Top Ten Cloves: What Was In Letter Iranian President Ahmadinejad Sent To President Bush

News Item: Iran's Leader Writes to President Bush

10. Wanted the inside scoop on Patrick Kennedy; Confided he’s dealing with an Ayatollah who had a similar accident

9. Said he had some Iranian operative in the U.S. and that they could “take care of the Colbert guy” if Bush wanted

8. Thought Bush’s flight suit was “pretty snazzy” and wanted to find out where he could get one just like it

7. Advised, unless Bush’s poll numbers rose, would drop the “Great” from title and just refer to him as “Satan”

6. Looking to score some good Washington Nationals tickets

5. In exchange for seeing “the really good stuff” at Area 51, will give up his claims that the Holocaust a "hoax"

4. Gave Bush a “Heads-Up” – Said the Iranians are going to start singing American National Anthem in Arabic

3. Looking to see how the Bush Administration is going to spin Iran being behind Sept 11^th, so he can leverage it on his end

2. Advised Bush that retired Iranian Generals are grumbling about Rumsfeld and urged the President to fire him

1. Ahmadinejad said he’s written a children’s book, about a goat, and asked the President for a testimonial