Breaking! ... Groundhog Sees Palin's Shadow, Predicts Winter Through 2012

The first signs of something gone awry came on Punxsutawney Phil's new Twitter account;

Eek! A horrifying shadow!

Stunning his handlers, from the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, as well as tens-of-thousands of fans and spectators who make the pilgrimage to this tiny Pennsylvania berg, the infamous prognosticating groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, saw the shadow of the abdicating, half-term former Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, which spelled out we are in for winter, extending through 2012.



"This is terrible, just terrible," offered club president Bill Deeley, adding "we've never had anything like this happen before."

Reports indicate that other club members, as well as an untold number in the crowd, closest to Punxsutawney Phil , apparently also saw, what appeared to be, the likeness of Palin.

Deeley went on to say that "I hope this isn't that O'Keefe kid, or one of his friends, trying to pull a stunt... Or that Andrew Breitbrat guy, sending someone here ..."

William Kristol, the person who first promoted last years' losing Vice Presidential candidate, thought "it would wonderful for the groundhog to see Sarah Palin."

"Maybe, the day after she gets elected President, in 2012, the sun will come out."

A spokesperson for the National Weather Service declined comment, stating, "We need to look at this more closely."



At the White House, a team of both administration personnel, as well as scientists, were abruptly dispatched to Punxsutawney, to investigate the claim further.

Peter Orszag, the President Obama's Director of the Office of Management and Budget was devastated by the news.

"We just released our budget and, now, that's all out the window."

Orszag indicated that most of the budget will have to recalculated, to take into account the loss of crops, and jobs, from the extended period of cold, snow, and ice, as well as the potential for catastrophic healthcare needs.

"We're talking about almost two-years of being in a deep freeze ... That's unprecidented, no government in our history has had to contend with something like this."

Palin, an undeclared candidate for President in 2012, and, under fire for using PAC money to make bulk purchases of her own book, said, through a spokesperson, that she welcomes the news.

"Snow and cold, youbetcha ... That be some good huntin' and dogsleddin' weather."

The Palin spokesperson added that "the governor was, no way, near Punxsutawney today", and immediately cast suspicion, blaming the prolonged winter, on White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.


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Bonus Bonus: Punxsutawney Phil On The Garlic

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Breaking News! ... Bush Administration To Tap Punxsutawney Phil To Bolster Foreign Policy ...Gobbler's Knob Appearance Tomorrow Will Be Last For Famous Prognosticator

More Discord In The White House ...White House At Odds With Groundhog Hire, Handlers Over Cheney Shooting ...Bush Said To Be "Livid, As Famous Prognosticator 'Never Tipped Us Off"; UK's Blair Said To Be Frantic For Direction

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Breaking News! Groundhog Sees Obama's Shadow

Breaking News! Groundhog Sees Obama's Shadow

Chaos erupted at Gobbler's Knob this morning, as the prognosticating groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his den, only to see the shadow of newly-elected President Barack Obama.

Handlers of Punxsutawney Phil were at a loss to explain the phenomenon.



With television cameras whirring, nervous officials declared they were uncertain, if this meant six-more-weeks of winter, or, that this uncharted vision signaled it would be six-more-weeks of Obamamania, or, worse, more economic downturn.

Additionally, with the annual gathering already at tens-of-thousands of spectators, once word circulated of the groundhog's sighting of Obama's shadow, hundreds-of-thousands more began flocking to the tiny berg, clogging Pennsylvania highways, and creating unprecidented gridlock.

Telephone and cellphone service was knocked out in Pennsylvania, and, for most of the Eastern Seaboard, while, the rest of the country has been experiencing busy signals and, erratically, dead lines.

Punxsutawney Phil's website, as well as a bevy of additional websites on groundhogs crashed, as millions attempted to log in to see the incredible event.



"It was clear-as-day," one Gobbler's Knob attendee gushed.

"You could see the groundhog, kind of, recoil, and the shadow, clearly with the large ears that Obama has, was briefly visible."

Some claimed it was a hoax, that the shadow of Obama's ears were painted on to the groundhogs' den, however, officials denied that was the case.

"We don't tell, or influence, Phil in any way, shape or form," said one of Punxsutawney Groundhog Club's Inner Circle members.

The White House issued a brief statement, indicating that they were pleased to hear that Punxsutawney Phil "was a President Obama supporter", and hoped that his sighting can "bring Republicans, Democrats, and groundhogs together, to help solve the nation's problems."

White House Press Spokesman Robert Gibbs refused to confirm, or deny, that the Obama White House made a special request to Punxsutawney Phil, asking for a prognostication on when they would receive a cabinet candidate without a tax problem.

In a related matter, Purple, Silver and Blue ticket holders to the Obama Inauguration that were denied entry, had been assured there would be room for them at Gobblers Knob, as a "make-up" for missing the historic swearing-in ceremony, were again, shut out, and left standing outside, and far away, from the Punxsutawney Phil festivities.

More as this story develops ...


Bonus Punxsutawney Phil Riffs

AP: Punxsutawney Phil sees shadow; winter to continue

Groundhog Lied; Investigation Launched

Breaking News! Bush Administration To Tap Punxsutawney Phil To Bolster Foreign Policy ...Gobbler's Knob Appearance Tomorrow Will Be Last For Famous Prognosticator

More Discord In The White House ...White House At Odds With Groundhog Hire, Handlers Over Cheney Shooting ...Bush Said To Be "Livid, As Famous Prognosticator 'Never Tipped Us Off"; UK's Blair Said To Be Frantic For Direction

Breaking News! Bush Sees Shadow; Another Year of Lawbreaking Predicted ...Oval Office Event Draws Thousands; Top Hat and Tails, and an Outcome "Just Like The Movie"