Developing Story: Iraqis Fume, Charge Bush With ‘Cutting and Standing”

Bush Promise To Hurricane Victims Inflames Iraqis; May Sue In World Court

Fear Unfinished Job; Maliki Says “He Was Here First” and “He Can’t Stand In Two Places”

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki delivered a blistering criticism of President George Bush late yesterday, charging that Bush, and the United States is “cutting and standing”, and all but abandoning their commitment to “finishing the job here in Iraq.

Maliki believes, as do a significant number of other Iraqis, that President Bush’s pledge yesterday, to hurricane victims in the Gulf Region and New Orleans, that "This anniversary is not an end. And so I come back to say that we will stand with the people of southern Louisiana and southern Mississippi until the job is done," is a clear-cut case that Bush is giving up on Iraq.

“He was here first,” blasted Maliki, “over two-years before that hurricane hit and did more damage to our country than what one-hundred hurricanes could do ... He had us vote and paint our fingers ... He wants us to denounce some of our neighbors and praise others ... Now all Bush wants to do is cut-and-stand ...”

Maliki Says He Has Documentation To Enforce Oral Contract Bush Made

“Well,” continued the inflamed Iraqi Prime Minister, “he can’t stand in two places at once... He’s going to have to stick to his commitment to me and the Iraqi people, above and before all others.”

Maliki, after his speech, indicated that he will consult with the Iraqi government on whether or not to file suit in the Iraq court system, or, possibly, the World Court, against President Bush and seeking holding Bush to his “often-stated” oral contract.”

“We have mountains of documents, news clippings and, with thanks to Senator Bill Frist, a vast videotape collection, of President Bush, repeatedly, stating his commitment to Iraq, promising to “stay until the job is done”. He can’t just waltz away from that now and go finish some other job. By the look of his administration, it appears they like to start jobs but not finish them.”

“Look what he did,” a still agitated Maliki fumed in the halls outside of the Iraqi Parliament. “Bush invades our country and while he’s still waging his war here in Iraq, he goes out and starts another one,” referring to the War On Hurricanes that Bush announced after Hurricane Katrina struck and reaffirmed his commitment to on Monday.

“What’s he calling the hurricanes now,” mocked Maliki, “Meteorological-Fascists?”

Cheney (“Retreat Would Change Policies”) and Rumsfeld (Maliki “Suffering from Moral and Intellectual Confusion”) Push Back

The White House offered no immediate comment, however, Vice President Dick Cheney took issue with Maliki’s criticism.

“I realize, as well, that some in our own country claim retreat from our War On Hurricanes would satisfy the appetite of the Meteorological-Fascists and get them to leave us alone. But the exact opposite is true. Time and again over the last generation, the Meteorological-Fascists have targeted nations whose behavior they believe they can change through violence.”

“In fact,” continued the vice-president, “such a retreat would convince the Meteorological-Fascists, once again, that free nations will change our policies, forsake our friends, and abandon our interests whenever we are confronted with violence and blackmail. They would simply draw up another set of demands, and instruct Americans to act as they direct or to face other murders. A precipitous withdrawal from War On Hurricanes would be a victory for the Meteorological-Fascists, an invitation to further violence against free nations, and a ruinous blow to the future security of the United States.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was more direct, and dismissive, of Prime Minister Maliki’s tirade.

‘Goodness,” sighed Rumsfeld, “Somebody’s always yapping about something over there ... We didn’t do this, we didn’t do that ... Why doesn’t this guy get a life ...”

Rumsfeld ridiculed Maliki and lumped him in with other American officials who sought to appease the Nazis before World War II, warning that the nation is confronting "a new type of fascism." and negotiate with Adolf Hitler.

“You know,” continued the Secretary who has resisted all calls to step down, “I think the Prime Minister may be suffering from moral and intellectual confusion, just like all the others who want us to appease this new type of fascism.

"Once again, we face similar challenges in efforts to confront the rising threat of a new type of fascism," Rumsfeld said. "But some seem not to have learned history's lessons."

"Can we,” continued Rumsfeld, “truly afford to believe that, somehow or someway, Meteorological-Fascists could be appeased?"

President Bush, seen here before his speech in New Orleans, practicing imitating a hurricane, has been charged by Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki of "cutting and standing"