Breaking! ... Groundhog Sees Palin's Shadow, Predicts Winter Through 2012

The first signs of something gone awry came on Punxsutawney Phil's new Twitter account;

Eek! A horrifying shadow!

Stunning his handlers, from the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, as well as tens-of-thousands of fans and spectators who make the pilgrimage to this tiny Pennsylvania berg, the infamous prognosticating groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, saw the shadow of the abdicating, half-term former Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, which spelled out we are in for winter, extending through 2012.



"This is terrible, just terrible," offered club president Bill Deeley, adding "we've never had anything like this happen before."

Reports indicate that other club members, as well as an untold number in the crowd, closest to Punxsutawney Phil , apparently also saw, what appeared to be, the likeness of Palin.

Deeley went on to say that "I hope this isn't that O'Keefe kid, or one of his friends, trying to pull a stunt... Or that Andrew Breitbrat guy, sending someone here ..."

William Kristol, the person who first promoted last years' losing Vice Presidential candidate, thought "it would wonderful for the groundhog to see Sarah Palin."

"Maybe, the day after she gets elected President, in 2012, the sun will come out."

A spokesperson for the National Weather Service declined comment, stating, "We need to look at this more closely."



At the White House, a team of both administration personnel, as well as scientists, were abruptly dispatched to Punxsutawney, to investigate the claim further.

Peter Orszag, the President Obama's Director of the Office of Management and Budget was devastated by the news.

"We just released our budget and, now, that's all out the window."

Orszag indicated that most of the budget will have to recalculated, to take into account the loss of crops, and jobs, from the extended period of cold, snow, and ice, as well as the potential for catastrophic healthcare needs.

"We're talking about almost two-years of being in a deep freeze ... That's unprecidented, no government in our history has had to contend with something like this."

Palin, an undeclared candidate for President in 2012, and, under fire for using PAC money to make bulk purchases of her own book, said, through a spokesperson, that she welcomes the news.

"Snow and cold, youbetcha ... That be some good huntin' and dogsleddin' weather."

The Palin spokesperson added that "the governor was, no way, near Punxsutawney today", and immediately cast suspicion, blaming the prolonged winter, on White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.


Bonus Punxsutawney Phil Riffs

Ker Than - Groundhog Day & Punxsutawney Phil: Facts Behind Forecast

Chris Gaylord: Groundhog Day: PETA wants to replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robot

Altoona Mirror Editorial: Hey, PETA: Don’t bother Punxsy Phil





Bonus Bonus: Punxsutawney Phil On The Garlic

Groundhog Lied; Investigation Launched

Breaking News! ... Bush Administration To Tap Punxsutawney Phil To Bolster Foreign Policy ...Gobbler's Knob Appearance Tomorrow Will Be Last For Famous Prognosticator

More Discord In The White House ...White House At Odds With Groundhog Hire, Handlers Over Cheney Shooting ...Bush Said To Be "Livid, As Famous Prognosticator 'Never Tipped Us Off"; UK's Blair Said To Be Frantic For Direction

Breaking News! Bush Sees Shadow; Another Year of Lawbreaking Predicted ...Oval Office Event Draws Thousands; Top Hat and Tails, and an Outcome "Just Like The Movie"

Breaking News! Groundhog Sees Obama's Shadow

Daddy's Little Girl Launching PNAC-Lite

Oh boy, just what we need.

A new NeoNitwit outfit

From The Politico this morning;

Liz Cheney's group 'Keep America Safe' takes on 'radical' White House

Former Vice President Dick Cheney’s eldest daughter Liz will launch a new group aimed at rallying opposition to the “radical” foreign policy of the Obama administration which it says has succeeded only in undermining the nation’s security.

The new group, Keep America Safe, will make the case against President Barack Obama’s moves to wrench America away from Bush era foreign policy on issues from detaining alleged terrorists at Guantanamo Bay to building a missile shield in Eastern Europe.

[snip]

The new group will add institutional heft to a scathing critique of Obama articulated first and loudest by Liz Cheney’s father, and fills a void left by a Republican Party made skittish by the Iraq War, and apparently more eager to engage the president on domestic issues like health care.

[snip]

Keep America Safe will focus on issues like troop levels, missile defense, detainees, and interrogation, according to Liz Cheney, who is heading the group along with Weekly Standard editor William Kristol and Debra Burlingame, the hawkish sister of an American Airlines pilot killed in the September 11 attacks.

Little Billy Kristol?

I suppose, with the record of eight-failed-years, he can't keep running the same failed PNAC cow chips (tell us again, Billy, how'd that "Greet us as Liberators" thing work out?)

So, they repackage it, and get the former Shadow President's daughter to carry the banner.

Steve Benen also sees disaster written all over this;

The truth is, Cheney/Kristol had their day. They got to do exactly what they wanted to do -- torture, preemptive war, abandoning the rule of law, abandoning democratic norms, alienating allies, ignoring the concept of international cooperation -- and they failed anyway.

[snip]

Liz Cheney and Bill Kristol have become clownish figures, so blinded by their ideology that they can't even see the dangerous ineptitude of their agenda. I don't doubt that wealthy right-wing financiers will be delighted to throw some checks at "Keep America Safe." Likewise, I can only assume that news outlets will continue to pretend that Cheney has some shred of credibility on these issues, and will have her on national television every day for the next year.

But that doesn't make this endeavor any less ridiculous.

They already have The Politico, Matt Sludge, and other Flying Monkey perches lined up to promote their drivel (which means our mainstream corporate media will instantly pick up, and run with their ball), and, no doubt, Faux News will be in the bag.

Hmmm ...

But maybe it's all just a front.

On her website, we have this, right at the top of the home page, under "Featured Resources";

Seven former CIA chiefs asked President Obama to halt the CIA investigation that damages our national security and the personal security of CIA agents. Click here to read their plea now!

I suppose they couldn't call it "Keep Daddy Out of Jail", now could they?

Irving Kristol, Godfather of Nepotism

I suppose that Irving Kristol cashing out during the Obama Presidency was just bad timing.

Had he passed during The Bush Grindhouse days, where they adopted the Neonitwism Papa Kristol drew up (expanded and bastardized by his son, Little Billy Kristol), they likely would have given him a State Funeral, complete with a 21-Country Invasion-and-Occupation salute.



Papa Kristol died last Friday, and you could have found numerous posts heralding him as a "thinker", and "intellectual".

Perhaps, or just he created the space, with a few tablets from the mountains, that spawned the Right Wing Freak Show, giving birth to the Flying Monkeys of today.

Then, again, reading Steve Clemons' "Irving Kristol Dies: How Will the Neocon Church Now Divide?" has me thinking that, forget neoconservatism, Papa Kristol was the Mother Monster of ''Alien', as he writes about Neoconservative scholar and author Francis Fukuyama, who he says learned "at the knee of Irving Kristol" but was embroiled in a food fight with the newer, younger neonitwits, like Charles Krauthammer.

Fukuyama said, as I recall, that he didn't need lessons from Krauthammer on what neoconservatism was all about. In fact, Fukuyama felt that what Krauthammer and some others were writing and speaking about Iraq contradicted neoconservative perspectives. He said that he and other neocons used to criticize government's hubris for thinking it could change school test scores in Anacostia -- and now some of these same people were arguing that America could easily generate social outcomes in Baghdad.

In other words, Fukuyama was intimating that the Iraq escapade was a violation of everything Irving Kristol taught him and stood for.

This vignette is important because I think that a number of leading neoconservatives -- including Fukuyama and David Frum as well as others like Kenneth Adelman -- never really left neoconservatism as much as the modern variant left them.

This leads me to suspect that in the wake of Irving Kristol's passing, there may be an effort to redefine an alternative version of neoconservative thinking and perspective than that which Bill Kristol and his close ally, Robert Kagan, have fashioned.

The church split with Fukuyama, but the neoconservative church may split yet again, and again.

What, Kristol's death is just going to give us a parade of bigger, louder, more dangerous, neonitwits?

And, leave it to The Washington Post to offer in its' tribute, Turd Blossom as the first voice they quote;

Karl Rove, a Republican strategist who advised President George W. Bush, called Mr. Kristol an "intellectual entrepreneur who helped energize several generations of public policy thinkers."

Through editing, writing and speaking, Mr. Kristol "made it a moral imperative to rouse conservatism from mainstream Chamber of Commerce boosterism to a deep immersion in ideas," Rove said. He also said that Mr. Kristol helped create a synthesis of Cold War Democrats and Ronald Reagan White House anticommunist hawks that influenced foreign and military policy in the 1980s.

"Influenced foreign and military policy?"

How's about hijacking it, stealing an election and installing The Commander Guy and his Shadow President to bring to life all the neonitwit wet dreams of invasion and occupation, illegal spying and wiretapping, and, of course, boner-inducing torture.

Neocirclejerks, is what they should be labeled.

The gem of remembrances, though, comes from TBogg, over on Firedoglake, tagging a piece by Paul Campos, of the Rocky Mountain News, back in January;

I once heard a recording of a BBC broadcast announcing the birth of Queen Elizabeth II of England's son. The announcer intoned, "Her Majesty has given birth to . . . a prince."

This struck me as a particularly stark illustration of how one's place in the world can be determined by the accident of birth. At least, I thought, I live in a country where it's never announced that someone has given birth to an electrical engineer or a pastry chef or an under secretary for East Asian affairs.

[snip]

On the other hand, you have the career of William Kristol. Kristol, the son of neo-conservative doyen Irving Kristol, was just fired by The New York Times, for which he had been cranking out an opinion column since last January (technically, his contract wasn't renewed).

A few months ago, my blogging colleague Robert Farley pointed out that "in the modern configuration of the conservative media machine, Kristol occupies an unparalleled central position of power . . . Right-wing journalism and punditry is absurdly nepotistic; everything depends on relationships, (and) Kristol always seems to be" at the center of these relationships.

[snip]

Which brings me to this charming vignette, courtesy of blog commenter Harry Hopkins:

"I remember back in the late 1990s, when Ira Katznelson, an eminent political scientist at Columbia, came to deliver a guest lecture. Prof. Katznelson described a lunch he had with Irving Kristol during the first Bush administration.

"The talk turned to William Kristol, then Dan Quayle's chief of staff, and how he got his start in politics. Irving recalled how he talked to his friend Harvey Mansfield at Harvard, who secured William a place there as both an undergrad and graduate student; how he talked to Pat Moynihan, then Nixon's domestic policy adviser, and got William an internship at the White House; how he talked to friends at the RNC [Republican National Committee] and secured a job for William after he got his Harvard Ph.D.; and how he arranged with still more friends for William to teach at Penn and the Kennedy School of Government.

"With that, Prof. Katznelson recalled, he then asked Irving what he thought of affirmative action. 'I oppose it,' Irving replied. 'It subverts meritocracy.' "

Who knew he was a Guinness commercial in-waiting!

"Neoconservatism" was just a new label for nepotism?

Brilliant!


Bonus Papa Kristol Dirt Nap Riffs

Wonkette: Irving Kristol Dies

PBS: From Memoirs of a Trotskyist by Irving Kristol

Bruce Bartlett: Remembering Irving Kristol

Michael J.W. Stickings: Irving Kristol (1920-2009)

PNAC Going All Xe On Us

Well, Well, Well ...

What to do when you get get canned by the NYT....



I guess, they figure a new coat of paint, and hanging a different shingle, is going to wipe out their miserably record of failure.

Kristol Launches Project For A New American Century 2.0: ‘The Foreign Policy Initiative’

Kristol’s new “political organization” for neoconservatives is now a reality:

A newly-formed and still obscure neo-conservative foreign policy organisation is giving some observers flashbacks to the 1990s, when its predecessor staked out the aggressively unilateralist foreign policy that came to fruition under the George W. Bush administration.

The blandly-named Foreign Policy Initiative (FPI) - the brainchild of Weekly Standard editor William Kristol, neo-conservative foreign policy guru Robert Kagan, and former Bush administration official Dan Senor - has thus far kept a low profile; its only activity to this point has been to sponsor a conference pushing for a U.S. “surge” in Afghanistan.

Or, as Matt Duss asks, in "Project For The Rehabilitation Of Neoconservatism"

What do you do if your previous organization — and the ideology behind it — has become inextricably bound in the public’s imagination to one of the worst foreign policy blunders in American history? Obviously, shut it down, and start a new organization with a new name.

At least, they kept it in English.


Bonus Little Billy Kristol's New Tree House Riffs

Spencer Ackerman: Man Of Many Names But The Motives Stay The Same

Andrew Sullivan: The Empire Slogs On

Steve Benen: Bill Kristol's Next Act

Michael Crowley: THE NEOCONS DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT...

Garlic Poll Results - Most People Think The PNAC Is ...

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?

First Rule of Neocon Club - You Do Not Talk About Neocon Club

Yes, Virginia, Even A Stopped Clock Is More Accurate Than Little Billy Kristol

We couldn't stay on the DL, anchoring the sofa, in a wave of wonderful power naps, without jumping in on this one.

It came down today, that the New York Times was ending their subsidy of The Weekly Standard, gainfully, if not painfully, employing their editor, William "Little Billy" Kristol, for the past year, to promulgate the propaganda of The Weekly Standard, on the Op-Ed pages of the aforementioned, New York Times.

Funny, they never did alter their motto, to "All The Bullshit Fit To Print".



The running thread that kept popping up today, as Attaturk noted, on Firedoglake, in his post And how’d that work out for you?;

The most significant and intelligent part of Bill Kristol's column in the New York Times wasn't written by him.

This is William Kristol’s last column.

Well, his last column in the NYT, as Think Progress (and others) are reporting that The Washington Post will pick up on the journalistic bailout, having Little Billy on their pages, on monthly basis.

I guess they don't mind that Time Magazine, and now the NYT, have given him his pink slip.

Kristol was one of the Right Wing Freak Show's loudest cheerleaders for The Bush Grindhouse, and their invasion and occupation of Iraq, and, using his sterling judgment, backstopped and waved the pom poms for The Wasilla Whiz Kid, ushering her into the Dead Campaign Express.

Yes, Virginia, Even A Stopped Clock Is More Accurate Than Little Billy Kristol ...

It's one thing, tossing off scraps for the Flying Monkeys, they eat up everything, especially the false and untrue, like happy soup.

But he was now tied to the strings of the Grey Lady's dress, and the errors kept coming, and coming, and coming, earning them headlines, such as "The NYT's latest Kristol embarrassment.

Jesus, he even took to dissing the NYT, while he was getting a paycheck from them!

As Steve Clemmons rhetorically asked; "Why are any of the majors publishing Kristol on a continuous basis when he has his perch at the Weekly Standard?"

Why, indeed ...

In the end, at just about the year anniversary, it was the shoddy writing that brought about the final drips of his gravy train

The ever-sharp cracker jack, Scott Horton, whose articled was prefaced with"...Scott Horton, who broke news on Kristol's involvement in the selection of Sarah Palin, reports on real reasons the Gray Lady didn't renew his contract", has the scoop;

The New York Times’ decision not to renew Bill Kristol’s opinion column was because of the conservative writer’s sloppiness and uneven quality, according to a reliable source with first-hand knowledge of the decision. Today, the Times features a signature Kristol piece, discussing the heroic role of conservatism in modern American history and contrasting this with the fecklessness of American liberals. But only the last line is newsworthy: “This is William Kristol’s last column.”

The problems that emerged were more fundamental. Kristol’s writing wasn’t compelling or even very careful. He either lacked a talent for solid opinion journalism or wasn’t putting his heart into it. A give-away came in the form of four corrections the newspaper was forced to run over factual mistakes in the columns, creating an impression that they were rushed out without due diligence or attention to factual claims. A senior writer at Time magazine recounted to me a similar experience with Kristol following his stint in 2006-07. “His conservative ideas were cutting edge and influential,” I was told. “But his sloppy writing and failure to fact check what he wrote made us queasy.”

Notice how, when talking about Kristol, and his writing, the word "sloppy" keeps jumping up?

Go check out Greg Mitchell, over on Editors & Publishers, and his Kristol Bawl: An 'Appreciation' As Column Ends at 'NYT', which details the errors - "He gave us many belly laughs, several glaring errors to point out, some choice takedowns by Jon Stewart -- and Sarah Palin, who doomed McCain."

Now, Little Billy Kristol gets to "doom" The Washington Post.

We'll give Robert Stein, from Connecting The Dots, the last word on that;

It's fitting for Kristol to go out on a high note of error. klutzy writing and self-delusion, but apparently the market for his kind of babbling is not entirely dead. He came to the Times after a stint with Time, and now there are reports that the Washington Post, apparently suffering from a lack of wrong-headedness not completely satisfied by Charles Krauthammer and Michael Gerson, will avail themselves of Kristol's wisdom occasionally.

We can hardly wait for that fun to begin


Little Billy Kristol's Greatest Garlic Hits!

It Takes A Neocon To Raise A Legacy ... They're Drinking The Kool-Aid Again ...

Of Legacy Maintenance - And Corrections! ... David Corn's "REBUTTAL - Why Bush Is A Loser"

Yes, Virginia, There Is, Sadly, A William Kristol ...

Yes, Virginia, Even Sadder, Little Billy Kristol Is Going To The NYT

They Call Me "Mister Glass"

Our Ignorant Dolt of the Week ... Little Billy Kristol!

Well, once again, it certainly was a tough week on the IDOTW front.

Not, necessarily, due to the absence of some fine candidates, however, with the Bird Day Holiday, a rather slow news week.

Unless, of course, you happened to be vacationing at the the Taj Hotel, in Mumbai (and we may yet to find out, the demands of the terrorists were merely to go back to calling the city Bombay).

Ahhh, so who stepped up to the Idiot Dolt bar ...

Robert Rubin, the Citigroup big cheese, certainly gets an honorable mention.

His "Hey, I didn't do it ... Not my fault" probably, in any other week, could have captured the prize.

But no, today in fact, we had our winner come burstin' through ...

Little Billy Kristol.

Now, I'm sure, this was predictable, the way he waved his poms-poms for The Bush Grindhouse, giving them leather-lunged "Sis-Boom-Bahs", all the way into Baghdad, keeping the creases crisp in his poodle skirt.

What did he do today?

Nothing, other then open The Dubya Legacy Registry (found were finer NeoNitWit merchandise is sold), with a laundry list that, undoubtedly, will get picked up by the other Flying Monkeys in the Right Wing Freak Show.

After slapping the PNAC dildo on the table, for the military, and waving it, menacingly, at the incoming Obama Administration, to not go after the dwarf, finks, phonies and frauds who carried out Darth Vader Cheney's orders to piss-and-shit on The Constitution, Little Billy scribbled this;

Before He Goes ... What President Bush could accomplish in his final days in office

One last thing: Bush should consider pardoning--and should at least be vociferously praising--everyone who served in good faith in the war on terror, but whose deeds may now be susceptible to demagogic or politically inspired prosecution by some seeking to score political points. The lawyers can work out if such general or specific preemptive pardons are possible; it may be that the best Bush can or should do is to warn publicly against any such harassment or prosecution. But the idea is this: The CIA agents who waterboarded Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and the NSA officials who listened in on phone calls from Pakistan, should not have to worry about legal bills or public defamation. In fact, Bush might want to give some of these public servants the Medal of Freedom at the same time he bestows the honor on Generals Petraeus and Odierno. They deserve it.

Got that?

"...demagogic or politically inspired prosecution by some seeking to score political points ..."

Don't prosecute anyone for breaking our laws, but, rather, give them medals for it ...

Brilliant!

Jesus!

By the time this bounces around the echo chamber, via the deadwood at Faux News, Rush, Matt Sludge, Rich Lowry (if he's cleared the starbursts out of his eyes), Prom Dress Boy, the rancid swizzle stick with the eye patch, and all the others, I half expect to see them all, a full bleacher section, on Pennsylvania Avenue, on Inauguration Day, heckling, and harassing President Obama, holding up signs, chanting "No War Crimes! ... No War Crimes! ... Hell No, Let Bush and Cheney Go! ... Hell No, Let Bush and Cheney Go!"

Watch how this will open the flood gates, the revisionism of the Bush Grindhouse officially kicks off, thanks to Little Billy Kristol.

Never mind, for every pat-on-the-back, every hosanna, every bon mot, there's, likely, three different criminal felony charges that could be leveled on Dubya and Darth.

No, Little Billy, we will not pardon anyone, or vociferously praise anyone.

In fact, the only medal-pinning that will take place is for you, attaching The Garlic's "Ignorant Dolt of the Week" to your motherfucking lying, jingoistic, right-wing, war-mongering ass.


Bonus Little Billy Ass-Kissin' Riffs

The Heretik: No ...No, hell no

Steve Benen: KRISTOL WANTS REWARDS FOR TORTURERS...

Think Progress: Kristol Calls On Bush To Pardon Torturers And Wiretappers, Reward Them With Medal Of Freedom

Andrew Sullivan: Freedom And Torture

Alan Colmes: Expect Conservatives To Use India Tragedy To Laud Bush

NYT Editorial: Mr. Bush and the Pardon Power

Retro Garlic: It Is Your Dad's PNAC!

You would have thought, that since their last production crashed and burned, they would be laying low, licking their wounds.

But no, first there was the flare fired up last week

Kristol Floats Revived ‘Project For A New American Century’ To Support Neocons In The Wilderness

In an interview with Hugh Hewitt yesterday, Kristol said that he would like to set up a similar organization to operate during an Obama presidency:

HH: And I think he will be very concerned with the two issues I’m going to raise with you – national security and immigration. Now I believe the Committee On the Present Danger filled a need in the 70s which we need to reorganize an equivalent now. But what do you think, Bill Kristol?

BK: Oh, I agree, and we did a little of that in the 90s with the Project For the New American Century. And I actually think there are people talking about this. And there’s a lot of good foreign policy and defense thinking on our side, the Fred Kagans and Bob Kagans and Reuel Gerechts of the world, Victor Davis Hanson, et cetera. But a little bit of a political organization for them wouldn’t be bad. And I think we should support Obama, incidentally, if he does the right thing.

Isn't that big of Little Billy Kristol.

"I think we should support Obama, incidentally, if he does the right thing"

The "right thing", being, naturally, listening to, and following the plans, of the PNAC.

Here's their elevator pitch;

The Project for the New American Century is a non-profit educational organization dedicated to a few fundamental propositions: that American leadership is good both for America and for the world; and that such leadership requires military strength, diplomatic energy and commitment to moral principle.

The Project for the New American Century intends, through issue briefs, research papers, advocacy journalism, conferences, and seminars, to explain what American world leadership entails. It will also strive to rally support for a vigorous and principled policy of American international involvement and to stimulate useful public debate on foreign and defense policy and America's role in the world.

William Kristol, Chairman

Well, that, pretty much, guarantees, they'll be busting Obama's balls, much in the way they busted Bill Clinton's, hounding him during his presidency to pound his cock on the table, then unleash the bombers and the forces to go invade some sovereign nation, who happens to not be "just like us", and, of course, success will be measured by the number of dead bodies.

This is done in the name of "democracy", not, as some may believe, to give a bunch of pantywaisted old white farts a boner (the younger ones get "starbursts").

From Wikipedia;

Some have regarded the PNAC's January 16, 1998 letter to President Clinton, which urged him to embrace a plan for "the removal of Saddam Hussein’s regime from power,"[6] and the large number of members of PNAC appointed to the Bush administration as evidence that the 2003 invasion of Iraq was a foregone conclusion

So, then comes the news today, from Think Progress;

Matt Duss reports, “It looks like Bill Kristol may be making good on his threat to revive the Project for the New American Century. Since May, visitors to PNAC’s website were informed that ‘this account has been suspended,’ but now the website is back up, though it does not seem to have been updated with any new material.” Duss speculates that PNAC’s reincarnation may serve to boost the future prospects of Sarah Palin.

Oh Jesus, they're going to do it to pump up Mommy Moose?

Hmmm ... Does that mean Kristol and Kagan start pumping out foreign policy white papers with The Wasilla Whiz Kids' name of them?

Will they base a new course of action from the vantage point this Hockey Mom has of Russia?

It will be good for business to reignite that old Cold War ... Lots of Military-Industrial Complex contracts to be had ... A carnival of cable news shows (including their own network, Faux News) to go on and blather away about this growing threat, and how the Obama Administration is squandering away American Power!

Not to mention the truckload of new books they spin off the presses, feeding the Dittoheads and Flying Monkeys with flights of fancy.

Help Me Mr. Wizard!

Oh yeah, the Retro part;

Most People Think The PNAC Is ...

A 10-Year-Old Rap Artist (also known as Lil’ P-Nac)
A TIVO Error Code
Weekend Paintball Warriors
The Governing Body for the Game of Pinochle

Bonus NeoNitWit Riffs

There's Sucker's Born Every Minute ...

"The morning after always looks grim if you happen to be wearing last night's dress"

Neocon Dolphins? ... Say It Ain't So, Flipper!

It Takes A Neocon To Raise A Legacy ... They're Drinking The Kool-Aid Again ...

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?

They Call Me "Mister Glass"

Boy, Little Billy Kristol sure seems preoccupied with glass lately.

Glass ceilings, to be specific.

Just a few days ago, Little Billy, in his own toy box, The Weekly Standard, stoked the soap opera of Hillary/TMFOITW, lamenting of the Democrats "Glass Ceiling".

Obama should have picked Hillary, and not Biden and that, gosh-darn-it, those Democratic delegates at the convention should right this wrong, by nominating Hillary - not for President, but Vice President.

Perhaps, in the days that followed, Little Billy was breathing in to much Windex, even, possibly, drinking it (you know how children are), for today, in his NYT column (I still believe the NYT is doing this as a running joke), Little Billy offers the solution to this terrible wrong:

McCain should ... Must .... Choose Joe Lieberman as his running mate.

And Hillary supporters could protest Obama’s glass ceiling by voting for John McCain and the Democratic Party’s 2000 vice presidential nominee.

That's right, McCain's Mini-Me vaulting up to the #2 spot, Vice Mini-Me.

I suppose, in Little Billy's world, no better champion of woman's rights, and smashing glass ceilings, than two old white guys.

As Attaturk puts it;

Yes, because who would bring down the "glass ceiling" faster than another two white guys who opposed equal pay and reproductive rights?

(Nice to know the Right Wing Freak Show isn't taking the run-up to Labor Day off ... Along with Little Billy Kristol, The Politico is also carrying the GOP's water today, with their own Hillary pumping, here)

Mister Glass lived, essentially, in a comic book world, a purveyor of evil

That, pretty much, sums up Little Billy Kristol.


Bonus Picture Window Links

Tbogg: Oh please, oh please…

M.J. Rosenberg: Shocker! Bill Kristol Urges Lieberman as Mc's VP (Pssst, He'll Bomb Iran)

Of Legacy Maintenance - And Corrections! ... David Corn's "REBUTTAL - Why Bush Is A Loser"

Lieberman's A Prick!

Radio Listeners Diss McCain's Mini-Me

Garlictorial: Why Wait - Toss Lieberman Over To The GOP Now!

A Little More Whine, A Little Less Facts ...

Little Billy Kristol is shaking in his one-piece, footed Batman pajamas.

He sweating and panting,

He's afraid the Germans have already elected Barack Obama.

He's bummed out over a Obama bumper sticker that asks "Got Hope?"

And he is dreading, fearful like that the old bed wetting problem may surface, and to the point of hyperventilation, of a Obama Presidency, presiding over a Democratic-majority Congress;

He's afraid;

"Later that day, I read a report of a fund-raising letter from Obama on behalf of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, arguing that “We must have a deadlock-proof Democratic majority.”

Yikes.

But then it occurred to me that one man’s “deadlock-proof” Democratic majority is another’s unchecked Democratic majority. Given the unpopularity of the current Democratic Congress, given Americans’ tendency to prefer divided government, given the voters’ repudiations of the Republicans in 2006 and of the Democrats in 1994 — isn’t the prospect of across-the-board, one-party Democratic governance more likely to move votes to McCain than to Obama?

So I cheered up once again. For it will become increasingly obvious, as we approach November, that the Democrats will continue to control Congress for the next couple of years. But if the voters elect Obama as president, they’ll be putting Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid in untrammeled control of our future.

He later relieved the tension and pressure, with some flailing masturbation, how Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain will raise his dying campaign from the ashes, swat down Obama, and give the German writer a "Dewey Beats Truman" slap in the face.

Now, if you were a 'Brother from Another Planet', just recently beamed down here and happen to read Little Billy's boogeyman swipe, you might think, God, what an awful thing to happen.

But then, someone comes along and presents the reality, apparently overlooked by the NYT Editors, that Little Billy Kristol completely, and disingenuously, ignores in his shaking boots;

GOP Obstruction Has Shattered Previous Record

Such inaction would strike a more depressing note if it were not the norm. Republicans in the Senate have filibustered more than 70 pieces of legislation (73) in the current session of Congress. Not all of these attempts have ended in success. Bills have passed. But the modern rate of obstructionism has been historic, far surpassing the previous record of 62 cloture votes.

And Steve Benen, in his "Congratulations to the record-breaking Senate GOP — Most. Obstructionist. Ever.", points out what those action-taking Republican blocked out;

What have conservatives obstructed this year? Here’s just a partial list:

• Ending the disastrous occupation of Iraq.
• Providing health insurance to millions more kids.
• Empowering Medicare to negotiate for lower prescription drug prices.
• Taking away handouts to Big Oil so we can invest in renewable energy.
• Repealing the effective ban on embryonic stem cell research.
• Investing more in health research.
• Making it easier for workers to join unions.
• Investing more in fighting poverty and training workers.
  

Is obstructing all of that popular legislation “working” for Republicans?

And that doesn't take into consideration, the pre-2006, Republican-majority Congress, that rubber-stamped everything and anything the Bush Grindhouse wanted, including dragging us into the false choice of invading and occupying Iraq.

Considering Stumblin Bumblin' John McCain's considerable campaign skills, a convey of bulldozers and payloaders won't "move votes to McCain than to Obama".

If Little Billy Kristol is lucky, Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain will give him a ride in the golf cart, to the nearest cheese aisle and they can commiserate, and just hope the President Obama secures the Iraq-Pakistan border before something really bad happens.

Yes, Virginia, There Is, Sadly, A William Kristol ...

Oh, boy ... Like you couldn't see this one coming down the turnpike, pedal-to-the-metal and the high beams on ...

Christ, even a young toddler, that still believes in Santa Claus, knew, instinctively, this would be coming.

Gen. David Petraeus, Man of the Year; Time magazine got it wrong

Little Billy Kristol is all plump-in-the-crotch with this one.

"We are now winning the war. To say this was not inevitable is an understatement ..."

"Petraeus pulled it off. The war is not over, of course. Too quick and deep a drawdown--which some in the Pentagon and elsewhere in the Bush administration are, appallingly, pushing for--could throw away the amazing success that has been achieved. Still: It is as clear as anything can be in this world, where we judge through a glass darkly, that General David H. Petraeus is, in fact, America's man of the year."

What, exactly, has Petraeus, or us, won?

There's a lull in the action and OMG!, the surge worked.

Pardon me, if we wait and let all the sand fall through the hourglass.

There's still a pretty huge shoe - and we're talking gargantuan-sized clown shoes here - that will "inevitably" drop, namely, what happens to all those former insurgents that Petraeus armed - intentionally (and the ones he armed unintentionally) - when they decide to switch back to be regular old insurgents again?

Or they don't like a certain Iraqi politician? Or they don't like what's being served for lunch at the local deli?

Sounds like Little Billy Kristol is pushing for a Mission Accomplished II (which I suppose we get both Bush and Cheney in flightsuits) and a Wall Street-Ticker-Tape parade for the Golden Boy General.

I'm sure this will be a heavily-buzzed topic of conversation on the next Weekly Standard cruise (the Ad hanging over Little Billy's love note) and, who knows, maybe the victorious General will be on-board as well.

Can't you just see The General pulling some aging neocon out of the audience, one poured into the tuxedo bought thirty-years ago, to give some razzle-dazzle demonstration of "the surge"?

The neocons, freakshow and dittoheads on board will eat it up like happy soup. There'll be shouts from the crowd for Petraeus to run for the Senate, run for President. Surely, if he can "win Iraq", he can easily knock some sense into Washington.

Quickly, the crowd will begin foaming, delirious that are in the same room with the Golden Boy General, and it won't be long before the catcalls come for a "surge into Iran".

And Little Billy Kristol crashes through the swinging doors, all dolled up in his little cheerleading uniform and ... Well, let's not go there ... It would take us into a Russ Meyer-Meets-Tim Burton-Meets-David Lynch-Meets-John Waters-thing and that is too sick and twisted to conjure up, even for a satire piece ...

Suffice it to say Little Billy Kristol will have boatloads of more columns calling for war and destruction.

It is, he will argue, the American way.


Cleaning Up Little Billy Kristol Droppings

Think Progress: Time drops Kristol, Krauthammer

Juan Cole: A surge of phony spin on Iraq - Bush's backers are peddling a sunny view of the president's strategy -- despite Iraq's political chaos and soaring death counts

The PetraeusReportpalooza ... Ready For Your Close-Up, General?

Of Legacy Maintenance - And Corrections! ... David Corn's "REBUTTAL - Why Bush Is A Loser"

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?

Juan Williams: The Long, Hard Climb Back

Hmmm ... Is Juan Williams pushing back? ... Does his skin crawl at the thought of being the Laurel to Bill O'Reilly's Hardy?

Check this out;

Think Progress: Kristol’s Dark Humor: Bush’s ‘Heartless Assault On Our Children’ Is ‘A Good Idea’

And dig how Williams takes on the Lord of the Neocons, the man who loves the smell of war in the morning, Little Billie Kristol ...

Keep climbing there Juan ... Americans are a forgiving bunch and, with the appropriate cleanser, and number of washings, you may yet get the stench of The Loofah Man off of you.

Bonus Links

The Official Website of Laurel and Hardy

A Lot of Heads ... A Lot of Asses ... And A Whole Boatload of Pulling

Geesh, where's the Freak Show been hiding this guy?

Does he have an eye patch, ala Ann Coultergist? ...Or is he just the passive butt-kisser, ala Little Billy Kristolnacht?

It looks like this weekend is shaping up to be a "Pulling-Your-Head-Out-Of-Your-Ass-Palooza"

Astonishingly, Philadelphia Daily News columnist Stu Bykofsky put into print the ultimate (well, maybe No.2. - Attacking Iran is still pretty high up there) Neocon wet dream, in his missive on Thursday, "To save America, we need another 9/11"

My God, does he know what this does?

No doubt, the Vice President's chest started thumping like the Grambling State Marching Band ... Rick Santorum snapped on his beanie cap and dug out his "How To Find WMD's" kit ... Kate O’Beirne, the poor dear, got cramps, sitting in front of the mirror, practicing pursing her lips in disdain, in anticipation of being next week's pin-up girl on the cable news programs ... Bill O'Reilly... Well, Bill-O didn't quite know what to do with his loofah in the morning shower, he was so trembling with excitement ...

And, equally sublime, the Freak Show and Smear Machines rolled out the red carpet for good, ol' Stu.

The Sludge Report ... Fox Noise (a double hit - morning show and with the Big Head, John Gibson) ... Townhall ...

The gist of Stu's pornography is that the country is torn apart, not following in lockstep our The Commander Guy, and rallying around his lying that led to the invasion and occupation of a sovereign nation.

We were there, right after September 11th, but "America likes wars shorter than the World Series."

And this;

America's fabric is pulling apart like a cheap sweater.

What would sew us back together?

Another 9/11 attack.

The Golden Gate Bridge. Mount Rushmore. Chicago's Wrigley Field. The Philadelphia subway system. The U.S. is a target-rich environment for al Qaeda.

So, rather than having an Executive Branch (both Bush's and Cheney's) that doesn't lie, obscure, hide and conduct the nation's affairs in secret, out CIA agents, smear and destroy critics, one that will uphold the law, respect the Constitution, not overrule legislation with Signing Statements, we should endure and suffer another horrible deadly attack in order to break out the jingoistic pom-poms again.

And to help Stu along, today's Que Sera Sera moment?

Good morning. In America, August is considered a slow news month. But in the war on terror, America and our allies remain on the offense against our enemies. And this month, we've had some encouraging news from both Afghanistan and Iraq

The Commander Guys' Weekly Radio Address.

Too bad Stu didn't direct his outrage where the disaster he desires is already occurring ...The utter destruction of the U.S. Constitution ... There's a whole lot of carnage there that he can drool over ...

Bonus Links

Think Progress: Right-Wing Media Give Favorable Platform To ‘Another 9/11′ Columnist

Newshounds: Lunacy 101: Stu Bykofsky Suggests That Another 9-11 Attack Would Bring Us All Together!

Larisa Alexandrovna: Bush declares Congress, courts, and, rule of law null and void...

Truthout: Executive Order: Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq

It Takes A Neocon To Raise A Legacy ... They're Drinking The Kool-Aid Again ...

It's turning into a mini Neoconpalooza today!

We offered earlier, what it would be like to be stuck on a boat full of Neocons (see our post "Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?")

And, lo-and-behold, before the second cup of coffee (fair-trade-bought-beans) can get cold, we have a couple of Legacy-Writing Drafts to chew over, that is before we smash them both with "The Hammer".

Legacy #1 - The Don't Call Him Dick For Nothing

First, there's the big, fat, wet kiss The Weekly Standard's Stephen Hayes plants on Darth Vader's cheek (and not either one above his neck), with his "Cheney Speaks", portraying a staunch and resolute, fearless Vice President, just doing his job (you're on your own as to supplying a barf bag);

"It had to be done. It was a--once you made the decision, once the plane became hijacked, even if it had a load of passengers on board who, obviously, weren't part of any hijacking attempt, once it was hijacked, and having seen what had happened in New York and the Pentagon, you really didn't have any choice. It wasn't a close call. I think a lot of people emotionally look at that and say, my gosh, you just shot down a planeload of Americans. On the other hand, you maybe saved thousands of lives. And so it was a matter that required a decision, that required action. It was the right call."

And, perhaps, an insight to the question, inadvertently supplied by Hayes, of who the real President was/is;

"Shortly after 10:00 P.M., Cheney, along with his wife and top two aides--Libby and Addington--walked back upstairs from the bunker and out the diplomatic entrance of the White House to the South Lawn, where Marine Two, the vice president's helicopter, was waiting. Joined by three Secret Service officials, a military aide, a communications expert, and Cheney's doctor, they took off under cover of darkness, an unusual precaution. The departure itself was a violation of longstanding protocol: No one takes off from the South Lawn other than the president. Their destination was kept from all but a handful of the most senior White House officials."

And;

"Less than thirty minutes later, another tradition was discarded when Cheney and his family settled into the Aspen Lodge at Camp David, the facility typically reserved for the president."

And what's so good about building up one legacy, is you get to throw someone under the bus.

"On February 15, 1991, George H.W. Bush had urged Iraqis to overthrow Saddam Hussein ...

Those comments and the subsequent failure of the United States to support the rebellion would have lasting consequences. "The Shia had been treated for centuries as second-class citizens, governed by the Sunnis, and in recent decades the Baathists, under Saddam Hussein. They had been encouraged, in '91, to rise up, and did, and were slaughtered for their troubles. Nobody came to their assistance," Cheney says.

Many Iraqis assumed that the United States refused to remove Saddam Hussein after the first Gulf war because the United States wanted him to remain in power ..."

And in case Cheney was impressed with the first big, wet, kiss, Hayes puckered up in closing out;

"And then Cheney paused, his words and his emotions tangled in his throat. He started to speak and then, choking back tears, stopped again. Reporters exchanged quick glances as if to confirm that they were seeing what they thought they were seeing.

For the man who had repeatedly evaded questions about how those attacks affected him personally, this was his answer."

Legacy #2 - When In Doubt, Pucker Up

But wait, not to be left behind, and under a sun-drenched, cheery title of "On The Brighter Side", TWS's main man, the warrior who put the destruction in the WMD's, the hawk who will measure the Bush Presidency by how well he carpet bombs Iran, Little Billy Kristol throws his hat in the ring for writing The Decider/The Commander/The Shakespeare Guy's legacy, the uplifting scolding that we've had it all wrong, with his "Why Bush Will Be A Winner" (okay, we'll wait a minute, while you grab the Hayes Barf Bag ... )

"Let's step back from the unnecessary mistakes and the self-inflicted wounds that have characterized the Bush administration. Let's look at the broad forest rather than the often unlovely trees. What do we see? First, no second terrorist attack on U.S. soil -- not something we could have taken for granted. Second, a strong economy -- also something that wasn't inevitable.

And third, and most important, a war in Iraq that has been very difficult, but where -- despite some confusion engendered by an almost meaningless "benchmark" report last week -- we now seem to be on course to a successful outcome."

First, throw some garlands down on the domestic front (after all, you'll want to secure those library donations from the Isolationist Conservatives as well as all the others);

"So on the two biggest pieces of domestic legislation the president has gotten passed, he has been vindicated. And with respect to the two second-term proposals that failed -- private Social Security accounts and immigration -- I suspect that something similar to what Bush proposed will end up as law over the next several years."

And;

"And if you're a conservative constitutionalist, putting Roberts and Alito on the court constitutes a huge accomplishment."

The War? Everything's coming up roses;

"What about terrorism? Apart from Iraq, there has been less of it, here and abroad, than many experts predicted on Sept. 12, 2001. So Bush and Vice President Cheney probably are doing some important things right. The war in Afghanistan has gone reasonably well.

These Waziristan havens may well have to be dealt with in the near future. I assume Bush will deal with them, using some combination of air strikes and special operations.

We are routing al-Qaeda in Iraq, we are beginning to curb the Iranian-backed sectarian Shiite militias and we are increasingly able to protect more of the Iraqi population.

Iran is a problem, and we will have to do more to curb Tehran's meddling -- but we can. So if we keep our nerve here at home, we have a good shot at achieving a real, though messy, victory in Iraq."

And Kristol isn't adverse to puckering up himself;

"Following through to secure the victory in Iraq and to extend its benefits to neighboring countries will be the task of the next president. And that brings us to Bush's final test.

The truly successful American presidents tend to find vindication in, and guarantee an extension of their policies through, the election of a successor from their own party. Can Bush hand the presidency off to a Republican who will (broadly) continue along the path of his post-9/11 foreign policy, nominate judges who solidify a Roberts-Alito court, make his tax cuts permanent and the like?"

Send In The Hammer

But, it's Sunday, so we can count on - and he delivers, as usual - Frank Rich to come hammering home (Stanley Tools, take note), to save the day by turning the reality channel back on, as he continues his relentless pounding of the Bush Grindhouse in "Don't Laugh at Michael Chertoff";

"But even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Last week, as the Bush administration frantically tried to counter Republican defections from the war in Iraq, Mr. Chertoff alone departed from the administration's script to talk about the enemy that actually did attack America on 9/11, Al Qaeda, rather than Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia, the jihad-come-lately gang Mr. Bush is fond of talking about instead. In this White House, the occasional official who strays off script is in all likelihood inadvertently coughing up the truth.

The White House's game is to create a new fictional story line to keep the war going until President Bush can dump it on his successor. Bizarrely, some of the new scenario echoes the bogus narrative used to sell the war in 2002: an imaginary connection between Iraq and the attacks of 9/11. You'd think the Bush administration might think twice before recycling old lies, but things have gotten so bad in the bunker that even Karl Rove is repeating himself.

The capital's entire political debate over Iraq - stay-the-surge versus "precipitous withdrawal" - is itself pure hot air. Even though felons and the obese are now being signed up to meet Army recruitment shortfalls, we still can't extend the surge past next April, when troops for Iraq run out unless Mr. Bush extends their tours yet again. "Precipitous withdrawal" (which no withdrawal bill in Congress calls for) is a non sequitur, since any withdrawal would take at least 10 months. Rather than have the real debate about how to manage the exit, politically panicked Republicans hope to cast symbolic votes that will allow them to tell voters they were for ending the war before they prolonged it."

Regrettably, these won't be the only legacy drafts we see coming out of the TWS barn, they have an almost inexhaustible supply of Kool-Aid, as well as another farm-produced by-product.

And it will take all the Frank Rich's out there to keep them on the ranch, not letting them stray too far.

And just in case it isn't the Kool-Aid, Hayes and Kristol, you can follow the same advise we gave John Fund, as well as Dorothy Rabinowitz and Richard Cohen ...


Bonus Links

Webb Rips Graham As ‘Politician Trying To Put His Political Views Into The Mouths Of Soldiers’’

Kristol: ‘We’re Not In A Civil War’ In Iraq, ‘This Is Just Not True’

Glenn Greenwald: Still more White House secrecy -- this time in the Tillman investigation


Bonus Links II

Crooks and Liars: Bush Iraq policy controlled by Bill Kristol

The Guardian: Cheney pushes Bush to act on Iran; Military solution back in favour as Rice loses out; · President 'not prepared to leave conflict unresolved'













Get ready for some big, wet ones, boys, Kristol and Hayes are calling ...