Thursday, July 26, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell The Shuttle Astronauts Are Drunk

News Item: Report: Drunk astronauts allowed on shuttle

10. Drunk astronauts make a few stops, to pick up their friends

9. Astronauts prank call the White House, telling the President that they found the WMD's in outer space

8. Continually take unauthorized space walks, to go back to shuttle's engine to light their cigarettes

7. Don't have to worry about walking a straight line in a no-gravity environment

6. Keeps calling mission control with "Whitney Houston, you have a problem", followed by a lot of giggling

5. Start singing "Fly Me To The Moon" and then say, "Hey, why not ..." and change course to head there

4. Going through space, they forget to put their headlights on

3. Alarm for bay doors opening-and-closing going off constantly - They're tossing away empty beer cans

2. Once they reach the Russian Space Station, badger the Russian cosmonauts to hit up their Tang with a little vodka

1. Come in landing at Edwards Air Force Base steering the shuttle with their feet

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