Somebody, Please, Help Tweety Talk!

The past two nights, watching Tweety, on 'Hardball', has been, even more, excruciating, as to his reporting on the Haiti earthquake.

He has put on his "Super-Serious" suit, and looks, sternly, into the camera, with all his dramatic announcements.

And, biggest of all, he sounds like a total, Ted Baxter-like jackass, whenever he pronounces the name of Haiti's capital city, Port-au-Prince.



You can go out to 'Hardball' and pull up some of the videos, to check it out.

Even Atizine, on Twitter, noticed "Watching newscasters who pronounce almost nothing else properly, try their hardest 2 say 'Port Au Prince' like a local is absolutely weird..."

Almost overnight, Monty Python created a new "Ministry of Silly Talk", and Tweety is their first, gleaming star graduate.

Most normal people pronounce the name of Port-au-Prince, sounding as "Port-O-Prince".

Tweety has been pronouncing it, apparently, in the Francophile manner, as "Port-O-Prance" really dragging out the "Prance" part, making it sound like "Prawnce".

Much in the same behavior as being the only person, outside of the family secret bunker, that pronounces the name of the former Shadow President, as "Cheeny", versus the rest of the standing world, as "Cheney", or "Chay-ney"

Maybe the Darth Vader clan is okay with his mashing their name ...

But somebody needs to clue Tweety in, that he works for MSNBC, not Le Monde.


Bonus Tweety

Clooney: Wouldn’t Cast Matthews In A Daydream ,,,When Pressed, Matthews Admits Miffed Not Cast in Clooney Film ...“Forget This Zelig Mishmash, I Could Have Played McCarthy … And Played Him Damn Good”

MSNBC's Matthews Uninjured Pulling Head Out Of Judy Miller's Ass ...Hardball Host Fawns Over Former White House Stenographer; Stays Away From Tough Questions

Was Tweety Covering Morning Jokes' Back?

Tweety vs. Ari - It's A Saddam Hussein ... Saddam Hussein ... Saddam Hussein Kind of World!

God, it was right on cue, with our post earlier today, on Puckered Lips, Mr. Sycophant, Mike Allen, writing about the Bush Cronies spinning the spin.

There he was, looking like, oh, I don't know, a guy that has slept in his suit for a few days, former Bush Grindhouse Liarperson #1, Ari Fleischer, squaring off with Tweety, on "Hardball" today.



I hope to see the transcript tonight, for Liarperson Ari threw out some whoppers.

As the shouting match began, with Tweety pressing him to defend The Commander Guy, Liarperson Ari threw the 2003 autopilot on and just started babbling "Saddam Hussein ... Saddam Hussein ... Saddam Hussein" and "Bush Kept Us Safe ... Bush Kept Us Safe ... Bush Kept Us Safe ...."

And why I want the transcript is to get the phrasing, the words, absolutely correct.

Liarperson Ari said, and I have this mostly correct;

"I think that Barack Obama should say thank you every day, that he inherited a world without Saddam Hussein in it ..."

Say What?

Is this the new meme?

That we all, not just Obama, but every single American citizen, should bow down to The Commander Guy, because we how have a world without Saddam Hussein in it?

WOW!

That's really spinning that Aug 6th, 2001 Presidential Daily Briefing memo.

As the segment wore on, right to the very end, it turned into a hot, cat-pissing, shouting-over-each-other slugfest, Liarperson Ari going, again-and-again with "Saddam Hussein ... Saddam Hussein ... Saddam Hussein" and "Bush Kept Us Safe ... Bush Kept Us Safe ... Bush Kept Us Safe ...." - 

And a curse on you Tweety for licking your wounds, instead of going for the knock-out punch, when Liarperson Ari said;

"After September 11, having been hit once, how can we take a chance that Saddam might not strike again ..."

They - The Bush Grindhouse Cronies - are still trying to sell the discredited bullshit of Saddam Hussein being behind the Sept. 11th attacks?

Liarperson Ari also denied that "they" ever said "Saddam Hussein ... Saddam Hussein ... Saddam Hussein" and "Bush Kept Us Safe ... Bush Kept Us Safe ... Bush Kept Us Safe ...." would attack us with nuclear weapons, which, to his credit, Tweety hit him over the head with the Cheney-Condi Mushroom Cloudapalooza..

You can watch the Steel Caged Match of Tweety vs. Liarperson Ari here

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Memo to Liarperson Ari, Mike Allen, Dana Perino, Dan Bartlett and all the other cronies, oh, please, please, keep that one in there ... As all you nitwits go around pumping up the failed presidency, please keep pushing Saddam Hussein was behind Sept. 11th ... It will be a short selling season on that legacy thing ... 

You can always sneak out of the room, while the gut-wrenching laughter is at full tilt.


Bonus Liarperson Ari - Tweety Riffs

Pareene: Ari Fleischer Battles Chris Matthews, Calls Him "Shameful" And "Disingenuous" (VIDEO)

Sam Stein: Ari Fleischer Battles Chris Matthews, Calls Him "Shameful" And "Disingenuous" (VIDEO)

Alan Colmes: Defending Bush Is Hard

Krup: Chris Matthews Tears Ari Fleischer A Ginormous New One

Joan Walsh: Ari Fleischer's big failure

Have Shovel, May Run?

Oh man, would I love to see this ...

Tweety on the campaign trail - as the candidate!

Can't you just see it? ... All lathered up with Aqua Velva, wide-eyed, charging out there, that thrill running up-and-down his leg.

The first sightings of this surfaced earlier this month.

From Bob Cesca's Goddamn Awesome Blog;

When Chris Matthews said, "I want to do everything I can to make this thing work, this new presidency work," it was all about a potential senate run. In fact, we'll find very few anti-Obama remarks on Hardball until (and if) Matthews announces he's not going to run. The short explanation is that if Matthews wants to unseat Arlen Specter, he's going to need the White House.

Others also picked up on the Public Policy Polling report, including Chris Cillizza, who predicted that "Here's one certainty: If Matthews does decide to run, this will be the marquee Senate race in the country in 2010."

Well, Sean Quinn, and Nate Silver, over on FiveThirtyEight.com, say, with a caution, that it's a go;

Chris Matthews Staffing Up for Probable Senate Run in 2010

Chris Matthews, it appears, is in.

FiveThirtyEight has been hearing for some time that Matthews is serious about running for the United States Senate, but it took a trip to Georgia among the Georgia-runoff-congregated and well-connected Obama organizer throng to confirm.

According to multiple sources, who confirmed the Tip O'Neill staffer-cum-MSNBC host has negotiated with veteran Obama staffers to enlist in his campaign, Chris Matthews is likely to run for United States Senate in Pennsylvania in 2010. Matthews, 62, would run as a Democrat. Arlen Specter, the aging Republican incumbent, will be 80 if he chooses to run for re-election.

Preliminary public polling suggests Matthews would start at a deficit, in part because Matthews' name recognition is lower than Specter's.

My money says, while it may be tempting, the lure of going from a former staffer to holding the office may be an alluring pull that Matthews finds it hard to step away from.

That is, until someone with sanity that hangs around him points to the MSNBC Tape Vault, and miles-and-miles of videotape that would have a Matthews Campaign in a permanent Press Conference mode, explaining away his gaffes and inane comments.

Steve Benen also noted such;

As for Matthews' chances, your guess is as good as mine. I glanced through Media Matters' recent hits on Matthews' on-air comments, and it's safe to assume the MSNBC host would have a lot of explaining to do before Pennsylvania Democrats gave him the nod.

And just in case, Matthews doesn't hear that friend, someone else can paint him a picture that should resonate.

Scene, the first debate, Matthews, with, at least, three other candidates ... Matthew gives a complicated, long-winded, foolish answer to some question, and all it will take, for any of the other candidates to neutralize him for the rest of the campaign, is for one to look at him and repeat the lament about his colleague, Morning Joke, plastering Tweety with;

"Jesus, Chris, why don't you get a shovel ..."

Or, as Olbermann did to him, just give him the hand gesture, that he was talking too much.

Thank the staffers, close the campaign HQ, and here's some lovely parting gifts for you, Mr. Tweety ...


Bonus Tweety Riffs

The Raw Story - Claim: Chris Matthews 'staffing up' for Senate run

Ta Nehisi Coates: Chris Matthews for Senate

Chris Matthews' Leg

Digby: Frederick of Hollywood and the Tiny Silicone Penis

Was Tweety Covering Morning Jokes' Back?

MSNBC's Matthews Uninjured Pulling Head Out Of Judy Miller's Ass; Hardball Host Fawns Over Former White House Stenographer; Stays Away From Tough Questions

Tweety Baits, Rat Catcher Bites

Something is going on here.

For the second time in a month, Tweety, either on his 'Hardball' program, or, as last night, in the Special Election coverage, is showing great restraint, patience, just laying back, and letting the Flying Monkeys of the Right Wing Freak Show shit all over themselves.

We had, of course, the incident that launched The Garlic's Ignorant Dolt of the Week, when Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann dove right in, channeling her inner McCarthyism.

And last evening, in MSNBC's Special Election Coverage, Tweety brought on The Rat Catcher (aka former corrupt Republican Majority Whip, Tom "The Hammer" DeLay, who, before he displayed for the world, his legislative intellect, and unbridled greed, prepared for his role in high government via his exterminating business).

Now, there is a question of judgment, why Tweety, and/or MSNBC, would want to have The Rat Catcher on for an interview, being it was, in effect, The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Night of Barack Obama.

But on he slimed, with Tweety baiting him about the unfolding meltdown of the Republican Party, giving The Rat Catcher the opportunity for him to toot the tin, RNC talking point of how a Democratic Majority is going to bring on the end of the universe.

At the end of The Rat Catcher's spewing, Tweety, all smiling and chuckling, cuts his legs off on national television, labeling him a "hater" (perhaps code for something else, no?)

Here it is, captured for posterity;

Rethug Tom Delay Says Dems Will Screw Economy, Chris Matthews Calls Him A Hater




Let's roll out a deal for The Rat Catcher ... We'll give'em a special nod as "Ignorant Hater of the Day!"


Bonus Rat Catcher Riffs

DeLay, the Lobbyist? ...DeLay Resignation Clears Way For Medal of Freedom Award; To Scold Wayward Republicans, President To Conduct Ceremony In Full Session

Lobbyist Sought $15M To Introduce Bush To Cheney; New Documents Show Abramoff Peddling Secret Bunker Access, In Concert With Fallen House Leader DeLay

Old Ethics Rules Back In Force; DeLay Now Facing Additional Charges; Stowaway On Air Force One Effort To Avoid House Investigation

DeLay's Wife Demands To Speak With President; Wants Answers But Not Sure Where To Camp Out - D.C., Crawford or Hurricane Region?

Cheney Backs DeLay At Fundraiser, Despite Upheld Charges; VP Promises Former House Leader "Strong Iraq Press"; Cheney Takes Cut From Gate For New "Bunker" Fund

Conservatives To Fete DeLay Tonight; Last Chance For Favors In Case House Leader Censured or Expelled

RNC, Congress Planning 'Support Our Majority Leader' Rally For DeLay; Music, Speakers and Celebes Slated For K Street Parade; President To Attend If Not In Gulf Region Again

Nancy Puss'n'Boots To Tweety: I'll Take "Looking Stupid" for $500"!

Well, they already wished Carly Fiorina to the cornfield, and I suspect whoever is the evil little Timmy for the Dead Campaign Express, has their gaze on Nancy Puss'n'Boots this morning.

It was brutal, unbelievable brutal, as Nancy Puss'n'Boots sat there, on 'Hardball' yesterday, with the idiot smile, perhaps with the knowledge that the cornfield was looming.

To be fair, to some extent, Tweety had a bee-in-his-bonnet, almost taking on the persona of one of those detectives in a 1950's B&W boiler, the bare light bulb hanging over a whimpering suspects' head.

Tweety was gnawing on the bone, with great gusto, over the latest edition of Mommy Moose idea, intellect, core base of knowledge over what job she is actually running for, and will serve if - oh boy, we'll need something close to Armageddon - she and the debunked Maverick get elected.

A deer in the headlights would have looked infinitely brighter that Nancy Puss'n'Boots, the mere act of running away would be an intellectual feat dwarfing Puss'n'Boots smiling clown act.

The more Tweety gnawed on this bone, the more Nancy Puss'n'Boots sat there, stuttering and muttering, becoming stupider and stupider by the second.

If they had been monitoring the show with those "People Meters", I believe the squiggly lines would have broke out laughing.

You would have seen a straight line, perhaps a bit up-and-down as the interview started, that pure Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha for the rest of it.

Tweety, so transfixed on his gnawing, his juicy bone, never broke from it, to fall on the floor in laughter himself.

This, from Mudflats today;

Chris Matthews is like a monkey with a gun. Sometimes he’s kind of wacky and unpredictable and you never feel quite sure of what he’s going to do. Other times, he takes careful aim and hits the bad guy right between the eyes. This time, Republican spokeswoman Nancy Pfotenhauer was the one with the big shiny bullseye right in the middle of her forehead. The subject of the conversation? How is it that Sarah Palin still does not know the job description of the Vice President? If you have not seen Matthews’ verbal flaying and subsequent evisceration of Palin via Nancy Pfotenhauer, you are in for a real treat. If you’ve already seen it once, watch it again. It’s almost a seismic event.

And Think Progress;

Today on MSNBC, Chris Matthews challenged McCain campaign spokeswoman Nancy Pfotenhauer to defend Palin’s comments, saying that in all his time in Washington, he has “never heard anybody” give an answer like Palin did. “Where does she get her civics?” asked Matthews. Pfotenhauer became visibly angry by the questioning and tried to change the subject. Matthews, however, refused to let her get away:

I don’t know why Randy Scheunemann or one of the smart people around her — I don’t know who else, Nicolle Wallace, somebody — ought to go to the candidate for the Vice President and give them a copy of the Constitution to read. That’s all it takes. It doesn’t take a lot of penetrating thought. Read the job description. […]

Somehow, in all these trips to Washington — through Neiman’s, and through Saks, and through everywhere else she stopped off, she never picked up a copy of the Constitution. It is a problem. It is a problem, Nancy, and you know it.

Here, and you'll have to imagine the trumpets and drumroll, Nancy Puss'n'Boots, on Hardball.

Hardball's Chris Matthews smacks down McCain campaign's Nancy Pfotenhauer about Sarah Palin. EPIC PFAIL!



Now, it should have occurred to Puss'n'Boots, the video of Mommy Moose's answer to a third-grader's question was all over the World Wide Web, to concede the point, and say something like "Yes, Chris, I agree it was a bad answer" or "She embellished a bit too much".

But it seems the Dead Campaign Express isn't ready - yet - to throw The Wasilla Whiz Kid under the bus.

At least, the top-of-the-ticket, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain isn't

McCain: Palin ‘Most Qualified’ VP Nominee in Recent Memory

My question is, ‘What’s their problem?’ She is the most popular governor in America…

Because she’s not known, or she hasn’t been to a Georgetown cocktail party, or maybe some in Manhattan — I think she’s the most qualified of any that who has run recently for vice president, to tell you the truth. [Emphasis added.]

It's getting harder-and-harder to riff on these people, they're doing such a fantastic job of making fun of themselves, albeit, unknowingly.

Hmmm ... A Sign of Things To Come?

This was rather interesting.

Is it a fluke, a convenience of schedule, somebody they grabbed at the last minute?

Or, is it a sign of the post-Russert-influence of NBC/MSNBC news?

We speak of Amy Goodman's appearance on Chris Matthew's 'Hardball' last evening, where she whiffed Heidi Harris on three pitches, in a discussion of whether woman will vote for Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain.

Now Amy Goodman has been on MSNBC in the past, but about as often as Keith Olbermann compliments Bill O'Reilly, so it was rather jarring to see her pop on the screen.

And, as you will see, she made mincemeat of Harris, seemingly, to the approval of Tweety, himself

Democracy Now! On Hardball_08_Women Voters



Check out, as well, Oregon Rep. Chip Shields' post, "Amy Goodman breaks through. Kicks ass".

If you're not hip to Amy Goodman, jump on over to Democracy Now, and do so ...

MSNBC's Matthews Uninjured Pulling Head Out Of Judy Miller's Ass

Hardball Host Fawns Over Former White House Stenographer; Stays Away From Tough Questions

MSNBC's Chris Matthews, host of 'Hardball with Chris Matthews', escaped serious injury yesterday, extracting his head out of the rectum of Judy Miller, former New York Times reporter and White House stenographer.

"We weren't sure," offered MSNBC President, Dan Abrams. "We sent Chris to the hospital, just as a precaution."

Abrams wasn't pleased with his hosts' interview with Miller, who served nearly three-months in jail for not disclosing her source in the CIA Leak Case, which turned out to be convicted felon, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby.

Sources tell The Garlic that Abrams is considering a change in the title of Matthews' program, to "Soft Balls On Chris Matthews".

Matthews, with his trademark grinning and drooling, welcomed Miller with "Judy, you‘re a hero to the press. You are definitely a woman to be trusted with secrets ..." and started off the interview on a strange, blathering tangent;

I‘m in Los Angeles right now. I‘m up there in a—I was up in a Renaissance Hotel the other night, looking down—actually, when I got up this morning—seeing this whole city, crowded city, below me. Is it safe?

Matthews, fawning over Miller, continued his line of questioning the former White House shrill about the recent NIE report and the alleged strengthening of Al Qaeda.

Not once did Matthews, his cranium firmly squeezed into Miller's behind, question his guest about her role in spreading the lies and misinformation coming out of the Bush Grindhouse in the run-up to invading and occupying Iraq

Another point Abrams was upset about was the network teased and ran promos for Matthews show, and specifically his interview with Miller, offering the tantalizing prospects of her view and opinion on the commutation of Scooter Libby's sentence and incarceration.

Without asking her a single question about Libby, that Miller could have answered or chosen not to answer, Matthews gushed;

MATTHEWS: Judy, I believe in you. You‘re great. And by the way, I didn‘t ask you about Scooter Libby because—because the president didn‘t ...let‘s make it clear what happened here. If he had pardoned the guy, we could talk because there‘d be no further legal action against him. But because he‘s now floating around there in limbo, as the guy with clemency commutation but still appealing his case, you can‘t talk about the case.

MILLER: That‘s right.

MATTHEWS: I completely understand that. I sympathize with you.

MILLER: Thank you, Chris.

MATTHEWS: And I sometimes even sympathize with Scooter Libby.

"If this is how Chris plays hardball," an agitated Abrams fumed, "than we have to sit down and have a talk ... Either that, of he can pack his bags and move over to Fox News."

In a related story, unconfirmed reports have former MSNBC host Rita Cosby, recently losing out on a World Wonder title, was said to be stalking the graveyard where Anna Nicole Smith is buried, badgering workers and visitors. Cosby, it was said, still hopes to revive the deal with Abrams, to launch a 24-hour Anna Nicole Smith channel.

Links

Watch Video of Judy Miller plays Hardball with Chris Matthews

Hardball with Chris Matthews' for July 18 Read the transcript to the Wednesday show

Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.

Bonus Links

Editor & Publisher: Judy Miller Defends Leaker -- Of Harry Potter Ending!


Matthews' program could be retitled "Soft Balls On Chris Matthews"

Run For Your Lives ... Ann Coulter Alert!

I sensed something terribly wrong this morning.

Car alarms were blaring, for stretches of blocks ... Newly-budding flowers wilted before sunrise ... Dogs and other pets hid under beds, or otherwise found safe cover.

And I could have sworn I saw Kevin McCarthy running down the street, screaming "They're here already! You're next! You're next, You're next..."

What could this be?

Ahhh, the Coulter-meter was pinging off-the-charts.

The doyenne of the Freak Show is untethering herself from the Fox Network, to be on 'Hard Ball with Chris Matthews', the master of the smiling drool, this evening, so have a vomit bag nearby, for either the rank foulness that spews from Coulter, or the overt, drooling and fawning Matthews engages in .

Watch at your own risk.

Bonus Links

American goodwill, in shackles

Good Morning America's Chris Cuomo interviews Coulter, promotes Godless

Top Ten Cloves: Things Ann Coulter Would Spend "Coulter Cash" On

Garlic Exclusive! 1st Draft Of Coulter’s Plagiarism Response: Coulter Speaks (Sort Of)

Update

Ann Coulter Attacks John Edwards On Good Morning America

Update II

Elizabeth Edwards Confronts Coulter During Live Television Appearance


Has Ann Coulter Hit Her Tipping Point?