Top Ten Cloves: How The White House Is Coaching General Hayden For Confirmation To Head CIA

News Item: General Formally Named to Lead CIA

10. Discreetly let committee members know he has wiretaps on all of them

9. Making sure he knows the 4th Amendment backwards and forwards

8. Get Chief of Staff Josh Bolten’s friend Bo Derek on list to testify, to distract committee members

7. Assuming he doesn’t get indicted, have Karl Rove ready some choice smears for all the committee members

6. Have Senate Leader Bill Frist soften up committee members by passing out some of those $100 Gas Rebate Checks

5. Keep him away from any baseball analogies

4. Get him booked on Fox News programs in the days leading up to the hearings

3. Making sure he works "President Bush has a clear strategy for victory in Iraq" into his answers as often as possible

2. President Bush will personally tutor Hayden on how to be a “Decider”

1. Making sure he buys into outing any agents who criticize the President’s policies