Retro Garlic: "Tell Me Reverend, How Much Is It For A Massage and Redemption?"

Our favorite pill-popping, massage-loving Reverend is back in the news today.

Tim Haggard, last, of the Dobson Gang, and escort Mike Jones' most (at least publicly out there) famous client, is leaving the New Life Church.

And it sounds like he is being booting out, possibly falling off the heterosexuality wagon again.

From the Colorado Confidential;

"In January 2007, Ted Haggard voluntarily agreed to enter a process of spiritual restoration. He has selected Phoenix First Assembly and Pastor Tommy Barnett as his local church fellowship and is maintaining an accountability relationship there. He has recently requested to end his official relationship with the New Life Church Restoration Team and this has been accepted by them.

New Life Church recognizes the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete and maintains its original stance that he should not return to vocational ministry. However, we wish him and his family only success in the future.

Because spiritual restoration is a necessarily confidential process, the church does not anticipate that it, or its Overseers or Restorers, will make further comment about it."

Hmmmm ....That last sentence, how Cheneyesque of them ...

Pam, over on Pam's House Blend, in her "Haggard quits pray-away-the-gay program" (definitely in the running for a "Headline-of-the-day" award) speculates we may never know;

"What, if anything do you think Ted Haggard will say publicly about his experience? Certainly if the evangelical former pastor has not truly reclaimed his heterosexuality after the very strict re-programming, it would be a serious blow to the ex-gay industry if he were to come forward and say that he now realizes that his same-sex desires are neither evil or wrong and that these cures have nothing to do with getting right with God."

Though, a commenter to Pam's post may have hit the bullseye, so to speak;

"Ted Haggard was paid his salary for a year only if he was in this restoration program. Once the pay ran out he quit. No surprise there. He probably recognizes the program for the BS that it is."

Oh, the Retro part ...

The Garlic had two scoops on the Reverend with the special touch ...

Top Ten Cloves: Ways James Dobson Will Cure Ted Haggard And Offer "Spiritual Restoration"

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Reverend Ralph Verified Tim Haggard Was "Completely Heterosexual"