President Palin! ... Good Bob Franken Spoof

Oh Man, when we espied this post last evening, it was like "Yikes", did we just wake up from a coma?

Veteran newsman, and former CNN Political Reporter, Bob Franken projects out, tongue firmly in cheek, of Ms. Ya'Bet'cha actually winning the Presidency in 2012, and it is a major hoot.

By far the largest voting bloc in the United States turned against Obama -- those who had no health insurance, which was everyone but government workers. The rich paid for their medical care at hospitals within their barricaded communities.

As to The Wasilla Whiz Kid's cabinet, it includes;

Vice President Newt Gingrich
Attorney General Greta Van Susteren
Press Secretary Sean Hannity

You gotta figure that Pinhead Faux Plumber Joe would wind up with some plum post, as would The Cheeseburger That Sweats (aka Rush Limbaugh - H/T Barry Crimmins).

Go read Bob Franken's "Sarah Palin 2013: A Look Ahead", it is extremely humorous, and with a killer punchline to end it.

Our Ignorant Dolt of the Week ... Rick Warren!

As usual, we had a few different candidates this past week, doing their darnedest, vying, yearning, longing, to be named The Garlic's Ignorant Dolt of the Week.

Take the Turd Blossom, for instance.

Along with attempting to pass of the rotted, fetid eight-years of the Bush Grindhouse as freshly-caught fish, he's planning on writing a book and "naming all the Bush haters".

Here's a tip, Son-of-the-Golden Cock Ring, it might be easier just to ask people to raise their hands, of those who can, at minimum, stomach The Commander Guy.

And his old, Rovian ways are working on at least one person.

Chris Wallace, of Faux News.

Wallace bought passage on the S.S. Bush Legacy Restoration Barge, dropping to his knees for the Grindhouse.

From Think Progress;

Last Monday, at a screening of Ron Howard’s new film “Frost/Nixon,” Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace vociferously defended President Bush against criticism by Howard that Bush has abused the office of the presidency in a way similar to President Richard Nixon. “Richard Nixon’s crimes were committed purely in the interest of his own political gain,” said Wallace. Wallace claimed that it was a “gross misreading of history” to say that Bush abused his power “for pure political self preservation” like Nixon did.

You whore yourself like that Chris, just for a "special exit interview" with Darth Vader?

Like that's going to be some earth-shattering, breaking news?

Did you miss the Little Scooter's trial?

Cheney must be sizing you up to take Little Timmy Russert's place, to feed his propaganda to, without the worry of any kind of push back.

All fine efforts, but the IDOTW has to go to the Purpose-Driven-Carny, Rick Warren.

I guess, since hustling the networks into doing an infomercial, for his "Blazing Saddleback" event during the campaign, complete with the mysterious, magical, "Cone of Silence", has him, boldly grabbing the baton from that other television preacher/God's Ninja, Pat Robertson, and issuing off death warrants for our enemies.

WARREN ENDORSES HANNITY'S WARMONGERING...

Pastor Rick Warren has a reputation for being far more stable and grounded than religious right leaders and TV preachers like Pat Robertson, but it's worth remembering that he's not exactly a moderate.

Last night, on Fox News, Sean Hannity insisted that United States needs to "take out" Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Warren said he agreed. Hannity asked, "Am I advocating something dark, evil or something righteous?" Warren responded, "Well, actually, the Bible says that evil cannot be negotiated with. It has to just be stopped.... In fact, that is the legitimate role of government. The Bible says that God puts government on earth to punish evildoers. Not good-doers. Evildoers."

Well, I guess, if it's a Purpose-Driven political assassination, than it's cool with the Big Guy, Upstairs.

Here's the transcript of the exchange, from The Wonk Room;

HANNITY: Can you talk to rogue dictators? Ahmadinejad denies the Holocaust, wants to wipe Israel off the map, is seeking nuclear weapons.

WARREN: Yes.

HANNITY: I think we need to take him out.

WARREN: Yes.

HANNITY: Am I advocating something dark, evil or something righteous?

WARREN: Well, actually, the Bible says that evil cannot be negotiated with. It has to just be stopped. And I believe…

HANNITY: By force?

WARREN: Well, if necessary. In fact, that is the legitimate role of government. The Bible says that God puts government on earth to punish evildoers. Not good-doers. Evildoers.

HANNITY: I’m just gotten, thanks to my wife, who you know, you know, been reading the Old Testament. Because as a good Catholic growing up, I studied more the New Testament.

WARREN: Just ignored that part.

HANNITY: I ignored the Old Testament. But what about King David? What about the — all the battles, all the conflict, you know, going back - - you know, Abraham — Adam and Eve and their children, going forward?

WARREN: The point is, there are some things worth dying for. There’s no doubt about that. And I would die for my family. I would die for my freedom. I would die for this country.

HANNITY: If somebody broke into your house, you would be justified to kill them?

WARREN: I would be justified to protect my family. Absolutely.

HANNITY: And if it took killing them?

WARREN: Absolutely.

HANNITY: But it’s not murder at that point?

WARREN: No. Murder is not self-defense.

Perhaps, Warren can plead insanity, since he was in discussion with The Royal Nitwit, Hannity, but I think its something more than that.

With the transition of power, from The Bush Grindhouse, to Obama, there must be some rumblings amongst the Bible Thumpers.

Who's going to lead the eyes-closed rabble of the Republican Far Right through these next four-years of darkness.

You can't just talk about doing good deeds, doing the Lords work.

No, you have to define, interpret the Lords work, mix in a little blood and guts, do a little Jimmy Cagney and talk about mowing down all those dirty rats.

Sorry, but attempting to consecrate the Bush Doctrine into a modern day Holy Grail, that takes a lot more moxie than just huckstering the networks, and trying to sell yourself as one of the good Bible Thumpers.

Nosireebob! ... That only gets the purpose-and-killing-driven Rick Warren the crown of our Ignorant Dolt of the Week


Bonus Purpose-Driven IDOTW Riffs

Melissa McEwan: Quote of the Day

Spencer Ackerman: Religious Wars, There’s No Reason Why They Sent You To Die

Think Progress - Warren: Bush’s ‘Peace Award Was Not About Peace’

Thomas Schaller: The attention-driven Warren, Book III

The Raw Story - Ron Howard: Jon Stewart should do Bush exit interview

The Gawker: Chris Wallace Defends Bush Against Mean Ron Howard

Robertson May Have, Inadvertently, Caused Hajj Stampede Deaths ...Was Working On New Material For Bush Video Blitz, Testing New Curses and Condemnations

Breaking News! Robertson Held For Questioning In Falwell Death; Threats Against Chavez, Sharon Make 700 Club Founder 'Person of Interest'

Hannity Hammered!

Ahhhh ... The old "What goes around, comes around" in action.

Following the debate last evening, Obama Spokesperson Robert Gibbs appeared on the Faux News program, 'Sean Hannity' and bludgeoned the warped host with a dose of his own medicine.

Glenn Greenwald - Sean Hannity, Robert Gibbs and anti-Semitism: How to go on Fox News

Over the weekend, Sean Hannity hosted a show on Fox News entitled Obama & Friends: The History of Radicalism. The star of Hannity’s smear fest was none other than Andy Martin, who was featured as an honored, credible investigator and source to expose “the real Barack Obama.” There wasn’t a hostile or adversarial word uttered by Hannity about or towards Martin. To the contrary, Martin’s claims were the basis for many of the Fox News show’s allegations against Obama. This is how Fox described him on-screen when he spoke: “Andy Martin, AUTHOR & JOURNALIST”:

Hannity turned to Martin after asking what Obama means by “community organizer,” and Martin explained that Obama “was in training for a radical overthrow of the government” — and Fox then promoted Martin’s book:

All of that led to last night’s masterful appearance by Robert Gibbs on Hannity & Colmes after the debate. Gibbs obviously knew that Hannity was interested in asking him only about the most vital issue of the day in the world of right-wing extremism — the exciting attempt to link Obama to Bill Ayers through rank guilt-by-association — and this is the superb exchange that ensued:

Jason Linkins- Robert Gibbs Confronts Hannity Over Anti-Semite Guest

Well rest assured, America, after the debate there was one venue where discussion on Ayers came hot and heavy: the Fox News Channel. I think it's all they talked about, actually! Everytime we tuned over to Fox, it was "YAAAAAAGHH OBAMA'S TERRORIST PAL!" Fred Thompson wanted to talk about it! Karl Rove wanted to talk about. And most of all, Sean Hannity wanted to talk about it with Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs, who'd already endured the business end of Mark Halperin's idiot vlog on the subject. Well, finally, Gibbs decided he just wasn't having any more of it, and in precisely the sort of parry that one wanted to see turned the guilt-by-association game on Hannity, asking him, "Are you anti-Semitic?" Soon, the conversation was a mess of yelling and crosstalk, with Gibbs loudly asking why Hannity would give a hatemonger a primo forum, and Hannity responding, "BENJAMIN NETANYAHU BLURBED MY BOOK! YAAHHHH! LOUD NOISES!"

Why'd he ask that? Oh, because Sean Hannity built an entire smear-job "news" program around the lunatic ravings of an anti-Semitic loon named Andy Martin. He's not the only man of that ilk that Hannity pals around with, either. Hannity protested that he's a friend of Israel, and that it's important for Fox News to respect the viewpoints of crackpots like Martin. Not to repeat ourselves, but that's why Hannity puts the "Sean" in "shonde."

Here’s the exchange;

Robert Gibbs takes on Sean Hannity




Be sure to click over to Keith Olbermann

He has a segment on this, with the additional bonus of a special poem, sent in by a viewer - John Cleese.

Yes, that John Cleese!

The New Fox News Tagline

"False, Fixed and Straight From The White House"

What ear-shattering, jarring, blinding, obnoxious graphic will they come up with for this?

Tweety had an interview with former White House Press Secretary Scott "I Be Singing Now" McClellan, and this "Duh" tidbit came up;

McClellan: White House gave FOX commentators talking points

Matthews: “Did you see FOX television as a tool when you were in the White House? As a useful avenue to get your message out?”

McClellan: “I make a distinction between the journalists and the commentators. Certainly there were commentators and other, pundits at FOX News, that were useful to the White House.” […] That was something we at the White House, yes, were doing, getting them talkng points and making sure they knew where we were coming from.

Matthews: “So you were using these commentators as your spokespeople.”

McClellan: “Well, certainly.”

(You can view the interview Here)

Olbermann jumped all over it, as well;

Bush White House fed Fox News talking points

July 25: In his appearance on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews, former White House press secretary Scott McClellan revealed that the White House routinely submitted literal talking points for prime time stars of Fox News like Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity. Air America’s Rachel Maddow talks with Keith Olbermann about the line between political agreement and outright puppetry.

Hmmm ... I wonder, will the Faux news people go to the Bush Grindhouse for the last office party on January 19th, or will they have their own, in-studio?























Bonus Faux News Riffs

Cenk Uygur - POLL: Time For Us To Label Fox?

USGovInfo - Fox News: 'Fair and Balanced' or 'Fox for Bush?'

Ellen - Newshounds: The Lies of Roger Ailes

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Roger Ailes and Fox News Plans On Ending Its’ Ratings Slump

Roger Ailes Is Slipping ... Blows Wildfire Scoop For New Biz Network

Nicole Belle: Fox News Producer Ambushes Bill Moyers; Gets Taste Of His Own Medicine

Good Post Alert: Fox News is in for a very rough 2008

"The fledgling Fox Business Network, whose anemic ratings are in danger of being surpassed by some large city public access channels."

If their motto, during the Republican reign, has been "Fair and Balanced", what becomes of it during a Democrat-occupied White House?

Eric Boehlert, over on Media Matters, has a rundown on Faux News, that is most entertaining;

Fox News is in for a very rough 2008

"The point is that Fox News years ago made an obvious decision to appeal almost exclusively to Republican viewers. The good news then for Fox News was that it succeeded. The bad news now for Fox News is that it succeeded.

Meaning, when the GOP catches a cold, everybody at Fox News gets sick. As blogger Logan Murphy put it at Crooks and Liars, "Watching FOXNews getting their comeuppance has been fun to watch. They made their bed, now they're having to lie in it and it's not too comfortable."

It was Fat City, replicating and echoing the GOP/RNC/Bush Grindhouse Talking Points, but that, in all likelihood, is coming to an end.

If electing Hillary or Obama in November causes an earthquake, there'll be a nearly-as-large aftershock, being the fall of the vaunted leader,. Roger Ailes.

For even one of the best, and mightiest, smearmeisters will have the most difficult time spinning his way out of this one.

And, speaking of the Fox Business Channel, The Garlic pointed out, perhaps the beginning of his slide downward last year, a major missed opportunity by Ailes, a no-brainer that he, inexplicably, missed.

Now, the future looks even bleaker, perhaps forcing the Faux News Network to shift into one of those sundown-to-sunrise broadcasters, an extended, barely-watched news infomercial for the freakshow and dittoheads.

But never say never ... Something could happen to change their fortunes ... Maybe some new blood will come along ... Maybe someone like, say, Mary Katharine Ham, to pull them out of the fire ...

Check out "Fox News is in for a very rough 2008" ... Stay informed!

Bonus Faux News Riffs

The Lies of Roger Ailes

Every which way but loofah; Inside the Bill O'Reilly sexual harassment lawsuit

POLL: Time For Us To Label Fox?

Breaking News! Fox Bounces The Juice and Brings In The Scooter; OJ Out, Libby In, As Fox Looks To Make Lemonade Out Of Their Lemons; Reagan Snares Cheney Aide For “If I Leaked ...” Special; No Hush Money But Donation Made To Defense Fund

There'll Be A Lot Of Dummies Bidding On This One

When will the unbridled outrage hit?

Will we see a mountain of decks of playing cards being run over by a bulldozer?

Does Clear Channel wave the flag and ban broadcasting any bridge tournaments?

The feathers are flying in the big-time world of Competitive Bridge, as reported today by the NYT;

Display of Anti-Bush Sign Has Competitive Bridge World in an Uproar

"In the genteel world of bridge, disputes are usually handled quietly and rarely involve issues of national policy. But in a fight reminiscent of the brouhaha over an anti-Bush statement by Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks in 2003, a team of women who represented the United States at the world bridge championships in Shanghai last month is facing sanctions, including a yearlong ban from competition, for a spur-of-the-moment protest."

Can't you just see the Faux News gang jumping on this one?

Bill O'Reilly doing his typical, blowhard, fact-less talking points (and, what are the odds that he'll bring some level of creepy sex into it), rallying his pinheads to boycott sponsors, etc.

And that the French team sent a supporting email to the woman ... Man, O'Reilly will have months-and-months of forced outrage to work through on this one.

Sean Hannity, likely already beet-red-in-the-face ... So much so, he must be making plans to launch his own "Free Bid To Save America" concert tour, perhaps pairing up Lee Greenwood and Oliver North to "kick some bridge pansies asses".

Michelle "Stalkin" Malkin will call for these woman to be placed in internment camps, or, perhaps she'll do her stalkin' thing and then print their names, home addresses and telephone numbers on her blog, so the Freakshow nutjobs can harass them (and, heaven help these bridge woman if they have ever taken advantage of a government health program for children).

Strap yourselves in for an onslaught of jingoistic, patriotic morals lessons, and a parade of "bridge experts" on the cable news frontier, pontificating on how this is degrading and ruining the game of Bridge - and the country.

Can't you just see the intrepid Anderson Cooper doing a hushed, pained stand-up in front of a Bridge Tournament?

Or Tucker Carlson, back wearing the bow tie, so it can spin like a propeller in disbelief, conjuring up the anger, and drawing the clear and unmistakable line that this is all Hillary Clinton's fault (Hmm ... Grab the tinfoil hats ... Did the Clinton Campaign ask these Bridge Radicals to hold up the Anti-Bush sign?).

There'll be the stern pronouncements on how all this stains America, how it is such a bad example for our children and, yes, even professional Bridge players should be, without question, supporting the troops.

And how, clearly, these professional Bridge players are not supporting the troops.

It's the November Sweeps, and there's a writer's strike, so expect to see this one pumped up, loud and long, and, who knows, maybe a reality-based television program around Competitive Bridge will pop up (which would, likely, involve some stupid/dangerous/idiotic stunts while playing a game of Bridge, that could, or could not, include running a marathon, dancing, or having to perform work tasks, which they may, or may not be fired from).

Hmmm ... You can almost see the dreams of Emmy and Peabody awards forming over their heads.

And all of this with a single, exclusive, sponsor - The 43rd President of the United States.

Fade out to 'God Bless America'.

Roll Que Sera Sera with final credits.

Bonus Links

Jon Swift: Bridge Too Far

Truthdig: Bridge Protest Leaves U.S. Team Vulnerable

Keith Olbermann: Fox gone wild - Nov. 12: Filmmaker Robert Greenwald discusses how Fox’s programming may be at odds with its own family agenda.










Watch out ladies, the Rightwing Express may be barreling down the tracks in your direction

Was Something In the Air, or Water, Last Week?

Man, the Rightwing Freakshow was at it last week.

Maybe they went off their meds, or there was something in the air, or water.

Garlic readers know of our fleeting brush with the infamous faux reporter, Jeff Gannon (okay, he spam commented a bunch of sites, seemingly, anyone that called him a fake reporter, but, it was all we had to work with).

Our good friend Barry Crimmins also took note of it, in his post Dang me!, along with Dennis Perrin, author and another great humorist, who has been butting heads, of sort, with some dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds on that Un Poco Pink Balls, or some such moniker.

Check it out, or go straight over to Dennis Perrin and read his hysterical posts on it.

And, while you're in the mood, check out Steve Benen at The Carpetbagger Report, and his riff on Fox News’ Hannity rails against Halloween, which ‘teaches kids to be liberals’

Lame Duck President and a Lame Duck Freakshow ... Not sure which one is going to be worse ...

Oh, God help us!