Top Ten Cloves: Things About If John McCain and Sarah Palin Discovered America

News Item: Columbus Day Holiday

10. Selection of unknown, and inexperienced, First Mate Sarah Palin would have rippled through Spain

9. Name of Ships - Straight Ship Express, Country First and Maverick (And, he had, at least four other ships)

8. McCain would have been criticized by other navigators and explorers as too old to be making expedition

7. First bit of a little rough seas, McCain would "suspend" the voyage (but not really)

6. McCain's special advisor for voyage, Phil Gramm, causes a stir, calling ship's crew a bunch of whiners

5. Weeks lost at sea due to following coordinates for legendary "The Bridge To Nowhere"

4. Cindy McCain (her family money funded McCain's voyages) irritating ship's cook, stealing his recipes and claiming them as her own

3. Hanoi Hilton didn't exist yet, so, no POW-POW-POW stories for McCain

2. Palin, and husband Todd, cause controversy the entire voyage, incessantly trying to get ship's Master-at-Arms fired

1. Native Americans would be known as today, Native MyFriends