Showing posts with label Blackwater USA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blackwater USA. Show all posts

Friday, June 24, 2011

Now That Would Have Been Some Marketing Meeting!

WOW!


If this marketing meeting had taken place, about the only thing that could rival it would be Lenny Bruce's "Religion Inc."


 


Seems the former Big Cheese of Al-Qaeda, Osama bin Laden, was fretting that his creation of terrorism and murder was losing its' marketing punch.


Osama wanted new name for al-Qaida to repair image

As Osama bin Laden watched his terrorist organization get picked apart, he lamented in his final writings that al-Qaida was suffering from a marketing problem. His group was killing too many Muslims and that was bad for business. The West was winning the public relations fight.


[snip]


The problem with the name al-Qaida, bin Laden wrote in a letter recovered from his compound in Pakistan, was that it lacked a religious element, something to convince Muslims worldwide that they are in a holy war with America.


Maybe something like Taifat al-Tawhed Wal-Jihad, meaning Monotheism and Jihad Group, would do the trick, he wrote. Or Jama'at I'Adat al-Khilafat al-Rashida, meaning Restoration of the Caliphate Group.


As bin Laden saw it, the problem was that the group's full name, al-Qaida al-Jihad, for The Base of Holy War, had become short-handed as simply al-Qaida. Lopping off the word "jihad," bin Laden wrote, allowed the West to "claim deceptively that they are not at war with Islam." Maybe it was time for al-Qaida to bring back its original name.


I don't know ...

Coca Cola didn't get very far with their "New Coke" efforts


Then again, how would you like to be the young ad exec handling the account?


But Wait! ... There's More!


OBL, also, was getting all Jack-Lemmon-Save-The-Tiger, bemoaning the younger generation;
In one letter sent to Zawahri within the past year or so, bin Laden said al-Qaida's image was suffering because of attacks that have killed Muslims, particularly in Iraq, officials said. In other journal entries and letters, they said, bin Laden wrote that he was frustrated that many of his trusted longtime comrades, whom he'd fought alongside in Afghanistan, had been killed or captured.


Using his courier system, bin Laden could still exercise some operational control over al-Qaida. But increasingly the men he was directing were younger and inexperienced. Frequently, the generals who had vouched for these young fighters were dead or in prison. And bin Laden, unable to leave his walled compound and with no phone or Internet access, was annoyed that he did not know so many people in his own organization.

Guess he didn't apply to be on 'Undercover Boss'.


This ranks up there, before we get too derisive, with our own government labeling the killing of innocent civilians as "collateral damage."


Cue up "Que Sera Sera" ...


 


Bonus Riffs


Spencer Ackerman: Contest: Pick al-Qaida’s New Name


Jeff Neumann: Osama Bin Laden Worried About Al Qaeda’s Image Problem


Blackwater Going All Prince On Us (But You Can Pronounce The Name)

Monday, March 30, 2009

PNAC Going All Xe On Us

Well, Well, Well ...

What to do when you get get canned by the NYT....



I guess, they figure a new coat of paint, and hanging a different shingle, is going to wipe out their miserably record of failure.

Kristol Launches Project For A New American Century 2.0: ‘The Foreign Policy Initiative’

Kristol’s new “political organization” for neoconservatives is now a reality:

A newly-formed and still obscure neo-conservative foreign policy organisation is giving some observers flashbacks to the 1990s, when its predecessor staked out the aggressively unilateralist foreign policy that came to fruition under the George W. Bush administration.

The blandly-named Foreign Policy Initiative (FPI) - the brainchild of Weekly Standard editor William Kristol, neo-conservative foreign policy guru Robert Kagan, and former Bush administration official Dan Senor - has thus far kept a low profile; its only activity to this point has been to sponsor a conference pushing for a U.S. “surge” in Afghanistan.
Or, as Matt Duss asks, in "Project For The Rehabilitation Of Neoconservatism"
What do you do if your previous organization — and the ideology behind it — has become inextricably bound in the public’s imagination to one of the worst foreign policy blunders in American history? Obviously, shut it down, and start a new organization with a new name.

At least, they kept it in English.


Bonus Little Billy Kristol's New Tree House Riffs

Spencer Ackerman: Man Of Many Names But The Motives Stay The Same

Andrew Sullivan: The Empire Slogs On

Steve Benen: Bill Kristol's Next Act

Michael Crowley: THE NEOCONS DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT...

Garlic Poll Results - Most People Think The PNAC Is ...

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?

First Rule of Neocon Club - You Do Not Talk About Neocon Club


Friday, February 13, 2009

Blackwater Going All Prince On Us (But You Can Pronounce The Name)

Who knows, if Prince (the musician) had picked out an esoteric, but pronounceable, name, how many more albums would he have sold?

And, I am quite sure the irony, of changing your company name, to that of a 1969 film of the same pronunciation, one about political murder, a government overthrown, with the rightwing across-the-board working to cover it up, is totally lost on them.

But that is exactly what Blackwater USA is doing

Meet the new company - "Xe," pronounced "zee."

From Noah Shachtman, at Wired's Danger Room;

For the last year or so, Blackwater Xe has been moving away from its core business of diplomat protection, and into -- well, just about everything else, it seems. Firm CEO Erik Prince has put together teams of spies-for-hire. The company is pushing ahead with plans to protect commercial ships, traveling through pirate-packed seas. And in case that doesn't work out, the company is making custom rifles, marketing spy blimps, assembling a fleet of light attack aicraft, and billing itself as experts in everything from cargo handling to dog training to construction management. It's even training pro athletes.
Shachtman was also a bit disappointed, that Blackwater, err, I mean Xe, didn't take his advice, as to changing their logo to his "Hello Kitty-style logos".



From USA Today's "What's in a name? Blackwater aims to bury its past with a new brand"
The company was founded in 1997 by chief executive Erik Prince and former Navy SEAL colleagues. They named it for the swampy black streams around Moyock, in northeastern North Carolina.

Wonder what the folks who run XE — "The World's Favorite Currency Site" — think about Blackwater's name change?

Xe is also the chemical symbol of Xenon, a colorless, ordorless, heavy "noble gas" used in powerful lamps.

Final note: Wikipedia tells us that "xe" is a gender-neutral pronoun, neither male nor female.
Hmmmm ... I don't know about this, we all remember the "New Coke" fiasco.

Zachary Roth, over at TPM Muckraker notes also;
They've also renamed Blackwater Lodge & Training Center, the subsidiary that does much of their controversial overseas operations. It's now the "U.S. Training Center Inc." (Which doesn't exactly mesh with "Xe," but whatever.)
And reminds us;
It's not hard to guess why Blackwater (or wait, Xe) wants to get out of the private security business. In 2007, Blackwater guards opened fire in a Baghdad square, killing 17 Iraqis. Five ex-Blackwater guards were charged with voluntary manslaughter and are awaiting trial.

And recently, thanks largely to that incident and other cases where Blackwater has been accused of using excessive force, the Iraqi government declined to renew the company's contract to operate in the country. Soon after, the State Department announced that, in any case, it wouldn't renew Blackwater's contract to operate in Iraq.
Now, I suspect all the subscriber's to Mercenary Illustrated probably have boners, a new whiff of mystique, about this, even if they do have trouble pronouncing the new name.

But I don't know ...

This may very well turn into the Military-Industrial Complex's version of "Who's On First"

Who's On First?




Bonus Blackwater, errr, Xe, Riffs

"They will have flies walking across their eyeballs"

They Another "I'm Shocked ... Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here" Moment ...

Top Ten Cloves: Ways The Iraqi Government Can Get Blackwater USA Out of The Country

All You New Iraq Diplomats, Don't Forget To Pack Your Brooms

Breaking News! Burma Junta Contracting Blackwater For Internal Security ...Could Mean Exit From Iraq For Embattled Mercenary Firm; Radio's Limbaugh Charges "Phony Monks" Stirring Up Trouble

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Christmas Around The Nation's Capital

News Item: Bush's Lame Duck Christmas Dinners: The White House Menus


10. 'Do You Hear What I Hear' ... Even on Christmas, no break from the wiretapping

9. Blackwater USA sings "Sleigh Ride" all year round

8. When John McCain sings "I'll Be Home For Christmas", he has to focus on just one of his seven homes

7. 'Silent Night' is, pretty much, the summation of Condi Rice's tenure as Secretary of State

6. Ted Stevens is afraid to sing "Deck The Halls", fearing it may bring new indictments against him

5. All the Obama Team will say is that he's 'Away In The Manger'

4. For Karl Rove, and his Legacy Project, is all about 'O Come All Ye Faithful'

3. Bob Novak's favorite Christmas tune is 'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer'

2. All of Bush's pardons to cronies are hung by the fireplace with care

1. Cheney's still making the lists, and torturing them twice


Bonus Xmas Links

Wikipedia: Christmas music

Rawlin Blake: Christmas Songs

Santa's Sing-A-Long Christmas Carols

phillyBurbs Staff: Best and worst Christmas songs

Zach Baron: Another Free iTunes Single of the Week: Stephen Colbert's "Another Christmas Song"


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Oh No, We Have To ... Another "I'm Shocked, Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here!"


As Steve Benen, over at The Carpetbagger Report asks (rhetorically) "Where does the Bush gang find these guys? Hacks ‘R Us?"


Our "Shocked, Shocked" recipient today is none other than State Department Inspector General Howard L. (Cookie) Krongard, who came oh-so-close yesterday of jumping the shark, nearly denying he even had a brother.

Actually, it ended up playing out more like the old SNL bit - "It's a floor wax and a dessert topping" - with Krongard finally fessing up that "Yes he's my brother and he's on the Blackwater board".

Appearing before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee yesterday, who is looking into Krongard's possible criminal conduct regarding - and here's the "Shocked, Shocked" part - of burying/stonewalling/looking the other way (we're flexible, you call it what you want) investigations into Blackwater, for gun smuggling and, just how they got their golden egg contracts over in Iraq.

The sibling tango began when Krongard was hit with the info, surprise, surprise, that his brother - the former CIA official Alvin B. "Buzzy" Krongard - is currently a member of the Blackwater Worldwide advisory board.

After volleying (okay squirming) denials, Krongard finally broke down into the Chinatown scene, with the committee slapping him around and Krongard blubbering yes "he's Blackwater and my brother!"

The high drama continued to play out late in the day, when Brother Buzzy told TPMmuckraker, about Brother Cookie; "I told him I was going on this board. He claims I didn't tell him," Buzzy Krongard says. "So what can I tell you?"

And lest you think Cookie chills out after hours, check out Barry Crimmins and "It's Just Krong", which details "Think of it, the Inspector General, a man who is supposed to be beyond reproach, has been caught shaking down his own children!"

Sign these guys up for a reality show, they'll make the Osbournes look like The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.

Linkfest Below

Stay tuned on this one. This could play out, in the Bush Grindhouse Hall of Fame, of polishing Michael "Heck-of-a-job" Brown's apple - at least Brownie didn't have an Inspector General brother who's about as straight as a corkscrew.

Bonus Cookie and Buzzy Links

Crooks and Liars - Countdown: Blood Is Thicker Than Blackwater

Think Progress: ‘Buzzy’ Krongard contradicts brother’s testimony.

TPMmuckraker: Krongard Recuses Himself from Blackwater Investigations

FBI Concludes Blackwater Killings Unjustified

Other "I'm Shocked, Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here" On The Garlic


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

All You New Iraq Diplomats, Don't Forget To Pack Your Brooms


We haven't followed up with the State Department on how our predictions offered last Saturday fared, but we have to add a new one today.

For all you diplomats being forced to serve over in Iraq, you're now going to have to carry some extra luggage;

Brooms
And your first duty will be to continue to sweep the Blackwater killing of 17 Iraqi citizens under the rug (and not any of those bargain ones that Lindsey Graham picked up).

Yet another sterling gem in the Bush Legacy.

It seems, by the news of the morning, the investigation into the Blackwater shooters have been stymied BECAUSE THE STATE DEPARTMENT OFFERED THEM IMMUNITY!

Holy tainted evidence, Batman!

Now, we already know that Bush's Work Wife, Condi Rice, has trouble remembering meetings... But you think, when she was before Congress last week- talking about contractors in Iraq - she could have, at least, hinted about the deal.

Why doesn't The Commander Guy just go on national television, hold up, and show the country, the "Pass Go, Collect $200 Million Dollars" card he gave Erik Prince and Blackwater and we can all get on to other business.

We joked before on how the Bush Iraq Policy was turning from Keystone Cops, to the Marx Brothers... Who Knew!

And Now We Come To The Sanity Clause

The Greek Chorus

FireDogLake: Guess Who Has Immunity Now?

Think Progress: State Dept. Granted Disgraced Blackwater Guards Immunity After Shootings

The Carpetbagger Report: Bush admin. promised immunity to Blackwater

Truthout/AP: Immunity Deal Hampers Blackwater Inquiry


Garlic Exclusive: Evidence of Bush giving Condi Rice the sweetheart kiss she was to pass on to Blackwater

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Breaking News! Burma Junta Contracting Blackwater For Internal Security


Could Mean Exit From Iraq For Embattled Mercenary Firm; Radio's Limbaugh Charges "Phony Monks" Stirring Up Trouble


On the heels of it's CEO, Erik Prince, testifying before Congress yesterday, the Myanmar Junta Leader, of the country formerly known as Burma (Ed. Note: The term Burma, following Michael Stickings of The Reaction lead, will be used by The Garlic), Senior General Than Shwe announced today that he has contracted with Blackwater USA for "internal security".

"I don't know what the Iraqi's problems are," Shwe was overheard saying, following the announcement, "We certainly don't mind if these Blackwater soldiers take out a few civilians... In fact, I am expecting such results."

The pro-democracy protest, with 10,000+ demonstrators led by the country's Buddhist Monks that began last month, has been met with brutal violence by armed forces, including the killing, caught on television, of a Japanese journalist.

In the major city of Rangoon, shots have been fired into crowds and monks beaten. Reports coming from Burma, where the military junta has shut down the internet and have curfews in place, say that thousands have been murdered, including monks, whose bodies have been dumped in the jungles.

Led by Nobel Peace Prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi, who has been under house arrest for much of the past 12-years, Burmese citizens have called on the military junta to step down, following the 1990 election, the first in nearly 30-years, that elevated the pro-democracy party of Suu Kyi to a majority position, but then was annulled by the military rulers.

Shwe junta forces are continuing their repression, even at the United Nations attempts to intervene.

Blackwater USA, coming under fire in both Iraq and the United States, issued a brief statement, indicating they were pleased to serve the Government of Myanmar and look forward to the work of bringing order to the country.

A spokesperson for Blackwater refused to answer questions if the new Burma contract meant Blackwater would be exiting Iraq.

One element of the contract was leaked to the media, showing that the Myanmar Government will have a Blackwater liaison, who will be responsible for investigating complaints and writing official reports on the results of any queries.

When asked about Blackwater now working for Burma, Homeland Security Advisor Fran Townsend referred questions about Blackwater to the State Department, but added "I didn't know there was a Burma before there was a Myanmar."

And in a related matter, radio talkshow host Rush Limbaugh, already embroiled in a heated dust-up over criticizing U.S. soldiers opposed to the Bush Grindhouse's Iraq policy, charged today that much of the unrest in Burma was being lead by "phony monks".

"These guys," chortled the rotund, drug-taking Limbaugh, "shave their heads, put on orange clothes and start prancing around and we're all supposed to think this is something sacrosanct ... Hogwash! ... Seeing some of the news footage on this, I think I recognize some of these phony monks ... They hit me up at the airport recently, asking for money, or if I wanted to take a free personality test ... Yeah, right ... I got a personality test for them ..."

When a caller later in the hour chastised Limbaugh for making fun of the Burmese Monks, Limbaugh berated the caller, saying he was only speaking about one, particular phony monk.

More as this story develops

Bonus Burma

There's a bevy of good info on-line on what's going on in Burma, and we want to take the opportunity today to point out Joe Gandelman's The Moderate Voice and their tremendous Burma posts - and in particular, the Burma posts of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Saxophonist Wayne Shorter wrote a tribute song to Aung San Suu Kyi


Tuesday, October 02, 2007

"They will have flies walking across their eyeballs"


No, the above title isn't from an upcoming Discovery Channel program, nor is it booming out of a trailer of bloody, gore-filled scenes of a Quentin Tarantino-Robert Rodriguez movie.


It is from J. Cofer Black, former CIA veteran and now vice chairman of Blackwater USA, allegedly describing to President Bush the outcome of invading Afghanistan after September 11th, from one of a trio of articles in Salon today.

Boy, I'll bet that phrase gives the Neocons - Norman Podhoretz, Jonah Goldberg, Little Billy Kristol, and, heck, even Vice President Dick Cheney - raging hard-ons.

And what a missed opportunity to aid the Army in meeting their recruiting goals.

Just think, they could have replaced the iconic "Uncle Sam Wants You" posters, with much more graphic, horrific depictions, of dead terrorists lying in the desert, a close-up of one (so you can see the flies walking across their eyeballs), and more littered in the distance.

A wave of Army recruiters, sitting in the living rooms across Nowheresville, USA, going through their pitch, about the benefits, the call-to-duty, serving your country, and building up to the chest-thumping, lump-in-the-throat clincher, how you, little John Doe recruit, will see the blazing day of righteous victory when you watch the flies walking across their eyeballs (Far-Fetched? It seems quite clear The Commander Guy bought it).

Perhaps the CIA could have had one of their deep-cover, front companies put out a video game, a war video game, where, for all the terrorists you kill, you earn the flies that you will gleefully (and, if you have Neocon tendencies, with hard-on) place on their eyeballs (which the above-referenced Army Recruiter gives a copy to the little John Doe recruits, as a "gift")

Instead of telling us to "go shopping" The Commander Guy could have rallied the country around the collection of flies.

"No flies on his head" would become a jingoistic talking point, rather then a derisive put-down.

Instead of waterboarding, we'd be talking about "flyboarding".

The Republicans could have, instead of taunting their counterparts in Congress with "Defeatocrats" and "Cut and Run", could have, with veins popping on their foreheads, voices coursed from passion, saying the Democrats want to "protect the flies" ... "Fly Appeasers" and the like.

Who knows the impact this would have had, if the military dropped leaflets, that new "Flies-Walking-Across-Eyeballs" recruiting poster sketch, that maybe the insurgents, terrorists, Al Qaeda in Iraq, even those infamous "dead-enders" would have paled at such a thought and immediately thrown down their arms ... Heck, they may even would have been at the head-of-the-list on planning the "Liberation Parades" throughout Baghdad.

L. Paul Bremmer, and The Commander Guy, wouldn't have had to dismantle the Iraqi Army.

The donations to the Bush Library, or the Freedom Institute, would be flooding in at record pace

The references to his presidency wouldn't hover around Hoover, but, rather, resplendently ride next Roosevelt.

Bush would become "Lord of the Flies", the de facto leader of the Neocon tribe.

Hmmm ... Wait a minute ... None of that is even close, and he's already become something like that ....

Never Mind ...

The Salon Blackwater Trio Links

Ben Van Heuvelen: The Bush administration's ties to Blackwater; Blamed in the deaths of Iraqi civilians, the private security firm has long ties to the White House and prominent Republicans, including Ken Starr.

P.W. Singer: The dark truth about Blackwater; Outsourcing the war to private military contractors such as Blackwater has shattered the United States' moral authority and its ability to win the nation's wars -- including Iraq.

Blackwater by the numbers; A congressional memo looks into the private security contractor's activities in Iraq, the State Department's responses and taxpayer costs.



Monday, October 01, 2007

Another "I'm Shocked ... Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here" Moment ...


Another "I'm Shocked ... Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here" Moment ...


Josh Marshall, over on TPM, has a winner today ...

And yes, another shining moment for the Bush Grindhouse...

I could lay down a quote from it, but it plays much, much better if you read it yourselves ...

Have at it!

Parody Surge Hits Mil Contractors in Iraq

I wonder if John Boehner and the Republican Minority will draft another measure, banning criticism of the Bush crony contractors... It may be the only fitting shoe to drop on this ...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Ways The Iraqi Government Can Get Blackwater USA Out of The Country


News Item: Iraqis Order Blackwater out of Iraq -- But Will It Leave?


10. Have them reassigned to Britney Spears

9. Let them stay, but downgrade them to details of just the dog-and-pony, Congressional delegation, shows

8. Announce new mandatory screening of all security personnel for prostrate cancer

7. It might cost a little extra, but see if the sheiks and clerics from Anbar are up for another task

6. President Bush, to save face, can get them to leave by just giving them all really nice, embossed Return On Success certificates

5. Charge that they were in the hotel room with O.J. Simpson

4. The one, sure way; Lobby President Bush to tell Blackwater that they're doing "A heckuva job"

3. Bring accusation that all Blackwater people were tapping there feet and waving their hands under stalls in latrines

2. Take a page from Operation Just Cause and start blasting the same music that drove Noriega out of Panama

1. Call in the University of Florida Campus Police


Bonus Blackwater USA Links

TruthOut: Blackwater Heavies Sue Families of Slain Employees for $10 Million in Brutal Attempt to Suppress Their Story

The Nation/Jeremy Scahill: Bush's Shadow Army

TruthOut: Phantom Army