The PetraeusReportpalooza: "After two days, no answer to 'how this ends'"

Well, Well, Well ...

For all the build-up... All the hype... The sprinkling of the Pixie Dust... The months of "Wait For Petraeus" ... "Wait For September" ... The Photo-Ops... The Dog-and-Pony shows...

It all boiled down to this;

McClatchy Newspapers: After two days, no answer to 'how this ends'

And the money shot;

The Nation - Petraeus: I "Don't Know" If Iraq War Makes U.S. Safer

Doesn't it just want to make you scream "Help Me Mr. Wizard?"


Drizzle, drazzle, dradle, drone ... The highlights


Sniff ... Sniff ... Can You Smell A Turd Blossom?

Think Progress: Is Petraeus’ Drawdown Part Of The White House’s 2008 Political Strategy?


You'll Want To Get In Line For The Time-Shares

TPMmuckraker: How Does the Anbar Shift Relate to Reconciliation?


They Kicked Him In The Gut, and Then Knocked His Teeth Out For Mumbling About it

Washington Post: Senators Take Petraeus, Crocker to Task


Now, Joe, Did You Come Up With That All By Yourself, or Did You Pull It Out of the Water Bucket Your Carrying?

TalkLeft: Lieberman Asks For War With Iran; Petraeus Turns Him Down


And Here's A Shout-Out To The Vice-President

Andrew Sullivan: The Surge's Real Target: Iran?


Hey, You're Stepping On Friedman's Turf, With That There, Buster

'Eugene Robinson: Six Months' Without End


Who Can I Turn To ... When Nobody Needs Me

Ezra Klein - The Dispensable Man: David Petraeus has admitted David Petraeus doesn't matter. Will anyone believe him?


Bonus Links

The PetraeusReportpalooza

"And Now We Come To The Sanity Clause ..."

GIVE ME A "P" ... GIVE ME A "E" ... GIVE ME A "T" ... GIVE ME A "R" ... GIVE ME A "A" ... GIVE ME A "E" ... GIVE ME A "U" ... GIVE ME A "S" ...

The PetraeusReportpalooza

Perhaps I was bleary-eyed, and beaten down by the PetraeusReportpalooza, or over-anxious at having to ignore the daily, back-to-back 'Family Feud' viewing ritual, in an effort not to miss one surge-pulsing moment of the hearing today ...

But I could have sworn that General Extraordinaire David Petraeus turned the committee members' glasses of water into wine ...

You missed it?

How's about nearly seven-hours of "things are improving", "need more time" and the touting of a troop withdrawal next spring, one that would be taking place anyway (unless the Pentagon was taking the bold step of classifying soldiers as indentured servants), as if the Bush Grindhouse was actually listening to the country as to ending this nightmare.

We turn the floor over to the voices of others ...

Let's Take Controversy, for $100, Alex ...

The Swamp: Petraeus 'Betray Us' ad is group's 'shock and awe'


CNN Political Ticker: Dems join GOP in slamming ad attacking Petraeus


Kevin Drum: COOKING THE BOOKS....


Joe Gandelman: With Enemies Like This, General Petraeus Gets New Friends


But Let's Not Give MoveOn.Org All The Credit

TimesOnLine: Americans doubt ‘General Betraeus’ over troop surge

(h/t to Jane Hamsher over on Firedoglake.com)


Flack ... Flak ... Rhymes With ... Political Hack

Think Progress: Petraeus Falsely Claims That Six Months Ago, ‘No One Would Have Forecast’ Anbar’s Success


Big Tent Democrat: On Petraeus: The Manufacturing Of A Storyline


Think Progress - REPORT: Petraeus Spent At Least 17 Days In August Flacking For Bush’s Escalation


Jane Hamsher: No More Flack for Iraq


You Want Charts?

Kevin Drum: PETRAEUS'S DRAWDOWN...


David Kurtz: Running the Numbers


John Cole: Look At All the Pretty Colors


Tell'em What They Won, Johnny ...


Michael Abramowitz: Petraeus Leaves Large Questions Unanswered


I See ... Dead Policies ...

Glenn Greenwald: Stop the DC Establishment



I've got the world on a string ... I'm sitting on a rainbow ... Got the string around my finger ...

Good Post Alert - Launching Brand Petraeus

Well, we had the prelude, and pregame festivities... Not to mention The Commander Guy's extravaganza at Camp Cupcake, perhaps to, among other dubious things, drop off some autographed copies of his new book.

But today, it's SHOWTIME, the real-time running of the gameplan, with the well-anticipated spotlight being shone on General Extraordinaire, David Petraeus, and his Robin-like sidekick, U.S. Ambassador to Iraq, Ryan Crocker, the guy that lives in the biggest house - with full services and amenities - in Baghdad.

They are still, at the time of this writing, in-session, with the questioning, pretty much - on how hard or soft - coming along party lines.

So, before you start wading through the transcripts, and swimming through the pundits, check this out.

Tom Engelhardt, over at TomDispatch.com, offered his third installment of his "By The Numbers" series yesterday;

Launching Brand Petraeus

It's a great read, so check it out (as well as the links there to Part 1 and Part 2)

The Crony General: "Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time ..."

This should have been Pay-Per-View today ... Line up the tour, secure the "eight-page layout with Viceroy" ...

The Crony General is not a thinking man!

The Decider Guy won't fire him ... The Crony General, himself, is blinded that he is a walking joke and won't resign ... And the Congress is equally blind, not willing to lay a hand on any of these monumental lawbreakers ...

The fact that Crony General Alberto Gonzales will wake up tomorrow, and still have his job should have the entire Department of Injustice (those that haven't taken the Omerta to the Bush Grindhouse), including the Federal Judiciary, pulling a "sick out" ... Aw hell, just go out on strike ...Refuse to work under this person ... Demand, by your job action, The Commander Guy throw his ass out of the building.

I only saw a brief bit of his testimony today, before the Senate Judiciary Committee. Then, later, various clips from various news programs.

It was jaw-dropping.

Gonzales was absolutely child-like, saying anything that popped into the thing resting on his shoulders, even the most bizarre and outlandish statements, almost as if his speech was subtitled, emblazoned with "lying" as he spoke, only digging himself deeper into the lies.

At times, it played out, with the same joie de vive as the infamous Monty Python "Argument" skit.

Of the multitude of postings filling up the web this evening, to give you a good sense of the absurdity the Crony General is, check out The Washington Post's Andrew Cohen's "Gonzo on the Hill: A Comedic Tragedy".

Digby is in sync with the opening of this post, as she ends her "Depends On What The Definition Of Program Is" with "This man is an insult to the constitution. Impeach him. Get him out of there. Whatever it takes."

More On The Crony General

TPMmuckraker.com: Gonzales Memo Widened Cheney's Office Access to DoJ Case Info

TPMmuckraker.com - Gonzales: I Only Visited Ashcroft's Hospital Bed Because Congress Wanted It

The Raw Story: Senator stumps Gonzales over authority granted to Cheney to intervene in Justice probes

The Crony General ... On The Garlic

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Cold Body Assoc. Denounces Gonzales For Finger-Pointing, Break In Tradition; "Blaming McNulty At This Point In Time Is Scurrilous"; CBA Membership Upset, Fears Could Be "Open Season" On Scapegoats

Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

"I could be arguing in my spare time ..."

Breaking News! Gonzales To Shift Testimony, Has New Excuse

AG To Cite 'Circuit City' Policy, Claim Replacement Attorneys Costing DOJ Less; Fired USA's Can Reapply in Ten Weeks

In yet another stunning twist to the growing scandal, sources tell The Garlic that Crony General Alberto Gonzales will abandon the expected testimony he was to deliver today, when he testifies before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and instead, deliver a brand new excuse for the firing of eight U.S. Attorneys.

Gonzales will tell the committee that he actually was implementing what now has become known at the "Circuit City Policy".

The eight U.S. Attorneys fired were replaced with attorneys who are willing to work for less money, saving the Department of Justice, tens-of-thousands of dollars in their budget.

Gonzales will stop short of saying the fired attorneys were overpaid, as Circuit City cited when they implemented their policy, and the Crony General will announce that the fired attorneys can reapply for their jobs - at the lower pay scale now in place - in 10-weeks.

When apprised to the shift planned by Gonzales, Judiciary Committee Chairman, Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT) rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.

"We've gone from the dog ate my homework, to do you want fries with that order," huffed Leahy. "I suppose this means now that the DOJ attorneys now get an employee discount if they purchase a new stereo."

Circuit City, the third largest electronics retailer in the United States, with revenues over $11-Billion, caused an uproar last month, when they fired over 3,400 employees for the reason of they were paid too highly, and replaced then with lower-paid workers.

Much like the fired U.S. Attorneys, Circuit City justified the move, saying the firings had nothing to do with job performance, but rather, to improve the company's bottom line.

The Gonzales shift comes against a backdrop of the Senate committee considering offering immunity to former Gonzales aide, Monica Goodling, to testify. Goodling had previously stated she would plead the 5th Amendment if called before the committee.

Additionally, millions of email messages, between the White House and DOJ, are missing, some of which may be related and/or specifically dealing with the fired U.S. Attorneys. White House staff, such as Karl Rove and others, used an email system provided to them by the Republican National Committee, which has fueled speculation that they did so to avoid investigations.

Gonzales himself is said to have been "studying" over the past two weeks, as preparation for his appearance today.

The Crony General, in shooting a shot across the Senate committee's bow, penned an Op-Ed in The Washington Post this past weekend, offering little new information and citing he has done nothing improper or has anything to hide.

Gonzales gave no indication in the Op-Ed of the new 'Circuit City Policy' that he will, apparently, offer in today's testimony.

Leahy indicated he would wait to hear the Crony General's testimony, before making any decisions on subpoenaing Circuit City executives or emails.

Links

Bush, Gonzales Reportedly Discussed Fired Prosecutor

Aborted DOJ Probe Probably Would Have Targeted Gonzales

Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Did Crony General Alberto Gonzales come up with the 'Circuit City Policy' for firing eight U.S. Attorney's, or did the White House?

Breaking News! Hagel Speech Causes Havoc

Payless Shoes Flooded With Job Seekers, Resumes

Applicants Looking For " The Safe Jobs Senator Hagel Talked About"; Tancredo Offers Threats

Officials from the Payless ShoeSource Corporation are managing a crises today, as their shoe stores around the country have been flooded with job seekers, waiving resumes and seeking to fill out applications.

The sudden boom, a Payless spokesperson said, was a direct result of the impassioned speech given by Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE) during a Senate hearing on Wednesday.

"Not only our stores are bogged down with huge crowds," continued the spokesperson, "but our website nearly crashed and the fax machines in Human Resources have been going, non-stop."

During a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on Wednesday, in which the committee voted 12-9 on a non-binding resolution opposing President Bush "New Way Forward" plan of sending more troops into Iraq, Hagel chided and challenged his colleagues.

"Sure it's tough. Absolutely. And I think all 100 senators ought to be on the line on this. What do you believe? What are you willing to support? What do you think? Why are you elected? If you wanted a safe job, go sell shoes."

Later, Hagel added;

"I would go back to where I began, and pick up on a point that Chairman [Richard] Lugar mentioned: coherence of strategy. I don't know how many United States senators believe we have a coherent strategy in Iraq. I don't think we've ever had a coherent strategy. In fact, I would even challenge the administration today to show us the plan that the president talked about the other night. There is no plan. I happen to know Pentagon planners were on their way to the Central Com over the weekend. They haven't even Team B'd this plan. . . . And I want every one of you, every one of us, 100 senators, to look in that camera, and you tell your people back home what you think. Don't hide anymore; none of us.

"That is the essence of our responsibility. And if we're not willing to do it, we're not worthy to be seated right here. We fail our country. If we don't debate this . . . we are not worthy of our country."

Internet and Faxes Jammed; Crowd Control Issues

Payless reports that calls, emails and faxes began coming in Wednesday evening, and as news to Hagel's speech spread around the Internet on Thursday, the volume increased.

Soon people began lining up at the stores, carrying resumes and looking to fill out applications, with dozens choosing to camp out on the sidewalks overnight to retain their place in line.

In Boston, hundreds of people lined up outside Payless Shoe Stores, braving sub-zero temperatures, to submit resumes and fill out employment applications. One bundled-up prospect enthusiastically offered that they hoped to get "the safe job Senator Hagel talked about."

"I don't even want to have to offer and opinion to anyone, whether to purchase brown shoes or black shoes." she said. "Just give me safe, no pressure work."

Reports coming into The Garlic say this scene was repeated in cities across the country.

In San Francisco, so many applicants swarmed to a Payless Shoe Store that police were called in, to control the crowd and reroute traffic.

Crowd control also became a problem in other cities, including New York, Chicago, Denver and Atlanta, as street vendors moved from their standard locations to the spots in front of Payless Shoe Stores, creating tensions and some fistfights as people left the line to purchase everything from food, water, and hot cocoa, to mittens and scarves.

The Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota was the scene of the most violence.

After the Payless Shoe Store announced they were out of applications, the crowd went wild, breaking windows and store displays, before ransacking it and starting small fires.

A spokesperson in Senator Hagel's office indicated the Senator was "unaware" of the stampede to Payless Shoe Stores, and urged citizens to act "responsibly".

With Hagel contemplating a possible entry into the 2008 Presidential Race, the spokesperson offered no comment if the Hagel Campaign will seek support from Payless, as well as the shoe industry.

Payless ShoeSource was founded in 1956 in Topeka, Kansas and generated over $2.7 billion in net sales in 2005, selling more than 182 million pairs of shoes. The company operates stores in all 50 U.S. states, plus Puerto Rico, Guam, Saipan, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Canada, Central America, the Caribbean, South America, and opened its first test store in Japan in November, 2004.

Rep. Tancredo Weighs In With Threats

With the Payless Shoe Store in his territory one of the locations experiencing being overrun today, Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO) became irate, lashing out at Hagel and the Payless Shoe Corporation.

"I hope they have proper security at these stores," snorted Tancredo. "I better not find they're looking to go with cheap labor and are hiring illegal aliens. I plan on calling on the Attorney General to send teams of U.S. Marshalls to these stores to verify there isn't any undocumented workers there."

Tancredo indicated that, until the U.S. Marshalls arrive, the Arizona Minutemen promised to monitor the Payless Shoe Stores.

"As to Senator Hagel," continued an angry Tancredo, "I hope he isn't planning to launch a "Shoe Caucus" over there. We already have too many caucuses, with the Blacks and the Latinos. If he starts one, you can bet dollars-to-donuts that I'll add that to my list to abolish."

Yesterday, Tancredo announced he was opposed to race-based groups of lawmakers forming caucuses, as it amounts to segregation. Tancredo indicated he plans on taking measures to abolish such groups.

Tancredo, who holds a harsh position on Immigration and Border Security, is chairman of the Congressional Immigration Reform Caucus, which is not on his list as one he wishes to ban.


Payless Shoe Stores around the country were overrun with job applicants, following Senator Chuck Hagel's speech in the Senate earlier this week