Ahhh, Ross, They're Hacks Too!

It's nice to see our Ignorant Dolts working, pushing, going at it with vigor, to maintain their dubious status.

Case-in-point this week is the Little-Billy-Kristol-Replacement-Model over at the New York Times, Ross Douthat.



Ross weighed in lamenting about the travails, and sinking ratings of CNN, offering some of his sterling advice.

In it, he stated this;

But not the “Crossfire” of 2004. CNN overreacted to Jon Stewart’s jeremiad, but he wasn’t entirely wrong. The show was years removed from its Michael Kinsley/Pat Buchanan glory days, and its liberal hosts at the time, Begala and James Carville, really were Democratic Party hacks. (The conservatives, Carlson and Robert Novak, were much more independent-minded, but the constant need to rebut partisan talking points took its toll on them as well.)

Whoa, hold the phone!



The liberals are hacks, but the conservatives, Tucker Carlson and Robert Novak, are not?

We're talking about 50% of the old "Errors and No Facts" writing team, the guy who had his head up the Bush Grindhouse's ass, helping them out Valerie Plame, not to mention, his mowing down pedestrians on the streets of Washington.

And the little bow-tied He-Man, he consistently threw partisan hand grenades, even going to the point of his "Right Wing" verision of Huffington Post.

You're just playing the old, "IOKIYAR" card there, Ross.

And, The Garlic wasn't the only one to have a little trouble with his column.

Glenn Greenwald took Douthat to school, for erroneously trying to label Rachel Maddow as a hack (which, to his credit, he tried to pull that one back).

Wonkette slapped him around, as well.

Keep at it Ross ...

We knew, early on, putting you on our Ignorant Dolt roster, you wouldn't let us down.

Cirque de Military Analysts

Back in the early 1980's, during my brief period of performing stand-up comedy, we are at a Open Mike Night, at The Comedy Store, up on Sunset Boulevard, in Hollywood, CA.

A young ventriloquist got his time on stage and up he went, with his dummy, taking a moment to move the stool and get himself situated - and placing the dummy in front of the microphone.

A small wave of titters and laughs went about the room, believing, as one could easily at the moment, that this was part of the routine ... The ventriloquist began his set, barely audible for the packed room and soon, the small titters and laughs stopped ...After a few more moments, it became clear, that the ventriloquist was keeping the dummy in front of the microphone.

Some in the crowd began shouting at him, telling him, quite directly, to move the microphone, to use the microphone ...He continued, through the seemingly never-ending five-minutes without moving the dummy away from the microphone

To be kind, it wasn't part of the act.

Not totally unlike the blockbuster news broken last night by the NYT, with the Cirque de Military Analysts being mouthpieces for the Pentagon and Bush Grindhouse.

Dummies, up in front of the microphone, pouring out the words of their masters.

We riffed on this late last evening and, in the light of day, rereading the article, as well as all the blowback out on the WWW and Blogosphere, it leaves a more disgusting aftertaste.

While we, and others touched on it, it really is colossal, that the overarching goal of the Bush Grindhouse, and the likes to Torie Clarke and Rumsfeld, wasn't that welfare of the soldiers being sent into this blunder (or the lives of the innocent Iraqi citizens), but whether or not they could control the message, control the media.

That was what was most paramount.

Hell, they planned (and executed) on which military man would speak on which network, and give this message or that message, better than anything they planned on the ground in Iraq.

They were more upset of a General speaking out-of-turn, speaking truth, than whether-or-not our soldiers were safe, that they had the proper training, equipment and armor.

It was Wag The Dog, Director's Cut!

While this is wrong on so many levels, (including the NYT publishing this, perhaps as a Mea Culpa, being they were, perhaps, the biggest cheerleader as to WMD's and going into Iraq), that retired military people engaged in this, with total disregard, abdicating, even, in retirement, the moral equivalent, of protecting their soldiers.

Much like a bevy of other Bush Cronies, they simply were looking to cash-in on it.

Larisa Alexandrovna, on her blog At-Largely, has a good post, in which she offers clear vision;

"An excellent article in the NYT today illustrates our continued march toward the marriage of corporate and state interests, otherwise known as fascism ..."

As does Greg Mitchell, out on the HuffPo;

"But to get you started, a few points to keep in mind:

-- The article has at least three tracks: One, the Pentagon deploying the analysts (some 75 in number) and the TV outlets happy to run with them; two, the analysts' further conflict-of-interest in being tied to defense contractors with billions of dollars invested in the war effort; three, the complete lack of interest by the TV outlets in either of the first two connections, or ignoring what they did know. In fact, the networks raised no objections to the Pentagon paying for trips by the analysts.

-- The effort began in "selling the war" -- going where even Judy Miller feared to tread -- and there are some startling admissions by some team members that they knew they were being sold a fairy tale on WMD, but went along with it anyway. The moral bankruptcy is truly disgusting."

And Libby, over on Newshoggers speaks for many;

No surprises here. Simply more proof that we have more to fear from our own government than we do from terrorists.

Haven't seen or heard the three major candidates weigh in on this yet.

And, likely, for at least two of them - Hillary and Obama - we won't hear anything, being it's two-days out from PA voting (and if they have the balls to call this repugnant, or such, Christ, make sure they're wearing a Flag Lapel Pin when the do it ... We don't want to further stress out Nash McCabe).


Some More Links

Praire Weather: "We need to stick our hands up your back and move your mouth for you... "

Steve Benen: Puppets of the Defense Department

Mustang Bobby/Shakesville: The Puppetry of the Pentagon

Think Progress: Pentagon uses military analysts as ‘puppets’ to push talking points


"I'm sorry, can you lie a little louder"

More On Client No. 9 ... Brought To You By "On Cue"

I found it especially refreshing today, that there stood the Mississippi Primary, if only so we didn't hear the words "Eliot Spitzer" pass through the lips of every news anchor, every talking head, about every 30-seconds.

And a late day bonus of the Bush Grindhouse firing Admiral Fallon (more on that coming soon) certainly went to tamping down, though not completely clearing it off the radar

After the bucket of water dumped over heads yesterday, on the New York Governor' lascivious behavior, everyone unbunched their panties today, and hit their floor marks.

The late night television comics all took their shots.

Delivering, on cue, with stern editorials, alternately slamming and tisk-tisking Client 9, were The New York Times and Wall Street Journal.

The states' GOP hacks were huffing and puffing with threats and deadlines, to either get out of town, or we'll throw you out of town.

And the Governor's old enemy, Wall Street, was hooping and hollering in joy.

Last, but not lest, all of the above was the reason (or the excuse) to drag the old dirt bag, Heidi Fleiss, back to center stage and she pontificated her worldly wisdom on the whole mess.

Sigh ...

In the event anyone was nervous as this scandal unfolded, fear not, Barry Crimmins, heroically, took the reigns of the Empire State and guided her through the night (and with some excellent Executive decision-making).

Oh yeah, more and more, questions are being raised about just what the hell is going on.


Today's Spitzerpalooza, some of the better posts found

Larisa Alexandrovna: Remember the days when being linked to a straight, female, adult hooker was political suicide?

Larisa Alexandrovna: Spitzer's selective prosecution?

Digby: Parting Shot?

Richard Kim: The Spitzer Scandal

John Cole: A Comparison


And here is The Best - Must Read post, from the pen (or keyboard) of Attytood

Their ding-a-lings: Chuck Berry, Eliot Spitzer and the bizarre history of the Mann Act

Yes, Virginia, Even Sadder, Little Billy Kristol Is Going To The NYT

Boy, our poor little Christmas girl can't catch a break.

First, we have to confirm to her that Yes, Virginia, There Is, Sadly, A William Kristol ..., and now this drops on her.

The Huffington Post is reporting that Little Billy Kristol will be taking his craziness to the pages of the New York Times (Bill Kristol To Become New York Times Columnist In 2008), only a week after Time Magazine gave him the boot.

I suppose this was inevitable.

A great deal of Bush Grindhouse water has pooled up since Judy Miller left, so the NYT had a need for another water carrier, someone with a big bucket, someone with "Big Lying" credentials.

Apparently, David Brooks wasn't up to snuff, or that his "body language" thing has even creeped-out his co-workers.

Jonah Goldberg is currently unavailable, too busy sticking his head up his own ass.

They probably could have reached out and pulled in Coltergeist, but why risk seeing the building explode into flames?

Someone should go check on Arthur Schulzberger Jr., just to make sure he didn't hit his head on a SUV sunroof lever.


Bonus Bad News Billy Links

Anonymous Liberal: Kristol's Secret to Success

Anonymous Liberal: Bill Kristol: Pundit Superstar

Creature/State of The Day: The post in which my head explodes

Crooks and Liars: Bill Kristol is rewarded for being “wrong” on everything: NY Times gig is a comin’

Crooks and Liars: Bonus Bill Kristol Highlight Reel

It Takes A Neocon To Raise A Legacy ... They're Drinking The Kool-Aid Again ...

Of Legacy Maintenance - And Corrections! ... David Corn's "REBUTTAL - Why Bush Is A Loser"

Romney Aide Instrumental In Exposing Fake Steve Jobs

Stalked Internet Cafes, Wearing Black Turtlenecks, Even Passing Himself Off As The FSJ

Sources have told The Garlic today that Jay Garrity, the disgraced former director of operations of Mitt Romney's presidential campaign, was "extremely instrumental" in exposing the hi-tech world's most burning secret - who is the Fake Steve Jobs.

New York Times reporter Brad Stone writes in today's edition that Daniel Lyons, a senior editor at Forbes magazine, is the person behind the hilarious and biting satire blog that has rocked Silicon Valley for more than the past year.

A bevy of news publications, magazines and everybody and their cousin were attempting to guess, and out, the Fake Steve Jobs over the past year.

"Garrity really broke this thing wide open," said Harry Connell, Managing Editor of "iSqueal Monthly", a magazine that gives tips to Apple users in navigating the company's iSqueal Hotline, and publishing the best of the iSqueal recordings.

Employing his skills at impersonating police officers, Garrity attempted to find "Steve Jobs", in a misguided effort that would enhance the Romney campaign.

Believing that Jobs, and Apple, had recently purchased YouTube (it was Google that made the deal), Garrity planned to intimidate "Steve Jobs", using his phony badge and other fake police paraphernalia into promoting and highlighting Romney on YouTube.

Romney, recently on the campaign trail, confused YouTube with MySpace.

Garrity, in his pursuit of "Steve Jobs", went to great lengths, flying back-and-forth between the two coasts, and stalking internet cafes, often donning a black turtleneck jersey, and passing himself off at time as the "Fake Steve Jobs", in an effort to dig up new leads.

It's not clear the connection between Garrity and Stone, but Connell believes that it may be that Garrity, when he was with the Romney campaign, donning sunglasses and ear piece, flashing his fake badge, pulled Stone over in one of his phony security warnings to reporters getting too close to Romney.

"He helped sniff this thing out," said Connell.

Neither Stone or Lyons would confirm or deny any contact with Garrity, and Garrity could not be reached for comment.

Unconfirmed rumors, according to Connell, say that Garrity is now passing himself off as "FBI", and is in the process of launching a blog, "Fake Robert Mueller".

"There's been a spike of calls to iSqueal," offered Connell. "People that have come in contact with Garrity, they're not sure, if it is Steve Jobs, or the Fake Steve Jobs who is presenting himself as FBI."

Bonus Link

The Trial of Fake Steve Jobs


Is it Steve Jobs, Daniel Lyons, or, former Romney Aide Jay Garrity?