There Is No Greater Cause ...

The GOP opened up, officially, last evening, in St.Paul, Minnesota (where they are road testing the new, 2009 Police State) though tonight is when the dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds take the stage.

Other than legally, having to gavel the the thing open, perhaps the biggest feat achieved by Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain was managing (on the third day of his VP choice setting off sparks like a radio thrown in a bathtub), keeping the chief occupants of the Bush Grindhouse away from the joint.

Hurricane Gustav is the credited saving grace, that, getting a second chance to act like they knew what they were doing, The Commander Guy and Darth Vader figured, even thought they be gone in a few months, they wouldn't get away with blowing off, again.

With the Labor Day news dominated by Gustav, on television, and Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin (take your pick - A) Pregnancies, B) Vetting, or C) all of the above), on the World Wide Web, the Dead Campaign Express was taking fire from all sides, and the more they pushed back, the more fire would deluge them.

Check this out, as Campbell Brown, of CNN, toys with Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain Campaign mouthpiece, Tucker Bounds (oh, what a treat it would be if he named one of his children "Out Of"), who, either has a hearing problem, or he just couldn't go the distance in defending the Fly Boy's choice of Wing Chick.

(I suspect, by the time the Republican Convention ends, Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin will have more "experience" that FDR, JFK, Ike and Patton - combined).

So, the opening night for the Grand Old Party had been pared down, and embued with just enough somberness (sans any black bunting) to get the suck-up from the media on "taking the right tone", with the hurricane lashing away at the friends and relatives of the Louisiana delegation.

In fact, it was announced that those fatback Republicans wanted to pitch in, do something for the victims of the storm.

And they came up with one of their snappy names, much like the horrendous branding of "Country First" (we wrote, previously, how it sounds like the name of a bank ... John McCain + Bank ... Keating Five!);

Cause Greater

Of course, you go out to the website and you get the full monty on it - "Serving A Cause Greater Than Self"

However it's a McCain website, so they have hanging over that "Country First" slogan, so, again, it looks like a bank is sponsoring this "Cause Greater" thing.

No generic agency, like the Red Cross, gets the nod ... No, you get pushed, via links, to programs in states controlled by Republicans, that may, or may not have, been hit by the hurricane.

And who do they get to make the sales pitch?

None other than First Lady Laura Bush, and Mrs. Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain, Cindy (who, no doubt, was on-line earlier in the day, seeing if she could lift any of Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin's family recipes ... A, kind of, culinary vetting, if you will).

So, the two woman married to dolts put all the heart into it;

"Our first priority now - today - is to ensure the safety and well-being of those living in the Gulf Coast region," Bush said, adding that "our shared American ideals always transcend party politics."

"I would ask that each one of us commit to join together to aid those in need as quickly as possible. As John has been saying for the last several days, this is a time when we take off our Republican hats and put on our American hats," McCain added.

See how sly they are ... Cruising, so subtly, right into that "Serving A Cause Greater Than Self" thing.

But this thing about hats ... WTF is up with that?

We have to have a "hat controversy" now.

Who knew, in the first place, that there were "Republican Hats"?

What do they look like? ... Where do you get them from?

Do Republicans wear these hats all the time, so, as indicated in the speech, to do something else, they have to take off the Republican Hat and put on whatever hat it is to get the job done, in this case, an "American Hat"

And where are they hiding these "American Hats"?

Is this a new "Lapel Flag" thing they're trying to cook up?

Will we soon see the Right Wing Freak Show start hammering Obama and Biden for the hats they wear?

Or don't wear.

I suppose, if either Obama or Biden went hatless yesterday or today, we'll see something from Michelle Malkin, that Biden must want the people of New Orleans to drown, because he wasn't wearing his "American Hat" (or "Democratic Hat", if there is such a thing).

Jonah "Prom Dress Boy Goldberg will have a 15-million word essay on how, Barack Obama going around hatless, means he's a fascist.

OMG!

They're trying to stir things up again ... Another false issue, another one of those "small things" Obama warned that this election doesn't need.

Now, I don't know if these guys were wearing any hats, whichever kind of hat, even if they owned whichever type of hat they were supposed to own.

But these guys, apparently, didn't get the memo on the "Serving A Cause Greater Than Self" thing.

Or, the one about the hats.

GOP parties as Gustav rages



Oh well ...

Bonus First Day GOP Riffs

Bob Cesca: Liveblogging the RNC - Day One

FiveThirtyEight: St. Paul, Kinda Day One

John Emerson - Police at Republican National Convention: links

Nicole Belle: Republicans Are Coming To Minneapolis…Quick! Hide The Bill of Rights!

Al Giordano - Addams Family Values: GOP Convention Make-Up Night Preview

Glenn Greenwald: Scenes from St. Paul -- Democracy Now's Amy Goodman arrested

Amy Goodman Arrested at RNC

H/T to Lisa Ballard, Via Barry Crimmins