Breaking News - Congress Said Will “Clean President’s Clock” On Immigration

Bush Adds Color-Coded Border Alert Chart To Immigration Plan

Neocons Upset With Shift In White House Strategy: Speech Offered No “Ties To Sadam ... Imminent Mushroom Clouds”

Sources tell The Garlic that following the morning staff meeting, and a briefing with the Republican Leadership, President Bush added to the Immigration Plan he announced last evening, a “Color-Coded Border Alert Chart”, so the White House can evaluate the effectiveness of measures that are undertaken to control the border.

“The President likes to see signs, one’s that can easily communicate what’s going on,” said new Press Secretary Tony Snow.

The White House offered little details about “Color-Coded Border Alert Chart”, only that different colors will be used to indicate the flow of undocumented workers into the country. White House staffers are talking, off-the-record or on background that it will be very similar to the Terrorist Threat Chart, manned by the Department of Homeland Security and the Pandemic Alert Chart announced last November.

Speaking English thing will likely make Tom Tancredo happy

In his nationally-televised speech from the Oval Office last evening, the President laid out a Five-Point Immigration Plan that will relieve the flow of undocumented workers into the country and offer the illegal immigrants a path to U.S. Citizenship.

Included in the plan is the use of over 6,000 National Guard Troops, and a high-tech, tamper-proof identification card. The President also wants to penalize companies and corporations that employ undocumented workers and went out of his way to say that the Temporary Worker Program he proposes is not “amnesty”.

Reception for his speech was muted, with many in Congress asking for more details, on both the use of the National Guard and

the Temporary Worker Program. With offering undocumented workers a path to U.S. Citizenship, President Bush is mandating that any such immigrant will need to speak English, with some also having to pay fines and back taxes.

House Majority Leader John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) said after the speech that "border security is our first priority," without offering any praise to the President or his speech.

“It really wasn’t even a lukewarm speech,” offered David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?', the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party. “He didn’t offer much that the Republicans in Congress can grab on to, other than the speaking English thing will likely make Tom Tancredo happy.”

Congress Said Will “Clean President’s Clock” On Immigration; NSA Will Track Temp Workers Phones

Many inside the Beltway saw little in the President speech, labeling it as nothing more than “trying to change the headlines”.

In announcing the nationally-televised address last Friday, the President and the White House attempted to take away the raging news of now the National Security Agency has been collecting tens-of-millions of U.S Citizen’s telephone numbers in their Domestic Surveillance Program, again, without the use of a court warrant.

Additionally, the speculation grows that long-time Bush Aide, and Special White House Counsel Karl Rove is to be indicted this week in the CIA Leak Scandal, as well as breaking news over the weekend that Vice President Dick Cheney was shown to be more involved in the smearing of former Ambassador Joe Wilson.

“What was it – nothing more a veritable “Clear Borders Act”, said Ann Mitchell, veteran Capital Hill journalist. “Window dressing for a problem, with the President’s poll numbers that Congress is going clean his clock with. They’re laughing at him up on the Hill. This Immigration Bill is going to be, in all probability, their last shot at keeping their seats in the November elections, but that train is already pulling out.”

Along with the “Color-Coded Border Alert Chart”, the White House also added, that, once an undocumented worker is brought into the Temporary Worker Program, and receives his or her identification card, that their telephone numbers will be scooped up by the NSA for monitoring

“Nothing pairing the border problem to September 11^th”

One element of the President’s base of support, the Conservative Neocons, came out swinging this morning, slamming the speech and charging that the White House is “shifting their strategy”.

“We are profoundly disappointed,” said Holly Martins, Publisher of ‘Axis of Evil Illustrated’, a quarterly publication that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century. The President seems to have forgotten who helped him during his term so far.

Martins says he was peppered last evening with calls and emails from other Neocons, lambasting the President and his speech, and feeling depressed that their plans are evaporating.

“Not once, during the speech,” said Martins, “did the President say, or even intimate, a connection between the illegal aliens and Sadam Hussein. There was nothing pairing the border problem to September 11^th. And he offered no hint of the mushroom clouds from Iran.”

Martins claims both the White House Iraq Group and the new White House Iraq and Iran Group have “reams of copy” to use for this issue.

“The Lincoln Group had at least three people pumping out copy on this for them,” added Martins.

Martins conceded that, for the Neocons, their biggest fear is that the White House will begin using the new “Color-Coded Border Alert Chart”, with “benign, watered-down reports” instead of the fear-inducing DHS Terrorist Threat Chart.

“We can’t advance our agenda with counting people at the border. We need to get more budget, by scaring people, having things shut down, getting the media to spend hours-and-hours broadcasting the suspected threats”

President Focus Said To Be “To Keep His Legacy From Going Down In Flames”

With the President, according to sources close to the White House, getting squeezed, by Congress on one side, and the PNAC and Neocons on the other, it’s “very unlikely” he’ll get a
“Mission Accomplished” photo op with the Immigration issue.

“Extremely doubtful,” offered Aaronson. “The President is looking to dump this thing, have someone else come up with a “heck of a job” moment.”

“Between the War in Iraq, the illegal wiretapping, the CIA Leak Scandal and indictments of his staff, Abramoff, the November elections and whatever else comes out, Bush’s main focus now is to keep his legacy from going down in flames. Things are going to get down even lower, and dirtier than ever before its over.”

President Bush, according to some in the White House, considered using elephants to patrol the borders, not for their GOP symbolic value, but for what the President claimed "their incredible memories"