Thursday, April 19, 2007

Breaking News! Gonzales To Shift Testimony, Has New Excuse

AG To Cite 'Circuit City' Policy, Claim Replacement Attorneys Costing DOJ Less; Fired USA's Can Reapply in Ten Weeks

In yet another stunning twist to the growing scandal, sources tell The Garlic that Crony General Alberto Gonzales will abandon the expected testimony he was to deliver today, when he testifies before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and instead, deliver a brand new excuse for the firing of eight U.S. Attorneys.

Gonzales will tell the committee that he actually was implementing what now has become known at the "Circuit City Policy".

The eight U.S. Attorneys fired were replaced with attorneys who are willing to work for less money, saving the Department of Justice, tens-of-thousands of dollars in their budget.

Gonzales will stop short of saying the fired attorneys were overpaid, as Circuit City cited when they implemented their policy, and the Crony General will announce that the fired attorneys can reapply for their jobs - at the lower pay scale now in place - in 10-weeks.

When apprised to the shift planned by Gonzales, Judiciary Committee Chairman, Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT) rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.

"We've gone from the dog ate my homework, to do you want fries with that order," huffed Leahy. "I suppose this means now that the DOJ attorneys now get an employee discount if they purchase a new stereo."

Circuit City, the third largest electronics retailer in the United States, with revenues over $11-Billion, caused an uproar last month, when they fired over 3,400 employees for the reason of they were paid too highly, and replaced then with lower-paid workers.

Much like the fired U.S. Attorneys, Circuit City justified the move, saying the firings had nothing to do with job performance, but rather, to improve the company's bottom line.

The Gonzales shift comes against a backdrop of the Senate committee considering offering immunity to former Gonzales aide, Monica Goodling, to testify. Goodling had previously stated she would plead the 5th Amendment if called before the committee.

Additionally, millions of email messages, between the White House and DOJ, are missing, some of which may be related and/or specifically dealing with the fired U.S. Attorneys. White House staff, such as Karl Rove and others, used an email system provided to them by the Republican National Committee, which has fueled speculation that they did so to avoid investigations.

Gonzales himself is said to have been "studying" over the past two weeks, as preparation for his appearance today.

The Crony General, in shooting a shot across the Senate committee's bow, penned an Op-Ed in The Washington Post this past weekend, offering little new information and citing he has done nothing improper or has anything to hide.

Gonzales gave no indication in the Op-Ed of the new 'Circuit City Policy' that he will, apparently, offer in today's testimony.

Leahy indicated he would wait to hear the Crony General's testimony, before making any decisions on subpoenaing Circuit City executives or emails.


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Did Crony General Alberto Gonzales come up with the 'Circuit City Policy' for firing eight U.S. Attorney's, or did the White House?

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