Monday, November 24, 2008

Breaking ... Mukasey Fainting Due To Deep Introspection

In Middle of Speech, Attorney General Suddenly Realized He Was Part of Bush Administration.

Sources close to the Department of Injustice told The Garlic tonight, that the fainting spell that overcame Attorney General Michael Mukasey last week, was due to the sudden realization that he was working for, what history will soon record, the worst President in U.S. History.

Speaking at the Federalist Society in Washington, DC., last Thursday, Mukasey began shaking, slurring his words and then collasped on stage, and, subsequently, rushed to a local area hospital.

Eyewitnesses indicate that Mukasey was conscious, and talking to medical personnel attending to him.

"He realized, well into his speech, his mind was drifting," the source indicated.

"He then, swiftly, became overcome, consumed with the thought, as he was giving his speech, mind you, that he worked for the Bush Administration."

Mukasey, just before passing out, started remembering how he defend Vice President Cheney on Executive Privilege, as well as telcom immunity.

"He had particular inner grief that he was vague on waterboarding."

"Backing the President on wiretapping, and not enforcing court subpoenas was the last thing he said he could remember, before passing out."

Mukasey was released from the hospital the following day, after doctors determined that there were no signs of stroke or that he had a heart attack.

Rumors have circulated around Washington, that Mukasey has been "doctor shopping", seeking one that will give a diagnosis of continued trouble, and provide the Attorney General with a note, indicating he should "stay home and rest, until, at minimum, late January".

More, as this story develops.

Bonus Crony General Riffs

Sidney Blumenthal - The sad decline of Michael Mukasey: His reputation for integrity was meant to restore credibility to the Justice Department. Instead, his remarks on waterboarding show that he, like Alberto Gonzales, has let the White House call the shots

Dahlia Lithwick: Thank You. Now Go to Hell ...Mukasey stonewalls Senate Democrats on water-boarding, and practically everything else

Mukasey Plays The Card ... So, Pelosi, We Need That Table - Now!

Pass The Word ... Mukasey Lies!

No, He Will Never Be Accused of Knowing Too Much

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