One question I have this morning is where's Rumsfeld?
If he isn't leading a coup, or just bustin' everyone's balls, than it may be that our Vice President is showing overt signs of dementia setting in ... Senility or Alzheimer's, perhaps ... Could also be his notoriously bad heart (both literally and figuratively)
It may be that the days of the week are confusing him, and he thinks he's on one of his weekend Armageddon retreats.
How else to explain that he believes he is not part of the Executive Branch?
Long Past The Shock of Illegal, Law-Breaking Misdeeds
Who knew, last month, when The Garlic called for volunteers to become a "Cheney's Cheney" and join his team for the Iran venture that we'd see that the Darth Vader Man was already well ahead of the curve on it.
The Garlic also saw signs last November, when Cheney broke from the White House to form his own Iran Study Group.
And The Garlic had a feeling, earlier, back in November 2005, that Dick was quite the Magic Vice Prez.
He has his lavish Secret Bunker... The family, in particular the wife, is with him all the way ... He'll dress-down, and swear at, a Senator, or turn around and expose a covert CIA agent at the drop-of-the-hat ... And he shares with his boss/underling, The Commander Guy, a disdain for democracy ...
He's already long past the shock of conducting his illegal, law-breaking misdeeds, that there hasn't been any blaring sirens coming for him ... No scoldings, no detention, so he's looking around, his head spinning like Linda Blair's, and sees no one after him, so it's time to push that secret envelope out more, and more.
We should expect some type of fiat next from the VP Man, perhaps suspending the 2008 election, removing Bush, keeping the surge he sings praises for and, of course, leaving all Iran options on table - particularly the bombing ones.
Which Way Does It Go - Over The Cliff or Top of The World?
He doesn't give a shit about nose-diving ratings, he's got his hands on the wheel, his fingers on the buttons ... And he's going for broke ...
A Thelma and Louise, pedal-to-the-medal drive off the Constitutional cliff? ... A Cody Jarrett, Top-of-the-World-Ma scream, standing on a blazing and exploding Iranian nuclear reactor? ... Or a more fitting, Sam Peckinpah-inspired, Pike Bishop shoot out with Congress?
For me, I'd like to see, with a nice, lush, Bernard Hermann score, Cheney, sweating and panicked, on top of Mt. Rushmore, holding a trinket containing all the secret Energy Meeting Notes, and Secret Service Visitor Logs, being chased and hunted by Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson (hey, lay off, it's pretty close casting) and the good guys end up winning.
The only thing of it is, whose definition of good and evil do we go by?
Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Dickie Right Over ...
Cheney Defiant on Classified Material; Executive Order Ignored Since 2003
Rahm Emanuel To Cheney: Please Get The Heck Out Of The White House
Cheney: Neither Here Nor There?
Cheney Power Grab: Says White House Rules Don't Apply to Him
Its' A Cheneypalooza!
Kucinich announces impeachment charges against Vice President Cheney
White House Fiercely Divided; VP Cheney Wants State of Union Address Kept Private
Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song
Libby Verdict Has Bush, White House Urging Cheney Into Rehab; Sources Claim 'Can't Be Trusted He Won't Break"; Iraq Comments "Last Straw" and "Were Not An Enormous Success"
Smearing Like It's 2003
Why Dick Cheney Cracked Up
Cheney Briefly Hospitalized After Television Appearance Yesterday; Vice President Complained Of Dizziness After Relentless Spin Session on ‘Meet The Press’
Top Ten Cloves: Slogans and Tag Lines For Caffeine-Free Diet Sprite – If Dick Cheney Was Pitchman
New White House Press Strategy On VP Shooting Deemed "Smashing Success"; Expect More Reports From Average Citizens, Local Papers Breaking News; President May Board Up Press Room
Bush To Change Legal Landscape; White House Primed To Replace "Miranda" With New, "Cheney Decision"; Says Still Tough On Crime; Won't Be Applicable For Rounded-Up Terror Suspects - "That's What Patriot Act Is For"
Friday, June 22, 2007
Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Dickie Right Over ... Its' A Cheneypalooza!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Become a Cheney's Cheney ... Help The VP Build His Team, For The Most Gleaming of Brass Rings - Iran
We have a situation developing, with the Cheney side of our government all running around with puffed up tents in the crotch of their trousers, over the prospects of "hot conflict" with Iran, that there is talk of "insubordination against President Bush" and his wimpy diplomacy-first side of the government.
We'll set aside, for the moment, using the words "President Bush" and "diplomacy" in the same sentence.
Jackson Williams, on the Huffington Post, asked yesterday "Just who is Cheney's team these days, what with Scooter Libby headed to jail and Rummy off playing bridge? Well, the ranks have surely thinned as this blunder has gone on, but there is probably some recruitment of new blood taking place, too."
Where is the new blood coming from?
The Garlic, not wanting to be shown up as not supporting our troops, wants to lend a hand for this effort and has composed a Want Ad for the Office of Vice President, being that Monica Goodling resigned, and can't be sitting there any longer, wearing her BL armband (Bush Loyalist) when screening potential candidates.
Get yourself in the game, it's likely this position will be filled very quickly.
Position: Loyal, Hard-Nosed Neoconservative Yes-Man
Have you ever wanted to overthrow a foreign regime, start a war or tell a United States Senator to "go fuck yourself"?
Do you often find yourself sticking, obstinately, to a minority viewpoint, refusing to give in because you know, deep in your gut, you are correct - even when some panty-waist liberal is waving irrefutable evidence in your face?
If so, the Office of the Vice President has an exciting and rewarding career opportunity for you.
In the dynamic world of the nation's first "Shadow President", you will be in the vortex of domestic and world events, meeting with the nation's energy chiefs, or taking an overseas trips to berate foreign governments.
You may, at times find yourself holed-up in a genuine Secret Bunker, and you'll have the thrill of living through the Armageddon drills and running the country "the day after" with surreptitious weekend retreats.
And, you just may be on-board for the most gleaming of brass rings - Iran.
Qualifications
- Ability to write, bully, steal, fabricate, and/or otherwise generate intelligence supporting the Vice President's policies and vision
- Talent, in face of withering criticism, to be able to stay on message and repeat false claims
- No Conscious and no regrets in outing and exposing covert CIA agents
- Lying and the knack for placing blame on others are required skills for the position
** All candidates, to be considered for the position, will be required to sign a waiver, indicating the acceptance of going to prison in order to protect the Vice President should such an occurance manifest in carrying out your duties in the Office of the Vice President.
Contact, with cover letter and resume, Chief of Staff (and the original Cheney's Cheney) David Addington at vice_president@whitehouse.gov
Bonus Links
The Trouble With Cheney: He's Dumb
Cheney Sets Up Shadow Government In Area 51
Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
You Shouldn't Worry There, Dick ... Everyone Knows You're A Hard-Ass ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll
So what the little puke in the Oval Office calls himself "The Uniter" or "The Decider", and even "The Commander Guy".
You don't have to be so sensitive about it, as our Garlic Poll Voters seemed to think.
Everyone knows you're a hard-ass.
You are, in the spirit of the immigration debate going on, muy macho. You kick butt and expose names. You have a Secret Bunker. You bully people to give you the intelligence you want, so you can launch wars. You nailed CNN's Wolf Blitzer and then sent your wife in to slap him around some more. You go away weekends, with you old pal Rummy, for Doomsday weekends.
You earned the moniker of "Darth Vader", for Christ Sakes. You even have a protégé named after you - Cheney's Cheney!
That's about as hard an ass a hard-ass can get.
So chill out on the overseas stuff. Pitch in, and save some energy (unless, from your muy macho super-secret energy meetings, you're getting a deal or something). Do more walking, it'll help that old ticker of yours.
And, one other thing. The guys overseas don't really want to tell you.
They're gonna "yes" you to death because they're just marking time, They know you're on your way out, via, either impeachment, or indictment, or, somehow, you ride it out until January 2009.
The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll May 13 - May 19, 2007
Vice President Dick Cheney's recent trip to Iraq and Saudi Arabia was really about ...
1. Telling everyone, despite what the President has said, he, Dick Cheney is really "The Commander Guy" Tally 33%
2. The wife's book sales are dipping and just out working the stump, beef up the sales Tally 30%
3. Needing a good alibi, in the event something happened to George Tenet Tally 24%
4. Not wanting to get yelled at by those 11 Republican Congressmen Tally 12%
This week’s Poll - President Bush will get rid of Crony General Alberto Gonzales by ...
Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote
Bonus Links
Cheney's still dangerous
The Libby-Cheney Connection; Libby Testimony Raises More Questions About Cheney's Role In The CIA Leak Case
Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Breaking News! Cheney Bound By Terror Policy, Told To Not Come Home!
After Bomb Attempt, White House Tells Cheney To "Stay Away"
Belief "They Will Follow The Vice President Home"; Cheney To Get New Secret Bunker "Somewhere In Iraq"
A crises has enveloped the White House today, testing their mettle and "stick-to-itness", after a suicide bomber struck the Afghanistan compound Vice President Dick Cheney was visiting earlier this morning.
Following a flurry of meetings in the Oval Office, at a hastily called news conference, White House Spokesperson Tony Snow delivered the news that President Bush has ordered his Vice President to "stay away from Washington"
"We don't want him coming to the White House," a somber Snow continued. "As we know, the terrorists are likely to want to strike again, and may follow the Vice President home."
The attack, at the main gate of the Bagram Airfield in Afghanistan, killed 23 and wounded, at least 20 others.
"President Bush is convinced," offered a West Wing source that attended one of the meetings, "that Cheney will be followed back to Washington."
"He [the President] kept pointing to some kind of report on his desk, and saying over, and over, "If we leave, they will follow us", over and over," said the source.
"It was like a mantra."
President Bush, Cheney, and Republican Congressional leaders have repeatedly predicted that terrorists are poised to follow the U.S. Troops home, and wage battles in the streets of America.
Earlier this month, House Republican leader, Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) flatly offered “If we leave, they will follow us home. It’s that simple.”
"With such a high profile targert as the Vice President," Snow offered in his briefing, "we're very certain he would be followed back to the White House. After an analysis, the President decided - yes, he decided - that it just was too big a chance to take."
News of Cheney being ordered to stay away from Washington sent the stock market spiraling downward, losing over 500-points, before a minor comeback.
Cheney To Get Second Secret Bunker
Later, at a briefing in the Vice President's office, Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride downplayed having a "Vice President in exile" and indicated measures were being taken to keep Cheney in the daily decision process of the the government.
McBride offered, that within 90-minutes of the attack aimed at Cheney, the Army Corps of Engineers began, to replicate Vice President Cheney's Secret Bunker "somewhere in Iraq", though sources have told The Garlic that it will be within the secure walls of the Green Zone in Baghdad.
Should it be necessary, in his role as President of the Senate, Cheney will be allowed to cast the tie-breaking vote via video feed from his New Secret Bunker, already dubbed "Come And Get Me East" by the Secret Service.
Sources have told The Garlic that Vice President Chief of Staff David Addington is composing a new Signing Statement for President Bush to allow such a move, and that it will extend to Cheney's U.S.-based Secret Bunker, should he be able to get back into the country without being followed.
It's not clear if the White House is putting its' muscle behind the belief that the terrorists will follow the Vice President home, or if the President, and Cheney, is attempting to raise the ante in their threats against Iran.
Coincidently, Cheney broke from the Administration late last year, to form his own Iran Study Group.
Rice Gives Okay To Move
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice defended the move to keep Cheney away.
"It's not like we have some binding, historic document, that delineates the offices of government that we can refer to and deal with this situation, and we have to go out and create one," said the husband-less diplomat.
Signs that Cheney could be staying in his New Secret Bunker for some time were evidenced at Andrews Airforce Base, where 18-wheel trailer trucks, filled with Caffeine-Free Diet Sprite, were seen being loaded into giant cargo planes headed for Iraq.
The Secret Service has already dubbed Cheney's New Secret Bunker in Iraq "Come And Get Me East"
