As Goes Pakistan, So Goes Iowa ... But I'm Still Putting My Money On Colonel Mustard and Ms. Scarlet ...

Renault: By the way Monsieur, last night, you evinced an interest in Signor Ugarte
Laszlo: Yes
Renault: I believe you have a message for him
Laszlo: Nothing important, but may I speak to him now?
Strasser: You would find the conversation a trifle one-sided. Signor Ugarte is dead
Ilsa: Oh ...
Renault: I am making out the report now. We haven't quite decided whether he committed suicide or died trying to escape.

From the movie, 'Casablanca'

Boy, and we all thought that it was just Iraq that the Bush Grindhouse & Regime was going to leave the next President - and us - as a pile of shit.

Iraq may end up looking like Main Street USA, on July 4th, with what goes down in Pakistan.

And now, The Little Dictator Who Could, and his Pakistani Government, is giving its' citizens their own, and what will be just as enduring, conspiracy, along the lines of Oswald's Magic Bullet, on how Bhutto died.

It wasn't from being shot.

It wasn't from the bomb.

Drum roll, please ... It was from Bhutto ducking down through the sunroof and hitting her head on the sunroof lever.

Got that?

Perhaps, they are looking to avoid being dragged into court, and giving Bhutto's family an out, to sue the manufacturer of the vehicle she was in, for faulty design.

The lever of a sunroof? ... That makes William Holden's death look absolutely dignified!

Along with funding The Little Dictator Who Could, they must be giving the Pakistanis PR lessons - Blame The Victim.

Just as it was the people of New Orleans suffered for up to five-days, stranded on rooftops, and going without food or water, wasn't due to an obtuse government, they just didn't get out of the way when they were told to ... Bhutto, trying to get out of the way, dies because she ducked, as if to say, if she didn't duck, she would still be alive today ...

Ohhh boy! ...

One thing not going ducking or going down, is The Little Dictator Who Could, Pervez Musharraf.

He is the poster boy for Bush Grindhouse brand of democracy.

With The Commander Guy, holding on tightly to his Democracy blankee, calling for the continuation of planned elections, despite the leading opposition candidate being murdered, and the other party indicating they will boycott, in protest, said election, that's democracy folks.

Well ... You don't, necessarily, need to have banana trees to be a banana republic ...

The Condoleezza Rice Ballroom Dancing & Charm School surely didn't have this in their lesson plan. Perhaps, all those countries that came to Annapolis, they should be inquiring about refunds

And I would love to be a fly-on-the-wall the next time Condi makes one her "Democracy Calls". Perhaps the Bush Grindhouse will have to add body armor - and safer sunroofs - to their all-in-one Democracy-In-A-Box kits.

As has been the hallmark of the Bush Grindhouse, it comes down to the "appearance" of doing something, not actually doing it that counts.

Condi pushed Bhutto to come back to Pakistan, to "balance out" the phony democracy thing, all the while her boss has continued to fund Musharraf (and when we say fund, we mean directly - payments of all those billions have gone directly to The Little Dictator Who Could, not to the Pakistan government or treasury).

The Bush Grindhouse Foreign Policy in all its resplendent living color.

And, if you happen to be following this story via the American MSM and Cable News, you can only come away with this is the worst disaster in our history - and they've turned to the absolute, top Pakistan experts to draw this position - the dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds running for President.

It was been playing out more like a reality TV game show, with the money question being "What would you do if you were President?" ... Answer it correctly to get a big bounce into the final round, being next weeks' Iowa caucus ...

I'm sure all the depressed and bereaved Pakistanis have dollops of hope filling their hearts, knowing that next weeks' Iowa voting will aid moving their country forward, solve all its' problems and, by George, institute all that democracy like it was an episode of Extreme Makeover.

About the only thing the Talking Heads on Cable News didn't indulge in, if it was Colonial Mustard, or Miss Scarlet, who killed Benizar Bhutto ... But the time is young, and it there's still plenty of on-air hours to fill, at least before they drop the story to roll into their canned, New Years' Eve specials.

What a boon for Cable Television ... The lazy, slumbering days between Christmas and New Years, with all those nauseating "Best Lists" and montages who kicked the bucket this year could be shuttered aside - We have HOT News!

It wasn't their standard "missing white woman" but the did apply the "Anna Nicole Smith" principles, so they could roll out all the heavy equipment just the same, to go wall-to-wall with its' coverage.

And with such the controversy over how Bhutto died, it will only be a matter of time, before we see a big, SUV in-studio, on either Wolf Blitzer's monitor-laden set (is he moonlighting for Circuit City?), or MSNBC (we should see a new Doc-Bloc Special, probably, within a month - "Sunroof Deaths"), complete with a Bhutto-sized rally crowd of experts, to dismantle the SUV's sunroof, and roll out a bushel of theories on how it all happened, the angle and speed in which she would have fell, the confusion if the sunroof lever was metal, metal alloy or plastic, only extending the exercise to bring in even more Talking Heads.

For now, we'll just have to wait and see how bad it gets - in Pakistan - and, on our television sets, as to just how far over-the-top they take this.

All those glamor boys, like Anderson Cooper and Matt Lauer, to dispatch to Pakistan ... Brian Williams, all decked out in his best L.L.Bean khakis, doing stand-ups "from the scene, where democracy was attacked" ... Katie Couric's grinning puff pieces, probably getting all her content directly from The Little Dictator Who Could, so we'll know she has the connections, to get the dirt, like a good little tough anchorwoman.

So, for all those expert Presidential candidates, here's some advise, despite what happened to Bhutto, if someone comes running at you while campaigning, wearing a bomb belt and firing a gun, for God's Sake, duck!

Meantime, The Little Dictator Who Could has given the order; "Round up the usual suspects."


Bonus - And Some Must-Read - Links

Juan Cole: Pakistan's 2007 Crises Come to a Crescendo; Benazir Assassinated; Implications for US Security

Larisa Alexandrovna: Now about Pervez Musharraf (and his ISI handlers)...

Digby: Pakistan Crisis For Dummies

emptywheel: Dick Blows Pakistan

Ahmed Rashid: THE GENERAL IN HIS LABYRINTH - America's Bad Deal With Musharraf, Going Down in Flames

Christopher Hitchens: Daughter of Destiny Benazir Bhutto, 1953-2007

Scarecrow: Did Bush Risk Bhutto To Save Musharraf?

emptywheel: Does this Sound Familiar?

Matthew Yglesias: Don't Cry for Me, Pakistan?

Steve Clemons: Implications of the Zbigniew Brzezinski-Anthony Lake Divide