Top Ten Cloves: Things John McCain Does On Weekends, Rather Then Campaigning

News Item: John McCain doesn't work weekends

10. Working on his own ideas, to build a new car battery, and win that $300-Million

9. Kicks back, playing a little shuffleboard

8. Hits the recycling plant to cash in all the beer bottles

7. Sits and stews, thinking of ways he can get Baby Alex

6. Spends time working on his comedy routine and his jokes

5. Puts away his Flash Cards for the week completed, and prepares his Flash Cards for the week ahead

4. It's not all rest and relaxation - Has to supervise Joe Lieberman, whose shining his shoes, doing the gardening, taking out the trash ...

3. Karaoke! (Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran)

2. Actually does a little campaign work - Studies old debate tapes of Bob Dole to sharpen up and prepare

1. Joins his wife in scouring the Internet for recipes

Change You Can't Really Believe In

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took ...

Don't know much about geography
Don't know much trigonometry
Don't know much about algebra
Don't know what a slide rule is for ...

Sam Cooke's "Wonderful World (Don't Know Much)

We have already noted that Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain is The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving, and early on in this campaign, he continues to come through in flying colors.

Spectacular flying colors.

The speech last week, the one that would have stumped and mystified Leonard Pinth Garnell, leaving the tart-tongued reviewer "deliciously absent of proper condemnation", but one example (and inside it, this little nugget).

And, of course, first, Scott McClellan's book, and now the Senate Intelligence Report, is blowing holes you could drive the Straight Talk Express bus through on SB John's Iraq position.

So, what's this week latest installment?

Only This ...

McCain thinks Putin is the President of Germany



Say What?

Did it slip under-the-radar, that the McCain Camp has hired Miss Teen South Carolina for their Foreign Policy team?

Or, did The Commander Guy throw some help to him, teaching him on how to use The Google?

Or, Mark Penn, to draw up their maps?

Frankly, Barack Obama can likely set his schedule to only go out campaigning part-time, as long as Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain continues to make public appearances and speeches.

But for you Die Hard Stumblers and Bumblers, you can look forward, if he does manage to Stumble and Bumble his way into the Oval Office, to this;

McCain: 'I will veto every single beer'

Like we've been saying, this is going to be an awful lot of fun ...

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons John McCain Was Late Yesterday, To Receive His Endorsement From President Bush

News Item: McCain Makes Bush Wait

10. Had to drive around, to lose Joe Lieberman, who wanted to tag along

9. Couldn't decide whether to wear a regular business suit, or maybe the President would appreciate him showing up in his old flightsuit

8. Wanted to finish up writing some letters for his lobbyist friends

7. Actually, was detained by Secret Service, over his "wanting to shoot Obama" comment

6. Couldn't find his passport, and got a little paranoid, in case the "born in the Panama Canal" thing came up

5. Is it his age?... Woke up, forgot he was the nominee

4. Wanted to study the details of serving as Bush's Third Term before accepting the endorsement

3. Overslept (He hasn't been sleeping well since seeing Hillary's Hillary's 3AM Ad)

2. Was negotiating with White House, to see if he could bring in Bill Cunningham again, to warm up the crowd

1. Busy, calling Mitt Romney, over-and-over, and just saying "Na-Na-Na-Na-Na ... I got the nomination ... I got the nomination"


Bonus McCain Riffs

Think Progress: Bush tap dances while waiting for McCain

The Carpetbagger Report: Bush hands McCain the baton

Think Progress: Bush: McCain ‘Is Not Going To Change’ My Foreign Policy

He's A Senator - And A Dessert Topping!

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium


Bonus Bonus

Keith Olbermann: Bush the endorser