Top Ten Cloves: What Goes Into President Bush Giving Himself Nicknames

News Item: Lost in the Fog With Commander Guy

10. Does it to cover his tracks when leaking information to the press

9. He'd rather give himself a nickname here, then someone giving him one over there

8. Jots them down in a list and looks to see which ones will succeed and which ones won't succeed

7. Test nicknames by prank calling his secretary ... If she takes more then 10-seconds to know whose calling, it's a keeper

6. Simply his way of dealing with "Bush Fatigue"

5. Everytime he reads a book from his "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" reading list, he starts thinking of these nicknames

4. Believes, by giving himself nicknames, he's making it harder for Al Qaeda to follow him home

3. Helps in raising funds for the Bush Library, when they can say something like "The Decider" or "The Commander Guy" needs it

2. Fires a U.S. Attorney until he gets one he likes

1. Only thing Dick Cheney lets him do by himself










The Decider-Commander Guy has been known to name his policies as well. Remember his "Cowboy Diplomacy"?