going outside the box", with the choice of the Canadian Polley, and that action had been started to usher Polley through an expedited U.S. Citizenship process, so that she could appear on the ballot with McCain.

When asked by reporters on how such an error, such confusion occurred, a senior McCain staffer offered only that "The Senator as been a little prickly this week."

Polley was reported to have said that it was "nice to get a little vacation", and that she had never been to Dayton, Ohio before.

"I mean, I hung around a hotel room for three days, they had me under wraps," said Polley. "I thought, if I was going to be his Vice President, I should have been reading policy papers, and such."

Ironically, Polley had the same question as McCain's actual choice, Governor Palin, when she asked assembled reporters, "What, exactly, does a Vice President do?"

Bonus Sarah Palin Proxy Posts

Think Progress: McCain’s VP Choice Is Under Ethics Investigation For Abuse Of Power In Alaska


Attytood: It's Palin!

(Ed. Note: Will Bunch beat me to the punch on the Monty Python reference)

BooMan: On Sarah Palin

Is John McCain Buggering Little Boys?

Mas Que Nada ... McCain Goes Pow Pow Pow - Again! Or: Donate To John McCain, and Be Included In The Telling of His Next POW-POW-POW Story

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

This Date ... On The Garlic

29 August 2007... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Another Bombshell - Craig To Enter Rehab; Cites Suffering From 'Restroom Leg Syndrome'

29 August 2006... On The Garlic

More Than A Few Cloves ... The Garlic Special - Hurricane Katrina Redux

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Here's Where Time Magazine Screwed Up

Much buzz going on, out on the World Wide Web, over an interview conducted by Time Magazine's James Carney and Michael Scherer, of Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain.

On board the Dead Campaign Express, they describe the Fly Boy from Arizona as "prickly"

It was on the 13th question (or exchange) that their fatal error occurred;

Jumping around a bit: in your books, you've talked about what it was like to go through the Keating Five experience, and you've been quoted as saying it was one of the worst experiences of your life. Someone else quoted you as saying it was even worse than being a POW ...

That's another one of those statements made 17 or 18 years ago which was out of the context of the conversation I was having. Of course the worst, the toughest experience of my life was being imprisoned, so people can pluck phrases from 17 or 18 years ago ...

I wasn't suggesting it as a negative thing. I was just saying that ...

I'm just suggesting it was taken out of context. I understand how comments are taken out of context from time to time. But obviously, the toughest time of my life, physically and [in] every other way, would be the time that I almost died in prison camp. And I think most Americans understand that.
Do you see it? ... Can you spot it?

They asked, directly, a question of him about his POW-POW-POW status.

You would have thought that two veteran reporters would have caught on by now.

If you ask him directly, he has nowhere to go with it.

He needs something else, anything else, in which to trigger the POW-POW-POW stuff ...

It's been clear, for some time, that anything can be the Manchurian Candidate Queen-of-Diamonds for Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny, and his POW-POW-POW stories, but never, never a direct question about it.
Ask'em if he heard the questions, or cheated, at the Saddleback Show... BANG, you get the the POW-POW-POW.

Make a joke about him forgetting how many houses he has ... BANG, you get the POW-POW-POW.

Ask him directly (and offered a million dollars) how many houses he owns ... BANG, you get the POW-POW-POW.

Besides, The Garlic already exposed what's going on with the POW-POW-POW thing, in our Mas Que Nada ... McCain Goes Pow Pow Pow - Again! Or: Donate To John McCain, and Be Included In The Telling of His Next POW-POW-POW Story;
Not only that, but he's added a "fish story" element to it, an umbrella of sorts, extending the magic POW-POW-POW powers to his father-in-law.

I think he's on to something here, that, maybe, he shouldn't have let out of the bag like that ...


We know he's been living, high-off-the-hog, on Cindy, her Daddy's scratch, but why settle for that?.

The Rove Rats, and Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain Campaign's next step can be to offer, for a certain-level donation, that "Senator McCain will include you in his next telling of his POW-POW-POW experience.

Christ, they let loose with that, and it will make Obama's prodigious fundraising look like lunch money.

NeoNitWits and jingoistic jackasses will come out of the woodwork, cash-in-hand, lapping it up like happy soup.

A little more than two-months left of campaigning, a POW-POW-POW story, a day (hey, you don't want to dilute it, after all) ... Charging a premium if he does it in an interview, national media, versus local ... Cable news versus network news ... Newspaper or magazine ...

This Time Magazine interview shows how well the Rove Rats have programmed him.

Who knew, they had a "Cone of Silence" on the Dead Campaign Express?

Media, be warned, he might give a little taste, now-and-then, but he's not going to give the POW-POW-POW cow away for free any longer.

Jeepers ... Time Magazine ... And they couldn't figure that out ....Or come up with some big bucks (or a box of donuts) to pay for it?

Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin Here's Johnny Riffs

The Ultimate McCain POW Song

Brilliant at Breakfast: John McCain = 4 more years of secretive, unaccountable government

Wonkette: Nasty McCain Now Just Yelling At People To Buy His Books



Greg Sargent: Prickly McCain Refuses To Define "Honor" In Interview

Think Progress - McCain: Iraq is ‘A Peaceful And Stable Country Now’

"You're Not Big Enough To Do This To Rocco ... I Kill You ..."

Make the big wave ... Send it crashing down on us ... Destroy us all, if need be ... But punish him ... Make a big wave ... Send it against us ... Take us all ... But destroy him ...

James Temple, from the film 'Key Largo'

Ah yes, the classic John Huston film, with the all-star cast of Bogart, Bacall, Edward G. Robinson, Claire Trevor (who won an Oscar), and Lionel Barrymore.

People huddled in a hotel, down in the Florida Keys, held hostage by gangsters on the lam, the great Johnny Rocco, while a fierce hurricane bears down on them

Irony and Karma are setting up on a collision course this weekend.

Hurricane alert puts New Orleans on evacuation footing
Forecasters say Gustav will have become a powerful hurricane by the time it reaches the Gulf of Mexico and will probably hit the US coast on Monday, somewhere between Florida and Texas. Its most likely path will take it over New Orleans.
What makes this so special, along with it coming on the third anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, it also could hit on the opening day of the Republican National Convention.

Irony and Karma ...

For the attendees of the convention, with the likes of The Commander Guy, Vice President Darth Vader, and, of course, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain on stage, they, too, may feel like hostages in that hurricane-beaten hotel.

There are new reports that The Commander Guy is bailing out of the convention, due to the storm (which will, no doubt, be spun by the Bush Grindhouse, on him showing leadership, and compassion; Actually, it's, kind of, like a reverse photo-op).

Well, that opens up a new excuse, as the RNC is having a little difficulty getting the elected members of their own party to attend the festivities (we assume, there'll be an Barack Obama pinata hanging for the GOP kids to be whacking).

We certainly hope the storm veers away from populated land, and that human life is spared (and, most definitely, that the people of New Orleans don't get their first serious test on how well our government has secured their city against Mother Nature).

Irony and Karma ...

Oh, and let's not forget, the McCain's-Minister-for-a-Minute, James Hagee encouraged his followers to pray for rain, during the Democratic Convention, specifically, Obama's big, outdoor speech.

The only thing that could make this more perfect, is if the World Court announces on Monday, they intend to bring the Bush Regime in on War Crimes charges.

Or, the RNC delegates, after listening to Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny, for a few minutes, decide by unanimous acclamation, they're not going to nominate anyone.

Bonus Links

Cernig - Crooks and Liars: Gustav On GOP’s Horizon?

Think Progress: Hagee Ministries: ‘No Comment’ on Tropical Storm Gustav

Salon: Bush might not make same mistake twice

Think Progress: Fox: Bush might not speak at RNC on Monday because of Gustav

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

This Date ... On The Garlic

28 August 2007... On The Garlic

This Is Just Too, Too Rich ...

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Admitting You Have A Wide Stance

28 August 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News! President Calls Hurricanes Meteorological-Fascists; With Katrina Anniversary Comes Bush Move To Push Hurricane Season Back; Cites Potential To “Disrupt Too Many Vacations”; Reaffirms War, Adjusting To Win Against Powerful Storms

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At The Emmy’s Last Night

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Barry Crimmins Returns ... With An Admission!

For many, yesterday wasn't a day to worry-and-wax about Hillary Clinton's speech, it was to welcome back after a brief summer break (if you want to call yard work and house painting a "break"), writer and satirist Barry Crimmins.

And, come back did he.

Crimmins wades in on the convention, or, better yet, conventions, in general, and the political landscape ahead.

Confessions of an ex-con (attendee)

I haven't a single regret that I won't be in Denver this week nor St. Paul next week. I am content to watch the media and pols limbo to new lows of pandering, insincerity and self-celebration from the comfort of home.

I've been to a million campaign events. I've been a credentialed member of the media at numerous national political conventions, as well as a dissident/performer at those same gatherings and several others. I've shared the stage with presidential candidates and bull goose loony conspiracy freaks. It's a toss-up which was more embarrassing.
Jump over and read the entire piece - it's insightful, hysterical and on-the-money (he could have just posted the Caroline Kennedy riffs alone and had a winner).

And you gotta read the Comments ...

In particular, the exchange between Barry and "Scout" (The Garlic did suggest to Barry that he advise "Scout" that "Boo Radley really is friendly")

Also, another comment deserves full view here;

John A. Joslin ( Detroit) -- Tuesday, August 26th 2008 5:50PM
Barry, I think we can forgive Caroline Kennedy... even though we probably shouldn't. Let's take the high road on this one. Caroline Kennedy was like a little kid trying to pin the tail on the donkey for Christ's sakes. She was used by these inane strategy bastards. They blindfolded her & set her stumbling off down the breakdown lane of the Beltway w/ instructions to find a good, honest man who can help us heal this country.

Next thing you know, she comes back with "plastic Joe " in tow, the guy who's been helping the credit card industry steal this country. She basically drags in the equivalent of 100 feet of human anchor chain to wrap around the ankles of the Obama campaign. She couldn't help it , Barry, in my opinion.

She was raised to give a hand to the less fortunate , and a sad sack old bagman w/ his hourglass running out of sand fits the description. The nautical thing was a factor, too. You know what I'm talking about : Hyannis Port , spinnakers , don't go swimming until two hours after eating a bushel of fried clams , tying bowlines with one hand , tilting decks, spar varnish, starfish, and salt water spray in your hair. It all adds up. She was spawned by water people and she knows a genuine NON-boat rocker when she sees one.

The Kennedys were always big on acts of charity. She probably figures it would be good for Joe to spend his declining years in the company of a halfway decent human being like Obama.

Plus, in case Obama LOSES ... Joe B. will be the perfect guy , right up front beaming for the cameras just like nothing happened," We fought the good fight . Tonight, we have heard the voice of the American people from the tiny hamlets and the busy crossroads , from the small towns, the farming communities, and from the great urban centers of this nation. I might have wanted it to go the other way, but let me be the first to congratulate my good friend and maniacal counterpart... blah, blah.

We can't blame Caroline Kennedy.
Go read "Confessions of an ex-con (attendee)"

Was Tweety Covering Morning Jokes' Back?

What's in the water over there at MSNBC?

Is it the long, tedious hours of covering the Dog-and-Pony Show in Denver, or is word leaking in the corridors of Rockefeller Center that Keith Olbermann is King Cock there now, much to the chagrin of Morning Joke and Tweety.

Just the other day, Olbermann smacked down Morning Joke Scarborough.

And, last night, Olbermann and Tweety butted heads.

Now to set this up, virtually the entire day, cable news (and MSNBC, which I had on most of the time) had the Froth-O-Meter turned on "High", badgering each and every colleague, guest or passerby, if they had seen or read the "Hillary Speech" and then, with said colleague, guest or passerby, spend the next 15-minutes blabbering about what "Hillary should say" or "What should be in the speech.

(As a sidenote, it seemed I had bad timing, for just about each time I switched over to CNN, Wolf Blitzer was yelling for Jessica Yellin; He's in a closed set, and with a microphone, so why does he have to shout all time? And why are people always yelling at her?)

So, after Tweety gave a rather long prattle about Hillary, and the speech, Olbermann starts to go to guest Stenchy Hoyer, and in doing so, references Tweety's long-windedness with a "going off at the mouth here", including making a hand gesture, denoting talking too much.

As Hoyer begins to speak, you hear Tweety pull back his wings and start flapping them at Olbermann.

"You make that sound, Keith ... I could say the same thing about you"

Hoyer, noting the barb, got off a good one, saying "The good news is I am sitting by, and not standing by".

Matthews Gets Testy With Olbermann During

Hmmm ... Tweety playing Morning Jokes' wingman?

And, speaking of Morning Joke, he must still be a little touchy after the Olbermann slap down, for he got all puffed up, playing out the Charles Atlas-Kicking-Sand-In-Your-Face advertisement, jumping all over David Shuster, for Shuster challenging him to criticize "his party" and Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain over the Iraq Pullout Timetable, you know, the one that The Commander Guy, everyone in the Bush Grindhouse, the Right Wing Freak Show labeled anyone who called for it a traitor, or appeaser, someone who wanted to lose the war.

It's here, and it runs about 10-minutes, but it's fun to see Morning Joke get all huffy.

Shuster vs Scarborough! Man Love in the Morning!

For Live Convention Blogging, Check Out Bob Cesca!

There is no dearth of news coming out of the convention, via MSM or the blogging world (go to Memeorandum, and wear waders).

Nor on the airwaves, with cable news employing resources and staff, that is only slightly higher then when a white woman goes missing.

So, lets us point out, above the fray, a voice or two you should check out.

Bob Cesca's Goddamn Awesome Blog! Go!

No, not our description, that is the name.

He's been going at it, giving minute-by-minute updates, marked with wry, and often, hysterical observations.

Liveblogging The DNC - Day One

Speaker Pelosi is making with the talking now. We heard her earlier as she was nominated as the chair of convention just prior to the ratification of the platform. And, by the way, she's wearing a lovely dentist smock.
Liveblogging The DNC - Day Two
My senator, Bob Casey, just delivered the line of the night so far:

"John McCain calls himself a maverick, but he votes with George Bush over 90 percent of the time. That's not a maverick. That's a sidekick!"

Governor Schweitzer of Montana is totally eviscerating Senator McCain on CSPAN. But of course the cable news networks are busy talking about how the Democrats aren't eviscerating Senator McCain. This is fucking horseshit. Here's Schweitzer:

"If you drill in all of John McCain's back yards -- even the ones he doesn't know he has... that single answer proposition is a dry well!"
Check it out ...

Also, take a spin by Dennis Perrin, for more on-the-money takes on the Denver Dog-and-Pony Show.
James Carville physically resembles an "X-Files" creature, his marble-mouth syntax harder than ever to decipher. Plus, he looks like he really doesn't give a shit about the convention. He's a Clinton crony, so he can't be happy about how the convention is shaking down, despite tonight being Hillary's big show. But overall, he just appears bored, phoning in his standard routines.
David Brooks acts like a balding, nearsighted hyena, baring his blunt fangs while making predictable, pre-chewed points. Jim Lehrer looks nearly dead, and no amount of pancake can make Mark Shields appear as if he's 98.6. Probably the freezer he's kept in between segments.
Go visit Dennis Perrin

Now This Was A Speech!

With the cable television nitwits wringing their hands, bemoaning that the Democrats are "blowing it", that for the first day-plus of the convention, they're not "gutting" the Bush-McSame regime, why wasn't this guy, and his speech, in prime time?

Wake up, America, indeed ...

Dennis Kucinich at the DNC: Wake Up America!

(H/T Barry Crimmins)

This Date ... On The Garlic

27 August 2007... On The Garlic

"He aggressively and successfully pursued public corruption ..."

27 August 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

We Don’t Have To Show You No Court Order ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cindy McCain - What I Did On My Summer Vacation ...

I think, when Georgian President Mikheil Sakaasvili, called out her husband, that he wanted more action, less talk, he had something like guns, tanks, bombers, and thousands of troops in mind.

Not his beer distributing, recipe-stealing wife (though, to be sure, fighting ginned-up wars surely builds up a hearty thirst.)

Mrs. Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain, Cindy, apparently thought better of lifting lines from Michelle Obama's speech, is headed off to the land of her husbands' "We're All Georgians", for a "humanitarian" mission, to, presumably, a week before the Republican Convention, build some chops and, a kind of off-the-rack legacy of her own.

Cindy McCain Heading to Republic of Georgia

Cindy McCain, wife of Sen. John McCain, is headed to the Republic of Georgia, where tensions between the government and Russia have sparked international concern and have become an issue on the presidential campaign trail.

McCain announced to a group of fundraisers in Sacramento that his wife was headed to the country, but the campaign did not provide any details about the trip.

McCain spokeswoman Jill Hazelbaker confirmed Cindy McCain is enroute to the nation and said she is visiting as part of the World Food Program. She said she will meet with Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili and visit with wounded Georgian soldiers.

In the Time article, McCain aides denied that the trip was specifically designed to occur during the Democratic National Convention, and specifically on the day that her counterpart, Michelle Obama, is scheduled to speak.
Oooooo-kayyyyyyyy ...

Didn't even realize the Democratic Convention was going on, right?

And how did she get over there - Randy Scheunemann's Frequent Flyer Milage?

She might feel right at home over there.

Likely, due to the conflict, the only way to travel around Georgia might be by private jet.

Or, perhaps, a few of the Sturgis bikers will go with her, and she can tool around the country on the back of a chopper.

Perhaps, like her husband, will she have a security detail of marines, complete with gunship helicopters, escorting her around the Georgian markets?

And, what happens when she returns?
Think, over-the-top, Frank Capra-on-steroids

Does she parachute into the Target Center in Minneapolis, by sheer coincidence, in prime-time hours?

Takes the stage in fatigues ... Tearfully tells her story, ending it with an crowd-out-of-their-seats, wildly, deliriously, cheering, Cindy, stridently, thumping her chest, bellowing above the din, "We Are All Georgians!, as two gigantic flags - the American, and Georgian - unfurl behind her.

A new Lady Republican War Hawk born ...

Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin' Riffs

John Cole: Go, Go, Gidget

McCain flubs the name of Georgian President three times

The Night The Russians Rolled Into Georgia - McCain's August Anthem

Why Do You Think We've Been Calling Him "Stumblin' and Bumblin"?

Hmmm ... I Wonder If Cindy Kisses His Balls ...

The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving

Mas Que Nada ... McCain Goes Pow Pow Pow - Again!

Or: Donate To John McCain, and Be Included In The Telling of His Next POW-POW-POW Story

We told you so ...

In our post Sunday, "The Ultimate McCain POW Song", we said it would come again ("don't worry, it will be soon, very soon").

And, we didn't have to worry, or to wait much more than, roughly, 24-hours.

Hit with 'houses' on Leno, McCain cites POW experience and more

LENO: Welcome back, Sen. McCain, for one million dollars, how many houses do you have? (Jay laughs, McCain squirms and chuckles)

MCCAIN: You know, could I just mention to you, Jay, and a moment of seriousness. I spent five and a half years in a prison cell, without—I didn’t have a house, I didn’t have a kitchen table, I didn’t have a table, I didn’t have a chair. And I spent those five and a half years, because—not because I wanted to get a house when I got out. And you know, I’m very proud of Cindy’s father, he was a guy that barely got out of high school, fought in World War II in the Army Air Corps, came home and made a business and made the American dream and so somehow. You’ve had Cindy on this show ...

We spend our time in a condominium in Washington, a condominium in Phoenix, some time over here in the state of California, and then we have a place up in northern Arizona,’’ he said. And my friends, I’m proud of my record of service to this country, and it has nothing to do with houses. What it has to do with putting Americans in houses and keeping them in their homes.’
Jesus ...

In a softball setting like 'The Tonight Show', rather than banter, or shoot back a zinger to Leno, he stumbles and bumbles into robot-mode with the POW-POW-POW bullshit.

Not only that, but he's added a "fish story" element to it, an umbrella of sorts, extending the magic POW-POW-POW powers to his father-in-law.

I think he's on to something here, that, maybe, he shouldn't have let out of the bag like that ...


We know he's been living, high-off-the-hog, on Cindy, her Daddy's scratch, but why settle for that?.

The Rove Rats, and Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain Campaign's next step can be to offer, for a certain-level donation, that "Senator McCain will include you in his next telling of his POW-POW-POW experience.

Christ, they let loose with that, and it will make Obama's prodigious fundraising look like lunch money.

NeoNitWits and jingoistic jackasses will come out of the woodwork, cash-in-hand, lapping it up like happy soup.

A little more than two-months left of campaigning, a POW-POW-POW story, a day (hey, you don't want to dilute it, after all) ... Charging a premium if he does it in an interview, national media, versus local ... Cable news versus network news ... Newspaper or magazine ...

Once again, as much of his life, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain falls up the ladder.

He can go home, burst through all seven front doors and shout out "Cindy ... Honey ... You don't have to steal recipes anymore ... We hit the jackpot!"

Sergio Mendes & Brasil 66 - Mas Que Nada

Get A Shovel! ... Olbermann Disses Scarborough, On-Air

We definitely want more Convention coverage like this!

This would make watching much, much more interesting ... Probably a ratings bonanza, as well ...

Oh God, this is hysterical.

Yesterday, at the Democratic Convention in Denver, Morning Joke, babbling on-and-on, how great Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain is doing, when Keith Olbermann, on-air (via an open mic), drops him with;

"Jesus Joe, why don't you get a shovel ..."

How refreshing!

It took Morning Joke a few seconds to put on the lip brakes, with a stunned "Excuse Me" look in his eyes.

This has to be a stake-in-the-ground, for all television host, anchors, moderators, et all.

Whenever they have a guest talking head on, and they start spouting out garbage, their erroneous talking points, said host needs to lean back, squint the eyes a bit, and dismissively, or with exasperation, jab "Jesus (fill in the name), why don't you get a shovel ..."

Challenge'em, don't just let the junk go unfiltered.

Just imagine, Wolf Blitzer, in his Curtis-Mathesesque-showroom-of-a-set, The Situation Room, suddenly interrupting one of his talking head guests with a "Excuse me, but put a sock in it ... "

Olbermann's live reaction and comment could herald in a new era.

Who woulda' thunk it - Morning Joke Scarborough could be part of changing the face of television coverage ...

Check it out ...

Olbermann: Jesus, Joe, Why Don't You Get a Shovel?

Bonus Convention and Morning Joke Riffs

Top Ten Cloves: Things Joe Scarborough Likes To Eat and Wear When Sitting At Computer

SilentPatriot: Does Scarborough Leave The Set After Rachel Maddow Hurts His Feelings?

John Amato: David Shuster smacks The Scar over his trying to pump “Bush’s foreign policy” as successful

Josh Marshall: Have Mercy, Have Mercy!

In The "Holy Cow" Dept; Denver Homeless Getting The Noonan "Full Detroit"

This Date ... On The Garlic

26 August 2007... On The Garlic

Defending Martin Lewis ... It's Satire, Stupid!

More Sad News ... The Passing of Lloyd The Dog

26 August 2006... On The Garlic

Weeding The Garlic Patch - New Garlic Weekend Feature

Monday, August 25, 2008

Hey Wolfson! ... Here's What The Clintons Need To Do!

Hillary Clinton is "The Most Fabulous Object In The World".

This madness has to stop.


For the umpteenth-million time, Hillary Clinton lost the primary race, and she will not be the Democratic nominee for President in 2008!

Get over it, already!

The results, no matter how many times you stamp your feet, throwing tantrums, is not going to change that

Jesus ...

Wolfson penned a piece today - Smothering the Hatchet - and offered this;

Senator Obama would go a long way towards healing these wounds if he were to specifically praise the accomplishments of the Clinton presidency in a line or two during his speech on Thursday. That should be painless---he isn't running against the Clinton legacy anymore, and it would probably be a good idea to remind voters that the last time Democrats were in charge of the White House, we had peace and prosperity. Similarly, he could thank President Clinton for all of the work he did throughout his life to bridge the divides in our country. This is a cause near and dear to the president's heart.
Granted, Wolfson did say the Clintons needed to do a few things, blah, blah, blah, however, clearly, he is placing the onus on Obama.

Wolfson also takes a swipe at the media, saying they're stoking all this, yet, Wolfson joins with The Politico, and Little Billy Kristol, in extending this soap opera.

And, let's not forget, just a few weeks ago, Wolfson was pissing-and-moaning about John Edwards costing Hillary the nomination.

Barack Obama shouldn't have to do jack shit, to coddle, mollify or otherwise kiss-the-asses of the Clintons, the Clintonistas, or the Grand Central Station Locker Creatures ("Hillary is back! The keeper of the light! All hail Hillary! All hail Hillary! Oh Hillary can you see by the dawn's early light...").

Bill Clinton needs to stop his sniffling, and powder his make-up.

Get'em a box of Krispy Kremes, if that's what it takes.

Yes, he played the race card in the primaries and, OMG!, Obama campaigned, dissing the Clinton Presidency!

Why would Obama diss the Clinton Presidency?


A Clinton who was touting her participation in that Clinton Presidency as the reason, at 3AM, and all other times, she should be the next President!

And Hillary, herself, stoked this, with her non-concession, concession speech, and, subsequently, endorsing (if not overtly, certainly by not saying no) this cathartic roll call non-sense.

Jesus ... These people.

Here, Wolfson, is what the Clinton's need to do in Denver.
Firmly, directly, redundantly, state their undying support for Barack Obama for President in 2008.

Both Clintons need to address their cave-dwelling supporters, that if they, truly, are going to go out and vote for Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, than they need to stop referring to themselves as Clinton supporters, as Clintonistas, as Grand Central Station Locker Creatures ("Hillary is back! The keeper of the light! All hail Hillary! All hail Hillary! Oh Hillary can you see by the dawn's early light..."), and Democrats ...
Then, they can catch a ride with Joe Lieberman, go officially join the Republican Party, and fuck off ...

Bonus Hillary Lost/Get Over It Links

Chris Cillizza: Placating the Clintons

Sarah Wildman: Will Hillary Clinton be a spoiler? - As disheartening as Clinton's loss is to her supporters, backing McCain is a disservice to feminism and Clinton's own efforts

Greg Sargent: Howard Wolfson Confirms Rift Between Bill Clinton And Obama

Matthew Mosk: Clinton Advisers Skipping Obama Speech

M.J. Rosenberg: Why Is This Nominee Different Than Every Other Nominee?