Oh Ronnie, How I Long For You ...

Peggy Noonan, the nation's most prominent Ronald Reagan groupie, takes apart Hillary Clinton today, calling her a liar, chastising her campaign for being heavy-handed thugs and, otherwise, regales at the sliding poll numbers of the intrepid, courageous candidate.

Getting Mrs. Clinton

"That's what the Bosnia story was about. Her fictions about dodging bullets on the tarmac -- and we have to hope they were lies, because if they weren't, if she thought what she was saying was true, we are in worse trouble than we thought -- either confirmed what you already knew (she lies as a matter of strategy, or, as William Safire said in 1996, by nature) or revealed in an unforgettable way (videotape! Smiling girl in pigtails offering flowers!) what you feared (that she lies more than is humanly usual, even politically usual).

But either you get it now or you never will. That's the importance of the Bosnia tape."

That people are now "getting Hillary", not for her policies or record, but because they all know now that she lies.

Quite the hit, coming from little, pining Peggy.

And, possibly, could it be out of a fit of jealousy? Was she blind with rage, lashing out, not at her true target, but the closest person, projecting on to Hillary what she wants to scratch out of the eyes of the other one?

The Garlic, holding our nose, for the benefit off all, jumps into the subconscious mind of Peggy Noonan;

After all, earlier this week, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain was with HER ...

How dare she embrace McCain, or anyone else.

How can she be so callous, so heartless, so cold, as to not to stay away, and burn candles for dear, beloved Ronnie?

None of these nitwits can hold a lick next to The Great Communicator.

Oh Ronnie, how I long for you ... How I wish your big, broad shoulders were nearby, so I could lay my head on them, feel your heartbeat, hear your soothing voice.

Instead, I have to deal with all this screeching white noise they call a campaign ... I have to watch HER, trot out and slobber all over McCain, like the slutty tart, who bamboozled you away from Jane... Oh yeah, she wasn't looking out for you, not the way I do, anyway ... "

Actually, the best part of Noonan's screed was a passage, written by another (she didn't provide a link), who she credits as a "poster called GI Joe who wrote in to a news blog" (The Garlic, after an exhaustive search, could only find one item with it, from a comment on a Ben Smith post);

"What struck me as the best commentary on the Bosnia story came from a poster called GI Joe who wrote in to a news blog:

"Actually Mrs. Clinton was too modest. I was there and saw it all. When Mrs. Clinton got off the plane the tarmac came under mortar and machine gun fire. I was blown off my tank and exposed to enemy fire. Mrs. Clinton without regard to her own safety dragged me to safety, jumped on the tank and opened fire, killing 50 of the enemy." Soon a suicide bomber appeared, but Mrs. Clinton stopped the guards from opening fire. "She talked to the man in his own language and got him [to] surrender. She found that he had suffered terribly as a result of policies of George Bush. She defused the bomb vest herself." Then she turned to his wounds. "She stopped my bleeding and saved my life. Chelsea donated the blood."

Funny Stuff!

She doesn't, at least yet, want to diss ol' Stumblin-and-Bumblin' John, just in case, and yes, she must know, it's an extremely long-odds stretch, that he actually morphs, or shows, some kind of Reaganesque duende.

Nobody will replace her beloved Ronnie, but she's gotta keep her dance card open.

After all, the McDreamy Mormon, Mitt Romney is still, at least, with a wink-and-nod, in the running as being named VP.

Maybe, just maybe, a girl can fall in love again.


Bonus Links

Ed Kilgore/TPM Café: In Re Peggy Noonan

Deeky/Shakesville: The Lady In Red

"Oh ... THAT Conspiracy ..."