Tuesday 4 October 2005

Cheney to Miers: "Way To Go There Girl"

VP Gave Advice, Coached To Choose Herself; Longtime Prez Cook and Gardener On Short List

President Bush yesterday ended the suspense of who would replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, and created a new level of controversey, when he nominated his longtime aide, Harriet E. Miers, to the Supreme Court.

Miers, who up to her nomination, served as the White House Counsel, and, previously had been Bush's personal attorney, as well as his general counsel to his two gubernatorial campaigns in Texas.

Sources say that the President had a short list, which included his longtime chef and gardener

And Miers was the person who the President put in charge of researching and building a list of potential Supreme Court candidates.

No one was more proud of the moment than Vice President Dick Cheney.

"I feel like a coach," said the Vice President, "who has just seen that scrappy, second-stringer, take the big shot and become the team leader."

Cheney himself ascended to the Vice Presidency under similar conditions.

In 2000, when serving as CEO of Halliburton, Cheney was placed in charge of the Search Committee for the Bush Campaign. Bush disregarded Cheney's findings and choose Cheney himself to be his running mate.

"I think, on one day, I jotted down some names," recalls Cheney. "Just in case they asked me something."

"For the most part, I did crossword puzzles. Every now and then, I flew out to Peeble Beach, for some golf. I'd tell them I was going to California to interview so-and-so. I never busted a sweat over it."

Cheney says when Miers was placed with the responsibility, he had a meeting with her, to lay out the route for Miers to get the nomination.

"We got alittle nervous when the President chose Roberts. But, as soon as Rheinquist croaked, we tweaked our strategy and we knew she'd sail into it."

"I'm happy for Harriet," said Cheney, "but I do have alittle pang that maybe I should have headed the search. I wouldn't mind ending my career sitting on the big bench."

While the Democrats response to the Miers nomination has been surprisingly soft, and in some instances, positive, by contrast, the Conservatives have been harshly criticizing the President.

Bill Kristol, editor of 'The Weekly Standard', said he was "disappointed, depressed and demoralized" by the choice.

"Kristol," huffed Cheney, "gets depressed if it's a cloudy day, or if his shoe becomes untied … I wouldn't worry about him."

Appearing on the MSNBC program, 'The Situation', with host Tucker Carlson, conservative pundit, and former presidential candidate and Nixon speechwriter Pat Buchanan, with steam coming out of his ears, charged the President with "cronyism". Carlson siliently concurred, with his bow tie twirling like a jet propeller.

Sources tell The Garlic that, with it unlikely that the President will have anymore opportunities to shape the Supreme Court in his final two-years, attention now turns to mapping out a Presidential Library for Bush.

"There's a real dogfight brewing over that one," says the source close to the White House. "They know, the staffer that gets that job, of searching out a location, has a pretty good chance of getting their name on the library."

The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) filed suit this morning against four newborns, their parents and a hospital in Chicago for alledgedly illegally downloading music