Thursday, July 26, 2007

More Bad News For McCain; Death Cat Curling Up Next To His Campaign Photos

Senator and Presidential Hopeful Drops F-Bomb, As Feline Grim Reaper Maintains Streak, Giving Signal That McCain Effort Over;

In the "What Else Can Go Wrong Department", reports indicated that the uncanny Rhode Island nursing home cat that foresees death, is said to have been curling up next to newspaper campaign photos of Senator John McCain (R-AZ).

Additionally, Oscar the Death Cat at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, R.I. runs and sits under the television whenever the Senator is on the screen.

McCain, the ardent supporter of President Bush's invasion and occupation of Iraq, and 2008 Presidential hopeful, has seen his campaign sink, dogged by headlines in recent weeks of "John McCain goes off the rails", "McCain's Meltdown" and "The Implosion Of Senator John McCain" as well as the abandonment of staffers rivaling the sinking of the Titanic, including more yesterday, when his media team resigned.

Now, having Oscar the Death Cat stalking him, even from a distance, can't be an encouraging sign for the man who's heading to be the modern day Alf Landon.

"He's a cat with an uncanny instinct for death," said Dr. David M. Dosa, assistant professor at the Brown University School of Medicine and a geriatric specialist, in a Boston Globe interview. "He attends deaths. He's pretty insistent on it."

Oscar has foreseen 25 deaths in the two-years he's been at the nursing home.

Officially, the McCain camp (well, what's left of it, which may be better described as an outing or gathering) would offer no comment.

However, sources have told The Garlic, that when McCain was told about Oscar the Death Cat, the Senator launched into one of his trademark explosions.

"Now", seethed McCain, "I have a fucking cat weighing in on my campaign ... A fucking little, mangy, stinking fucking cat is gonna tell me I can't run for President ... What is this, the Daily Kos's cat! ... Move-Fucking-On programming fucking cats now to screw with me! ..."

McCain, sources in attendance said, then tore of his his flak jacket and stormed out of the room, still mumbling about the cat.

"It's really sad", offered Irena Dubrovna, who publishes "The GOP Litter Box" an advice and information newsletter for Republicans who own cats, but are conflicted that their feline pets aren't self-sufficient, "but not all that surprising."

"I mean, McCain ... In a Blackberry, IM, YouTube world, John McCain is Morse Code and carbon paper ... It's not surprising that this cat would catch his campaign's death scent."

Bonus Links

McCain - Obama Feud Update; Obama Grammy Sends McCain Heading Into Studio

McCain Says Abducted and Grilled By Cheney; Won't Budge On Torture Ban; Held For Two-Days In Secret Bunker; Hadley Defends 'Discussion", Saying Part of New National Victory Strategy

McCain explodes after learning Oscar the Death Cat has signaled his presidential campaign is over

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