Monday, November 19, 2007

Townsend's Lack of Knowledge On Al Qaeda Gets Her Bounced

Sources Say Can't Be Sure She Would Be Able To Get Iran Info Straight

Sources tell The Garlic, that despite the platitudes showering her exit, Assistant to the President for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism Frances Fragos Townsend is being bounced from the administration for "Not knowing jack shit about al Qaeda"

Townsend announced today that she is leaving her post in the Bush Grindhouse.

"With the build-up against Iran in full operations," added the source, an administrative aide inside the West Wing of the Bush Grindhouse, "a lot of people here are really nervous that she can't get the info straight or stay-on-message."

Townsend first drew the ire of The Commander Guy, back in July, when, in a press conference, Townsend admitted "I don’t know’ if Al Qaeda was in Iraq before the war."

Then, in September, Townsend was obtusely dismissive of Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda, after a new video was released two days before the sixth anniversary of Sept. 11th.

"Let's remember almost six years now since September the 11th, we have not seen much of bin Laden," she said on "Fox News Sunday," pointing out that this was the third audio or video recording released of him in as many years. "This is about the best he can do. This is a man on the run, from a cave, who is virtually impotent other than these tapes."
While The Decider Guy was said to be disappointed, Vice President Dick Cheney reportedly threw a tantrum and tirade, railing against Townsend that "she's screwing up all our plans."

Cheney became an unrelenting critic of Townsend, worried that she would not be able to carry through on the pre-invasion spin and lies on Iran.

Unconfirmed reports claim that the tensions between Townsend and Cheney peaked over the weekend, when, after asked by Cheney for an assessment on the deteriorating situation in Pakistan, Townsend responded back to the Vice President that she "didn't know if President Pervez Musharraf was in Pakistan before he became President."

Another unconfirmed report has Townsend moving over to the Rudy Guiliani campaign, to begin, immediately, obfuscating when, if at all, former, and now indicted aide, Bernard Kerik was ever in Guiliani's mayoral administration.

Bonus Fumbling Fran Links

Think Progress: Townsend’s goodbye to Bush: ‘You are such a man.’

Crooks and Liars: Denial Ain’t Just a River in Egypt, Folks

There is rampant speculation that Townsend will, sooner, rather than later, start questioning if she was ever in the Bush Administration

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