Yes, Virginia, Even Sadder, Little Billy Kristol Is Going To The NYT

Boy, our poor little Christmas girl can't catch a break.

First, we have to confirm to her that Yes, Virginia, There Is, Sadly, A William Kristol ..., and now this drops on her.

The Huffington Post is reporting that Little Billy Kristol will be taking his craziness to the pages of the New York Times (Bill Kristol To Become New York Times Columnist In 2008), only a week after Time Magazine gave him the boot.

I suppose this was inevitable.

A great deal of Bush Grindhouse water has pooled up since Judy Miller left, so the NYT had a need for another water carrier, someone with a big bucket, someone with "Big Lying" credentials.

Apparently, David Brooks wasn't up to snuff, or that his "body language" thing has even creeped-out his co-workers.

Jonah Goldberg is currently unavailable, too busy sticking his head up his own ass.

They probably could have reached out and pulled in Coltergeist, but why risk seeing the building explode into flames?

Someone should go check on Arthur Schulzberger Jr., just to make sure he didn't hit his head on a SUV sunroof lever.


Bonus Bad News Billy Links

Anonymous Liberal: Kristol's Secret to Success

Anonymous Liberal: Bill Kristol: Pundit Superstar

Creature/State of The Day: The post in which my head explodes

Crooks and Liars: Bill Kristol is rewarded for being “wrong” on everything: NY Times gig is a comin’

Crooks and Liars: Bonus Bill Kristol Highlight Reel

It Takes A Neocon To Raise A Legacy ... They're Drinking The Kool-Aid Again ...

Of Legacy Maintenance - And Corrections! ... David Corn's "REBUTTAL - Why Bush Is A Loser"

Good Post Alert - Glenn Greenwald's 'A nation of Rich Lowrys'

They're trying to pass around the Kool-Aid again.

Glenn Greenwald takes note today of those cheerleading, flag-waving, dwarfs-finks-phonies-frauds-band of neocons telling us, once again, how rosy everything is over in Iraq.

This time, it's the lost, "My Three Sons" wannabe, National Review Editor Rich Lowry (who must have missed the "Smear The Frosts" email).

It's a great, well-linked and documented push back on the Neoncon's through-the-looking glass boasts.

Check out "A nation of Rich Lowrys"

Bonus Links

Rich Lowry on Media Matters

It Takes A Neocon To Raise A Legacy ... They're Drinking The Kool-Aid Again ...

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?

"They will have flies walking across their eyeballs"

No, the above title isn't from an upcoming Discovery Channel program, nor is it booming out of a trailer of bloody, gore-filled scenes of a Quentin Tarantino-Robert Rodriguez movie.

It is from J. Cofer Black, former CIA veteran and now vice chairman of Blackwater USA, allegedly describing to President Bush the outcome of invading Afghanistan after September 11th, from one of a trio of articles in Salon today.

Boy, I'll bet that phrase gives the Neocons - Norman Podhoretz, Jonah Goldberg, Little Billy Kristol, and, heck, even Vice President Dick Cheney - raging hard-ons.

And what a missed opportunity to aid the Army in meeting their recruiting goals.

Just think, they could have replaced the iconic "Uncle Sam Wants You" posters, with much more graphic, horrific depictions, of dead terrorists lying in the desert, a close-up of one (so you can see the flies walking across their eyeballs), and more littered in the distance.

A wave of Army recruiters, sitting in the living rooms across Nowheresville, USA, going through their pitch, about the benefits, the call-to-duty, serving your country, and building up to the chest-thumping, lump-in-the-throat clincher, how you, little John Doe recruit, will see the blazing day of righteous victory when you watch the flies walking across their eyeballs (Far-Fetched? It seems quite clear The Commander Guy bought it).

Perhaps the CIA could have had one of their deep-cover, front companies put out a video game, a war video game, where, for all the terrorists you kill, you earn the flies that you will gleefully (and, if you have Neocon tendencies, with hard-on) place on their eyeballs (which the above-referenced Army Recruiter gives a copy to the little John Doe recruits, as a "gift")

Instead of telling us to "go shopping" The Commander Guy could have rallied the country around the collection of flies.

"No flies on his head" would become a jingoistic talking point, rather then a derisive put-down.

Instead of waterboarding, we'd be talking about "flyboarding".

The Republicans could have, instead of taunting their counterparts in Congress with "Defeatocrats" and "Cut and Run", could have, with veins popping on their foreheads, voices coursed from passion, saying the Democrats want to "protect the flies" ... "Fly Appeasers" and the like.

Who knows the impact this would have had, if the military dropped leaflets, that new "Flies-Walking-Across-Eyeballs" recruiting poster sketch, that maybe the insurgents, terrorists, Al Qaeda in Iraq, even those infamous "dead-enders" would have paled at such a thought and immediately thrown down their arms ... Heck, they may even would have been at the head-of-the-list on planning the "Liberation Parades" throughout Baghdad.

L. Paul Bremmer, and The Commander Guy, wouldn't have had to dismantle the Iraqi Army.

The donations to the Bush Library, or the Freedom Institute, would be flooding in at record pace

The references to his presidency wouldn't hover around Hoover, but, rather, resplendently ride next Roosevelt.

Bush would become "Lord of the Flies", the de facto leader of the Neocon tribe.

Hmmm ... Wait a minute ... None of that is even close, and he's already become something like that ....

Never Mind ...

The Salon Blackwater Trio Links

Ben Van Heuvelen: The Bush administration's ties to Blackwater; Blamed in the deaths of Iraqi civilians, the private security firm has long ties to the White House and prominent Republicans, including Ken Starr.

P.W. Singer: The dark truth about Blackwater; Outsourcing the war to private military contractors such as Blackwater has shattered the United States' moral authority and its ability to win the nation's wars -- including Iraq.

Blackwater by the numbers; A congressional memo looks into the private security contractor's activities in Iraq, the State Department's responses and taxpayer costs.

Juan Williams: The Long, Hard Climb Back

Hmmm ... Is Juan Williams pushing back? ... Does his skin crawl at the thought of being the Laurel to Bill O'Reilly's Hardy?

Check this out;

Think Progress: Kristol’s Dark Humor: Bush’s ‘Heartless Assault On Our Children’ Is ‘A Good Idea’

And dig how Williams takes on the Lord of the Neocons, the man who loves the smell of war in the morning, Little Billie Kristol ...

Keep climbing there Juan ... Americans are a forgiving bunch and, with the appropriate cleanser, and number of washings, you may yet get the stench of The Loofah Man off of you.

Bonus Links

The Official Website of Laurel and Hardy

It Takes A Neocon To Raise A Legacy ... They're Drinking The Kool-Aid Again ...

It's turning into a mini Neoconpalooza today!

We offered earlier, what it would be like to be stuck on a boat full of Neocons (see our post "Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?")

And, lo-and-behold, before the second cup of coffee (fair-trade-bought-beans) can get cold, we have a couple of Legacy-Writing Drafts to chew over, that is before we smash them both with "The Hammer".

Legacy #1 - The Don't Call Him Dick For Nothing

First, there's the big, fat, wet kiss The Weekly Standard's Stephen Hayes plants on Darth Vader's cheek (and not either one above his neck), with his "Cheney Speaks", portraying a staunch and resolute, fearless Vice President, just doing his job (you're on your own as to supplying a barf bag);

"It had to be done. It was a--once you made the decision, once the plane became hijacked, even if it had a load of passengers on board who, obviously, weren't part of any hijacking attempt, once it was hijacked, and having seen what had happened in New York and the Pentagon, you really didn't have any choice. It wasn't a close call. I think a lot of people emotionally look at that and say, my gosh, you just shot down a planeload of Americans. On the other hand, you maybe saved thousands of lives. And so it was a matter that required a decision, that required action. It was the right call."

And, perhaps, an insight to the question, inadvertently supplied by Hayes, of who the real President was/is;

"Shortly after 10:00 P.M., Cheney, along with his wife and top two aides--Libby and Addington--walked back upstairs from the bunker and out the diplomatic entrance of the White House to the South Lawn, where Marine Two, the vice president's helicopter, was waiting. Joined by three Secret Service officials, a military aide, a communications expert, and Cheney's doctor, they took off under cover of darkness, an unusual precaution. The departure itself was a violation of longstanding protocol: No one takes off from the South Lawn other than the president. Their destination was kept from all but a handful of the most senior White House officials."

And;

"Less than thirty minutes later, another tradition was discarded when Cheney and his family settled into the Aspen Lodge at Camp David, the facility typically reserved for the president."

And what's so good about building up one legacy, is you get to throw someone under the bus.

"On February 15, 1991, George H.W. Bush had urged Iraqis to overthrow Saddam Hussein ...

Those comments and the subsequent failure of the United States to support the rebellion would have lasting consequences. "The Shia had been treated for centuries as second-class citizens, governed by the Sunnis, and in recent decades the Baathists, under Saddam Hussein. They had been encouraged, in '91, to rise up, and did, and were slaughtered for their troubles. Nobody came to their assistance," Cheney says.

Many Iraqis assumed that the United States refused to remove Saddam Hussein after the first Gulf war because the United States wanted him to remain in power ..."

And in case Cheney was impressed with the first big, wet, kiss, Hayes puckered up in closing out;

"And then Cheney paused, his words and his emotions tangled in his throat. He started to speak and then, choking back tears, stopped again. Reporters exchanged quick glances as if to confirm that they were seeing what they thought they were seeing.

For the man who had repeatedly evaded questions about how those attacks affected him personally, this was his answer."

Legacy #2 - When In Doubt, Pucker Up

But wait, not to be left behind, and under a sun-drenched, cheery title of "On The Brighter Side", TWS's main man, the warrior who put the destruction in the WMD's, the hawk who will measure the Bush Presidency by how well he carpet bombs Iran, Little Billy Kristol throws his hat in the ring for writing The Decider/The Commander/The Shakespeare Guy's legacy, the uplifting scolding that we've had it all wrong, with his "Why Bush Will Be A Winner" (okay, we'll wait a minute, while you grab the Hayes Barf Bag ... )

"Let's step back from the unnecessary mistakes and the self-inflicted wounds that have characterized the Bush administration. Let's look at the broad forest rather than the often unlovely trees. What do we see? First, no second terrorist attack on U.S. soil -- not something we could have taken for granted. Second, a strong economy -- also something that wasn't inevitable.

And third, and most important, a war in Iraq that has been very difficult, but where -- despite some confusion engendered by an almost meaningless "benchmark" report last week -- we now seem to be on course to a successful outcome."

First, throw some garlands down on the domestic front (after all, you'll want to secure those library donations from the Isolationist Conservatives as well as all the others);

"So on the two biggest pieces of domestic legislation the president has gotten passed, he has been vindicated. And with respect to the two second-term proposals that failed -- private Social Security accounts and immigration -- I suspect that something similar to what Bush proposed will end up as law over the next several years."

And;

"And if you're a conservative constitutionalist, putting Roberts and Alito on the court constitutes a huge accomplishment."

The War? Everything's coming up roses;

"What about terrorism? Apart from Iraq, there has been less of it, here and abroad, than many experts predicted on Sept. 12, 2001. So Bush and Vice President Cheney probably are doing some important things right. The war in Afghanistan has gone reasonably well.

These Waziristan havens may well have to be dealt with in the near future. I assume Bush will deal with them, using some combination of air strikes and special operations.

We are routing al-Qaeda in Iraq, we are beginning to curb the Iranian-backed sectarian Shiite militias and we are increasingly able to protect more of the Iraqi population.

Iran is a problem, and we will have to do more to curb Tehran's meddling -- but we can. So if we keep our nerve here at home, we have a good shot at achieving a real, though messy, victory in Iraq."

And Kristol isn't adverse to puckering up himself;

"Following through to secure the victory in Iraq and to extend its benefits to neighboring countries will be the task of the next president. And that brings us to Bush's final test.

The truly successful American presidents tend to find vindication in, and guarantee an extension of their policies through, the election of a successor from their own party. Can Bush hand the presidency off to a Republican who will (broadly) continue along the path of his post-9/11 foreign policy, nominate judges who solidify a Roberts-Alito court, make his tax cuts permanent and the like?"

Send In The Hammer

But, it's Sunday, so we can count on - and he delivers, as usual - Frank Rich to come hammering home (Stanley Tools, take note), to save the day by turning the reality channel back on, as he continues his relentless pounding of the Bush Grindhouse in "Don't Laugh at Michael Chertoff";

"But even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Last week, as the Bush administration frantically tried to counter Republican defections from the war in Iraq, Mr. Chertoff alone departed from the administration's script to talk about the enemy that actually did attack America on 9/11, Al Qaeda, rather than Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia, the jihad-come-lately gang Mr. Bush is fond of talking about instead. In this White House, the occasional official who strays off script is in all likelihood inadvertently coughing up the truth.

The White House's game is to create a new fictional story line to keep the war going until President Bush can dump it on his successor. Bizarrely, some of the new scenario echoes the bogus narrative used to sell the war in 2002: an imaginary connection between Iraq and the attacks of 9/11. You'd think the Bush administration might think twice before recycling old lies, but things have gotten so bad in the bunker that even Karl Rove is repeating himself.

The capital's entire political debate over Iraq - stay-the-surge versus "precipitous withdrawal" - is itself pure hot air. Even though felons and the obese are now being signed up to meet Army recruitment shortfalls, we still can't extend the surge past next April, when troops for Iraq run out unless Mr. Bush extends their tours yet again. "Precipitous withdrawal" (which no withdrawal bill in Congress calls for) is a non sequitur, since any withdrawal would take at least 10 months. Rather than have the real debate about how to manage the exit, politically panicked Republicans hope to cast symbolic votes that will allow them to tell voters they were for ending the war before they prolonged it."

Regrettably, these won't be the only legacy drafts we see coming out of the TWS barn, they have an almost inexhaustible supply of Kool-Aid, as well as another farm-produced by-product.

And it will take all the Frank Rich's out there to keep them on the ranch, not letting them stray too far.

And just in case it isn't the Kool-Aid, Hayes and Kristol, you can follow the same advise we gave John Fund, as well as Dorothy Rabinowitz and Richard Cohen ...


Bonus Links

Webb Rips Graham As ‘Politician Trying To Put His Political Views Into The Mouths Of Soldiers’’

Kristol: ‘We’re Not In A Civil War’ In Iraq, ‘This Is Just Not True’

Glenn Greenwald: Still more White House secrecy -- this time in the Tillman investigation


Bonus Links II

Crooks and Liars: Bush Iraq policy controlled by Bill Kristol

The Guardian: Cheney pushes Bush to act on Iran; Military solution back in favour as Rice loses out; · President 'not prepared to leave conflict unresolved'













Get ready for some big, wet ones, boys, Kristol and Hayes are calling ...

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?

"You! Preacher! Murderer! I started to believe in your promises, that we had a chance. What chance?"

Det. Lt. Mike Rogo (Ernest Borgnine)

This is like the Poseidon Adventure, but only the ship stays afloat and it's the passengers who have sunk.

The Independent's Johann Harri writes about taking a National Review cruise.

"The Iraq war has been an amazing success, global warming is just a myth – and as for Guantanamo Bay, it's practically a holiday camp... The annual cruise organised by the 'National Review', mouthpiece of right-wing America, is a parallel universe populated by straight-talking, gun-toting, God-fearing Republicans."

If this didn't have some stark implications on our national politics, and the direction of the country, it would be outright slapstick.

As it is, it is very, very humorous

Ship of fools: Johann Harri sets sail with America's swashbuckling neocons

Bonus Links

Larisa Alexandrovna: Send Liberals to "Gas Chambers."... Astonishing Right-Wing Extremism!

Richard Silverstein: Lib Journalist Crashes National Review Cruise

Rachel Sklar: TNR Sails The Seas With Eric Alterman The National Review