Breaking News! Bush Grindhouse Backs Up Letter With Wiretap Poll Showing Overwhelming Support For Gonzales

Massive Overnight Data Mining Rings In Big Number For Embattled Crony General; "They Want Him To Lie More"

The Bush Grindhouse, followed up the letter sent yesterday by Intelligence Czar Mike McConnell, with another set of documents, culled from their Terror Surveillance Program, and "other intelligence activities", showing overwhelming support for the embattled Crony General Alberto Gonzales.

"They love him," beamed Grindhouse Press Secretary Tony Snow. "They want him to lie more."

According to Snow, the Grindhouse conducted -legally - a series or wiretaps, as well as a massive Data Mining program, keying in on Gonzales, and his testimony given last week.

The Bush Grindhouse cites well over 78% approval for Gonzales via the Wiretapping, and slightly less support, only 68%, coming from the Data Mining exercise.

"The people emailing pulled the numbers down a bit," confessed Snow, "but overall, we extremely pleased that, along with the President, an overwhelming and significant number of Americans also have confidence in the Crony General."

The documents supplied today to the Senate Judiciary Committee were only an overview of the results of the Wiretapping and Data Mining Poll.

"Since most of this is classified, we can't release the raw results," said Snow.

Gonzales, who had his testimony contradicted by FBI Director Robert Mueller, has until Friday to correct his answers, or face a possible perjury charge, and, potentially, impeachment.

"We looked for those things as well," added Snow, "and it was strong, very strong, against taking any action on the Crony General ... They want him to stay right where he is, and doing the things he does best ..."

Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) said he was enraged with the report given him today, and indicated that he may, if his anger stays with him, fire off another letter to the Bush Grindhouse.

"This is unacceptable, " fumed Specter. "A blind poll, that we can't see who was polled, and what the results were ... I'm beside myself ... This administration is very close ... Very close to getting another letter from me!"

Specter's colleague, Judiciary Committee Chairman, Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT), was also displeased, indicating he may give the Bush Grindhouse the month of August to redo the Wiretapping and Data Mining Poll and resubmit it to the committee.

"This is ridiculous," barked Leahy. "We'd like to submit our own questions to this Wiretapping and Data Mining audience, to get our own results. I agree with my colleague, Mr. Specter, that another stern protest letter is probably warranted here."

When apprised of this latest development, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi expressed her disagreement with Specter and Leahy.

"We have to stop the war and have the business of the country to attend to," huffed Pelosi. "I have no interest in letter writing ... It's off the table."

Bonus Links

Anonymous Liberal: The Gang of Eight Smokescreen

TalkLeft - NewSpeak: Bush's FISA Proposal

The Crony General: "Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time ..."

Chopped Garlic: "Emails? We ain't got no emails! We don't need no emails! We don't have to show you any stinking emails!"...

I think we've used the Alfonso Bedoya line before, but it comes to mind listening to White House Assistant Press Secretary Dana Perino the past few days duck, dodge and stammer the absolute unbelievable drivel about the lost emails of the White House.

It seems the Bushies are more intent in giving their all for an audition on their, excuse me, the Fox News Network's "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?", when it, just on face value, appears to be a lot closer to, Judiciary Committee Chairman, Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT) assessment that "This sounds like the Administration’s version of the dog ate my homework."

Bush is going to get his surge all right, unknowingly challenging every high school hacker and 40-year-old burnt-out computer programmer, living in their parent's basement or garage, who, undoubtedly, have already begun their treasure hunt through the White House either nets, searching for the most embarrassing email they can find.

Some chat room or YouTube will likely see a Rove-penned smoking gun before Leahy does. Or maybe former Senator Rick Santorum, who, after all, did such a fantastic jog unearthing those much-heralded WMD's.

If all their crimes, lies, spins, smears and trampling of the Constitution, ignorance and arrogance against the democracy and the rule of law hasn't motivated the Congress to serve up some Articles of Impeachment, than this latest dust-up should.

They are taunting and laughing at the Congress, and the American people, on just how stupid they believe all of us to be.

They wrapping themselves, most absurdly, in the flag, citing only trying to comply to the Hatch Act, the preservation of presidential records, with tongue firmly implanted in cheek. It's Eddie Haskell, in a suit with a flag lapel pin, and an RNC email account in his back pocket.

And, if it works, if the Congress and people buy into this lame explanation, then it will be in short order they'll start the spin on their Iraq Disaster as having "lost the strategy and plans" for that. Their gall knows no bounds, in case you haven't noticed, they have been advertising for a Fall Guy for the Iraq Fiasco, via their search for a War Czar (and surprise, no takers).

We will likely soon be reliving the Nixon Administration, with the inevitable court battle over Executive Privilege regarding the Lost Emails (and boy, to be a fly on the wall for the oral argument over, not just Rove's string-pulling, but some WH Intern's Horoscope files being tied to National Security).

In fact, it shouldn't be a surprise if Bush revives his WMD comedy routine, and applies it to the Lost Emails.

Forget about the final days of his administration and Bush being a lame duck. We can drop the bird and just go with lame.


"Nope ... No emails here ...."