Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Good Post Alert: Leaked Memo of McCain Camp's Future Hail Marys (satire)

Brad Johnson, over on at Largely, has a great post up, most hysterical, that you should check out.

Since Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, and his trusty sidekick, Mommy Moose, just keep those hits coming, and coming, and coming, Brad's piece is spot-on.

Leaked Memo of McCain Camp's Future Hail Marys (satire)

Here's a few snips of it;

Tactic: If reporter brings up the Keating Five, McCain says, "I love Dave Brubeck." If reporter replies, "Dave Brubeck?" McCain responds, "Are you saying you don't like Jazz? Jazz was created in America. Why do you hate America?"

Strategy: Internal polls show most Americans think the Keating Five was a successful late '50s/early '60s jazz band
Tactic: In addition to claiming McCain invented the Blackberry, assert that he also invented the wheel, sliced bread, fire, the missionary position, whiskey, apple pie, sliders, cleavage, Beanie Babies, oxygen, blow jobs, sunlight, bikinis, pasteurization, nuggies, the handshake, ice cream, poll dancing, Penicillin, the wave, hot dogs, the Theory of Relativity, beer nuts, New Journalism, indoor plumbing, low-rise jeans, Method Acting, rap, Twister, funnel cake, the printing press, soft pretzels, the phrase "dude," the color blue, moving pictures, "bringing sexy back," nougat, and baseball.

Strategy: Highlights McCain's superior record of accomplishment. Bonus: no time left in the campaign season for media to fact-check effectively.

Check out Leaked Memo of McCain Camp's Future Hail Marys (satire)

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