Thursday, July 13, 2006

This Just In! Bush Faux Pas Caused By Bad Intel, Plame Lawsuit

Bush Stuns Germany’s Merkel With Hearty Belly Kiss

White House Cites – Again – Faulty Intelligence; Blames Former CIA Chief Tenet

The White House, this evening, is in full crises-mode, not over the exploding violence in the Middle East, but over a diplomatic faux pas, after President Bush gave German Chancellor Angela Merkel, an unexpected, hearty belly kiss.

The President, who arrived in Germany last evening, was making a one-day stop, before a weekend of talks the leaders of the G8 in St. Petersburg, Russia, to meet with Merkel, shoring up his delicate coalition against a backdrop of escalating violence in Iraq, tense negotiations with North Korea, and an exploding war between Israel and the militant Lebanese group, Hezbollah

After Merkel, Bush Then Belly Kisses German, U.S. Delegation, and Secret Service Agents

Merkel looked stunned, according to sources, shortly after the President and First Lady arrived at Trinwillershagen, the summer home of the Merkel, for an evening barbeque

Bush, upon arriving, good-naturedly took over the conductors’ wand of the band that greeted him and then walked over to Merkel, who had her arm extended, as if to shake hands.

Witnesses who spoke to The Garlic said that Bush ignored the handshake offer, and quickly pulled up Merkel’s blouse, giving her a hearty, lip-smacking Belly Kiss, leaving German leader “stunned” and sucking the air out of the other guests at the barbeque.

“It was like the final scene of “The Wild Bunch”, offered veteran independent foreign correspondent, Huntley Haverstock Jr.

“When Pike Bishop shoots the Mexican General and everybody in the villa freezes ... Everyone at the barbeque just stopped breathing, with bugged-out eyes and some with open mouths, like the couldn’t believe what they had just seen.”

Haverstock said that it appeared President Bush didn’t understand what was going on around him and First Lady Laura Bush moved over to him quickly, and whispered something in the President’s ear.

What happened next bordered on the sublime, said Haverstock.

“It was apparent that Mrs. Bush told her husband of the faux pas and the President attempted to recover as quickly as he could.”

President Bush, said Haverstock, proceeded to Belly Kiss other members of the German delegation, including Merkel’s husband, as well as First Lady Laura Bush, and members of his own entourage, including the Secret Service agents traveling with the President.

An awkward and uneasy air hung over the barbeque, as the President moved about and other guests mingled, and keeping an eye as to where President Bush was located at all times.

Cheney Asks In Note On Newspaper – “Is This The New Handshake In Europe and Russia

Later, the White House attempted to explain the President’s sudden outburst of Belly Kissing.

Special Counselor and Director of Strategic Communications Dan Bartlett told reporters that President Bush had received some “bad intelligence.”

After the incident last week, with Russian President Vladimir Putin pulling up the T-shirt of a five-year-old boy outside the Kremlin and shocking the crowd by planting a Belly Kiss on the boy

"He seemed very independent and serious... I wanted to cuddle him like a kitten and it came out in this gesture. He seemed so nice," said Putin

Before the trip to Germany, and the G8, according to Bartlett, the White House Travel Office looked into Putin’s Belly Kiss, after being directed by Vice President Dick Cheney.

Cheney sent over an article cut of the newspaper on the Putin belly kiss, and, writing in the margins, asked “Is this something we should be doing?” and “Is this the new handshake in Europe and Russia?”

White House Mum On Second Medal of Freedom Award For Tenet Advice on Belly Kiss

“We attempted to vet this,” said Bartlett.

By happenstance, Bartlett said, he received a telephone call from former CIA Director George Tenet, on unrelated business. During the course of the conversation, Bartlett queried Tenet about the Belly Kissing.

“He told me it was solid ... A slam dunk.”

Bartlett then advised the Travel Staff and the Belly Kiss was added to the President’s agenda.

Bartlett would neither confirm nor deny if Tenet’s advice would put him in line to receive a second ‘Medal of Freedom’ award

Putin: Cheney Inept At “Note-Writing and Social Graces”

When reached for comment, Putin, who will be the host of the G8 meeting this weekend, was amused.

“Not only is Vice President Cheney an unsuccessful hunter, he seemingly is equally inept at note-writing and social graces.”

Putin was following up on his response to Cheney’s recent criticism, of Moscow moving away from democracy, telling NBC's "Today" show yesterday, saying of Cheney, "These kinds of comments from your vice president amount to the same thing as an unsuccessful hunting shot."

There were no comments from the Vice President’s office early this evening, however, sources close to the White House say that Cheney aide David Addington was preparing a Signing Statement for President Bush to condemn Putin and his remarks

The President is more “John Wayne” then “John Doe.”

When pressed of more information, Bartlett admitted that President Bush “may have been rattled” as he arrived at the barbeque, having just received the news of Valerie Plame filing suit against Cheney, Karl Rove and Lewis ‘”Scooter” Libby, and 10 additional “John Doe’s”, for violating her rights in exposing her identity of being a covert CIA agent

“We really can’t comment on a on-going investigation or court case,” said Bartlett. “We just heard about it and haven’t seen the filing and really can’t comment on anything.”

Bartlett was asked if President Bush is one of the “John Doe’s” listed in Plame’s lawsuit.

“I really can’t say,” said Bartlett. “But I doubt it ... The President is more “John Wayne” then “John Doe.”

In this photo, taken minutes after the Belly Kissing outburst by President Bush, in which he stunned German Chancellor Angela Merkel, both the President and Merkel lingered in an awkward moment, before First Lady Laura Bush interceded and had the President Belly Kiss the rest of the German delegation, his own entourage and the Secret Service agents on duty

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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The 9/11 events and the anomalies in the official story raised Unanswered Questions about:
- the unprecedented failure of the US air defense system on the morning of the attacks;
- the AWOL military chain of command during the actual attacks, including the inexplicable behavior of the presidential entourage;
- the seeming impossibility of official claims with regard to Flight 77;
- the evidence that Flight 93 was shot down;
- contradictions and dubious evidence in the official claims about the alleged hijackers and masterminds, and doubts about their real identities;
- signs that the alleged hijackers enjoyed high-level protection against discovery by honest investigators;
- evidence that the alleged hijackers were financed by states allied with US intelligence;
- suspicious and massive international financial trades suggesting foreknowledge of the attacks;
- widespread signs of official foreknowledge and, in fact, advance preparation for the 9/11 attack scenario;
- the long-running links between Islamist fundamentalist terror cells and US covert operations, dating back to CIA support for the anti-Soviet mujahedeen and Osama Bin Ladin himself;
- the demolition-like collapse of the Twin Towers and of a third skyscraper, WTC 7;
- and questions concerning who could have logically expected to derive benefit in the aftermath of a massive attack on the United States.
The suspicions received further confirmation a few weeks after September 11th, with the arrival of anthrax letters targeted only at opposition politicians and media figures, and timed to coincide with the introduction of the USA PATRIOT Act.
Google: 9/11 inside job