Top Ten Cloves: Things John McCain Does On Weekends, Rather Then Campaigning

News Item: John McCain doesn't work weekends

10. Working on his own ideas, to build a new car battery, and win that $300-Million

9. Kicks back, playing a little shuffleboard

8. Hits the recycling plant to cash in all the beer bottles

7. Sits and stews, thinking of ways he can get Baby Alex

6. Spends time working on his comedy routine and his jokes

5. Puts away his Flash Cards for the week completed, and prepares his Flash Cards for the week ahead

4. It's not all rest and relaxation - Has to supervise Joe Lieberman, whose shining his shoes, doing the gardening, taking out the trash ...

3. Karaoke! (Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran)

2. Actually does a little campaign work - Studies old debate tapes of Bob Dole to sharpen up and prepare

1. Joins his wife in scouring the Internet for recipes

Bet On The Bug Shit

What, no S&H Green Stamps with it?

No set of steak knives?

Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain put on his Dr. Emmett Brown lab coat yesterday and firmly aligned his possible presidency with Monty Hall, and "Let's Make A Deal", offering a $300-million prize for someone to develop a battery for electric and/or hybrid cars.

Man, you knew that McCain has always been low rent, but a carny?

Is he planning on replacing the Rose Garden with a Midway?

VP Choice? ... No problem, it's gotta be the Bearded Lady!

More on McCain's $300M battery prize

In a speech today at Fresno State University in California, the Republican presidential candidate outlined his proposal for a $300 million prize for new technology that would be 30% cheaper than current batteries and have "the size, capacity, cost and power to leapfrog the commercially available plug-in hybrids or electric cars." He did not offer any technical specifics.

McCain called the taxpayer-funded prize — $1 for every man, woman and child — "a small price to pay for helping to break the back of our oil dependency."

"Step right up here ... Only one-dollar ... One, American greenback ... Step right up here ... You sir, you look like you could develop a battery ... Only one-dollar ... One-dollar gets you $300-Million ... I like those chances! ... Step right up here ... Build a battery and win a prize ... Step right up here ..."

I don't know about you, but I'm bettin' on the Bug Shit ...


Bonus Riffs

Matthew Yglesias: Prize Patrol

SF Chronicle: McCain keeps driving the energy issue

Wonkette: WALNUTS! To Give You $300 Million For Inventing Some Fancy Thing!

Matthew Yglesias: Prize Patrol