News Item: Iraqis Order Blackwater out of Iraq -- But Will It Leave?
10. Have them reassigned to Britney Spears
9. Let them stay, but downgrade them to details of just the dog-and-pony, Congressional delegation, shows
8. Announce new mandatory screening of all security personnel for prostrate cancer
7. It might cost a little extra, but see if the sheiks and clerics from Anbar are up for another task
6. President Bush, to save face, can get them to leave by just giving them all really nice, embossed Return On Success certificates
5. Charge that they were in the hotel room with O.J. Simpson
4. The one, sure way; Lobby President Bush to tell Blackwater that they're doing "A heckuva job"
3. Bring accusation that all Blackwater people were tapping there feet and waving their hands under stalls in latrines
2. Take a page from Operation Just Cause and start blasting the same music that drove Noriega out of Panama
1. Call in the University of Florida Campus Police
Bonus Blackwater USA Links
TruthOut: Blackwater Heavies Sue Families of Slain Employees for $10 Million in Brutal Attempt to Suppress Their Story
The Nation/Jeremy Scahill: Bush's Shadow Army
TruthOut: Phantom Army