No, He Will Never Be Accused of Knowing Too Much

Justice is said to be blind, and it will likely be viewed as humane, perhaps, that Lady Liberty was wearing a blindfold today, of all days.

Blind, yes, but not unctuously unconscious

We speak of, of course, the Crony General, Michael "See/Hear/Speak No Evil" Mukasey.

Mukasey Won’t Pursue Charges in Hiring Inquiry

Mr. Mukasey also said it would be unfair, and possibly illegal, for the department to go back and reassign or dismiss those lawyers and other employees who were hired in part because they were seen as trusted conservatives. “Two wrongs do not make a right,” he said.

Holy Cow!

"Two wrongs do not make a right"

How about hundreds-of-thousands of wrongs, you know, like the entire span of the regime of the Bush Grindhouse?

Just how many of their wrongs does it take to make a wrong?

Alex, from Martini Revolution;

Got that? Mukasey is not going to prosecute the political hacks who violated the law and hired less qualified political cronies selected for their political views and loyalty to the GOP cause — sort of a retarded Fuhrer principle. And he’s going to protect the illegally-hired underqualified cronies and GOP loyalists, thereby insuring that the original objectives of the illegal scheme are enduring achievements, because they are now protected by the same Civil Service laws which their very hiring violated.

"Two wrongs do not make a right"

Mukasey didn't stop at the preschool cupboard of Mother Hubbard just for that one, he also tossed the bon mots of "But not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime" and that "Negative Publicity’ Is Sufficient Punishment".

Damn, if I ever get bagged for something, I hope the roll of the judicial dice nets me a judge with the moniker of "Tabloid Ted", and just get a couple of months of "Negative Publicity".

Digby, though, offers the sobering, depressing take-away on this;

"The Democrats have achieved the worst of both worlds: conservatives will pay no price for the blatant politicization of the government during the Bush administration and the Democrats will be powerless to clean house once the government is in their hands. That worked out well."

So, as often as we have done here on The Garlic, when it comes to the Bush Grindhouse, we fade out with a link to this tune.

Tonight, we ramp it up, with the icon of pure goodness, Doris Day, from the Hitchcock gem "The Man Who Knew Too Much" (the second Hitchcock make of this, from the 1950's).

'Que Sera Sera' in "The Man Who Knew Too Much"




And, if we want to read into this, using little Hank as a symbol for lost, and trapped, justice, unfortunately, just singing this song won't bring these crooks, these dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds, to the proper accountability they deserve.

Ahhh, if only life was like the movies.


Bonus Injustice Department Riffs

Emptywheel: I Hate to Say I Told You So…

Larisa Alexandrovna: Mukasey is no Elliot Richardson...

D-Day: Enforce The Laws? Sorry, Not My Job

Kate Klonick: Mukasey to Bar Association: "The System Failed"

Steve Benen: Attorney General tells ABA: Not every crime is a crime

Pass The Word ... Mukasey Lies!

Was The Mukasy Vote Part Of That Rovian New Math?

Maybe He Should Try Monster.Com ...

I could while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head, I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a job.

I'd unravel ev'ry riddle
For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain

With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln,
If you only had a job.

Oh, I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore,
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more.

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a job--Whoa!

Well, Alberto Gonzales's head may well just be full of straw, being he sure as hell didn't show much, if any, smarts while he was the Crony General.

Let's see ... The Commander Guy (and Cheney) made all his decisions, and Karl Rove, essentially, ran the Injustice Department, so "Fredo" was, basically, an extremely well-paid hat rack.

And, it still causes a shudder to think, at one point in time, he was being touted for the Supreme Court!

What prompts this additional scorn (not that any particular reason is really needed) on the former Crony General?

It is a delicious sentence in the NYT article today ("In Searching for New Job, Gonzales Sees No Takers") on the trials and tribulations of post-Crony General life;

What makes Mr. Gonzales’s case extraordinary is that former attorneys general, the government’s chief lawyer, are typically highly sought.

Man, that's pretty bad.

How many other nitwit henchman have vamoosed the Bush Grindhouse, only to land in fat cat jobs?

I mean, even Fox News hasn't picked him up!

Wow, he really a sorry-ass case.

Cliff Schecter, in his post "Alberto Gonzales can’t get arrested" cites "I guess lying under oath and helping to destroy what was once a thriving democracy just didn’t pay off, huh Gonzo?"

And Jeff Fecke, over on Shakeville, relishes the karma in his "Alberto Gonzales Will Work for Food", but does offer Fredo a good tip on finding work.

More from the NYT article;

Despite those credentials, he left office last August with a frayed reputation over his role in the dismissal of several federal prosecutors and the truthfulness of his testimony about a secret eavesdropping program. He has had no full-time job since his resignation, and his principal income has come from giving a handful of talks at colleges and before private business groups.

The greatest impediment to Mr. Gonzales’s being offered the kind of high-salary job being snagged these days by lesser Justice Department officials, many lawyers agree, is his performance during his last few months in office. In that period, he was openly criticized by lawmakers for being untruthful in his sworn testimony. His conduct is being investigated by the Office of the Inspector General of the Justice Department, which could recommend actions from exonerating him to recommending criminal charges. Friends set up a fund to help pay his legal bills.

Yesiree Bob, nothing closes the deal like telling your prospective employer that you may need some time off, because you're likely to be indicted.

Doesn't some conservative, or some Right Wing Freak Show person need a new hat rack?

Bonus Fredo Follies

"He aggressively and successfully pursued public corruption ..."

Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Oh No! ... Missing White House Emails ... Lawyers That Fly ...

The sand in the hourglass almost ran out ...

Before they could relinquish the title of "lame duck" and slither off with just being "lame" ...

And cutting it close, before the weight-challenged lady sang, we finally discover something - one thing - The Bush Grindhouse is actually good at (well, perhaps not good, but proficient);

White House: Computer hard drives tossed

"When workstations are at the end of their lifecycle and retired ... the hard drives are generally sent off-site to another government entity for physical destruction," the White House said in a sworn declaration filed with U.S. Magistrate Judge John Facciola."

Rest assured though, the Bush Grindhouse isn't sitting idle, they're not ignoring the subpoenas, and they do want to come clean and resolve any lingering issues as to how they usurped the Constitution, corrupted the government and operated, basically, day-to-day, violating the law.

"The White House says it does not know if any e-mails are missing, but is looking into the matter."

I see a movie coming out of all this

Deep, in the bowels of the White House, a Terry Gilliam-inspired, Brazil-like office, with futuristic-type computers, all types of drone-looking, officious government workers, sorting through and sending White House emails, through color-coded tubes, to be shredded.

Than the memo/order comes.

Someone - Congress, a plaintiff, whoever - is looking for all emails related to "Fired U.S. Attorneys", only, because there's so much email shredding traffic going on - plus all the illegal NSA wiretapping that's hitting the line - there's a glitch, and a search is conducted for "Flying U.S. Attorneys".

Before the sun sets, hundreds of attorneys across the land, that happen to be licenced pilots, are rounded up (and how ironic would it be that, at least, one of them, is named "Buttle"?)

(Or, someone can make a commercial ... Rather than use a stereotyped American Indian, standing in litter, a small tear on his cheek, they can go with a stereotyped computer technician from India, standing next to a pile of destroyed White House hard drives, with a small tear on his cheek)

They destroy the hard drives ...

From just about any other entity, any other administration (except, of course, Nixon's), that would sound reasonable, professional, sober ...

From this regime, though, it's about as valid as saying "the dog ate them".

Time to for another cue up of Que Sera Sera...


Bonus, Not Lost, Links

Praire Weather: Bush's medication has kicked in, the servants have scrubbed the scene of the crime and removed all evidence

Jaspon Leopold/Truthout: Missing White House Emails Match Plame Time Frames

Paul Kiel/TPM: A Short History of The White House Email Retention Policies

The Carpetbagger Report: Years of White House emails reportedly gone forever

Think Progress: Fratto: ‘We Have Absolutely No Reason To Believe Any E-mails Are Missing’

Chopped Garlic: "Emails? We ain't got no emails! We don't need no emails! We don't have to show you any stinking emails!"...


Bonus Bonus

Clip from BRAZIL (Buttle's Arrest w/ Eng subs)

The Friday Night Bag Job

Boy, he may not know what torture, or waterboarding is, but our new Crony General has it down, when it comes to Bag Jobs!

Mukasey won't enforce Contempt Citations

"Here is your Friday News Dump™. And boy howdy, is it the sort of thing a failed administration would really try to release after the east coast network news broadcasts ... "

It seems that the See-No-Evil-Hear-No-Evil-Speak-No-Evil Crony General Michael Mukasey will not enforce the Congressional Contempt Citations, against Karl Rove and Harriet Miers, for their roles in the firing of the U.S. Attorneys, because ... Drum roll, please ...

"... Mukasey says they committed no crime ..."

Holy Scales of Justice, Batman!

Wasn't it just nearly 35-years ago, in what became known as the "Saturday Night Massacre", when the United States Attorney General resigned, in protest against unitary power, and the Executive Branch usurping the Constitution?

But, then again, times change, and we may have this Crony General all wrong.

He might not know torture, but he, apparently, has a keen eye, and innate sixth sense for being able to determine what is, or isn't a crime

Get this man a Greyhound Hot Seat Special pass!

Ship this Crony General around the country, he can clear up the entire country's court systems' backlog - probably, without breaking a sweat!

It can be like an inspection, kind-of-thing.

With, or without his jackboots, they line up all the wrongdoers, the arrested and indicted, and Crony General Mukasey walks up and down, perhaps giving him a riding crop, for the effect, tapping them on the shoulder ... Guilty .. Guilty ... Innocent ... Innocent, as he goes up and down the lines.

It is, apparently, as easy as that.

Though, this may backfire on them ... I mean, a few guilty ones may slip by him, especially if they are crafty enough to tell the Crony General that "the President said I could do it".

There it is, the Pass Go and Collect $200 magic bullet.

That seems to be about the extent of any investigation that Crony General Mukasey needs.

No gumshoe, pounding-the-pavement for this Crony General.

No hours, upon hours, under a single, hot, glaring light bulb, of interrogation (after all, any type of interrogation, harsh or otherwise, isn't, exactly Mukasy's strong suit).

Just let justice rip ... Shoot it straight from the gut!

Wait a minute ... Again, we underestimate the Bush Grindhouse.

Perhaps the Director of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, passed along, to Crony General Mukasey, the secrets of "feeling in your gut", after he became the "Human Terror Alert".

Move over McGruff, we have now Crony General Michael Mukasey, not a crime-fighter, rather, a crime-decider!


Bonus Crony General Mukasey Riffs

Eli/Firedoglake: Rule Of Law Still Clinging To Life

CNN: Attorney general declines to investigate Bush advisers

Was The Mukasy Vote Part Of That Rovian New Math?

The Crony General Slinks Away ... "I have seen tyranny, dishonesty, corruption, and depravity of types I never thought possible"

Top Ten Cloves: Other Conditions President Bush Has To Allow Rove and Miers To Testify Before Congress



















To the kennels for you, Canine Cop Boy ... There's a new Crime-Decider in town, and he isn't interested in taking a bite out of it

Top Ten Cloves: If Monica Goodling's Wedding Plays Out Like Her Last Job

News Item: Breaking: Monica Goodling Is Engaged!

10. In unusual step, the DOJ is notifying all Government contractors of Goodlings' Wedding Registry

9. Reception will be in a Congressional Hearing Room motif

8. Pat Robertson will offer one of his special blessings for the couple

7. All emails about the wedding will be sent "directly up to Goodling and outside the system"

6. Justice of the Peace who will perform ceremony got licensed from Regent College

5. Goodling not sure if she will say "I Do", or plead the 5th Amendment

4. Goodling had Barbara Comstock do a thorough "opposition research" on her prospective husband

3. Bridesmaids and ushers will be chosen strictly along party affiliation

2. Alberto Gonzales will pull her aside, before the wedding, to talk to her about what to say during the wedding

1. Karl Rove is planning the whole thing!


Bonus Monica/DOJ Riffs

Think Progress: Monica Goodling engaged to conservative blogger

Attaturk/FDL: Just Perfect for Marching to Wagner Together

Dana Milbank: Monica's Own Monica Problem

"He aggressively and successfully pursued public corruption ..."

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'


Here's Monica, practicing for her ring fitting

Karl Rove: “Be prepared! Find the bastards. And pile on!”

Was it coincidence or conspicuous of Vanity Fair, to have their February 2008 Proust Questionnaire be our favorite Etch-A-Sketcher, Karl Rove?

He, of election infamy and New Math on the eve of the Iowa Caucus?

They did frame it properly, in the first sentence of the introduction;

"A principal architect of the disastrous presidency of George W. Bush ..."

Fairly mundane responses from the Turd Blossom, until the final question - "What is your motto?";

"I like the one that used to be the motto on the unit coin of the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment, the Blackhorse: “Be prepared! Find the bastards. And pile on!”

Pile on, indeed ...

And it appears the conservatives are beginning to do that.

Andrew Sullivan, perhaps not the first, but likely what will become a reoccurring theme as the 2008 Elections move on, writing late last night, on how the Iowa Caucus-goers defined their politics, hung one on Rove;

"One is a national party; the other is on its way to being an ideological church. The damage Bush and Rove have done - revealed in 2006 - is now inescapable."

May the piling on continue, be it the corruption of the Justice Department, the firing of the U.S. Attorneys, the Siegalman Case, or the bevy of other evil doings Rove brought on.

It should end up being a very large pile ...

Bonus Links

The Infamous Proust Questionnaire

Le Questionnaire de Proust

PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

The Crony General: "Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time ..."

This should have been Pay-Per-View today ... Line up the tour, secure the "eight-page layout with Viceroy" ...

The Crony General is not a thinking man!

The Decider Guy won't fire him ... The Crony General, himself, is blinded that he is a walking joke and won't resign ... And the Congress is equally blind, not willing to lay a hand on any of these monumental lawbreakers ...

The fact that Crony General Alberto Gonzales will wake up tomorrow, and still have his job should have the entire Department of Injustice (those that haven't taken the Omerta to the Bush Grindhouse), including the Federal Judiciary, pulling a "sick out" ... Aw hell, just go out on strike ...Refuse to work under this person ... Demand, by your job action, The Commander Guy throw his ass out of the building.

I only saw a brief bit of his testimony today, before the Senate Judiciary Committee. Then, later, various clips from various news programs.

It was jaw-dropping.

Gonzales was absolutely child-like, saying anything that popped into the thing resting on his shoulders, even the most bizarre and outlandish statements, almost as if his speech was subtitled, emblazoned with "lying" as he spoke, only digging himself deeper into the lies.

At times, it played out, with the same joie de vive as the infamous Monty Python "Argument" skit.

Of the multitude of postings filling up the web this evening, to give you a good sense of the absurdity the Crony General is, check out The Washington Post's Andrew Cohen's "Gonzo on the Hill: A Comedic Tragedy".

Digby is in sync with the opening of this post, as she ends her "Depends On What The Definition Of Program Is" with "This man is an insult to the constitution. Impeach him. Get him out of there. Whatever it takes."

More On The Crony General

TPMmuckraker.com: Gonzales Memo Widened Cheney's Office Access to DoJ Case Info

TPMmuckraker.com - Gonzales: I Only Visited Ashcroft's Hospital Bed Because Congress Wanted It

The Raw Story: Senator stumps Gonzales over authority granted to Cheney to intervene in Justice probes

The Crony General ... On The Garlic

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Cold Body Assoc. Denounces Gonzales For Finger-Pointing, Break In Tradition; "Blaming McNulty At This Point In Time Is Scurrilous"; CBA Membership Upset, Fears Could Be "Open Season" On Scapegoats

Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

"I could be arguing in my spare time ..."

And The Warehouse of Shoes That Are Still To Drop ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Well, just taking care of some late business here.

Funny thing, being away for a week, or so, it's pretty remarkable that the Crony General is still the Crony General.

The pat-on-the-back could still be coming, not just from what has come out already , and about, our Injustice Department, but the warehouse of shoes that are still to drop.

Then again, it really isn't a big surprise. The Bush Grindhouse has excelled, beyond all others, at incompetence - from the Pentagon, to FEMA, now Injustice and right up to the doorsteps of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Since we've already had one "Godfather-like" scene, Fredo probably should be wary if some Al Neri-type from the Grindhouse, or Darth Vader's office inviting him to go fishing.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll May 21 - May 27, 2007

President Bush will get rid of Crony General Alberto Gonzales by ...

1. Having Karl Rove send a fresh list of attorneys to fire over to the Justice Department, with Gonzales' name the only one on it Tally 33%

2. The Death Knell: On camera, pats him on the back and says "Fredo, you're doing a heck of a job!" Tally 30%

3. The way he's done most of his underhanded business - via Signing Statement Tally 20%

4. Giving him another bump up, to the Presidency of the World Bank Tally 18%

This week’s Poll - President Bush is so anxious to push his Immigration Bill forward because ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Cold Body Assoc. Denounces Gonzales For Finger-Pointing, Break In Tradition

"Blaming McNulty At This Point In Time Is Scurrilous"; CBA Membership Upset, Fears Could Be "Open Season" On Scapegoats

In a stinging, biting statement, the Cold Body Association denounced Crony General Alberto Gonzales this afternoon, for his comments this morning, blaming Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty for the U.S. Attorney Firing Scandal that has engulfed the Justice Department.

"Blaming McNulty," said CBA President Hiram Jenkowski, "at this point in time is scurrilous."

McNulty had, only yesterday, announced his resignation, indicating he would leave the department at the end of the summer, or, if a candidate was approved by the Senate sooner.

Gonzales, speaking at the National Press Club this morning, laid the blame for the scandal clearly at the feet of McNulty

"You have to remember, at the end of the day, the recommendations reflected the views of the deputy attorney general. He signed off on the names. And he would know better than anyone else, anyone in this room, anyone — again, the deputy attorney general would know best about the qualifications and the experiences of the United States attorneys community, and he signed off on the names."

The Crony General, who has testified twice before Congress, has defended himself , saying there was "nothing improper" in the firing, of now, up to 12 U.S. Attorneys.

Calls for Gonzales to resign have grown, and his appearances in testifying have left lawmakers stunned, at his lack of memory and knowledge on the workings of his own department.

"This is a profound break in our tradition," continued Jenkowski. "The Crony General knows better than anyone on how egregious his comments are. It's very clear in our by-laws, that you wait until a person has resigned or retired - the proverbial door-hitting-them-on-the ass moment - before you go around finger-pointing and laying blame."

The Cold Body Association claims to have "thousands" of members and is often relied on to mediate, and at times, intervene, in firings and resignations, ruling on what slurs, slams and other unjustified statements can be made, by both employer and employee.

"This has upset our membership terribly," said Jenkowski. "We've been flooded since this morning, with telephone calls and emails, all asking what this means ... Is it open season on us? ... Some have told us that they are holding off on retiring, fearing, instead of receiving a gold watch, they'll get buried in accusations ... At least six different members have said they've torn up their resignation letters."

Jenkowski stopped short of saying the CBA would lodge formal charges against the Crony General.

"He's on thin ice, as it is. If he gets fired, or impeached, than it's out of our hands and over to our sister association, the PPA.

The Political Patronage Association (PPA), a non-profit organization based in Chicago, is supporting the CBA in their protest and has called on Gonzales to retract his comments and immediately name a friend, donor or unqualified private or government employee to fill McNulty's position.

The PPA represents everyone, from political appointees, political hacks, No-Show employees and generations of relatives hired for government positions in which they are not qualified, and came to the defense of former FEMA Director Michael Brown back in 2005, after Brown was fired and blamed for the poor response to Hurricane Katrina.

"If by his statements today," added Jenkowski, the Crony General wants to start burning bridges, then so be it. We have a few CBA members that are still to testify before Congress, so, you can expect some fireworks and, likely, a few words about Gonzalez may just may make their way into the transcripts."

In a related matter, the CBA did approve a request from the World Bank, so that they could begin making defaming statements about bank president Paul Wolfowitz "before the door hits him in the ass."

"This is a situation," claimed Jenkowski, "that the smears and innuendo serve as the catalyst for forcing the departure, and in certain cases - certainly pertaining to Wolfowitz - we allow it."

Bonus Links

Administration Withheld E-Mails About Rove

Voter-Fraud Complaints by GOP Drove Dismissals

Fingerprints

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'












Crony General Alberto Gonzales has run afoul of the Cold Body Association, for his comments today, placing the blame for the U.S. Attorney Firing Scandal on Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty

It's A Rovey Tuesday

My, My, My ...

What do we pick from today? ... Cheney, huffing and puffing, ready to blow the house down? ... Cheney getting impeached?

Or perhaps the Chief Decider, deciding to continue to sell the invasion and occupation of Iraq, and stay in the middle of their Civil War, with more fear mongering and three-year-old talking points?

Or Paul "It'll Pay For Itself" Wolfowitz, engaged in his own, little private, Dog Day Afternoon (And would Wolfie be the Al Pacino character, or is he Leon?).

No, we go with the little engine that could, via the Los Angeles Times report today - "Low-key office launches high-profile inquiry".

The Office of Special Counsel is going after the big cheese, Karl Rove, for violation of the Hatch Act, the missing White House emails, among other things.

Now, it could end up being nothing, or, perhaps, those five appearances Rove made before the Libby Grand Jury allowed Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald to build up a nice little file that, maybe, just maybe, he dropped into the In Basket, on his way out the door.

At any rate, we have a song for another member of the Bush Grindhouse

Throw on the Stones and sing along

Rovey Tuesday

He would never say where the next lie came from
Scooter don't matter, he's gone
While Bush isn't that bright
It is in Cheney's darkest night
No one knows
His lies that comes and goes

Goodbye, Rovey Tuesday
Who could hang an indictment on you?
When you lie with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you...

Don't question why Iraq needs to be so free
He'll tell you it's the only way to be
He's just Bush's Brain
With a smear, ready to inflame
And everything's lost
If the Dem's don't pay the cost

There's no time to lose, I heard him say
Bashing the Dems is merely child's play
Crying all the time
About every silly crime
As he rubs their faces in slime
Ain't life unkind?

Goodbye, Rovey Tuesday
Who could hang an indictment on you?
When you lie with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you...

Breaking News! Gonzales To Shift Testimony, Has New Excuse

AG To Cite 'Circuit City' Policy, Claim Replacement Attorneys Costing DOJ Less; Fired USA's Can Reapply in Ten Weeks

In yet another stunning twist to the growing scandal, sources tell The Garlic that Crony General Alberto Gonzales will abandon the expected testimony he was to deliver today, when he testifies before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and instead, deliver a brand new excuse for the firing of eight U.S. Attorneys.

Gonzales will tell the committee that he actually was implementing what now has become known at the "Circuit City Policy".

The eight U.S. Attorneys fired were replaced with attorneys who are willing to work for less money, saving the Department of Justice, tens-of-thousands of dollars in their budget.

Gonzales will stop short of saying the fired attorneys were overpaid, as Circuit City cited when they implemented their policy, and the Crony General will announce that the fired attorneys can reapply for their jobs - at the lower pay scale now in place - in 10-weeks.

When apprised to the shift planned by Gonzales, Judiciary Committee Chairman, Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT) rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.

"We've gone from the dog ate my homework, to do you want fries with that order," huffed Leahy. "I suppose this means now that the DOJ attorneys now get an employee discount if they purchase a new stereo."

Circuit City, the third largest electronics retailer in the United States, with revenues over $11-Billion, caused an uproar last month, when they fired over 3,400 employees for the reason of they were paid too highly, and replaced then with lower-paid workers.

Much like the fired U.S. Attorneys, Circuit City justified the move, saying the firings had nothing to do with job performance, but rather, to improve the company's bottom line.

The Gonzales shift comes against a backdrop of the Senate committee considering offering immunity to former Gonzales aide, Monica Goodling, to testify. Goodling had previously stated she would plead the 5th Amendment if called before the committee.

Additionally, millions of email messages, between the White House and DOJ, are missing, some of which may be related and/or specifically dealing with the fired U.S. Attorneys. White House staff, such as Karl Rove and others, used an email system provided to them by the Republican National Committee, which has fueled speculation that they did so to avoid investigations.

Gonzales himself is said to have been "studying" over the past two weeks, as preparation for his appearance today.

The Crony General, in shooting a shot across the Senate committee's bow, penned an Op-Ed in The Washington Post this past weekend, offering little new information and citing he has done nothing improper or has anything to hide.

Gonzales gave no indication in the Op-Ed of the new 'Circuit City Policy' that he will, apparently, offer in today's testimony.

Leahy indicated he would wait to hear the Crony General's testimony, before making any decisions on subpoenaing Circuit City executives or emails.

Links

Bush, Gonzales Reportedly Discussed Fired Prosecutor

Aborted DOJ Probe Probably Would Have Targeted Gonzales

Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Did Crony General Alberto Gonzales come up with the 'Circuit City Policy' for firing eight U.S. Attorney's, or did the White House?

His Fly Is Down and Nobody Wants To Tell Him ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Poor, Poor Alberto.

With so may monikers being attached to him lately, from "Dead Man Walking" to "Gone-Zo", it seems more that he is the simple-minded dolt at the party, who goes around all evening with his fly down, and nobody wants to tell him.

Our Crony General just doesn't get it, which, after all, isn't so shocking for a member of the upper Bush Management team.

Everytime he opens his mouth, it seems, there's one or two new revelations, contradicting his new position and what he did or didn't do in the firing of the eight U.S. Attorneys.

Take yesterday, for instance.

The Crony General promulgated an Op-Ed in The Washington Post, claiming, among other things, he has nothing to hide.

Then, today, like clockwork, came the blaring headline - "Ex-Justice Official's Statements Contradict Gonzales on Firings"

And this - "Conservatives to Bush: Fire Gonzales"

Now, we've been told that the Crony General has been practicing, rehearsing and beefing up to prepare for his testimony, scheduled for tomorrow but now postponed until Thursday, due to the gun violence at Virginia Tech (cue the conspiracy; Bush needed something huge to get Iraq - and the Crony General - out of the headlines) and you have to wonder if he had the radio on ... Or was watching television with a cracked book open in front of him.

And why would the White House want him to testify again? Is it to score some talking points for the cameras? You'll have to fly across many a hurricane-ravaged city to find anyone who doesn't believe the firings were political.

Or is the White House resigned that they have to keep him on. Maybe, like their search for a War Czar, they can't find anyone to take the job. Nobody wants to jump on a sinking ship and, likely, no lawman worth his handcuffs wants to take a position that has them, not battling statutes, but rather being a stodge for the White House, running their agenda and not handling the citizen's business.

With the DOJ's morale at rock bottom, and their integrity now off that table, perhaps that's what it is all about.

Little Alberto has been, and is to be, more Crony and less General.

And that suits Bush & Co. just fine.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll April 7 - April 14, 2007

Crony General Alberto Gonzales is said to have cancelled his vacation in order to practice for his upcoming testimony before Congress. Gonzales is likely to rehearsing most, the phrases ...

1. Hey, this is all Karl Rove's doing ... Get him up here and grill that bastard ... Tally 31%

2. The U.S. Attorneys serve at the pleasure of the President and there was nothing illegal or wrong about removing them Tally 29%

3. Senator, I have no recollection of that Tally 23%

4. No Senator, I don't recall saying that Tally 17%

This week’s Poll - Despite his absurd and misleading statements about conditions in Iraq, and his third-place, 1st Quarter fund-raising finish, Senator John McCain's meltdown won't be complete until ....

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote


When you get to the hearing room, Mr. Crony General, make sure you check your trousers and be sure your fly is up

Chopped Garlic: "Emails? We ain't got no emails! We don't need no emails! We don't have to show you any stinking emails!"...

I think we've used the Alfonso Bedoya line before, but it comes to mind listening to White House Assistant Press Secretary Dana Perino the past few days duck, dodge and stammer the absolute unbelievable drivel about the lost emails of the White House.

It seems the Bushies are more intent in giving their all for an audition on their, excuse me, the Fox News Network's "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?", when it, just on face value, appears to be a lot closer to, Judiciary Committee Chairman, Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT) assessment that "This sounds like the Administration’s version of the dog ate my homework."

Bush is going to get his surge all right, unknowingly challenging every high school hacker and 40-year-old burnt-out computer programmer, living in their parent's basement or garage, who, undoubtedly, have already begun their treasure hunt through the White House either nets, searching for the most embarrassing email they can find.

Some chat room or YouTube will likely see a Rove-penned smoking gun before Leahy does. Or maybe former Senator Rick Santorum, who, after all, did such a fantastic jog unearthing those much-heralded WMD's.

If all their crimes, lies, spins, smears and trampling of the Constitution, ignorance and arrogance against the democracy and the rule of law hasn't motivated the Congress to serve up some Articles of Impeachment, than this latest dust-up should.

They are taunting and laughing at the Congress, and the American people, on just how stupid they believe all of us to be.

They wrapping themselves, most absurdly, in the flag, citing only trying to comply to the Hatch Act, the preservation of presidential records, with tongue firmly implanted in cheek. It's Eddie Haskell, in a suit with a flag lapel pin, and an RNC email account in his back pocket.

And, if it works, if the Congress and people buy into this lame explanation, then it will be in short order they'll start the spin on their Iraq Disaster as having "lost the strategy and plans" for that. Their gall knows no bounds, in case you haven't noticed, they have been advertising for a Fall Guy for the Iraq Fiasco, via their search for a War Czar (and surprise, no takers).

We will likely soon be reliving the Nixon Administration, with the inevitable court battle over Executive Privilege regarding the Lost Emails (and boy, to be a fly on the wall for the oral argument over, not just Rove's string-pulling, but some WH Intern's Horoscope files being tied to National Security).

In fact, it shouldn't be a surprise if Bush revives his WMD comedy routine, and applies it to the Lost Emails.

Forget about the final days of his administration and Bush being a lame duck. We can drop the bird and just go with lame.


"Nope ... No emails here ...."

Retro Garlic ... Must Be His Friends and Family Circle ...

Maybe they need his money-raising prowess to bail them out of ... Well, pick a scandal - Crony General Alberto Gonzalez and the "Just Us" Department fiasco? ... The super secret tree house email system that Rove & Co. used in the White House? ... Walter Reed Hospital and the troops that Bush is accusing the Democrats of abandoning? ...

It seems that the King of K Street may be footloose and fancy free in the not-so-distance future.

NBC News reported today that - and at the request of the government - a federal judge may grant a new hearing, to reduce the sentence of Jack Abramoff, as a reward for his cooperation.

NBC News Story

NBC: Abramoff could get reduced sentence; Judge grants request for new hearing, rewarding lobbyist for cooperating

And, back in November 06, on The Garlic ...

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Jack Abramoff Will Gain Favors While In Prison

Or maybe, they're just trying to distract us again.


Link

Retro Garlic - The Iraq Jar

Ohhh, And We Had Such Nice Plans For Shock and Awe II -The Sequel ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Well, among other things to be thankful for having the British-Iran Hostage Situation resolve peacefully, is that Vice President Dick Cheney and the rest of the pro-war Bush Administration didn't get involved.

No doubt that the VP Darth Vader had his Iran Study Group cranking out all the options of war and attack (Shock and Awe II - The Sequel!), but the British stiffened their upper lips and said "No Thanks chaps, we'll handle this one", so that the only causalities out of this were the banners and copy of spin, with, perhaps, a new contract for the Lincoln Group, that all got fed into the Secret Bunker's shredder.

Since the Pentagon's own Inspector General has put the final bullets into the Bush-Cheney claims of Al Qaeda being in pre-occupied Iraq, the Boys on Pennsylvania Avenue may very well leaking some talking points that Osama bin Laden's gang is in Iran, and, somehow, was behind or involved in the kidnapping of the British sailors.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll April 1 - April 7, 2007

President Bush's advice to Tony Blair and the British, regarding their Iran Hostage Situation should include;

1. We'll lend you Cheney, and hire the Lincoln Group; They'll spin this to the point most Brits will believe the Iranians pulled off the Great Train Robbery Tally 41%

2. Changing the name of their iconic dish to Freedom Fish and Chips Tally 28%

3. When giving press conferences, wear RAF Flight Suit Tally 17%

4. If Blair can't pull it off, getting someone in his government to declare "Democracy is messy ... Stuff Happens" Tally 14%

This week’s Poll - Crony General Alberto Gonzales is said to have cancelled his vacation in order to practice for his upcoming testimony before Congress. Gonzales is likely to rehearsing most, the phrases ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Look No Further, Your Handy Baseball Primer

Ahhhh ... The smell of pine tar ... The roar of the crowd ...

Yes, it's back ... Baseball season is upon us and already, The Garlic has a scoop.

President Bush couldn't throw out the first pitch today, at the Washington Nationals home opener ... his arm was sore after tossing out those eight U.S. Attorneys.

While the rest of Washington is eyeballing and picking over the latest financials of the presidential candidates, the rest of America is sharpening their pencils, on the ready to record every twitch, movement, dropped fly, missed bunt and 6-4-3 double-play that takes place on the field of dreams around the country.

Don't be left out of the action (or, to get in the spirit of things, left in the on-deck circle). The Garlic today reprises one if its' most popular posts, and as Sonny Earl said, "the best darned baseball primer on the world wide web."

We present for your edification and enjoyment;

Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?

And boy, did we get letters

Look What They're Saying! Readers Write In On Baseball Piece

More Letters on The Garlic’s Baseball Piece: Look What They're Saying Redux!

More Letters on The Garlic’s Baseball Piece!

World Series Prompts More Baseball Letters

Other Garlic Baseball Riffs

Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids

With Red Sox and Yankees Bounced, MLB Postpones Playoffs

Iraqis Pause Vote Count To Celebrate Chisox Pennant

Iraq Pulls Late Switch On Voters; Will Follow Red Sox And Have Two Presidents

South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs

Politics and Sports Collide; Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone