The Garlic: Geraldo Rivera

News Item: Malkin quits The O’Reilly Factor.

10. Touch up the replica Internment Camp she's built in her backyard

9. Instead of taking straw polls, she'll be more productive and build more straw men

8. Can now have the John Doe meetings at her house

7. More time to stalk innocent American families, who may, or may not, be receiving government aid

6. Prank call suicide hot-lines and just giggles ‘Boo-Freakin-Hoo’

5. Try on different blonde wigs, so maybe the Conservatives will like her better than Ann Coulter

4. Secretly go shopping at Crate & Barrel

3. Sit with her Voodoo dolls of Bill O'Reilly and Geraldo Rivera- and a box full of pins

2. Rethink her slander of Sally Field, sit down with some popcorn and the Box DVD Collection of 'The Flying Nun'

1. Write "Thank You" notes to Mitch McConnell and his staff

Bonus M-Squared Riffs

Crooks and Liars: Frost Parents Talk About The Right’s Jihad Against Their Son On Countdown

Sadly No: From Morn To Noon She Fell; From Noon To Dewy Eve…

When A Michelle Malkin Quits The O'Reilly Factor, And No One is Around To Hear it, Does It Make A Sound?

"The Conservatives ... They Like Me ... They Really Like Me ..."

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Oh where, Oh Where Have The Missing Emails Gone ... Oh, Where, Oh Where Can They Be ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Sorry we're late posting our Garlic Poll Results this week, and, as you can see, we have a little "things lost - things found" theme going with our Poll.

Perhaps influenced by the ongoing Cheneypalooza, our Not-A-Executive-Not-A-Legislator Vice President was the big winner, with our Poll Voters directing the Congressional investigators directly to Cheney's Secret Bunker to find those missing White House Emails.

Lord knows what else you may find there. It is likely a stinking Collyer Brothers treasure trove of the Bush Administration, with dead policies, discard civil rights and trampled, crumpled copies of the Constitution piled high. It will take months, or perhaps, just long enough past January 2009 for anything to surface, as, no doubt, the reticent VP - much like the hording brothers - has laid out booby traps (legal wranglings as well as other) for anyone that wants to venture a try.

Perhaps it will be left to some future Geraldo Rivera-type that our grandchildren's grandchildren will watch in a highly-touted, madly-hawked television special - The Opening of Dick Cheney's Secret Bunker.

The Garlic's Weekly Poll June 18 - June 24 2007

Places Congressional investigators should include in the search for the missing White House Emails include ...

1. Vice President Dick Cheney's Secret Bunker Tally 39%

2. Same place President Bush keeps the copies of his plans for the Successful Invasion and Occupation of Iraq Tally 30%

3. Pretty close to wherever Scooter Libby keeps his memory Tally 23%

4. Where FEMA stores their plans for the Successful Response To A Category 5 Hurricane That Happens To Hit New Orleans Tally 9%

This week’s Poll - The CIA releasing its' "family jewels" probably has to do with ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

"No, No, No, No, No ..."