Sunday, October 15, 2006

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 15 October 2006

The Vatican was quick to deny stories circulating that Pope Benedict XVI's forthcoming edict, to revive the "Tridentine Mass", or the mass spoken in Latin, has nothing to do with his recent troubles and is not being put back in place so the Pope can "diss more Muslims without too many people catching on"

With her ratings continuing to decline, and still without a signature sign-off, CBS Evening News Anchor Katie Couric announced that, for the upcoming week, now-former Fox sportscaster Steve Lyons, recently fired for making an on-air racial insult, will appear at the end of the each day’s broadcast to issue the sign-off.

Said Couric, "This oughta be a lot of fun"

With the House and Senate already approving the 700-mile long fence, to stretch across significant portions of the U.S.-Mexico border border, to curb the rampant illegal immigration crisis, enterprising businessmen, on both sides of the border, have already begun selling "Fast Passes" that guarantee the purchaser of a "hole in the fence" for quick entry, or exit

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, having previously sealed the deal for "Disney Iraq" met recently with legendary singer, and businesswoman, Dolly Parton.

It was said the two discussed, and apparently worked out a deal for Parton to secure the rights for her Dollywood parks, in either Iran or North Korea, "which ever one we invade first", quipped the Secretary

The Nation's Capital was abuzz this morning, as news flashed around town that Vice President Dick Cheney was found naked, and asleep, in a D.C.-area gallery.

According to a source close to the Vice President's office, Cheney became "despondent" shortly after the U.N. vote to sanction North Korea, when, as Cheney was heard muttering "it is perfectly set-up to carpet-bomb those assholes and invade the country."

“It’s either that,” said the source, “or, he’s decided to come out of the closet - before he’s pulled out”

After developing a plan to have him "stay quiet" staffers for Senator George Allen (R-VA) were stunned at a recent campaign appearance, when, in the middle of his talk, Allen stopped and gave the “White Power
salute to a member of the audience

No comments: