Top Ten Cloves: Ways White House Will Spin The Over 400 Visits From Convicted Lobbyist Jack Abramoff

News Item: House Report Details 485 Contacts Between Abramoff Team and White House Officials

10. Jack who?

9. Abramoff? ... Abramoff? ... Oh yeah, I think he was that fellow that came in with Ralph Reed a few times

8. He was a real crack at filing Vice President Cheney’s newspaper column notes

7. Much like the President’s policy for Iraq, it was “Stay The Course” for Abramoff’s visits

6. Can’t comment, National Security. So we don’t give terrorists any strategic information, we recently classified the White House Sign-In Log Book

5. Thought we was working for Talon News, like that Jeff Gannon guy

4. He was the King of K Street and there is a longstanding tradition of welcoming royalty into the White House

3. Liked to have him around, as an advisor, in case any Indian Casino business popped up

2. Karl Rove wanted up-to-date reports on which Congressmen Abramoff was paying off, for Rove’s file on who to threaten with smears if they didn’t vote the way the White House wanted

1. Hey, you go into the visits from Jack Abramoff that you have, not the visits from Jack Abramoff that you wish you had

Much like the President's policy for Iraq, it was “Stay The Course” for Abramoff’s visits