Top Ten Cloves: Other Great Things You'll Get Using Google's New Retooled Search Engine

News Item: Seeking more traffic, Google widens format

10. If you are an illegal alien, when you finish your search, PRESTO!, you are now a full, naturalized U.S. citizen

9. Since we've already digitized the Bazooka Joe Comics, set your filter to conduct your search as Bazooka Joe (try it, it's fun)

8. One of the coolest features is that you can set filters to reset your entire life to "beta-mode"

7. Warning: We believe that George Soros may be a Google user, so, you run the risk of getting smeared by Fox News' Bill O'Reilly

6. Based on how ruthless you are with your searches, Google may contact you about becoming a Google Lobbyist

5. If you are a fan of Senator Ted Stevens, turn on the sound feature to hear your search clanging through the pipes

4. Warning: We are only retooling the Google Search Engine, not "The Google", that President Bush uses

3. The "I'm Feeling Lucky" search could make you really, really lucky - Random searches placed in lottery for Google stock

2. It's not on the system yet, but coming soon is all you will have to do is think about the search and your browser will automatically go to Google with all the results

1. Don't be alarmed ... If you search for the wrong thing, you'll hear Vice President Dick Cheney's voice telling you "Frankly, you're out of line with that question."