Well, Well, Well ... We Found Those Republican Hats!

I knew they were out there, somewhere.

The other night, in your post "There Is No Greater Cause", we brought up the issue, raised by Laura Bush and Cindy McCain, of these nefarious "Republican Hats" they were talking about;

But this thing about hats ... WTF is up with that?

We have to have a "hat controversy" now.

Who knew, in the first place, that there were "Republican Hats"?

What do they look like? ... Where do you get them from?

Do Republicans wear these hats all the time, so, as indicated in the speech, to do something else, they have to take off the Republican Hat and put on whatever hat it is to get the job done, in this case, an "American Hat"

And where are they hiding these "American Hats"?

Is this a new "Lapel Flag" thing they're trying to cook up?

Will we soon see the Right Wing Freak Show start hammering Obama and Biden for the hats they wear?

Or don't wear.

I suppose, if either Obama or Biden went hatless yesterday or today, we'll see something from Michelle Malkin, that Biden must want the people of New Orleans to drown, because he wasn't wearing his "American Hat" (or "Democratic Hat", if there is such a thing).

Jonah "Prom Dress Boy Goldberg will have a 15-million word essay on how, Barack Obama going around hatless, means he's a fascist.

Or friend, Nick Zaino, over on The Optimistic Curmudgeon, found'em!

This is one of the most disturbing, Orwellian images I've seen in quite some time, coming from a story in today's New York Times. The image of the president, looming in a dark cave with hats that appear to be headless looking up at him. Are these the "American Hats" we're all supposed to be wearing now because the Republicans have decided to finally react to a potential crisis?

If ya got'em, wear'em ...

There Is No Greater Cause ...

The GOP opened up, officially, last evening, in St.Paul, Minnesota (where they are road testing the new, 2009 Police State) though tonight is when the dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds take the stage.

Other than legally, having to gavel the the thing open, perhaps the biggest feat achieved by Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain was managing (on the third day of his VP choice setting off sparks like a radio thrown in a bathtub), keeping the chief occupants of the Bush Grindhouse away from the joint.

Hurricane Gustav is the credited saving grace, that, getting a second chance to act like they knew what they were doing, The Commander Guy and Darth Vader figured, even thought they be gone in a few months, they wouldn't get away with blowing off, again.

With the Labor Day news dominated by Gustav, on television, and Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin (take your pick - A) Pregnancies, B) Vetting, or C) all of the above), on the World Wide Web, the Dead Campaign Express was taking fire from all sides, and the more they pushed back, the more fire would deluge them.

Check this out, as Campbell Brown, of CNN, toys with Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain Campaign mouthpiece, Tucker Bounds (oh, what a treat it would be if he named one of his children "Out Of"), who, either has a hearing problem, or he just couldn't go the distance in defending the Fly Boy's choice of Wing Chick.

(I suspect, by the time the Republican Convention ends, Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin will have more "experience" that FDR, JFK, Ike and Patton - combined).

So, the opening night for the Grand Old Party had been pared down, and embued with just enough somberness (sans any black bunting) to get the suck-up from the media on "taking the right tone", with the hurricane lashing away at the friends and relatives of the Louisiana delegation.

In fact, it was announced that those fatback Republicans wanted to pitch in, do something for the victims of the storm.

And they came up with one of their snappy names, much like the horrendous branding of "Country First" (we wrote, previously, how it sounds like the name of a bank ... John McCain + Bank ... Keating Five!);

Cause Greater

Of course, you go out to the website and you get the full monty on it - "Serving A Cause Greater Than Self"

However it's a McCain website, so they have hanging over that "Country First" slogan, so, again, it looks like a bank is sponsoring this "Cause Greater" thing.

No generic agency, like the Red Cross, gets the nod ... No, you get pushed, via links, to programs in states controlled by Republicans, that may, or may not have, been hit by the hurricane.

And who do they get to make the sales pitch?

None other than First Lady Laura Bush, and Mrs. Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain, Cindy (who, no doubt, was on-line earlier in the day, seeing if she could lift any of Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin's family recipes ... A, kind of, culinary vetting, if you will).

So, the two woman married to dolts put all the heart into it;

"Our first priority now - today - is to ensure the safety and well-being of those living in the Gulf Coast region," Bush said, adding that "our shared American ideals always transcend party politics."

"I would ask that each one of us commit to join together to aid those in need as quickly as possible. As John has been saying for the last several days, this is a time when we take off our Republican hats and put on our American hats," McCain added.

See how sly they are ... Cruising, so subtly, right into that "Serving A Cause Greater Than Self" thing.

But this thing about hats ... WTF is up with that?

We have to have a "hat controversy" now.

Who knew, in the first place, that there were "Republican Hats"?

What do they look like? ... Where do you get them from?

Do Republicans wear these hats all the time, so, as indicated in the speech, to do something else, they have to take off the Republican Hat and put on whatever hat it is to get the job done, in this case, an "American Hat"

And where are they hiding these "American Hats"?

Is this a new "Lapel Flag" thing they're trying to cook up?

Will we soon see the Right Wing Freak Show start hammering Obama and Biden for the hats they wear?

Or don't wear.

I suppose, if either Obama or Biden went hatless yesterday or today, we'll see something from Michelle Malkin, that Biden must want the people of New Orleans to drown, because he wasn't wearing his "American Hat" (or "Democratic Hat", if there is such a thing).

Jonah "Prom Dress Boy Goldberg will have a 15-million word essay on how, Barack Obama going around hatless, means he's a fascist.

OMG!

They're trying to stir things up again ... Another false issue, another one of those "small things" Obama warned that this election doesn't need.

Now, I don't know if these guys were wearing any hats, whichever kind of hat, even if they owned whichever type of hat they were supposed to own.

But these guys, apparently, didn't get the memo on the "Serving A Cause Greater Than Self" thing.

Or, the one about the hats.

GOP parties as Gustav rages



Oh well ...

Bonus First Day GOP Riffs

Bob Cesca: Liveblogging the RNC - Day One

FiveThirtyEight: St. Paul, Kinda Day One

John Emerson - Police at Republican National Convention: links

Nicole Belle: Republicans Are Coming To Minneapolis…Quick! Hide The Bill of Rights!

Al Giordano - Addams Family Values: GOP Convention Make-Up Night Preview

Glenn Greenwald: Scenes from St. Paul -- Democracy Now's Amy Goodman arrested

Amy Goodman Arrested at RNC

H/T to Lisa Ballard, Via Barry Crimmins

McHurricane

As if almost to announce it, to highlight it, to call everyone's attention to it, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, and his new sidekick, The Midnight Sun, want to give a public example of Barack Obama's charge that Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny "doesn't get it".

McCain may deliver convention speech from disaster zone

McCain was scheduled to deliver his acceptance speech Thursday but now may do so from the devastation zone if the storm hits the U.S. coast with the ferocity feared by forecasters.

Oh, how wonderful it will be for "his friends".

What better remedy to going through a disaster than to have a hack politician giving a hack political speech ... Like bringing the Dead Campaign Express into a disaster zone, and giving his acceptance speech, is going to be some magic elixir ...

Wait a minute! ... I know what their up to ...

As Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny prattles on with his acceptance speech, Cindy and Midnight Sun will be tossing food rations, and bottles of water to the crowd ... You know, like they toss the beads off of the floats during Mardi Gras ... They can make it one, big happy event, before they take off in Cindy's private jet, to any one of his seven houses.

And this article from Politico, "GOP sees potential redemption in Gustav", should be retitled to "McCain, GOP sees potential in exploiting Gustav"

With the Republicans cutting back on their convention, Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny offered up this gem;

"It just wouldn't be appropriate to have a festive occasion while a near tragedy or a terrible challenge is presented in the form of a natural disaster. So we're monitoring it from day to day, and I'm saying a few prayers too," he told "Fox News Sunday."

Hmmm ... I guess, three-years ago, as people in New Orleans sat on roofs, waiting to be rescued, or the ones who waited for days, at the Convention Center, and nearly died of thirst and hunger, it wasn't necessary for The McSames to curtail the "festive occasion";

Let Them Eat Cake!

Hmmm ... If he does go the route of giving his acceptance speech from the hurricane area, what are the odds that Stumblin' Bumblin Johnny will be in simple blue dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, using the same set of lights that the Commander Guy did, and go to the same spot, in front of St. Louis Cathedral


















Bonus RNC Riffs

Nicole Belle: Republicans Are Coming To Minneapolis…Quick! Hide The Bill of Rights!

Lindsay Beyerstein: Inside an RNC Raid

Glenn Greenwald: Massive police raids on suspected protestors in Minneapolis

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving

Why Do You Think We've Been Calling Him "Stumblin' and Bumblin"?

Cindy McCain - What I Did On My Summer Vacation ...

I think, when Georgian President Mikheil Sakaasvili, called out her husband, that he wanted more action, less talk, he had something like guns, tanks, bombers, and thousands of troops in mind.

Not his beer distributing, recipe-stealing wife (though, to be sure, fighting ginned-up wars surely builds up a hearty thirst.)

Mrs. Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain, Cindy, apparently thought better of lifting lines from Michelle Obama's speech, is headed off to the land of her husbands' "We're All Georgians", for a "humanitarian" mission, to, presumably, a week before the Republican Convention, build some chops and, a kind of off-the-rack legacy of her own.

Cindy McCain Heading to Republic of Georgia

Cindy McCain, wife of Sen. John McCain, is headed to the Republic of Georgia, where tensions between the government and Russia have sparked international concern and have become an issue on the presidential campaign trail.

McCain announced to a group of fundraisers in Sacramento that his wife was headed to the country, but the campaign did not provide any details about the trip.

McCain spokeswoman Jill Hazelbaker confirmed Cindy McCain is enroute to the nation and said she is visiting as part of the World Food Program. She said she will meet with Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili and visit with wounded Georgian soldiers.

In the Time article, McCain aides denied that the trip was specifically designed to occur during the Democratic National Convention, and specifically on the day that her counterpart, Michelle Obama, is scheduled to speak.

Oooooo-kayyyyyyyy ...

Didn't even realize the Democratic Convention was going on, right?

And how did she get over there - Randy Scheunemann's Frequent Flyer Milage?

She might feel right at home over there.

Likely, due to the conflict, the only way to travel around Georgia might be by private jet.

Or, perhaps, a few of the Sturgis bikers will go with her, and she can tool around the country on the back of a chopper.

Perhaps, like her husband, will she have a security detail of marines, complete with gunship helicopters, escorting her around the Georgian markets?

And, what happens when she returns?

Think, over-the-top, Frank Capra-on-steroids

Does she parachute into the Target Center in Minneapolis, by sheer coincidence, in prime-time hours?

Takes the stage in fatigues ... Tearfully tells her story, ending it with an crowd-out-of-their-seats, wildly, deliriously, cheering, Cindy, stridently, thumping her chest, bellowing above the din, "We Are All Georgians!, as two gigantic flags - the American, and Georgian - unfurl behind her.

Cut-Wrap-Print.

A new Lady Republican War Hawk born ...


Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin' Riffs

John Cole: Go, Go, Gidget

McCain flubs the name of Georgian President three times

The Night The Russians Rolled Into Georgia - McCain's August Anthem

Why Do You Think We've Been Calling Him "Stumblin' and Bumblin"?

Hmmm ... I Wonder If Cindy Kisses His Balls ...

The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving

New GOP Strategy - Whore Out Your Wife!

It's almost getting to the point, where I need to launch another blog, just to chronicle, and keep up with, the stumbles and bumbles of John McCain.

Hanging out with his "peeps", at the 62nd Sturgis Biker Rally in Sturgis, South Dakota today, SB John set in motion a new Republican strategy, apparently.

It's not an updated version of the Southern Strategy, and while he has gone negative, and has a boatload of Karl Rove spawn aboard the Dead Campaign Express (to which we may soon see a "dancing pole" installed), he appears to be eschewing a Rovian plan.

No siree, our Arizona Boy is lurching beyond the barriers, charting out new territory, setting new standards in what may be the ultimate "maverick" move;

He's whoring out Cindy!

"...at a biker rally in Sturgis, South Dakota, John McCain appears to have volunteered his wife for a topless beauty pageant: McCain felt so comfortable at the event that he even volunteered his wife for the rally's traditional beauty pageant, an infamously debauched event that's been known to feature topless women.

"I encouraged Cindy to compete," McCain said to cheers. "I told her with a little luck she could be the only woman ever to serve as first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip."

As a reader emails, "Miss Buffalo Chip has 'been known to feature topless women' in the same way that Guns and Ammo magazine has been known to feature firearms." Indeed, an ESPN.com columnist describes it as "occasionally bottomless."

Here's a video of what Mr. Keating Five was pushing his wife into;

Pour Some Sugar On Cindy McCain



Now, this is one of those delicious, Lose-Lose faux pas, that is so richly deserved for the Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain Campaign.

What does Steve Schmidt want to admit to;

A - They knew all about what the Ms. Buffalo Chip contest was, and were, for the sake of the campaign, hoping Cindy would jump right into it.

B - They are clueless, had no idea of the history of Sturgis, and the Ms. Buffalo Chip contest

It's one thing, if you're stumping at a Boys Club Jamboree, or a 4H Club event, and you need to pet a goat, ride a horse, milk a cow ... Something that plays out for a good, fun photo-op that gets splashed across the wires ...

It's entirely on another level, a deep disturbing level, when you have the potential (yeah, right) next President of the United States encouraging the potential next First Lady, to don a bikini, bump, grind and gyrate (and more) to the hoots of hairy, drunken bikers for a tongue-in-cheek, excuse-of-a-contest, whose only purpose is to see bikini-clad (and less) woman, bumping, grinding, and gyrating (and more).

And, personally, I believe it was extra cruel to put Cindy on the spot like this.

She's likely to waste hours, hunting on the Internet, for a "Buffalo Chip" recipe she can lift, and where she can find "buffalo chips" to use.

And it could get worse (though I doubt they would do it).

To strike back, maybe the Obama Campaign will send out g-strings, with "McCain's Energy Policy" stitched on them.


Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin' Whorin' Links

The Jed Report - McCain: Clueless and out of touch at Sturgis

Hilzoy: Miss Buffalo Chip

Bluegal: McCain Offers His Wife Up to Topless Biker Babe Beauty Contest

Jezebel: John McCain Will Pimp Cindy For Your Vote

Josh Marshall: Take My Wife, Please!

Steve Benen: John, Cindy, and the Miss Buffalo Chip Beauty Pageant

Wonkette: McCain Offers His Old Lady To Gas-Guzzling Bikers

You Wanted More Humor In The Campaign, Right John?

H/T to Libby Spencer, over on the Impolitic (and cross-posted on The Reaction) for this gem.

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

Stumblin Bumblin John McCain has been defending his race-card, misinformational, lying campaign ads on the premise that there should be "a little bit of humor" in the campaign

Perhaps you can have Cindy steal a pretzel recipe, so she can make some, while you kick back with some of her beer to watch this.

McCain: Britney & Paris Ad Parody

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Reasons McCain Confused Iraq-Pakistan Border

News Item: McCain Owns First Foreign Policy Gaffe During Obama's Iraq Trip (VIDEO)

10. Wait a minute, you sure Iraq and Pakistan don't share a border?

9. Still mighty pissed off that al-Maliki hadn't endorsed his Iraq plans

8. AARP hasn't sent him his 2008 World Atlas yet

7. Thought it was a trick question

6. Answered too quickly ... Concerned Andrea Mitchell was going to call it a "fake interview"

5. Gazing at Diane Sawyer, he drifted off, thinking about one of Phil Grahams soft-core porn films

4. It was a toss-up ... Either say that, or start talking about Czechoslovakia again

3. Ate too many donuts, with sprinkles, before the interview

2. Was nervous - Worried that he was going to be asked a Shiite-Sunni question

1. Quite simply, he was drunk


Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain Riffs

What's Next ... An "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" Reading List?

No, Wait ... I Think It's Iran Training al-Qaeda To Pump The Gas ...

If He Really Wanted To Scare'em, He Would Have Named Big Daddy Lipscomb ...

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Tomatoes Are Safe Again

News Item: Warning on Tomatoes Is Withdrawn

10. Barack Obama is switching from arugula, to tomatoes

9. Well, the Government says so, isn't that enough?

8. Whether they are safe, or not, Phil Graham wants you to stop whining about them

7. Former Attorney General John Ashcroft even believes eating tomatoes doesn't constitute torture

6. Stumblin Bumblin John McCain isn't joking that we should let the Iranians eat them, so they can die

5. Nancy Pelosi is willing to put them on the table

4. You're comfortable enough to remove your lawyer from your speed dial list

3. Get Baby Alex to do a new spot, eating a tomato

2. Lift from Popeye, and the Spinach Industry campaign, and have Whimpy say "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday, for a tomato today!"

1. The one big sign tomatoes are safe? Cindy McCain is back scouring the Internet for recipes to steal

In Other Words ...

She cooks ...

She bakes ...

And, she flies!

Cindy McCain: "In Arizona The Only Way To Get Around The State Is By Small Private Plane" (VIDEO)

Note in the interview clip, the beer biz must be booming, as Cindy, casually tosses off "and buying a plane ..."

I think, in that Obama family interview, Michelle also mentions buying ...

No, no, that was ice cream.

Buying a plane, the common touch

Buying ice cream, elitism ...

Ahhh, the good life ...

That deserves something from ol' Blue Eyes

Frank Sinatra - Fly Me to the Moon Lyrics





Though, not word on what type of plane she bought, like, could it fly the McCains to Czechoslovakia?


Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain Riffs

Hmmm ... I Wonder If Cindy Kisses His Balls ...

No, Wait ... I Think It's Iran Training al-Qaeda To Pump The Gas ...

What's Next ... An "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" Reading List?

This Is Just Going To Be Too Easy ...

Top Ten Cloves: Things John McCain Does On Weekends, Rather Then Campaigning

News Item: John McCain doesn't work weekends

10. Working on his own ideas, to build a new car battery, and win that $300-Million

9. Kicks back, playing a little shuffleboard

8. Hits the recycling plant to cash in all the beer bottles

7. Sits and stews, thinking of ways he can get Baby Alex

6. Spends time working on his comedy routine and his jokes

5. Puts away his Flash Cards for the week completed, and prepares his Flash Cards for the week ahead

4. It's not all rest and relaxation - Has to supervise Joe Lieberman, whose shining his shoes, doing the gardening, taking out the trash ...

3. Karaoke! (Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran)

2. Actually does a little campaign work - Studies old debate tapes of Bob Dole to sharpen up and prepare

1. Joins his wife in scouring the Internet for recipes

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things, Besides The Internet, That John McCain May Be Aware Of

News Item: This Is Nice To Know

10. Pretty sure you need to look both ways before crossing the street

9. You mean it's not a requirement to be Vice President that you have to know how to do an Exorcism?

8. Vaguely aware of not to eat yellow snow

7. Has heard you should wait an hour after eating before going swimming

6. It was a Beach Boys song, I'm certain of that ...

5. There are 50 states, right?

4. Those aren't Cindy's own family recipes?

3. After using the restroom, Lavos Sus Manos!

2. Yeah, Yeah ... There's the Sunni and Shi’ia thing ...

1. There are electric can openers now?

Paging Linda Blair ...

"Your mother sucks cocks in hell ..."

No, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain isn't denigrating and chewing out his wife again.

But it may be words the Governor of Louisiana has heard.

Eric Kleefeld and Kate Klonick, over on TPM Election Central, have a rip-roaring tale today;

Is Bobby Jindal -- Who May Be On McCain's Veep Shortlist -- An Exorcist?

But one of Jindal's job titles hasn't gotten much attention -- and it just might prompt a few questions if his Veep candidacy gains steam: Exorcist.

As others noted during his 2003 and 2007 gubernatorial campaigns (see update), in an essay Jindal wrote in 1994 for the New Oxford Review, a serious right-wing Catholic journal, Jindal narrated a bizarre story of a personal encounter with a demon, in which he participated in an exorcism with a group of college friends. And not only did they cast out the supernatural spirit that had possessed his friend, Jindal wrote that he believes that their ritual may well have cured her cancer.

WOW!

Hmmm .. That has to lead to more questions, like has Jindal ever been hired to find Johnny Favorite, or, has he met Mr. Louis Cyphre?

With Jindal being touted as climbing that greasy Republican ladder, perhaps the McCain Camp has other designs, like having Jindal exorcise all the Stumblin' and Bumblin' out of McCain.

Or, maybe this is to ease Linda Blair into the campaign, since Barack Obama has already sewn up Scarlett Johansson.

We shall see ...

Go over to and read Is Bobby Jindal -- Who May Be On McCain's Veep Shortlist -- An Exorcist? ...

It's a gas!


Bonus Links

Jesus General: Your Mother Sews Socks That Smell

Jay Newton-Small: Jindal's Exorcism

Perrin On McCain, Clinton and Pornographic Ringtones

He's A Senator - And A Dessert Topping!

Hmmm ... I Wonder If Cindy Kisses His Balls ...

Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain is now stumblin' and bumblin' in the world of Golf merchandise.

On his campaign website, there's the John McCain Store, and among the bevy of Stumblin' and Bumblin' items for sale, is a Golf Package (They call it "Father's Day McCain Golf Pack", available for the low, low price of $50).

And with this retail foray, the Stumblin' and Bumblin' staff got a refresher in the "Be careful, you might get what you ask for ..." department.

From John Cole, over on Balloon Juice

High Comedy at the McCain Golf Store

I think the Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain website crew has taken it down, and I don't want to spoil it for ya ...

It's hysterical .. Jump on over there to check it out...

And, Cindy, the kitchen whiz wife...

As we ask in the title, does "Cindy kiss his balls?"

Go Here, to check the legend of that ...


Bonus Links

Brilliant at Breakfast: Now that's comedy

No Intel Inside

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

Change You Can't Really Believe In

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took ...

Don't know much about geography
Don't know much trigonometry
Don't know much about algebra
Don't know what a slide rule is for ...

Sam Cooke's "Wonderful World (Don't Know Much)

We have already noted that Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain is The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving, and early on in this campaign, he continues to come through in flying colors.

Spectacular flying colors.

The speech last week, the one that would have stumped and mystified Leonard Pinth Garnell, leaving the tart-tongued reviewer "deliciously absent of proper condemnation", but one example (and inside it, this little nugget).

And, of course, first, Scott McClellan's book, and now the Senate Intelligence Report, is blowing holes you could drive the Straight Talk Express bus through on SB John's Iraq position.

So, what's this week latest installment?

Only This ...

McCain thinks Putin is the President of Germany



Say What?

Did it slip under-the-radar, that the McCain Camp has hired Miss Teen South Carolina for their Foreign Policy team?

Or, did The Commander Guy throw some help to him, teaching him on how to use The Google?

Or, Mark Penn, to draw up their maps?

Frankly, Barack Obama can likely set his schedule to only go out campaigning part-time, as long as Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain continues to make public appearances and speeches.

But for you Die Hard Stumblers and Bumblers, you can look forward, if he does manage to Stumble and Bumble his way into the Oval Office, to this;

McCain: 'I will veto every single beer'

Like we've been saying, this is going to be an awful lot of fun ...

Top Ten Cloves: Questions Possible Running Mates Will Have For John McCain At Weekend Meeting

News Item: McCain To Meet With Potential Running Mates

10. If they become VP, will he promise not to explode his infamous temper on them?

9. Why do you want to know how much cash I have on me?

8. In case they run for Senate, can he tell them the secret for pulling off a Keating Five-like scam?

7. Will Vicki Iseman be around over the weekend?

6. Will ask if they can get a sneak peak at Cindy McCain's tax return

5. Is there any advanced preview of John Hagee smears on Obama?

4. If not chosen for VP, can they get hooked up as a lobbyist on his staff?

3. The big question - How many times has he gotten laid on the Straight Talk Express!

2. Will joke McCain, asking him the Shiite-Sunni question, just to hear his discombobulated answer

1. All three, annoyed, will ask - "Does Lieberman have to sit in on this?"


Bonus McCain Madcap Links

McCain's YouTube Problem Just Became a Nightmare

Think Progress: McCain implies U.S. invaded Iraq for oil

Emptywheel: Why Is McCain’s Former Campaign Chair Stumping for Obama?

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

McCain Waves The POW Flag

McCain's Foodgate ... The Gift Keeps Giving ...


Bonus Bonus

Mark Halperin, of Time Magazine asks;

Veepstakes Quiz: For all the talk of gubernatorial running mates, when was the last time a major party candidate added to his ticket a sitting or former governor?

The answer is here

McCain's Foodgate ... The Gift Keeps Giving ...

What did he eat and when did he eat it?

And, while he is committed, fiercely, to not torturing Americans, is giving them a meal from the McCain Family Recipe crossing that legal line?

This is just too much ...

The Garlic noted, and properly marked the occasion last week, of Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain becoming "The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving".

And, he's forking over presents again already this week!

Keep in mind, SB John is out there, pretty much footloose and fancy-free.

Clinton and Obama, while paying perfunctory attention to SB John, are to deeply engaged in hitting each other with kitchen sinks and anvils, far to obsessed in their warfare to bother with his gaffes.

Gift #1

McCain Takes Bold Stance On Torture: ‘We Cannot Ever Torture Any American’

Today, during the question-and-answer period of Sen. John McCain’s (R-AZ) address to the Associated Press, a journalist asked McCain about torturing terrorism detainees, saying “Don’t we stand for something better?” McCain seemed to get confused, talking instead about his opposition to the torture of Americans:

I’ve made it very clear, I’ve made it very clear in my statements and in my support of the Detainee Treatment Act, the Geneva Conventions, etc., that there may be some additional techniques to be used, but none of those would violate the Geneva Conventions, the Detainee Treatment Act…And we cannot ever, in my view, torture any American, that includes waterboarding.

HUH?

No Lieberman to whisper in his ear is getting to be pretty inconvenient for the Straight Talk Express, though, his policy of not torturing Americans doesn't go unappreciated

Steve Benen, over on The Carpetbagger Report, says it for all of us with "Well, there’s a bold declaration for Mr. Straight Talk. He does not believe that the U.S. government should torture U.S. citizens. What a relief."


Gift #2

Does he really eat this stuff, or, go through the motions and sticks to doughnuts?

Passion Fruit Mousse

Farfalle Pasta with Turkey Sausage, Peas and Mushrooms

Ahi Tuna with Napa Cabbage Slaw

These are but a few of the home-cooked meals SB John digs into, created from Cindy McCain's recipes.

Only ...

McCain "Family Recipes" Lifted from the Food Network

On a section of McCain's site called "Cindy's Recipes," you can find seven recipes attributed to Cindy McCain, each with the heading "McCain Family Recipe." Ms. Handel quickly realized that some of the "McCain Family Recipes," were in fact, word-for-word copies of recipes on the Food Network site.

At least three of the "McCain Family Recipes" appear to be lifted directly from the Food Network, while at least one is a Rachael Ray recipe with minor changes.

Oh My!

We all know the old adage of "Too many cooks spoil the soup", so, I guess, for the 21st century, the Digital Age, we'll have to update that to something like "Too many candidate's wives plagiarizing recipes from the internet spoil the talking points".

I wonder what names he called her last night for this?

And is this the cuisine of a Straight Talker?

Brilliant at Breakfast doesn't think so;

Besides, what does it say about a manly macho military manly manly man like John McCain that he's sitting down at the family table eating "Ahi tuna with napa cabbage slaw" and "passion fruit mousse"? Shouldn't a real man, a man's man, a Chris Matthews kinda man, sit down to something like wild boar with whole roasted potatoes and eat them with his hands while quaffing tankards of ale? ... I don't know, these recipes sound kinda French to me.

Hmmm ... We just noted in a Retro Garlic, the McCain-Is-Bob-Dole thing, so we'll have to do some research, to see if Libby Dole ever lifted or plagiarized anything, and put them out there as "Family Recipes".

He is going to need some good eats, to stay strong.

Those court hearings, about him weaseling out of Public Financing for his campaign, can be long and drawn-out.