Sunday, October 01, 2006

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 1 October 2006

In his continuing efforts
to make amends to Muslims, after offending them in a speech last month, Pope Benedict XVI announced that he is ignoring the death threats he's received and placing his faith to the forefront. The Pontiff will forgo using the bulletproof Popemobile and make his travels with only a simple umbrella

New York Attorney General Candidate Jeanine Pirro fiercely defended her actions of hiring a private investigator to look into her husband's possible involvement in an extra-marital affair, saying, referencing to her husbands' anatomy, that "If it turned out true, I would have crushed them like this"

The White House is putting out yet another fire, after a leak surfaced that Bush Administration interns and operatives conducted drills and maneuvers for the possibility of catching Washington Post reporter and author of the newly-released and stinging 'State of Denial', Bob Woodward, and drubbing him in grapes for his harsh, negative portrayal of President Bush and his Iraq Policy

The abrupt resignation of Congressmen Mark Foley on Friday on Friday, over graphic, sexual emails sent to a teenage Capital page, wasn't the only earth-shattering event.

Pop star Michael Jackson was spotted inside the Beltway. When asked by reporters, Jackson (shown here) said he was "looking for Congressmen Foley" and that the two "had a great deal to talk about"

More fallout from the leaked N.I.E Report hit the Bush Administration
, as the increased violence in
Iraq depicted in the assessment has also ravaged the fast food industry in Baghdad

It was noted that for the past three-months, carhops now undertake their service, armed, either for protection, or to conduct killings.

The N.I.E. reports stated that it is just a matter of time, before busboys, line-preps and chefs began arming themselves as well

With his reappointment in serious jeopardy
, being that there are signals that he will not win Senate confirmation, U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton is anticipating a career change and has commissioned work on a new moustache

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