DUH!

We haven't, until today, riffed at all on the faux Hatfield-McCoy battles of the Debt Ceiling debacle.


 


The Dems blew their chances for this to be a no-brainer last year, when they held all the cards.


The Party-of-Noicans want us all to fight over potato rations and dirty rain water, unless they get what they want, which is an end to Medicare and Social Security.


Lassie's friend, Little Timmy is warning the sky is falling.


Krugman is standing on a chair, screaming at the top of his lungs, but nobody in Congress or the White House is listening.





Mommy Moose is threatening The Crying Man, that she'll kick his ass (and knock out all his teeth for mumbling about it) if he caves to the Dems.


So, it took Matthew Yglesias, today, to give a proverbial "Head-Slap" to everybody 

Surveying the scene, perhaps everyone should take a deep breath and recall the traditional way the country has avoided default when the debt ceiling needs raising: Congress raises the debt ceiling.


It’s that simple. The same kind of “clean” debt ceiling increase that’s passed repeatedly over the past 100 years will allow the country to avoid default without tax increases, without defense cuts, and without slashing entitlement spending. Education will be spared. So will transportation, health care, farm subsidies, and everything else. The interest rates investors are charging the American government to buy our debt are extremely low right now. The world economy is suffering from an excessive demand for American debt, not by reluctance to lend. All we need to do to keep our finances flowing is to raise the statutory debt ceiling. At some point, things will change, and we may face a crisis that requires bipartisan dealmaking and “tough choices.” Right now, though, the only crisis we face is an entirely self-created one. House Republicans wanted to create a hostage situation to force President Obama to propose steep spending cuts. But when Obama came to the table with a proposal for steep cuts, it turned out that Republicans don’t actually want to sign a bipartisan deal. Which is fine. Don’t sign a deal! The absence of a deal in no way forces a crisis. Just raise the debt ceiling, fight the 2012 elections, and pick up the long-term budget issue then.


The world has plenty of problems on its plate right now. The long-term U.S. structural deficit isn’t one of them. The expiration of the Treasury Department’s borrowing authority is one. And the latter problem can be solved without addressing the former.

Naw, that's too easy ...


The new date now is August 2nd for the Economic Meteor to make it's fiery crash, which means we have nearly three-weeks for all this bullshit to continue, before, either Obama gives us more of that Hope & Change, and the Dems cave to the Party-of-Noicans, or, somebody pulls up Yglesias' post and the Lapdog media can go back to covering The Wasilla Whiz Kid (who, along with boasting she can kick anyone's ass in an election,  is aghast now over the price of Slim Jims).


Let's hope we don't have to bring Joe Gideon out for a curtain call;


Bye Bye Life - "All That Jazz" 1979

It Takes One To Know One

As The Nation's Chris Hayes so perfectly put it: "Just when you think the news cycle can't get any stupider, Mark Halperin publishes a book."

This quote comes from Glenn Greenwald, talking about Mark Halperin and John Heilemann's new book, Game Change, back in 2010.


This was post-campaign, where Halperin openly inserted himself into the Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain Campaign, giving McCain advise on how to beat Obama, of which the advice was openly racist.


Such so, that we wrote, in 'Some More Donuts, There, Mr. Halperin?' here on The Garlic, that;

About the only thing missing for Time Magazine's Mark Halperin, during his appearance yesterday on 'This Week with George Stephanopoulos', was having "McCain 08" tattooed on his forehead, and the Dead Campaign Express bus parked on set, behind him.

 


So, opening up the World Wide Web today, we were not, necessarily, surprised to see that Halperin, appearing on "The Morning Joke"program, called President Obama "a dick", which, naturally, has kicked up a dust storm of backlash, and hand-wringing.


Let's turn to Crooks and Liars for the replay;

Scarborough set Halperin up by asking him about yesterday's press conference where President Barack Obama "scolded" Republicans for not raising the debt ceiling.


"Are we on the seven-second delay?" Halperin asked.


"Yeah, sure," Scarborough said. "Come on. Take a chance."


"I thought he was kind of a dick yesterday," Halperin announced with smile.

Ha ... Ha ... Ha ...


Isn't that Mark Halperin a witty felllow ...


No, not really.


Merely staying true-to-form.


Steve Benen, over on 'The Washington Monthly' nails it;

If you can watch the video, note how Halperin, ostensibly one of the nation’s most influential pundits, was smiling, with a smug satisfaction. It wasn’t a word he just blurted out in the heat of a larger discussion — Halperin thought about it, asked about whether the broadcast was on a seven-second delay, and then took his shot.


[snip]


There are a couple of angles to keep in mind here. The first is that Halperin’s credibility as an objective observer of political events has long been dubious, at best, but this morning’s little stunt should remove all doubt. In candor, I don’t much care that Halperin sides with the right over the left, and takes cheap shots at Democrats. I care that Halperin is presented to the public as a neutral, even-handed expert, when that’s plainly not the case.


To this extent, the “dick” comment only helps bring an end to a thin pretense.


The other point that’s worth remembering is the larger dynamic. Forget Halperin’s choice of words, and instead consider the argument he and his “Morning Joe” colleagues were pressing. They were annoyed, apparently, because President Obama wasn’t docile and conciliatory during his press conference. He showed some backbone, and this seems to have troubled the political establishment to no end.


If the president stays cool, he’s an emotionless Mr. Spock. If the president shows some fire in the belly, he’s “a dick.”

Maybe, Halperin was secretly auditioning for a job with Faux News.


Halperin was long been a dick, as Benen put it Halperin’s credibility as an objective observer of political events has long been dubious, and he as long been a sycophant for the PartyofNoicans.


From our "Assforwards, For Mark Halperin";

It's a wonder that Time Magazine's Mark Halperin doesn't have, permanently, the imprint of ass on his face, for his obsequious kissing (and, often, at times, firmly planted up) the PartyofNoican's behinds.

Check his cheeks, and puckered lips, today, there should be a fresh imprint.


 


Bonus Riffs


Alex Pareene:  Mark Halperin comes up with great excuse to fire Mark Halperin


Steve M:  I THINK MARK HALPERIN IS FINALLY GOING TO GET WINGNUTTIA TO GIVE HIM A TUMBLE


DougJ in Damascus:  The mask slips


Scarecrow:  Breaking! Supreme Court Rules 9-0 It’s Okay to Call Mark Halperin an Adolescent “Dick”

Reconciliation, For Dummies

That be you, President Obama, and the entire Democrat Caucus!

You guys have been acting like old ladies, standing on a chair, because a mouse came into the room, all because some bozo PartyofNoican won an election nobody thought he would (and, in fairness, he campaigned, and took victory, without mentioning he was a PartyofNoican), and, suddenly, the sky is falling.



This is what we wrote last week;

However, as to the bigger picture, unless something remarkably uncanny happened, and all kinds of state and federal laws were, suddenly, abrogated, and changed, today, newly-elected Teabagger Senator Scott Brown only won one Senatorial seat, not 18-20, and, unless something else has changed, Brown will come to a dead stop, after he runs-like-the-wind, to get to DC, and join the rest of the PartyofNoicans, in doing nothing

[snip]

What the Dems need to do is, along with growing a few pairs, start governing, start using their majority in Congress, to govern, much as the PartyofNoicans did (when they were known as "Republicans"), during the The Bush Grindhouse years, where they, without a majority, handed The Commander Guy everything he wanted.

Since you seem to be having trouble growing a pair, Paul N. Van de Water and James R. Horney have handed you some, and laid it all out for you today;

Using Reconciliation Process to Enact Health Reform Would Be Fully Consistent With Past Practice

Conclusion

Because rising health care costs represent the single largest cause of the federal government’s long-term budget problems, fundamental health care reform must be part of any budget solution.[15] The foregoing examples indicate that using the budget reconciliation process to enact health reform in 2010 would be consistent with the ways in which Congress has used reconciliation in the past. Many major policy changes, including welfare reform, large tax cuts, and new health programs, have been included in past reconciliation bills. Moreover, if health reform is pursued through the reconciliation process this year, the resulting legislation — unlike the tax cuts of 2001 and 2003 — will need to be designed so it does not add to the deficit. Any legislation also is likely to include provisions, such as an independent Medicare Commission and demonstration projects to identify ways to deliver health care more efficiently, that could lead to further reforms that slow the growth of health-care costs and contribute to longer-term deficit reduction.

Back in the old days (early 70's) on the "Point-Counter" of '60-Minutes', Nicholas von Hoffman called disgraced President Richard Nixon a "dead mouse on America's kitchen floor ... And it was time for Congress to come in and sweep it up ..."

This is your moment, this is what you are there for.

So, climb down off your chairs, grab a broom, sweep away those pesky, minority PartyofNoican mice, and get to work passing legitimate, benefiting-the-citizens-not-the-corporations, Healthcare Reform (and, with a Public Option, or Single-Payer, thank you, very much).

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Majority of Republicans Believe ACORN Orchestrated

News Item: Poll: Majority Of Republicans Think Obama Didn't Actually Win 2008 Election -- ACORN Stole It!

10. Smuggling a baby Barack Obama, out of Kenya, and forging a fake Hawaiian Birth Certificate

9. Sinking of The Maine

8. It was ACORN who gave Senator Larry Craig a wide-stance

7. Katie Couric asking Sarah Palin tough questions, like, "What books or magazines do you read?"

6. Acorn planted Congressmen David Vitter's number in the D.C. Madem's phone book

5. Nixon, taking the United States off the Gold Standard

4. Forced Ted Haggard to seek a Masseuse

3. The Lindbergh Baby Kidnapping

2. The Balloon Boy fiasco was really an ACORN Satellite being launched

1. Somehow influenced Bill Belichoke going for it on 4th down


Bonus PartyofNoicans Riffs

Will Bunch-Attytood: The 26 Percent Solution

David Dayen: GOP Fearmongering Succeeds In Casting Doubt On Legitimacy Of The Electoral Process

Digby: Illegitimacy

Spencer Ackerman: A Paucity Of Explanations

Steve M - ACORN: THE OTHER SUPERVILLAINS WITH SUPERPOWERS

Glenn Greenwald: The unconstitutionality of the congressional GOP's ACORN obsession

Top Ten Cloves: What If Barack Obama Discovered America?

News Item: Happy Columbus Day?

10. Arugula would be as common as french fries today

9. There would be a buzz that he didn't wear any Lapel Pins

8. Obama's wife going sleeveless would intimidate the locals

7. No Minister Controversy- Nothing has happened yet to cause "Chickens coming home to roost"

6. Big public fight with one of his captains, who says that Obama needs to deploy an armada of ships for the mission

5. Exploring the New World would be delayed a few months, while Obama sought out getting a pet dog for his children

4. Obama would be telling the ships' crew that it was wrong to look backward

3. Early critics would huff-and-puff that he relies on the "Parchment Scroll" too much

2. Any Native Americans that were "birthers" would be right!

1. Before long, they will be saying that Obama is "Palling' around with Pirates"


Bonus Links

Wikipedia - Columbus Day

History of Columbus Day

Christopher Columbus

Top Ten Cloves: Things About If John McCain and Sarah Palin Discovered America

Top Ten Cloves: How History Would Be Different if Bush & Co. Were The Ones To First Discover America

Make Way For The New Jib Jab!

Well, since we had a busy day on the homefront (Doc appointment for The Aunt, followed by other required duties), that left minimal time for reading and writing (and, boy, is there a ton of stuff to riff on, including a boatload of Instant, and otherwise gigantic, Ignorant Dolts).

So, we'll put up as a place-holder, the new Jib Jab video, debuted this evening, at the 2009 Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner, down in Washington, D.C.

As always, Jib Jab nails, most humorously ...

He's Barack Obama Released — June 19, 2009

(Editor's Note - Can't get the video to post here, so click the link to get to it)


Other Links

Huffington Post - Obama's Radio And TV Correspondents' Dinner Speech (VIDEO)

C-SPAN - 2009 Radio and Television Correspondents' Dinner

Democratic Underground - John Hodgman @ Radio & Television Correspondents Dinner (Part 1)

Play Ball! ... The Best Baseball Primer Is Here!

Yes, it's that time of year when The Garlic swings into Public Service mode, to educate the young'ins, nourish the nattering needy, and give you the blueprint for being able to sit down and watch a Major League Baseball game, not feeling as if, suddenly, the world began speaking Esperanto, and no one gave you the memo.



It's our triannual posting of "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?"

And, in fact, we can brag some, as, with only a little stretching, we can say that our Baseball Primer was endorsed by the now-sitting President of the United States;

Great piece! I’d like to ask if I can record ‘Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?’ for my next Spoken Word project?”

Barack Obama, Senator, U.S. Senate

And, it has crossed international boundaries;

Since I’ve been in a letter-writing mode lately, thought I’d drop you a note to say how much I enjoyed the baseball essay and how much I learned from it. Perhaps, someday, we’ll have the game over here (and with the stadium lights powered by our new nuclear energy!)

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran

What makes The Garlic's "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?", so good?

We drill down.

For instance, do you know the difference between a starting pitcher and a relief pitcher;

The man that throws the ball is called a pitcher. You have different kinds of pitchers – starting pitchers and relief pitchers. A starting pitcher will pitch for as long and and as well as he can. If he doesn’t have his stuff (all pitchers will tell you that they have stuff) and can’t finish the game, a relief pitcher is brought in.

There are various breeds of relief pitchers. You have long relievers and short relievers. The title refers not to their size but to the length of time that they pitch. After all, you have long relievers that are short and short relievers that are tall.

Or the difference between leftfield and the opposite field?

In the outfield, you have a right fielder, left fielder and center fielder. There is no opposite fielder. The three outfielders are expected to cover the opposite field - wherever that may be based on who’s at bat. You also have utility fielders and, no, there isn’t a utility field. A utility fielder can play both the infield and outfield, but not at the same time.

Or how a hitter (or batter) can hang in there?

A hitter can hang in there by fouling one off or fouling it upstairs. He can also foul it out of play, foul it back, chop it foul or pop it foul. Sometimes the ball just drops foul. There are times when a hitter will foul out. If a pitcher (starter or reliever, long or short) throws a spitter, you’ll see the hitter cry foul. The umpires, the men in dark suits who stand behind the bases and enforce the rules, take a lot of foul abuse from players and fans, who holler foul when they don’t agree with the umpire’s decision. Foul weather will cancel a game, putting everybody in a foul mood.

There's a lot to grasp in our national pastime, so, if you're sitting there with your sweetie, or going out with the gang after work, to catch a game, you don't want to come off as Miss South Carolina.

Have a little pride, get glove, get in the game, as they say.

Go read The Garlic's "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?"

It will save you from suffering a summer of ridicule.


Bonus Fungo Riffs

Politics and Sports Collide ...Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal ... Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone ... Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Mitchell Baseball Steroid Investigation Is Unlike CIA Torture Tapes Case

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Citigroup Keeping Stadium Sponsorship After Getting Government Bailout

You Don't Hit With Your Face

First Day of School...5 years from now

This is pretty damn funny!



First Day of School...5 years from now

And here's a related article to it;

Black cartoonists missing from pages

H/T to my friend, Dee Dee, for this

Breaking ... Obama Team Vetting Food Tasters

Sources have told The Garlic this evening, that within minutes after announcing his National Security Team, President-Elect Barack Obama's transition squad began a scheduled vetting of food tasters, that will be employed in the administration.

"This has been in the cards for quite some time," indicated the source, an Obama insider.

"Once they won the primary, and began thinking about the "Team of Rivals" thing, this was put in motion."

It is not known who these potential "Food Tasters" are, how they will work, if they will actually taste the food for the President, or merely test it.

The Obama Team has no concerns, as to the integrity of the White House Chef, or any member of the staff.

However, guidelines are continuing to be worked out.

During Cabinet meetings, in which the President will attend, Cabinet members, and any staff, will have their own, separate table of food and beverages, the President, his own, guarded by Secret Service agents.

The President will drink from a covered, travel-type mug, and any food brought into the meetings must be sealed, and have a Secret Service escort.

Other meetings (outside of the White House), and formal events, in which Cabinet members are in attendance, a similar protocol will be implemented.

Should a Cabinet member visit the President in the Oval Office, that Cabinet member may have a full search conducted, before entering, and they will be instructed to sit, at minimum, ten-feet away from any food items the President may have in his office.

Another recommendation, that our source indicates the President-Elect was balking at, is that he must wear surgical latex gloves when shaking hands with any Cabinet member.

More, as this story develops ...


Bonus Links

CNN: Obama rolls out national security team

Robert Stein: Clintons Front and Center Again

Mary Ann Akers: It Hurts To Be John Kerry Today

Katharine Q. Seelye: Live Blog: Presenting the National Security Team

Frank James: Obama rebukes Bush years with Clinton

Kevin Drum: Press Conference Follies

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Neighbor Is Being Vetted For An Obama Cabinet Post

News Item: Barack Obama and the Culture of Leaks

10. They asked you to TIVO the Obama's visit to the White House, and now come over every day to watch, gushing over it

9. Family is listening to audio book "Dreams of My Father", with the volume cranked all the way

8. Your weekly bridge game gets constantly interrupted by Secret Service agents, asking probing questions

7. Clinton friends and supporters have begun threatening you

6. You used to live next door to Michael Vick

5. Rahm Emanuel has already kidnapped their children, as leverage, to prevent them leaking to the media

4. Rather suddenly, family walking around, wearing Chicago Bears jerseys - And you don't live anywhere near Chicago

3. You hear banging, a commotion, and you're neighbor crying, sobbing "But I've never been a lobbyist ... I don't even know any lobbyists"

2. You've seen the book, ''Team of Rivals' on their coffee table

1. Their kids are running all over the place, swearing like Joe Scarborough

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Hillary Clinton Becoming Secretary of State

News Item: Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State?

10. Despite getting the appointment, Hillary will still expect Obama to pay off her campaign debt

9. A really, confusing, cumbersome, crazy confirmation hearing, if Hillary brings all those voices she heard, to testify on her behalf

8. It will escalate the Hillarylanders-Daily Kos Strike

7. Disaster, if hires just one, certain person for her staff - Mark Penn

6. We win every diplomatic crisis, with new negotiation tool - Hillary breaks down, crying

5. Oh God, that means we'll have to put up with Lanny Davis, again!

4. Already has world community intimidated, as they remember what Samantha Powers had to say about Hillary

3. Doris Kearns Goodwin gets another three-months-plus of making the cable show rounds, waxing about her book, 'Team of Rivals'

2. Will save money on security - Hillary already knows how to duck sniper fire

1. Maybe it's all a ruse, and Obama is implementing Robert Smigels', 'The Obama Files'


Bonus HRC To State Riffs

A.J. Liebling: Hillary Clinton's Defining Moment

The Jed Report: HRC For Secretary Of State

Laura Rozen: Will Hillary Clinton Be Taking Those 3:00 am Calls After All?

Al Kamen and Philip Rucker: In the Loop - Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State?

Something's Coming

Well, the tension is all set now.

In, hopefully, less then 24-hours, we'll know who our next President is going to be.

God, I hope it's less than 24-hours, and that we don't get into a retro 2000 scene, that Obama, right out of the gate, as soon as possible, after the first polls close, starts cleaning the clock of the Dead Campaign Express.

Especially after today.

Mommy Moose saved some her best for the last day on the stump, spraying her lies and smears most viciously.

The Republicans, led by their California branch, worked their slime as well, filing a charge with the FEC, to rap Obama for using his Campaign plane to visit his ailing grandmother, who today, it was announced, passed away.

What do they call this, Desperate Compassion?

If McKKKain had any class, he'd either publically state for the charge to be withdrawn, or that he would have his wife pay whatever the cost was for the trip

So, as you gird your loins for the barrage of talking heads tomorrow, passing off anxiety attacks for commentary, repeating the same stale hash they have been for the past number of weeks and months, the donut eaters interpreting a Autumn afternoon breeze as some tell-tale sign that it will be a good night for the Stumblin' Fly Boy, let us hope that we don't have the greatest freak of all-time, that all the polls are wrong, and Obama, as well as the down-ticket contenders, crushes the GOP into oblivion.

Here's a little something to work off that tension with.

Sing along, sing loudly!

West Side Story-Something's Coming

Everything Must Change

Well, the day didn't go exactly as planned.

A few rough spots on the homefront, and feeling pretty rundown (there's a Flu-thing going around and I have been doing yeoman work to stay away from it), so time for writing got tossed overboard.

Rather than putting up a goose-egg, I though, with these final, frantic, hectic, over-the-top hours of the campaign, we'd give you a respite, something to take time-out with, chill out for a few minutes, catch your breath, collect your thoughts ...

And, it, kind of, fits into what's going down right now.

We give you the Benard Ighner tune, "Everything Must Change", first heard, I believe, on the Quincy Jones album, "Body Heat".(I first got hip to it, in 1980, having moved to Venice Beach, LA had a 24-hour Jazz station at the time, KKGO, they played it often, and since then, it has been somewhat of a Jazz standard, covered by many)

So, take a break for a monster tune.

Quincy Jones " Everything must change " 1974

Good Post Alert: Barry Crimmins with "Eat Jim Crow!"

The Bradley Effect.

OMG!

Dollar Bill is coming back to the Knicks?

No (but, boy, could they sure use him), however, we have seen the increased conversation about the infamous "Bradley Effect" creeping into the cable news election talkathons.

Spike Lee, not buying into the BS that Morning Joke was slinging the other morning, had it right, giving the Jokester an incredulous look and saying "That was last century!"

For a good time, I always thought the "Bradley Effect" had something to do that the former Mayor, and Edward G. Robinson, were long lost brothers, separated-at-birth, perhaps.







Ah, but we digress.

Today, Barry Crimmins has a monster post, "Eat Jim Crow!" (which followed a monster post, and extremely funny the day before, Sis! Boom! Blah!), which peels back most of the chatter and babble you've been hearing from the TV Talking Heads.

From "Eat Jim Crow!";

Anyway, the pundits seem unconcerned that that election was 26 years ago and even less concerned that many of those who voted against Bradley now have something in common with him.... since they are dead, too. I'm certain race played a factor in that contest but I'm also wagering that Bradley had nothing going for him that even mildly approached Obama's vaunted ground game. Besides, Bradley wasn't running to replace the worst president in American history. But most important of all, a quarter of a century later voters are much less likely to vote against their own best interests because they fear/hate the thought of an African-American leader.

I think something akin to the Bradley Effect is still around but severely diminished because we're a more integrated society these days and integration works. Why do you think so many young people can't get their heads around all the racial hubbub that's accompanied this election? I'd say it's because they have grown up in a world where seeing black kids in school or on Sesame Street is just part of everyday life. (Granted we have a few million more miles to go but the improvement is hard to miss.)

And this;

Then there are the people who are just sick of racists. They may suffer these jerks in silence but given a chance to really, really bum them out by casting a vote for Obama provides an opportunity for the most eloquent rejoinder of all. As far as the pollsters getting it wrong by not allowing for the Bradley Effect, isn't it just possible that some people tell pollsters they aren't voting for Obama because they are speaking within earshot of bully racists who live in their homes? How many long-suffering wives who have spent decades listening to their blowhard husbands spew bigotry are just waiting to pull the curtain shut to click a big "fuck you" to a racist spouse? No one can say.

Jump on over to Barry's site and read the full post of "Eat Jim Crow!", it's a good one!

Good Post Alert: The Three Ashleys

I found a great post last evening, that tells a great deal about this year's election.

Sean Quinn, over on FiveThirtyEight.com put up The Three Ashleys.

Typically, I would quote a passage, or two, for the piece, however, I think it will read better if you just jump on over there and check it out.

Particularly, the second and third "Ashley" referenced, can, succinctly, stand in for the elevator pitch, or Reader's Digest version, for a quick snapshot on the differences between Barack Obama and Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain

Go read "The Three Ashleys"

Developing Story ... McCain Camp May Have Candidate's Mother Fall Ill

Can't Allow Obama To Gain Family Value Advantage; McCain May Suspend Campaign, Monitor Mother By Phone

Sources tell The Garlic that the inner circle of the McCain Campaign is weighing asking the candidates mother to become ill, so they can match the actions of their Democratic opponent, who is leaving the campaign trail on Thursday for Hawaii, to visit his seriously ailing grandmother.

According to the Chicago Tribune, "Barack Obama will suspend his presidential campaign for part of two days this week to return to his native Hawaii to be at the side of his gravely ill grandmother, a campaign aide said Monday."

Madelyn Dunham, 85, was released from a hospital late last week and returned to her home in Honolulu with a health condition the aide described as "very serious."

Obama's decision to cancel campaign events "underscores the seriousness of the situation," senior aide Robert Gibbs told reporters during an evening flight after a campaign event in Orlando.

As the Illinois Democrat recounted in his memoirs, Dunham, his maternal grandmother, acted in many ways as a surrogate parent.

The plan, which may come over the next day, or two, will come on a moments notice, when John McCain will announce that he is suspending his campaign once again, to rush off to visit his ill mother.

"We can't allow Obama to have an upper hand, with a Family Value issue, this close to the election.", it was reported Campaign Manager Rick Davis barked.

Davis also was said to have told his staff that a PR campaign, including robo-calls, will be mounted, noting that Obama hasn't apologized or repudiated his grandmother's illness, which amounts to his smearing McCain's ill mother.

"He wants to spread around sickness and illness, along with all that wealth he's going to steal from people like Joe the Plumber", will be included in the robo-calls.

The illness of the elder Mrs. McCain will not be disclosed, and the campaign is in the process of lining up another interview with Katie Couric, that the Senator will detour to, before leaving for Arizona, to be with his ailing mother.

No word if a second interview, or talk show appearance will be set, so that he can blow that off for the Couric interview.

Once in Arizona, staffers have told The Garlic source, McCain will use the same successful strategy he employed in solving the Wall Street Meltdown Rescue Package, and closely monitor his mother's condition via telephone.

He will then emerge from the second campaign suspension, declaring that he cured his mother, with a deregulated, private healthcare plan, and accuse Obama, and some of the doctors and medical staff, of wanting to let her die.

McCain's running mate, Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin, will stay on the campaign trail, and add to her stump speech that Obama is "pallin' around with doctors who would rather let their patients die, then allow them the freedom of choosing their own, private healthcare plan."

More as this story develops ...

Bonus Links

Everything He Learned?

That One!

Alaskan Lie

Yes, Virginia, There Is A Real Virginia ...

For Joe The Plumber

Good Post Alert: Esquire Endorses America, 2008

Just in case you missed the wall-to-wall coverage on cable news, or haven't been out surfing the World Wide Web in awhile, Esquire Magazine is riding to your rescue.

Esquire Endorses America, 2008

Whether you think this election is a "change" election or not, one thing is for sure: it is an epic fight for the future of our country. 482 races. 482 decisions. Here, we make a choice in every race. Now it's up to you.

Yes, it all there, and quite humorous, and with a sharp eye, in many of their descriptions.

Naturally, they go with endorsing Barack Obama for President, noting, pointedly, "We thought this election would be a serious fight over the future of this country, but only one candidate showed up."

There's all the Congressional and Senate races to go through, as well.

And, then, there's the fun.

The 10 Worst Members of Congress

We'll only give you the Top 3 here, to give you a feel for how it goes.

Senator Joe Lieberman (I), Connecticut

Inherent in politics is the fact that someone always loses. Some lose gracefully, some lose poorly, and, as in the case of Joe Lieberman, some lose their minds. Since being defeated by an antiwar candidate in the Democratic primary in 2006, Lieberman (who was subsequently reelected as an Independent) has pursued his campaign of revenge against his former party, thinly disguised as an act of principle, replete with the quavering sanctimony that no country should have to put up with from anyone, much less from this small man.

Senator Saxby Chambliss (R), Georgia

Chambliss is a senator today by sole virtue of the fact that in 2002 he attacked incumbent Max Cleland -- who lost both legs and an arm in Vietnam and earned Silver and Bronze stars -- as soft on defense and lacking in patriotism. Where was ol' Saxby during the war? Home, of course, claiming a "football injury." How you get elected reflects your character, and Chambliss should never be allowed to live down the shame of what he did in 2002. Never.

And, not surprising, the third worst member of Congress happens to be our Ignorant-Dolt-of-the-Week.

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R), Minnesota

One gets the impression that if, in the name of "traditional values," Bachmann could rescind the vote for women, she would. Her vacant, wild eyes recall a doomsday prophet, or one of Charlie Manson's girls. Equal parts religious hack and party hack, she's got spunk and not much else.

H/T to Bob Geiger, who wrote a good post on it, as well.

Check out Esquire Endorses America, 2008

For Joe The Plumber

His 15-minutes ...

Barack Obama And The Plumbing Business Owner

His 16th-minute, ad nauseum ...

Joe the Plumber Reacts to debate - Katie Couric Interview

Bonus Links

The Jed Report: McCain's Lame October Surprise: Joe, The Right-Wing Loon

Think Progress: Fact-Checking ‘Joe The Plumber’

A.J. Liebling: No Mo-Joe for McCain

BooMan: McCain Took an Ass-Whooping

SilentPatriot: Obama to McCain: "Your attacks say more about your campaign than they do about me"

Thers: The Plumber?

Debate Results: Flintstones vs. Jetsons Pt. III

That One!

Well, we have another debate this evening, the last of this long presidential primary and campaign season (I believe it is around 41 debates, total, that we have had to endure).

Being that Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain is in this one, speaking publically, we remind you to clean, oil and test out your "My Friends" counter.

He's down, and free-falling in the polls, so it could be a blizzard of "My Friends" tonight.

Also, there will be held breath and anxious nerves, awaiting to see, as the minutes click off, if the debunked Maverick
employs "That One" again.

It still has gone unexplained by the Dead Campaign Express what caused The Donut Man to refer to Barack Obama as "That One".

Had he, earlier in the day, perhaps attempting to take a nap, have the television on and "That Girl" came on?

Maybe the movie "That Touch of Mink", or "That Darned Cat".

Or, he was thinking about the old, Brasilian lover, "That Naughty Girl", remembering the steamy times and complimenting her on "That Thing You Do".

There is the chance that he was just trying to bring back "That Old Feeling".

Or, he wanted to be hip, a bit of a smart-ass, and meant to say "That Darn Punk".

If he wants to keep the vibe of his campaign for the last week, or so, he can tag Obama with things like "That Awful Brother", "That City Feller", "That Soul Thing", and really toss one out to the base, with "That Minstrel Man".

He can follow-up on Jeffrey M Frederick, the Virginia GOP chief, and ask Obama "That Burning Question" about "That Mysterious Fez".

Perhaps he'll throw a shot out at Obama's campaign staff with a "That Gang of Hoodlums".

But, most likely, the debate will end with "That Sinking Feeling" and McKKKain, Mommy Moose and the Dead Campaign Express won't escape the label of just continuing ""That Yin Yang Thing".

In that case, we can expect some new stunt, and you can employ the nifty chart Nate Silver made up for just THAT happening.

Day Three of McKKKain Respecting Obama

Gesh ... What does he do if he was really going heartlessly, deep-in-the-gutter, mean-spirited, nasty?

Karen Timulty, of Time Magazine, reporting;

In Battleground Virginia, a Tale of Two Ground Games

With so much at stake, and time running short, Frederick did not feel he had the luxury of subtlety. He climbed atop a folding chair to give 30 campaign volunteers who were about to go canvassing door to door their talking points — for instance, the connection between Barack Obama and Osama bin Laden: "Both have friends that bombed the Pentagon," he said. "That is scary." It is also not exactly true — though that distorted reference to Obama's controversial association with William Ayers, a former 60s radical, was enough to get the volunteers stoked. "And he won't salute the flag," one woman added, repeating another myth about Obama. She was quickly topped by a man who called out, "We don't even know where Senator Obama was really born." Actually, we do; it's Hawaii.

The "Frederick" she references is the head of the GOP in the Commonwealth of Virginia, Virginia state GOP chairman Jeffrey M Frederick.

Nice pep talk, heh?

But wait, there's more!

Given the opportunity to show how he respects Obama, as he indicated the other day, however, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain played dumb, when appearing on a local television program there, in Virginia;

McCain Declines To Condemn Virginia Republican's Comparison Of Obama And Osama

QUESTION: The chair of the Republican Party in Virginia has said, quote, in Time magazine, "both Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden have friends that have bombed the Pentagon. That is scary." Is that appropriate for a state party chair to be saying?

MCCAIN: "I have to look at the context of his remarks. I have always repudiated any comments that have been made that were inappropriate about Senator Obama. The fact is that William Ayers was a terrorist and bomber and unrepentant. I don't care about that. But Senator Obama ought be the candid and truthful about his relationship with Mr. Ayers in whose living room Senator Obama launched his campaign and Senator Obama said he was just a guy in the neighborhood."

Gee, he really needs to "look at the context" to make an evaluation if that was a blatantly ugly smear?

Just some, good ol McKKKain-type straight talk, my friends...

That's some respect you can believe in, I guess.


Bonus McKKain See-Hear-and-Speak-A-Lot-of-Evil Riffs

John Aravosis (DC): McCain refuses to repudiate, and appears to defend, comments linking Obama to Osama bin Laden

Teddy Partridge: Virginia GOP Chair Draws Explicit Obama Terror Links for McCain Volunteers

John Cole: And the Loch Ness Monster Is a Liberal Plot

Steve Benen: OCCASIONAL NUTS...

Lowell at Raising Kane: McCain says he needs more "context" on Jeff Frederick's vicious smears and lies

"No Ma'am ... No ... I Can't Give You A Racist Pamphlet Right Now"

Well, At Least They Didn't Use His Middle Name Today