Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At CPAC

News Item: Romney edges McCain in conservative straw poll

10. If you see McCain's mother, walk the other way ... She's giving backhanders to anyone that says they won't be voting for her son

9. What do we do if he does pick Bob Dole for VP?

8. Limbaugh's here ... And he's dropping his winning the Man-of-the-Year award like confetti

7. McCain is going to ask Romney if he can borrow his sons for the general election

6. Isn't "pimping" one of the planks in our platform?

5. I heard that the Ron Paul people are spread out over a 5-mile perimeter, looking for Sean Hannity

4. Coulter's not speaking this year? ... I guess it was a slow year in the plagiarism biz...

3. Huckabee might announce his National Defense Policy today ... What's that going to be - stand down the Army and just throw Chuck Norris out there?

2. Watch out ... Mitt Romney's going around looking for investors ... He wants to go and rebuild those Auto plants in Michigan anyway

1. I heard that McCain is so desperate to win over us over, he might divorce his wife and marry Nancy Reagan before the convention


Bonus Freakshow Riffs

"The morning after always looks grim if you happen to be wearing last night's dress"

Top Ten Cloves: Things Ann Coulter Would Spend "Coulter Cash" On

Yes, Virginia, There Is, Sadly, A William Kristol ...

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?


The McCain Election Strategy