New Garlic Song: Everything's Coming Up Iraq!

He still has some tough sledding, selling this Iraq thing.

And he pulled out all the stops last week ... The PetraeusReportPalooza... The prime-time, 36-country, extravaganza ...

He got the headlines he wanted, but it still ain't flying off the shelves.

The Garlic, as we so often have, knows exactly what to do.

The Commander Guy needs music!

High School Musical 2 is sweeping the country ... Senators are tapping their toes ...

He should have given the speech from the rotunda ... Tails and top hat, the military orchestra tucked off to the side, floor waxed and shining like a Presidential Medal of Freedom Award...

It's a classic ... Think Ethel Merman... Rosalind Russell... Belt it out!

Everything's Coming Up Iraq!

The Commander Guy
[Speaking] Finish? We're just beginning and there's no one to stop me at this time!
I had a dream, a dream about you, Petraeus
It's gonna come true, Petraeus
They think that we're through, but Petraeus,

I'll be swell! I'll be great!
Gonna have the whole Congress on the plate!
Starting here, Ending never,
Petraeus, everything's coming up Iraq!

Clear the decks! Clear the tracks!
I've got nothing to do but relax.
Blow a benchmark. Take a bow.
Petraeus, everything's coming up Iraq!

Now's my inning. Stand the Congress on it's ear!
Set it spinning! That'll be just the beginning!
Curtain up! Light the lights!
I've got nothing to hit but the heights!
I'll be swell! I'll be great!
I can tell. Just you wait.
That Freedom Institute I talk about is due!
Petraeus, everything's coming up Iraq for me and for you!

I can do it, all I need is some spin.
I can do it, Petraeus is gonna see to it!
Curtain up! Light the lights!
I got nothing to hit but the heights!
I can tell, wait and see.
There's the Neocons! Follow me!
And nothing's gonna stop us 'til we're through!
Petraeus, everything's coming up Iraq and daffodils!
Everything's coming up sunshine and Iraq!
Everything's gonna be bright lights and Iraq!
Everything's coming up Iraq for me and for you!

Listen to a clip of Rosalind Russell singing 'Everything's Coming Up Roses'