Is Keith Olbermann Reading The Garlic?

Hmmm ...

We have been, for some time, a fan of Keith Olbermann's 'Countdown' program.

When he started doing his Special Comments, we featured them, in our "Minced Garlic' posts.

Now, these things have happened a few times, hearing some pundit on the tube, or seeing in another's column, something eerily and striking similar to something we put up on The Garlic.

I suppose you can chalk that up to hot news, common, or obvious deductions.

Back on Monday, 24 November, 2008, we posted;

"Breaking ... Mukasey Fainting Due To Deep Introspection; In Middle of Speech, Attorney General Suddenly Realized He Was Part of Bush Administration"

Mukasey, just before passing out, started remembering how he defend Vice President Cheney on Executive Privilege, as well as telcom immunity.

"He had particular inner grief that he was vague on waterboarding."

"Backing the President on wiretapping, and not enforcing court subpoenas was the last thing he said he could remember, before passing out."

Okay, there were numerous snarky riffs on the Crony General droppin' like a sack of potatoes, and The Garlic just happened to be one of them

But then, this past Wednesday, December 3, 2008, during Olbermann's "Bushed" segment of the program (You can watch it HERE);

Number one, our attorney general is not rational-gate. Mr. Mukasey met with reporters today for the first time since he blacked out while giving a speech defending enhanced interrogation and Gitmo and the whole post-traumatic stress bag of tricks two weeks ago.

He told the correspondents that if a military commission were to impose a short sentence on a Gitmo detainee considered to be a dangerous terrorist, it would be suicidal to release the individual even after the individual's sentence had been served. Mr. Mukasey was asked, is that justice? He answered yes.

They still don't know why the attorney general passed out during that speech two weeks ago. Apparently they found nothing medically wrong with him. I don't mean to sound crass but those with psychiatric training would probably suggest that he be examined to rule out the possibility that he collapsed under the weight of all that paranoia, delusions, revenge fantasies and hypocrisy.

Hmmm ...

"He collapsed under the weight of all that paranoia, delusions, revenge fantasies and hypocrisy"

You don't suppose ... No, I'm sure it was just a case of commonality, the obvious, satire and snark that was just begging for it.

Then again, times are tough ...

Maybe I should contact that Mayor in Turkey, see if he can help, or refer a good lawyer to me.

Breaking ... Mukasey Fainting Due To Deep Introspection

In Middle of Speech, Attorney General Suddenly Realized He Was Part of Bush Administration.

Sources close to the Department of Injustice told The Garlic tonight, that the fainting spell that overcame Attorney General Michael Mukasey last week, was due to the sudden realization that he was working for, what history will soon record, the worst President in U.S. History.

Speaking at the Federalist Society in Washington, DC., last Thursday, Mukasey began shaking, slurring his words and then collasped on stage, and, subsequently, rushed to a local area hospital.



Eyewitnesses indicate that Mukasey was conscious, and talking to medical personnel attending to him.

"He realized, well into his speech, his mind was drifting," the source indicated.

"He then, swiftly, became overcome, consumed with the thought, as he was giving his speech, mind you, that he worked for the Bush Administration."

Mukasey, just before passing out, started remembering how he defend Vice President Cheney on Executive Privilege, as well as telcom immunity.

"He had particular inner grief that he was vague on waterboarding."

"Backing the President on wiretapping, and not enforcing court subpoenas was the last thing he said he could remember, before passing out."

Mukasey was released from the hospital the following day, after doctors determined that there were no signs of stroke or that he had a heart attack.

Rumors have circulated around Washington, that Mukasey has been "doctor shopping", seeking one that will give a diagnosis of continued trouble, and provide the Attorney General with a note, indicating he should "stay home and rest, until, at minimum, late January".

More, as this story develops.


Bonus Crony General Riffs

Sidney Blumenthal - The sad decline of Michael Mukasey: His reputation for integrity was meant to restore credibility to the Justice Department. Instead, his remarks on waterboarding show that he, like Alberto Gonzales, has let the White House call the shots

Dahlia Lithwick: Thank You. Now Go to Hell ...Mukasey stonewalls Senate Democrats on water-boarding, and practically everything else

Mukasey Plays The Card ... So, Pelosi, We Need That Table - Now!

Pass The Word ... Mukasey Lies!

No, He Will Never Be Accused of Knowing Too Much

No, He Will Never Be Accused of Knowing Too Much

Justice is said to be blind, and it will likely be viewed as humane, perhaps, that Lady Liberty was wearing a blindfold today, of all days.

Blind, yes, but not unctuously unconscious

We speak of, of course, the Crony General, Michael "See/Hear/Speak No Evil" Mukasey.

Mukasey Won’t Pursue Charges in Hiring Inquiry

Mr. Mukasey also said it would be unfair, and possibly illegal, for the department to go back and reassign or dismiss those lawyers and other employees who were hired in part because they were seen as trusted conservatives. “Two wrongs do not make a right,” he said.

Holy Cow!

"Two wrongs do not make a right"

How about hundreds-of-thousands of wrongs, you know, like the entire span of the regime of the Bush Grindhouse?

Just how many of their wrongs does it take to make a wrong?

Alex, from Martini Revolution;

Got that? Mukasey is not going to prosecute the political hacks who violated the law and hired less qualified political cronies selected for their political views and loyalty to the GOP cause — sort of a retarded Fuhrer principle. And he’s going to protect the illegally-hired underqualified cronies and GOP loyalists, thereby insuring that the original objectives of the illegal scheme are enduring achievements, because they are now protected by the same Civil Service laws which their very hiring violated.

"Two wrongs do not make a right"

Mukasey didn't stop at the preschool cupboard of Mother Hubbard just for that one, he also tossed the bon mots of "But not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime" and that "Negative Publicity’ Is Sufficient Punishment".

Damn, if I ever get bagged for something, I hope the roll of the judicial dice nets me a judge with the moniker of "Tabloid Ted", and just get a couple of months of "Negative Publicity".

Digby, though, offers the sobering, depressing take-away on this;

"The Democrats have achieved the worst of both worlds: conservatives will pay no price for the blatant politicization of the government during the Bush administration and the Democrats will be powerless to clean house once the government is in their hands. That worked out well."

So, as often as we have done here on The Garlic, when it comes to the Bush Grindhouse, we fade out with a link to this tune.

Tonight, we ramp it up, with the icon of pure goodness, Doris Day, from the Hitchcock gem "The Man Who Knew Too Much" (the second Hitchcock make of this, from the 1950's).

'Que Sera Sera' in "The Man Who Knew Too Much"




And, if we want to read into this, using little Hank as a symbol for lost, and trapped, justice, unfortunately, just singing this song won't bring these crooks, these dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds, to the proper accountability they deserve.

Ahhh, if only life was like the movies.


Bonus Injustice Department Riffs

Emptywheel: I Hate to Say I Told You So…

Larisa Alexandrovna: Mukasey is no Elliot Richardson...

D-Day: Enforce The Laws? Sorry, Not My Job

Kate Klonick: Mukasey to Bar Association: "The System Failed"

Steve Benen: Attorney General tells ABA: Not every crime is a crime

Pass The Word ... Mukasey Lies!

Was The Mukasy Vote Part Of That Rovian New Math?

The Longer Morning of a McCain Presidency

Prom Dress Boy is at it again.

In a one-paragraph post, he disparages Barack Obama, Deval Patrick and John Edwards, senselessly, without any context.

The Long Night of an Obama Presidency [Jonah Goldberg]

Reading this piece about the Edwards endorsement of Obama, a cold shiver went down my spine. As scary as a Deval Patrick appointment as AG would be (I've long thought he would be Obama's likely choice), the suggestion that John Edwards would be even considered for Attorney General is horrifying. I really can't think of any mainstream political figure more inappropriate for that job than Edwards.

Hey PD Boy, why is it "scary" and why have you "long thought" Deval Patrick would be Obama's choice for Attorney General?

Was it he was a competent Assistant Attorney General during the Clinton Administration?

Or is this just a little Right Wing Freak Show race-baiting?

As to Edwards, a successful trial attorney, I would get more than a cold shiver down my spine if (and that is a monumental "IF") Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain were to be elected, the nitwit shittrain he would place in that office.

Considering the two Crony Generals of the Bush Grindhouse - the former, Alberto "Huh?" Gonzales and the current, Michael "See No Torture/Hear No Torture" Mukasey - not to mention the overall lawlessness of this current administration, I don't think you RWFSers' should be picking up stones to throw.

Stay in your bubble and stick to trying to cover-up the nightmare of the past 7+-years by calling everyone a fascist.


Prom Dress Boy Riffs

"The morning after always looks grim if you happen to be wearing last night's dress"

Last Nights' Dress Boy Sticks His Neck Out

Sadly No Slaps Down Prom Dress Boy On Bush Legacy

Pass The Word ... Mukasey Lies!

Ed.Note: This was intended to be posted yesterday, however, homefront difficulties surfaced and pulled me away, squashing my writing time)

There is something fun, almost liberating, about calling the Crony General of the United States a liar.

Mukasy's a liar! ... Mukasey's a liar! ... Mukasey's a liar!

Go ahead try it, it's fun, isn't it?

Mukasy's a liar! ... Mukasey's a liar! ... Mukasey's a liar!

Okay, not exactly earth-shaking news, but certainly, a most significant revelation.

And that is was water-carrying, for the Bush Grindhouse's egregious fearmongering, over Telcom Immunity, warrants multiple poxes to be placed on the new Crony General.

I mean, let loose ... Conjure up as many as you can! ... Empty out the cupboard! ... Just keep firing pox, after pox, after pox ... No pox will be too large, or too small ... We can take shifts, but keep the poxes coming!

Last week, at a speech given at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco, the Crony General for the United States, Michael Mukasey, puckered up, and tearfully added his voice to the chorus of lies the Bush Regime has thrown against the wall, in their pursuit of absolute power.

Glenn Greenwald is all over this, big time, first noting the speech last Saturday, and on Thursday, calling for action

The Crony General, in his speech;

"Officials "shouldn't need a warrant when somebody with a phone in Iraq picks up a phone and calls somebody in the United States because that's the call that we may really want to know about. And before 9/11, that's the call that we didn't know about. We knew that there has been a call from someplace that was known to be a safe house in Afghanistan and we knew that it came to the United States. We didn't know precisely where it went."

At that point in his answer, Mr. Mukasey grimaced, swallowed hard, and seemed to tear up as he reflected on the weaknesses in America's anti-terrorism strategy prior to the 2001 attacks. "We got three thousand. . . . We've got three thousand people who went to work that day and didn't come home to show for that," he said, struggling to maintain his composure.

Think Progress has a video of it here.

The Raw Story also covers it, and has a video of Keith Olbermann, in his "Bushed" segment (Olbermann, nightly, hightlights three of the Bush Grindhouse's numberable, and still climbing, scandals)

More from Greenwald;

"This isn't just a matter of academic and historical interest about the 9/11 attacks, although it is that. One of two things almost certainly happened here, each of which is of great importance. Either Mukasey is lying about the 9/11 attacks in order to manipulate Americans into believing that FISA's warrant requirements are what prevented discovery of the 9/11 attacks and caused 3,000 American deaths -- a completely disgusting act by the Attorney General which obviously cannot be ignored. Or, Mukasey has just revealed the most damning fact yet about the Bush's administration's ability and failure to have prevented the attacks -- facts that, until now, were apparently concealed from the 9/11 Commission and the public.

Now, the Crony General is a former judge (Greenwald: "Mike Mukasey was a long-time federal judge and so I feel perfectly comfortable calling that what it is: a brazen lie.") so it's not like he's merely a Bush Grindhouse political hack ...

Wait a minute, what am I saying? ... He's the Crony General ...With the shit train that was on the tracks at the time he was offered the position, no way he didn't agree to play inside the alternate reality, and climb aboard the shit train that is the Bush Grindhouse.

Sooooo ....

He's either lying, playing politics (not to mention exploiting the horror of Sept. 11th) within the long-running Bush policy of lies and fearmongering.

Or, he let slip just how deep an REM snooze the Bush Grindhouse was in when they hijacked the office.

And this would have come before the infamous blow-off of the now infamous August 2001 PDB - "Bin Ladin Determined to Strike in US".

Oh man, either way, this sucks and we can't do enough, can't get them out fast enough, can't heap enough criminal and moral charges on these dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds!

So, let off the steam ....

Mukasey's a liar! ... Mukasey's a liar ... Mukasey's a liar!


Bonus Mukasey Mish-Mash

Digby/Hullabaloo: Clever Gaffes

EmptyWheel/Firedoglake: Snowball

Glenn Greenwald: The DOJ comments on the Mukasey controversy

The Friday Night Bag Job

Boy, he may not know what torture, or waterboarding is, but our new Crony General has it down, when it comes to Bag Jobs!

Mukasey won't enforce Contempt Citations

"Here is your Friday News Dump™. And boy howdy, is it the sort of thing a failed administration would really try to release after the east coast network news broadcasts ... "

It seems that the See-No-Evil-Hear-No-Evil-Speak-No-Evil Crony General Michael Mukasey will not enforce the Congressional Contempt Citations, against Karl Rove and Harriet Miers, for their roles in the firing of the U.S. Attorneys, because ... Drum roll, please ...

"... Mukasey says they committed no crime ..."

Holy Scales of Justice, Batman!

Wasn't it just nearly 35-years ago, in what became known as the "Saturday Night Massacre", when the United States Attorney General resigned, in protest against unitary power, and the Executive Branch usurping the Constitution?

But, then again, times change, and we may have this Crony General all wrong.

He might not know torture, but he, apparently, has a keen eye, and innate sixth sense for being able to determine what is, or isn't a crime

Get this man a Greyhound Hot Seat Special pass!

Ship this Crony General around the country, he can clear up the entire country's court systems' backlog - probably, without breaking a sweat!

It can be like an inspection, kind-of-thing.

With, or without his jackboots, they line up all the wrongdoers, the arrested and indicted, and Crony General Mukasey walks up and down, perhaps giving him a riding crop, for the effect, tapping them on the shoulder ... Guilty .. Guilty ... Innocent ... Innocent, as he goes up and down the lines.

It is, apparently, as easy as that.

Though, this may backfire on them ... I mean, a few guilty ones may slip by him, especially if they are crafty enough to tell the Crony General that "the President said I could do it".

There it is, the Pass Go and Collect $200 magic bullet.

That seems to be about the extent of any investigation that Crony General Mukasey needs.

No gumshoe, pounding-the-pavement for this Crony General.

No hours, upon hours, under a single, hot, glaring light bulb, of interrogation (after all, any type of interrogation, harsh or otherwise, isn't, exactly Mukasy's strong suit).

Just let justice rip ... Shoot it straight from the gut!

Wait a minute ... Again, we underestimate the Bush Grindhouse.

Perhaps the Director of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, passed along, to Crony General Mukasey, the secrets of "feeling in your gut", after he became the "Human Terror Alert".

Move over McGruff, we have now Crony General Michael Mukasey, not a crime-fighter, rather, a crime-decider!


Bonus Crony General Mukasey Riffs

Eli/Firedoglake: Rule Of Law Still Clinging To Life

CNN: Attorney general declines to investigate Bush advisers

Was The Mukasy Vote Part Of That Rovian New Math?

The Crony General Slinks Away ... "I have seen tyranny, dishonesty, corruption, and depravity of types I never thought possible"

Top Ten Cloves: Other Conditions President Bush Has To Allow Rove and Miers To Testify Before Congress



















To the kennels for you, Canine Cop Boy ... There's a new Crime-Decider in town, and he isn't interested in taking a bite out of it