Friday, May 25, 2007

Become a Cheney's Cheney ... Help The VP Build His Team, For The Most Gleaming of Brass Rings - Iran


We have a situation developing, with the Cheney side of our government all running around with puffed up tents in the crotch of their trousers, over the prospects of "hot conflict" with Iran, that there is talk of "insubordination against President Bush" and his wimpy diplomacy-first side of the government.

We'll set aside, for the moment, using the words "President Bush" and "diplomacy" in the same sentence.

Jackson Williams, on the Huffington Post, asked yesterday "Just who is Cheney's team these days, what with Scooter Libby headed to jail and Rummy off playing bridge? Well, the ranks have surely thinned as this blunder has gone on, but there is probably some recruitment of new blood taking place, too."

Where is the new blood coming from?

The Garlic, not wanting to be shown up as not supporting our troops, wants to lend a hand for this effort and has composed a Want Ad for the Office of Vice President, being that Monica Goodling resigned, and can't be sitting there any longer, wearing her BL armband (Bush Loyalist) when screening potential candidates.

Get yourself in the game, it's likely this position will be filled very quickly.

Position: Loyal, Hard-Nosed Neoconservative Yes-Man

Have you ever wanted to overthrow a foreign regime, start a war or tell a United States Senator to "go fuck yourself"?

Do you often find yourself sticking, obstinately, to a minority viewpoint, refusing to give in because you know, deep in your gut, you are correct - even when some panty-waist liberal is waving irrefutable evidence in your face?

If so, the Office of the Vice President has an exciting and rewarding career opportunity for you.

In the dynamic world of the nation's first "Shadow President", you will be in the vortex of domestic and world events, meeting with the nation's energy chiefs, or taking an overseas trips to berate foreign governments.

You may, at times find yourself holed-up in a genuine Secret Bunker, and you'll have the thrill of living through the Armageddon drills and running the country "the day after" with surreptitious weekend retreats.

And, you just may be on-board for the most gleaming of brass rings - Iran.

Qualifications

*Internships and/or employment with the American Enterprise Institute or the PNAC is highly desirable

** All candidates, to be considered for the position, will be required to sign a waiver, indicating the acceptance of going to prison in order to protect the Vice President should such an occurance manifest in carrying out your duties in the Office of the Vice President.

Contact, with cover letter and resume, Chief of Staff (and the original Cheney's Cheney) David Addington at vice_president@whitehouse.gov


Bonus Links

The Trouble With Cheney: He's Dumb

Cheney Sets Up Shadow Government In Area 51

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song


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