Now That Would Have Been Some Marketing Meeting!

WOW!


If this marketing meeting had taken place, about the only thing that could rival it would be Lenny Bruce's "Religion Inc."


 


Seems the former Big Cheese of Al-Qaeda, Osama bin Laden, was fretting that his creation of terrorism and murder was losing its' marketing punch.


Osama wanted new name for al-Qaida to repair image

As Osama bin Laden watched his terrorist organization get picked apart, he lamented in his final writings that al-Qaida was suffering from a marketing problem. His group was killing too many Muslims and that was bad for business. The West was winning the public relations fight.


[snip]


The problem with the name al-Qaida, bin Laden wrote in a letter recovered from his compound in Pakistan, was that it lacked a religious element, something to convince Muslims worldwide that they are in a holy war with America.


Maybe something like Taifat al-Tawhed Wal-Jihad, meaning Monotheism and Jihad Group, would do the trick, he wrote. Or Jama'at I'Adat al-Khilafat al-Rashida, meaning Restoration of the Caliphate Group.


As bin Laden saw it, the problem was that the group's full name, al-Qaida al-Jihad, for The Base of Holy War, had become short-handed as simply al-Qaida. Lopping off the word "jihad," bin Laden wrote, allowed the West to "claim deceptively that they are not at war with Islam." Maybe it was time for al-Qaida to bring back its original name.

I don't know ...

Coca Cola didn't get very far with their "New Coke" efforts


Then again, how would you like to be the young ad exec handling the account?


But Wait! ... There's More!


OBL, also, was getting all Jack-Lemmon-Save-The-Tiger, bemoaning the younger generation;

In one letter sent to Zawahri within the past year or so, bin Laden said al-Qaida's image was suffering because of attacks that have killed Muslims, particularly in Iraq, officials said. In other journal entries and letters, they said, bin Laden wrote that he was frustrated that many of his trusted longtime comrades, whom he'd fought alongside in Afghanistan, had been killed or captured.


Using his courier system, bin Laden could still exercise some operational control over al-Qaida. But increasingly the men he was directing were younger and inexperienced. Frequently, the generals who had vouched for these young fighters were dead or in prison. And bin Laden, unable to leave his walled compound and with no phone or Internet access, was annoyed that he did not know so many people in his own organization.

Guess he didn't apply to be on 'Undercover Boss'.


This ranks up there, before we get too derisive, with our own government labeling the killing of innocent civilians as "collateral damage."


Cue up "Que Sera Sera" ...


 


Bonus Riffs


Spencer Ackerman: Contest: Pick al-Qaida’s New Name


Jeff Neumann: Osama Bin Laden Worried About Al Qaeda’s Image Problem


Blackwater Going All Prince On Us (But You Can Pronounce The Name)

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Disney Navy Seal Team 6 Movies To Be Released

Disney doesn't have to go far to exploit the killing of Osama bid Laden by the Navy Seal Team 6, they can just dip into the vast reservoir of their own film vault, and rework storylines 


News Item: Disney Trademarks “Seal Team 6″


10.  101 Navy Seal Team 6's (Navy Seal Team 6 disrupts Al Qaeda Suicide Dog attack)


  9.  Song of the Seal Team 6 (Human Interest Pic of first African-American in Seal Team 6)


  8.  Terrorists in the Outfield (Summer 2012 - Al Qaeda targets Game 7 of World Series, but Navy Seal Team 6 swoops in, foils plot and saves all the baseball players and fans)


  7.  That Darn Osama! (Navy Seal Team 6 adopts stray Islamic cat that leads them to Osama bin Laden)


  6.  The Shaggy Seal Team 6 (Navy Seal Team 6 shape-shifts into Old English Sheep dogs and herd all the terrorists into jail)


  5.  Honey, I Shrunk Osama Bin Laden (After accidentally shrinking Osama bid Laden, Navy Seal Team 6 gets shrunk to hunt down, and kill him)


  4.  Who Framed Osama bin Laden? (First Animated Navy Seal Team 6 pic; Bob Hoskins returns as the private detective and helps Navy Seal Team 6 work through an army of Disney, and other, cartoon characters, to track down Osama bin Laden and kill him)


  3.  The Absent-Minded Jihadist (With nod to original pic, Navy Seal Team 6 discover old Pentagon "Flubber" files and develop Flubber Airplanes, and other weapons, to hunt down and kill Osama bin Laden


  2.  20,000 Terrorists Under The Sea (Water adventure, borrowing from "Pirates of the Caribbean' - Disney sees multiple sequels with this) 


  1. The Navy Seal 6 King (Another animated pic, staying close to original, telling tale of young Navy Seal 6 team member, destined to become team leader, but has to deal with disgruntled team member, overcoming numerous plots to kill him, before youngster beats him back and emerges victorious, with other Team 6 members bowing to him)


 




Bonus Riffs


Richard K. Barry: Is Disney really going to trademark "SEAL Team 6"?


Daily Mail: Disney trademarks 'Seal Team 6' for toys, games, movies, snow globes and Christmas stockings TWO days after daring Bin Laden mission


John Cook: Disney Trademarks ‘SEAL Team 6′

Can He Even Pronounce The Word "Souffle"?

One wonders, if during the 2004 Campaign, against John Kerry, if The Commander Guy was chowing down on souffles?


Then again, for that matter, can he pronounce the word "souffle"?


Anyways, the blogosphere is buzzing that Mr. Mission Accomplished was in a posh Dallas French restaurant, eating a souffle when he got the call that OBL was mowed down.


Go read Steve M., at 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' for a great post on it.


And, we have to give "Line-of-the-Day" to Blue Texan, over on Firedoglake;

Pretty easy to see why W. ditched his fake ranch out in the sticks for the poshy ‘burbs of Dallas. It’s so difficult to find decent French cuisine in Crawford these days.

Considering he gave up on capturing Bin Laden, did he even desire a phone call ....


 

Breaking! - Al Qaeda Seeks Sainthood for OBL

Sources tell The Garlic that instense discussions have been underway between the Vatican and representatives of Al Qaeda, seeking for Pope Benedict XVI to begin the process of Beatification for Osama bin Laden to become a saint.


Representatives of Al Qaeda were in attendance at yesterdays Beatification ceremony for Pope John Paul II.


A major obstacle, beyond the traditional five-year waiting period, is there is no evidence that Bin Laden sexually abused young boys, or protected those that did.


The Vatican is insisting that Al Qaeda stipulate to this before any Beatification processes can be started, and fast-tracked, as was the case for Pope John Paul II.


More, as this story develops.





Bonus Riffs


Bin Laden is late pope's 'miracle': Peru leader


Tim Rose: WikiLeaks: Osama bin Laden 'protected' by Pakistani security


Nicole Belle: Wanker Extraordinaire Joe Scarborough: Obama’s Base Didn’t Want Him To Catch Bin Laden


My Boy Lollipop

Vatican Discounts "Bonfire Pope"; Says Flames "Not Hunched Over Enough"

Retro Garlic: Hey, We Had That Idea First!

This isn't the first time a news event has converged with something we had here on The Garlic, and, we love it, everytime it happens.

Today's installment is a doozy!



Could Airborne Bears Catch Bin Laden?

Could parachute-wearing bears sniff out Osama bin Laden?

That's one suggestion the Pentagon has received from someone who noted, quite correctly, that a bear's sense of smell is much more powerful than a bloodhound's.

"Overnight, Parachute some bears into areas [bin Laden] might be," the innovator wrote. "Attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing."

The bears-in-the-air idea, and scores of others, came from people who clicked on the "contact us" button on the Defense Department's Web site, which allows the general public to ask questions or make suggestions.

Not that the Pentagon needs any particular help in the idea department. Not long ago, for example, the agency spent $2 million to find out whether honey bees could be relied upon to sniff out roadside bombs.

Go check out the article, as there is more off-the-wall suggestions.

And, we should note, perhaps, inadvertently, the Pentagon let out a clue to a long-standing problem.

There were experimenting with honeybees?

Ah, yes, The Retro Part;

Developing Story - Polar Bears Added To Iraq Options ...Bush Administration Wavering On Polar Bears; Considering Employing In Iraq, War Against Terror ...Rove Claims He Also Has “The Science”, Says Bears “Will Do Fine In Desert Heat”

Bonus Riffs

Andrew Sullivan: Colbert Bait

Balk, at The Awl: Send In The Ursine Parachute Brigade!

Breaking News! ... With DisneyBaghdad, Bush Says “Nobody Wins Hearts and Minds Better Than Disney ...Disney, With Secret Contract, Working With White House, Military On Building Baghdad Moats ...‘Pirates of the Caliphate’, Other Attractions To Mask Security Measures; State Dept. Touts “DisneyBaghdad Will Pay For Itself”

Geesh! ... They Could Have Used Wooly Willy ...

Oh man, this is a good one.

I suppose, since The Commander Guy, after his woody with the bullhorn, and all his "Bring it on!" and "Dead or Alive!", effectively, punted, and gave up the hunt, the FBI had to start somewhere when looking for the most notorious terrorist, this side of Cheney-Rumsfeld Smash-and-Grab Syndicate, Osama bin Laden.

But did they have to start in the Spanish Parliament?



Spanish MP's photo used for Osama Bin Laden poster

Gaspar Llamazares said he would no longer feel safe travelling to the US after his hair and parts of his face appeared on a most-wanted poster.

He said the use of a real person for the mocked-up image was "shameless".

The FBI admitted a forensic artist had obtained certain facial features "from a photograph he found on the internet".

[snip]

The FBI claimed to have used "cutting edge" technology, but Mr Llamazares said it showed the "low level" of US intelligence services and could cause problems if he was wrongly identified as the Saudi.

"Bin Laden's safety is not threatened by this but mine certainly is," he said, adding that he was considering taking legal action.

Later, an FBI spokesman told the BBC that it was "aware of the similarities in hairline features of the age-progressed photograph of Osama Bin Laden, posted on the web yesterday, and that of an existing photograph of a Spanish public official".

"When producing age-progressed photographs, forensic artists typically select features from a database of stock reference photographs to create the new image."

Holy Cow!

With their army of lab monkeys, and bloated budgets, some FBI schmuck does what I, and thousands of other bloggers do on a daily basis - head out to Google Images!

We could slash that budget by about 90% and just job out the work to some 7th grade somewhere in the country.

Or, they expense-account it, for about two-bucks ...

They could just have used Wooly Willy.





Bonus FBI Boners

Chris in Paris: FBI uses photo of Spanish MP to make updated bin Laden poster

Steve Hynd: FBI Alters Spanish MP's Picture, Calls Him Bin Laden

Paul Carr: NSFW: Nobody suspects the Spanish politician


Bonus Bonus

Retro Garlic: J. Edgars Gay Dating Service?

D.B. Cooper Is Barbarosa ... Or Is It Barbarosa Is D.B. Cooper?

Top Ten Cloves: Difficulties DC Comics' Batman May Have Fighting Osama bin Laden

Good Satire Alert - Al-Qaeda Announces Move To CD/DVD

We got hip, recently, to the site 'Cap News', which bills itself as "News satire and parody, covering comedy and humor from politics to sports and health to technology."

For our money, it is sharper, and more sophisticated than 'The Onion', targeting current events daily, versus the latters' "Average Man Shocked To Discover He Has Above-Average Problems"-type stories.

And today, 'Cap News' delivered another howler;

Al-Qaeda Announces Move To CD/DVD

SAN DIEGO, Calif. (CAP) - Following continued complaints of poor audio quality and amateurish video, al Qaeda has announced a deal with Sony Corp. to begin distributing its terrorist messages in the CD/DVD format.

"We're proud to announce this strategic initiative with one of the world's leading terrorist organizations," Sony CEO Sir Howard Stringer said in a prepared statement. "We understand the extreme importance of communication in their industry and the explosive risks of failure and are prepared to meet those head on."

Go to 'Cap News' to check out the full piece, as well as others.

And, we recommend signing up for their daily email.

Hey Media, Get An Answer To This - Please! ... More Flintstones-Jetsons Part II

Well, we offered up our initial impressions and key points last evening, right after the Townhall Debate, a sort of raw notes riff.

Today's light didn't, necessarily, cast any different shadows on it.

Yet, there are two points we want to bring up.

Back in January (we were early with it), in our 'The Bob Dole For The New Millennium', we posted;

For, if they get Obama, it will be the Kennedy-Nixon Debate every single day of the campaign, McCain tripping over his Father Time beard, a skeletal-dust-filled suit laying in front of the voting stations by the time election day rolls around.

The youth and exuberance, the oratory skills, of Obama will paint the Straight Talk Express bus into a hearse, McCain's campaign posters into The Picture of Dorian Gray.

And that's just the visuals.

McCain's going to have an arduous campaign, having to carry The Commander Guy on this back throughout.

In July, our 'Why Do You Think We've Been Calling Him "Stumblin' and Bumblin"?' offered;

WTF is going on with Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain?

Jesus, he might as well just start walking around in a bathrobe, like that old Mafia guy did, to play out that he was crazy.

Just ride around in the Dead Campaign Express, make some stops (kicking away the empty beer bottles to exit), shuffle around in the robe and slippers, shake a few hands, maybe pick up a few Slim Jims at a convenience store ...Toss out a few bon mots on his heroism, his POW days, as he rips off a piece of Slim Jim, perhaps dribbling some of the dark juice on his bathrobe.

I mean, he's down to just makin' shit up now ... Seemingly not caring what he says, how it sounds, what it looks like ... Just blathering on like ... Well ... Like an old guy shuffling around in a bathrobe, muttering incoherently.

After two debates, the visuals are getting stronger and stronger, and, by way of the sleaze his campaign is pumping out, they are down to "just makin' shit up".

But there is something from last evening that needs to be looked at and questions need to be asked - and answered

(And, no it isn't his Phil Rizutto "Money Store" stunt, of dropping in a new policy item of magically ending the financial crisis by just buying up all the bad mortgages - Brad DeLong and Kevin Drum are having fun with that one).

No, it is Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain's false, phony, Mission Accomplished II project.

Rather than waiting for the next administration (Obama's) to come into office, and Senator McCain skipping Inauguration Day, to work on his "How To Capture Osama bin Laden For Dummies" manuscript, maybe the MSM, now that they are not in the donut-buying mood, pin down Stumblin' Bumblin Johnnie and have him articulate just what his "secret plan" is.

He blathered it in the debate last night, again, rattling off, as he done numerous times in the past year, cadence-like, less credibly that he actual does have a plan, and more like a puffed-up tough guy, convenient, jingoistic Talkin' Point.

"I'll get Osama bin Laden, my friends. I'll get him. I know how to get him. I'll get him no matter what and I know how to do it."

Other times using, he's embellished it with having to chase bin Laden "to the Gates of Hell" (which we've turned into a punchline here on The Garlic, saying "That he has chased his Vice Presidential choice to the Gates of the Arctic, and came back with Sarah Palin).

You can go HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE to see Fly Boy's earlier babblings on this.

And there was the Keith Olbermann 'Special Comment', from this past Sept. 11th that shredded McCain over this.

Olbermann: McCain would 'rather win than catch bin Laden'

(You can also watch the video it in this article)

He quoted a statement by McCain -- one of many similar claims -- that "I know how to improve our capabilities so that we will capture Osama Bin Laden ... I know how to do it."

Maybe, with having all that running and chasing in earlier editions of it, perhaps he hadn't fully developed the plan at that point, for now, as he did last night, he was boasting that "I'll get him. I know how to get him. I'll get him no matter what and I know how to do it."

And for some inexplicable reason, no one seems to have challenged him on it.

Not the Media, Obama Campaign, Defense Department, or the Bush Grindhouse.

Jesus, you would have thought that, if he had this "secret plan", The Commander Guy would have put the screws to him for it - that would be the legacy, all wrapped up in a big bow.

Is he looking to copyright it, get royalties every time his buddy, the Golden Boy General Petreaus uses the plan, over there in Iraq, Afghanistan or Pakistan?

Did his wife, Cindy, lift it off the Internet, like she's done with those secret family recipes, and he doesn't want to make any waves?

Or, is it just like much of the rest of his campaign, empty rhetoric, an applause line inserted into a stump speech.

Listen up Obama Campaign!

As the Dead Campaign Express, and the Wasilla Whiz Kid, beating the drum on Obama's "terrorist" connections, and befriending "terrorists", this here is an opportunity to put the Keating Five Alum in the same boat.

If (and as we surmise above, it is unlikely, as a good friend put it, it's like Nixon saying he had a "secret plan" to end the Vietnam War), Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnnie does have a plan, and does know how to capture Osama bin Laden, and he is withholding that information, isn't that something like being an "appeaser", or "wanting the terrorists to win", even, by implication, befriending a terrorist?

Let's go folks, start asking the questions.

It's a valid question, emanating directly out of his own statements, made, repeatedly, over time.

Put him on the spot, make'em squirm, tugging at his collar until you get answers from him, definitive, logical, answers, and not, as is often the case with the Debunked Maverick and Mommy Moose, simply regurgitated stump speech.

In fact, you can even use, tweak, some of his other words to browbeat him with;

"We will make them famous, and we will know your plans ...We will know your plans!.

Bonus Flintstones-Jetsons Riffs

Barry Crimmins: Town hall downfall

No More Mister Nice Blog: McCAIN'S BRAIN

TBogg: The revolution will not be televised ... But it will be debated

Joan Walsh: This town hall didn't help John McCain

Oil That Is, Black Gold, Tehran Tea ...

Osama bin Laden 1
Paul Wolfowitz 0



















Now, despite a Bush crony swinging his own deal in Kurdistan, and the other enormo-oil companies getting an "E" ticket back into the country, our invasion and occupation of Iraq was not - repeat - was not about the oil.

After all, Lover Boy Paul Wolfowitz had already pegged Iraq's oil for paying for the invasion and occupation.

Hard lesson for Wolfie, on not doing any comparative shopping, but, then again, those that have to be the first to get the new, latest/greatest, thing, always pay a higher price.

So, what do we make of this item, espied yesterday on Think Progress;

FLASHBACK: Ten Years Ago, Bin Laden Demanded Barrel Of Oil Should Cost $144

In a 1998 interview, Osama bin Laden — the terrorist organizer of 9/11 who still roams free — listed as one of his many grievances against the U.S. that Americans “have stolen $36 trillion from Muslims” by purchasing oil from Persian Gulf countries at low prices. The real price of a barrel of oil should be $144, bin Laden demanded.

Holy Cow!

Here's a headline from just the other day;

Oil passes, settles above $145 for first time; As holiday weekend approaches gas is $4.10 a gallon — another record

Light, sweet crude for August delivery settled at a record $145.29 Thursday on the New York Mercantile Exchange, up $1.72 from the previous day. Earlier in the session, the contract rose to $145.85 a barrel, also a new high.

Oil has set trading or closing records in each of the last six trading sessions.

You'd almost think for a minute, that OBL was working for the Carlyle Group, or something, pumping up Daddy Bush's portfolio.

That must have sent Jim Cramer ballistic, probably pushing the buttons on all his sound effects.

Or, maybe, a new tune

The Terrorist Hillbillies

Come and listen to a story about a man named Osama
Still on the run with a boatload of karma,
Then one day he was plannin' a new wreck
And up came a bubblin' the prices from OPEC

Oil that is, black gold, Tehran tea.

Well the first thing you know Osama's an oil seer,
Talibanfolk said "Osama move away from here"
Said "Tora Bora is the place you ought to stand"
So they loaded up the terrorists and moved to Pakistan

Hills, that is. Mountain Caves, Tribal Villages ...

Most unfortunately, all the ones with the "schoolin', the Jethro's, are in the Bush Grindhouse...

Or Congress ...


Bonus Riffs

Bill Moyers and Michael Winship: It Was Oil, All Along

Yves Smith: Bush Administration Role in Iraq Oil Deals Confirmed

NYT: Bush Administration Role in Iraq Oil Deals Confirmed

TimesOnLine UK: Alan Greenspan claims Iraq war was really for oil

Bonus Bonus

The Beverly Hillbillies 1962, 1971

Wanted Dead Or ... Ahh, The Hell With It .. I'll Let The Next President Get'em ...

Maybe, instead of having him classified as a terrorist, the FBI's #1 Wanted Man, The Commander Guy can call Osama bin Laden a tax cut, that way, he'll be motivated, like all-get-out, to see that the mission gets accomplished.

Not exactly a head-shaker, being his consistent detachment, his always-growing disinterest in capturing Osama bin Laden, going back to, well, first, the left turn he took out of Afghanistan to attack and occupy Iraq, his closing the CIA office that was after the #1 terrorist, his admission that Bid Laden's capture wasn't a "top priority", and now, to this;

Bush: Bin Laden Will Be ‘Gotten By A President’ (But Probably Not This One)

"It has been 2,326 days since 9/11, and the chief mastermind behind those attacks, Osama bin Laden, has not yet been captured. “If we could find the cave he is in, I promise you — he would be brought to justice or wherever he’s hiding,” President Bush tells Fox News in “George W. Bush: Fighting to the Finish,” a documentary scheduled to air Sunday night. Fox reports:

Bush says in the interview he’s confident bin Laden ultimately will be found.

“He’ll be gotten by a president,” Bush says.

And to critics who say he hasn’t done enough to find bin Laden, Bush is blunt:

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” he says."

And neither does he!

Now, this isn't to be confused, with the profound and proficient Lying Operation that has been conducted.

When it came to fearmongering, or scoring political points for a political victory, The Commander Guy didn't shy away from putting on his ten-gallon hat and six-shooter and he, and his henchmen and woman, attempting to scare the bejeezes out of everyone, that Bin Laden and/or other terrorists were going to pop out of your closet.

In fact, the Bush Grindhouse continually inflated the size and importance of Al Qaeda in Iraq, whenever it deemed to serve their talking points.

Keith Olbermann pointed out the Wednesday evening, the Center for Public Integrity report on the lying of the Bush Grindhouse, noted the spikes in the number of lies, based on the calendar of political events, and/or Grindhouse scandals

Opening the segment, a wry observation;

OLBERMANN: If you have ever said this administration lied to us 1,000 times about the Iraq, the war and al Qaeda, it turns out you owe Mr. Bush an apology. In our third story tonight, a new study confirming the administration only lied about those vital matters 935 times.

Then, with Rachel Maddow, of Air America, and a newly-anointed MSNBC political pundit;

OLBERMANN: Only 935. In gambling terms the under won. Who knew?

MADDOW: Looking back, before today, before we had a bullion keyword searchable database of lies about to lead up to the Iraq War. You had the sense that we were lied to a lot about weapons of mass destruction, about Saddam having links to al Qaeda and to 9/11.

But having all of these instances in a list now, literally in a searchable database of lies kind of plugs up the memory hole in a way.

It means that we have the evidence at hand to rebut the assertion every time somebody asserts that oh the intelligence was a little fuzzy or I never made that sort of claims, 935 lies may feel low or they may feel high, but they are all provable, documents lies that can‘t disappear again that can‘t disappear in a public record or down the memory hole.

OLBERMANN: So that‘s 532 occasions so it‘s basically a two to one ratio to lies to opportunities for lies. It‘s kind of spectacular in its own way.

MADDOW: Compound sentences is what I think that means.

OLBERMANN: The center did not include false implications. Indirect follow-ups like Iraq has dangerous weapons. Or Iran has dangerous weapons, for that matter. The Republican echoing, actual other Republicans outside the administration saying the same things. We‘ve got all the senators and congressmen are not included in this list. Fox News chicken little moments are not included in this. But what base is there for claiming that this was planned deceit as opposed to innocent, albeit voluminous incompetence?

MADDOW: Well, I spoke with the director of the Center for Public Integrity about that fact today. I said how do you get from there were a lot of lies to the lies were plants. He said one of the things that they found was they organized this information was that there were these really noticeable quantitative spikes in the number of lies being told. At certain times they were lying a lot faster than other times. For example in the lead-up for the Congressional authorization, midterm elections. At specific politically moments, the lies got faster.

There is no way to explain that unless they were lying to accomplish the political objective

Much like the 160,000+ troops in Iraq that he will dump on the next President, The Commander Guy will exit the Grindhouse, an utter failure in HIS War on Terror, leaving the Osama bin Laden problem as well.

After all, The Commander Guy closed the CIA office in charge of hunting bin Laden (which he, a few days later, attempted to deny), then, a few months later, telling rightwing pundit Fred Barnes "Bin Laden Is Not A Top Priority Use of American Resources".

This, after his chicken-heart, phony bravado, following the attacks of September 11th, with his swaggering "I want justice," Bush said. "And there's an old poster out West… I recall, that said, 'Wanted, Dead or Alive.'"

Hmmm ... I wonder, have they raised enough funds, for the Bush Presidential Library, to have a wing of it house all the lies? Or, is that question, about where to house his lies and his Presidential Library, a redundant one?


The Commander Guy's Legacy

Bush uses bin Laden to defend Iraq war policy

Digby: Hyping the intelligence again?

Juan Cole: Bush's incompetence gives al-Qaida new life; The White House hints at military action as the terror organization regroups in northern Pakistan and the Musharraf government begins to wobble.

Sidney Blumenthal: Cooking the intelligence, again; The latest government estimate of the terrorist threat is just a rehash of the same old script, produced under pressure to support the president's efforts to sell the Iraq war.

Why the Bush Administration Didn't Care About Al Qaeda


An empty bullhorn

Good Post Alert: Juan Cole's "Top Ten Myths about Iraq 2007"

I suppose, Juan Cole has already started taking notes for next years' list, which will probably be "Top Ten Myths About Democracy In Pakistan".

This hit on Wednesday, before all the news stopped so our media, and presidential candidates, could bloviate about the events in Pakistan, and on Benizar Bhutto's murder, so it probably didn't get as much play as it should have.

While the Bush Grindhouse has held tightly to its' spin, that Iraq is the end-all, dead-center, red-painted-bullseyes for the War Against Terrorism, they will, likely, soon have that ripped from their fingers, overtaken by the Pakistan story and how OSAMA BIN LADEN and AL QAEDA ARE SAID TO BE BASED IN PAKISTAN!

And unlike Iraq (or Iran), Pakistan does have nuclear weapons (Psst ... We helped them get them), so as much as the Neocon choir sings the Iraq aria, the hip-hop-blaring boom box is sitting in Pakistan, and it's only going to get louder.

Read (and suggest you bookmark for future reference) Juan Cole's "Top Ten Myths about Iraq 2007"

Townsend's Lack of Knowledge On Al Qaeda Gets Her Bounced

Sources Say Can't Be Sure She Would Be Able To Get Iran Info Straight

Sources tell The Garlic, that despite the platitudes showering her exit, Assistant to the President for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism Frances Fragos Townsend is being bounced from the administration for "Not knowing jack shit about al Qaeda"

Townsend announced today that she is leaving her post in the Bush Grindhouse.

"With the build-up against Iran in full operations," added the source, an administrative aide inside the West Wing of the Bush Grindhouse, "a lot of people here are really nervous that she can't get the info straight or stay-on-message."

Townsend first drew the ire of The Commander Guy, back in July, when, in a press conference, Townsend admitted "I don’t know’ if Al Qaeda was in Iraq before the war."

Then, in September, Townsend was obtusely dismissive of Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda, after a new video was released two days before the sixth anniversary of Sept. 11th.

"Let's remember almost six years now since September the 11th, we have not seen much of bin Laden," she said on "Fox News Sunday," pointing out that this was the third audio or video recording released of him in as many years. "This is about the best he can do. This is a man on the run, from a cave, who is virtually impotent other than these tapes."

While The Decider Guy was said to be disappointed, Vice President Dick Cheney reportedly threw a tantrum and tirade, railing against Townsend that "she's screwing up all our plans."

Cheney became an unrelenting critic of Townsend, worried that she would not be able to carry through on the pre-invasion spin and lies on Iran.

Unconfirmed reports claim that the tensions between Townsend and Cheney peaked over the weekend, when, after asked by Cheney for an assessment on the deteriorating situation in Pakistan, Townsend responded back to the Vice President that she "didn't know if President Pervez Musharraf was in Pakistan before he became President."

Another unconfirmed report has Townsend moving over to the Rudy Guiliani campaign, to begin, immediately, obfuscating when, if at all, former, and now indicted aide, Bernard Kerik was ever in Guiliani's mayoral administration.

Bonus Fumbling Fran Links

Think Progress: Townsend’s goodbye to Bush: ‘You are such a man.’

Crooks and Liars: Denial Ain’t Just a River in Egypt, Folks

















There is rampant speculation that Townsend will, sooner, rather than later, start questioning if she was ever in the Bush Administration

Yet Another "I'm Shocked ... Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here ..."

Jeez ... They're not even trying to hide it, to act surprised ... Make an effort at not being blatantly overt ...

In our latest installment of "I'm Shocked ... Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here..." (Second one this month), the Bush Grindhouse is up to it's usual tricks ...

In the AM

Bush Wants $46 Billion More for Wars

In the PM

Worried Bin Laden Urges Iraq Insurgents to 'Unite'

That's right, boys and girls, just as The Commander Guy digs in to batter the Congress again with his Invasion and Occupation Funding requests, right off the presses comes a brand-spanking-new Osama bin Laden tape.

And we have to give the spinmeisters some credit ... They're updating their fearmongering ...

Since we've been beaten over the head, via the PetraeusReportPalooza, on how the surging is working, and things are getting better in Iraq ... And those little bon mots tossed around last week, with no real ownership, but just enough oomph to get it in the headlines, on how AIQ, to use the lingo, is all but vanquished ...

So, they can't have OBL (more lingo usage) spouting off with new threats, boastfully. They've gotta have him sweating ... Nervous ... And, as you see above, it's a "Worried Bin Laden" today ...

I can just picture Cheney, and Hadley and assorted other Neocronies, sitting around, putting the finishing touches on it.

"Concerned ...Let's say he's concerned"

"No, Mr. Vice President, we need something more telling ... Remember, the surge is working, we've got them on the run."

"You're right ... You're right ..."

"Let's say he's worried ... Worried conveys just enough weakness that our people can embellish on, in the PR's, etc ... We can tweak all the numbers to show that he has cause to be worried, etc ... Let's us show our strength ... "

And then they all clink their Caffeine-Free Diet Sprite cans together in a toast ...

I know it’s a week early, but much like when the little children come around in their Halloween costumes (rumor has the "No Health Insurance" is the hottest get-up), try to act scared and surprised ... You want to make them feel good.

Bonus They're Out There Links

Crooks and Liars: Bush Says No To Children And Yes To War - Bin Laden Tape Shows Up Just In Time

Think Progress: Days After Claiming U.S. Less Safe Due To Iraq War, Counterterrorism Chief Suddenly Resigns

Truthout: Olbermann: Bush Used Bogus Terror Threat to Scare Votes for FISA Bill

Crooks and Liars: Keith Olbermann Updates The Nexus Of Terror And Politics - Creating Terror Scares

Leave Freddie Alone, He Knows His Symbolism - As Good As The Red Paint On An Old Pick-Up Truck

Well, he is an actor, and he does know how, and when, to hit his marks.

The Aqua Velva Man, in all of one day of being - finally - an official candidate for the Republican nomination for President, poked a stick into The Commander Guys', as well as the entire right-wing freak show, beehive, on the latest videotape from the still-hanging-on-the-wall Wanted Poster, Osama bin Laden, by characterizing it as;

"Bin Laden is more symbolism than anything else," Thompson said while campaign in Iowa Friday. "I think it demonstrates to people once again that we're in a global war."

WOW!

That's enough to get kicked out of the RNC, and have your bathroom stall privileges revoked.

But they need to lay off Freddie.

He's a pro at symbolism ... Just ask'em about his red pick-up truck...

Bonus Big Guy Links

Media Matters: Wash. Post, CNN reported on Thompson's pickup truck without noting it was a leased campaign prop

Glenn Greenwald: Chris Matthews on Fred Thompson's sexiness and smells

Boston Globe: Not all would put a heroic sheen on Thompson's Watergate role

Breaking News! Thompson Responds To FEC Charge, Claiming He's Now Moving Into "Testing Executive Privilege" Phase; Also Invokes "The Cheney Principle", Saying "He's Not Part of The Campaign"

Juan Cole: Bush's incompetence gives al-Qaida new life

Newsweek: The Ongoing Hunt for Osama bin Laden; Into Thin Air

The Aqua Velva Man

News In Brief - 24 October 2005

New Tape From Al Qaeda Suggests Following NBA With Dress Code

Bin Laden Calls For "More Professionalism"; Suits and Ties When On The Clock

Intelligence agencies, The Garlic learned today, are examining a new tape from Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin-Laden, in which he appears agitated and is calling for a dress code for his followers.

Citing the new NBA dress code issued last week by Commissioner David Stern, bin-Laden says, according to a source who as seen the videotape, that he wants his followers to look "more professional" as they go about their terror missions.

"He definitely looks agitated and distressed," said the source.

Bin-Laden appears in the video in a Calvin Klein tuxedo, and has a walking stick. Intelligence agents are examining the tape for clues if the walking stick is part of his new formal ensemble, or if the Al-Qaeda leader is suffering from an illness or injury.

"It looks like a European-cut suit," says Paula Malady, a analyst for the think tank All Things Terror, which specializes in Middle East affairs, who has seen excerpts of the tape. "Could be London or Paris, so that raises the question if bin-Laden has the ability to travel or, if he's doing mail-order."

In the tape, bin-Laden lays down a dress code of suit and tie attire, with polished dress shoes. No neck jewelry or rings are allowed and for those terrorist that don't comply with the edict, bin-Laden threatens harsh penalties, including the removal from the suicide bomb roster.

"He'll get compliance," says Malady. "Being taken off the suicide bomb list is like a slap in the face to Allah, so these guys will clean up their act."

Malady says this new tape is likely to stretch intelligence agencies thin, as now tailors around the world will have to be researched and monitored.