Developing Story! White House Fireworks As Cheney Explodes

Cheney Furious, Protests Releasing N.I.E Report Without Smearing Anyone

Fights President; Demands That New CIA Agent Or Spouse Be Exposed, For Either Leak Or Iraqi Assessment

Sources close to the White House has told The Garlic that a “terrific row” broke out in the Oval Office late yesterday afternoon, with Vice President Dick Cheney vehemently protesting and arguing with President Bush over the declassification and release of the National Intelligence Estimate report that depicts "cause celebre" for jihadists, and the that the situation in Iraq is making things less safe, not, as the President offers, more safe.

Cheney fought with the President, according to the sources, for a planned campaign, that would expose a C.I.A. agent, or their spouse, for either the leak or the assessment in the report, with a measured goal of political gain for the White House, and, more importantly Cheney argued, for GOP candidates down the stretch of the upcoming Midterm elections.

The bleak N.I.E. report offers that global terrorism is being fueled by the war in Iraq, attracted to it by the U.S. presence and occupation of Iraq, not, as often stated by the President that “we have to fight them over there, so we don’t have to fight them here.”

A portion of the report was leaked and published over the weekend, causing the uproar that had the White House scrambling to contain.

In a press conference at the White House yesterday, Bush, with Afghan President Hamid Karzai, addressed the furor over the leaked report and disclosed that he had directed John Negroponte, Director of National Intelligence, to declassify and release the key judgments of the report.

Cheney Explodes: “Find Me Someone To Hang This On”

Cheney, who was watching the press conference in his office exploded, according to sources, apparently unaware of the meeting between the President and Negroponte and the decision reached.

Cheney began, furiously, making notes in the columns of newspapers on his desk and barking out orders to his staff to “get cracking” and “find me someone we can hang this on”.

This surprised many, as the Vice President has been on light duty, following his brief hospitalization after his relentless spinning session on ‘Meet The Press’ earlier this month.

“Cheney can still pull it off,” said Hugh P. Varicator, a consultant with the conservative hawkish think tank, “Cry Wolf”, that is said to be closely affiliated with The Project for the New American Century (PNAC), and, some say, may be an adjunct to the White House Iraq Group, or WHIG.

“It will be a lot harder now, offered Varicator. “The horse is out of the barn, they didn’t control the story, like the one they ran on the Wilson’. That one was smooth, had everyone on-board from the get-go ... This one, it looks sloppy ... Cheney, Rove and all of them are going to have to do a lot of legwork now ... A lot of backroom whispers and cranking up the talking heads to get out there on radio and television to start selling the spin version of this.

The Vice President could not be reached for comment, and a staffer in the VP’s office said that the general belief there was that “the impact of the leak is in its’ final throes.”

Iraq To Be Back On ‘Axis of Evil’ List?

The White House refused comment and would neither confirm nor deny rumors circulating around the capital, that the White House is considering placing Iraq back on the ‘Axis of Evil’ list, to both, motivate the Iraqi government and to build public support for “staying the course”.

“That is a stark move, however, I believe it may be necessary,” said Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century

“We didn’t get our flowers and chocolates for the first liberation of Iraq,” offered Martins. ”If we can root out the terrorists and the democracy that most of the Iraqis want blossoms, then we have a bill due ... We will be greeted as liberators.”

“If not,” added Martins, “We’ll just have to do it all over again in Iran.”

More as this story develops

Vice President Dick Cheney is fighting for a quid pro quo from President Bush. In exchange for declassifying and releasing the N.I.E. report, Cheney wants a CIA Agent, or their spouse, exposed and smeared